The social phobia substitute will not dream of the band girl

"...That's true~"

Asakura smiled.

Chapter 5 Dream of a Climbing Frame

"Hmm... I feel like I don't understand anything about Toru at all—"

"Hey, why do you say that?"

The makeup photos were easily taken care of, and I also greeted many people while visiting the shooting site and moving around in the building. Logically, today's work should have been finished earlier.

But because Toru Asakura didn't check the work group, they are now preparing the questionnaire here, and due to time constraints they can only finish it here and submit it.

"[Sleep in], [Watch a movie], [Want a blouse]... The question is about '10 things you want to do in your life', right?"

"Oh, no?"

"No, it's not impossible. After all, if this is what you really think——"

Ping Xin threw the empty bottle in his hand aside, made a beautiful three-pointer, then bought two bottles of drinks from the vending machine next to him, and then stood beside her and said.

"There are many reasons for wanting to [sleep in], like lack of sleep, feeling sleepy after eating, or simply liking to sleep. As for [watching movies], what kind of movies do you watch? What kind of genres do you prefer? What kind of actors do you like? ... Questions like these, I don't know anything about."

He held up two bottles of drinks in his hand, one of apple juice and one of marble soda, and then continued: "Just like these two bottles of drinks, if Toru had to choose one from them, I could probably guess which one it was, but it's also possible that I couldn't guess it -

Because Toru might choose one side because he wants something sweet, or the other side because he wants soda. Does this choice represent your entire preference? At least I don't think so, because such "preferences" can change depending on the weather, mood, occasion, and various other factors.

Even if I can draw patterns from Toru's choices, that doesn't mean I can always guess right. If I don't truly understand you, problems might arise one day, and I don't want any unpleasant memories of being with you to be etched in my memory."

Asakura Toru put away the faint smile that always graced his face, but he didn't smile as brightly as he had done in his "business mode" of greeting people just now. Instead, he observed him with a sizing, thoughtful look, as if he were facing something unfamiliar and new.

"...Don't you know?"

"do not know."

"If you don't tell me, I won't know?"

"Although I can sometimes guess, but if you don't tell me your true feelings, I won't be able to fully understand it... Even a New Type can't do it——"

After hearing this, Toru looked at the two bottles of drinks on the table, and after a few seconds he asked, "Who is the New Type?"

"See? ...If you can understand it, then it must be two-way. Just like I didn't know that Tohru was a girl before, I didn't know Tohru's last name was Asakura. And Tohru didn't know that I now use the last names Asuka and Heiwa before we met, and what the New Type I mentioned was, right?"

"...So how do we do that (to understand each other)?"

"As for New Type...it's simply a term used in the Gundam series to describe humans who have awakened new abilities in space, freed from the constraints of gravity. Their defining characteristic is that they can communicate with each other to a certain degree—"

Ping Xin first briefly dictated the word, then took out an encyclopedia from his phone and showed it to her, and then explained why he used this word, such as why he liked this series.

"Even though New Type is just a fantasy possibility... I believe that by accumulating understanding of each other bit by bit like this, one day we will be able to reach a state where we can understand each other's thoughts with just a glance or a gesture."

"...I understand. Well, that's it~"

To celebrate this consensus, the two of them toasted and used the two bottles of drinks on the table -

"If I were to drink, I'd choose ramune soda here. Do you know why?"

"Hmm... like it?"

"Yeah, I like it, Toru... Because I think apple juice is better for the body and tastes good, so I want the important Toru to drink it."

Pingxin raised the empty bottle in his hand and shook it, and the marbles in the bottle made a crisp colliding sound.

"But when I'm alone, I'll probably choose this one. Do you know why?"

"Yes, I like it." He answered firmly.

"Yes, I do, because I actually quite like these things that don't have much nutritional value. But I made the same choice twice, and the reason was the same [like], but the reason for liking it and the mood at the time were different.

What I want to know is this kind of thing, it’s Tooru’s heart…”

I feel it... I know how you feel right now -

A smile appeared on his face, and the apple juice drink, which was originally sweet, now seemed a little cloying.

But sure enough, I still like it.

"So tell me...why did Toru say something so sad like 'Life is so long—'?"

"Yeah...I'll tell you."

......

...

..

"Ever since I was a kid, I've occasionally had dreams about this strange climbing frame where no matter how hard I climb... I just can't reach the top."

"Before climbing, it just looks huge. But in reality, as soon as you step on it, you can no longer see the top."

“So I thought—ahhh, this feels so long…”

"But after one day, this strange dream disappeared."

At this point, Toru Asakura stopped and looked at him with a smile on his face.

Pingxin knew why the dream disappeared.

And she also knew that even though she couldn't see anything through the mask, she just knew that he was looking at her.

"After that day, the strange dreams turned into pleasant ones."

“Although the climbing frame that appears in my dreams every day is still so tall, this time, I don’t feel uneasy even though I can’t see the top.”

"Because whenever I feel uneasy, there is always someone waiting in front of me to lead me forward."

"So I can climb up, whether it's a climbing frame or life."

"But one day, the shadow of the companion in my dream disappeared."

"And the climbing frame has returned to its old state. No matter how hard you try, you can't reach the top. It's a strange climbing frame—"

"...I'm sorry, I didn't know my absence would cause you so much trouble."

Although they did regard each other as best friends, they also regarded each other as children who would easily forget, so he just left so easily.

"But this time it's different. I will follow you and climb up together."

"...Just like back then?"

At that time, Ping Xin also said the same thing, but he left halfway.

"No—this time, I won't leave... Absolutely not!"

Chapter 6 Reasons

"Then, it's your turn."

Asakura Toru picked up the half-empty bottle of apple juice, while Hirashin put down the empty soda bottle.

"Well... let's talk about why Toru and I became friends. Do you know this, Toru?"

The cardboard box, which had become a little shriveled because the contents were sucked out, returned to its original shape slightly, but when it deflated again, this time it was really empty.

No matter how beautiful her blinking eyes were, or how wide her clear blue eyes were, it was useless. Because some things are like math problems, if you can't do it, you really can't do it, and you can't figure it out no matter how hard you try.

"Well, look...we both have a lot to learn about each other, right?"

"Hmm... maybe so (but not necessarily)"

Toru handed him the shriveled cardboard box, Pingxin threw it out, and then threw out the empty bottle of soda at an even faster speed, this time for 6 points.

"Actually, when I first started talking to you...wasn't I new at the time? I didn't know anyone, and then I saw Toru sitting there alone, looking at the sky. I thought, 'Ah, maybe this kid is alone like me,' or something, and that's when I started talking to him."

"Yeah...I know."

Toru nodded, and Pingxin continued.

"But when I finally made up my mind to strike up a conversation, I got closer and saw that the other person was actually this mysterious 'beautiful boy'. To be honest, I was shocked at the time... I suddenly lost my courage, but I didn't want to show weakness, so I sat down not far from you."

“Then, I started talking.”

"Yes, yes... If you hadn't taken the initiative to talk to me, I probably wouldn't have been able to muster up the courage to make my first friend in my life... Thank you so much, Toru-kun."

This is probably the last time I call "him" [Tou-kun].

"..."

Asakura Toru has always been an unpredictable person, because her thoughts are absolutely different from those of ordinary people, and she has a special sensibility. Therefore, even people around her like Hira Nobuyuki and Higuchi Enka can only infer her based on her behavior.

For example, if someone smiles, it means he is happy. Sometimes, if he suddenly stands still, he is in a daze. If he suddenly stops talking, he may be angry, but it may also be that he suddenly thought of something, and so on.

But if she just suddenly became silent without showing any more emotion, like now, Pingxin couldn't guess what she was thinking.

But he would never use mind reading, firstly because of respect for important people, and secondly because Master Feng's speedrunning game was indeed good, but if it was a masterpiece, he would like to play it for a while longer.

"Sometimes I even feel like Toru is an alien, full of countless mysteries that make me want to explore."

"...Is the difference that big?"

"Not really—after all, in a sense, we're all aliens. It's just that I think Tooru is a more special kind of human... a more romantic, more mysterious, more lovable kind of human."

She smiled, probably feeling happy now. But what exactly are you happy about?

Did you feel funny? Was it the joy of being praised? Or was it because of the conversation we had?

I don’t know…I don’t know, Tooru—

"Although Toru is indeed very charming, handsome, cute, and full of fascinating sensuality. But the reason I'm friends with you... after all, it's because I feel so comfortable when I'm with you. How should I put it... a feeling of freedom? Or should I say, like a fish in water?"

...Now even I'm not quite sure, anyway, I just like you, I like being with you, so we're friends."

"I like you too..."

Toru looked away. Was he embarrassed after realizing his slip of the tongue?

But if that's all, I can't tell anything. No rising body temperature, no blush on your face, no violently beating heart. Even if you use a little bit of superpowers, I won't know how you feel.

"As expected, I still think Toru is amazing... Even if others don't know what you're thinking, you can still live your life as usual, using your own style, your own way, your own attitude towards life, without any external interference... I've always envied you, okay?

Perhaps—perhaps part of the reason I mistook you for a boy when I was little was because I projected my ideal self onto you. I longed to fly free of all constraints, even if it meant falling to my death after exhaustion. But I also clung to the warmth of the world, the bonds between people, which is why I've always been half-baked...

But recently I think half-baked is not bad either——"

strangeness--

Ping Xin could see such feelings from her eyes and expression.

This is very normal, because when people get along with people they are familiar with, they often play "the role they see in the other person's eyes."

Like being a child in front of parents, being the protector or the protected in front of siblings, being the lover or the loved one in a relationship, and being a qualified subordinate in front of the boss...

Just like when he was a child, he would deliberately ask his father for advice and act like a spoiled child to his mother, playing the role of an older brother in front of his children, and playing the role of a reliable, humorous, funny, and warm boyfriend in front of Asuna and the others, and so on...

People live their lives wearing masks, but there is nothing wrong with this kind of falsehood, because it maintains the interaction between people and the normal operation of society.

Without this layer of hypocrisy, people would be cut by each other's edges and corners and fall into endless disputes. Without this layer of relationship as a buffer, many people would not come together, because not everyone likes the real you, me, her/him.

It is better to say that it is precisely because everyone is so hypocritical and hateful that when they show even a little sincerity and enthusiasm, we will be attracted to each other and come together.

What Higuchi Enka hates is this hypocrisy, even though she herself is the one who is more "hypocritical" than anyone else, always hiding her true feelings and refusing to be honest with others.

Toru Asakura is not hypocritical, but no one can understand her, so she is very lonely. Even though she may not think so, she is actually "alone".

But this has nothing to do with the reason why Ping Xin likes her——

"But sometimes, liking someone is just liking them, there's no need for so many reasons... I just like [Toru], and it doesn't matter if you're a man or a woman, tall or short, old or young. Even if we weren't like we are now, I would still be friends with you...

This is why I am here now. Although there is no logic, our hearts are the best reason.”

"......Hmm~"

She smiled, which was cute, but did she understand?

...I still don't know. This is giving me a headache~

Chapter 7 The World Through Tou's Eyes

"Just liking someone isn't enough. If you truly like someone, you'll naturally want to know about Toru, understand his thoughts, and comprehend his feelings.