The social phobia substitute will not dream of the band girl

Goto Ichiri lowered his head.

"It's not like, it's [I like it very much]~"

"!"

H-I see... Hehehe~

Ichiri laughed out loud, and Heishin smiled and touched her head.

Really... No matter how many times I tease you, I always...

How can I repay your trust?

Chapter 100 The So-Called True Self (4000)

Sudden fall and sunset

The sudden evening rain made me tired of not bringing an umbrella

Sora no machine is too good to be true

What does the mood of the sky have to do with me?

Season's clothing

What clothes should I wear when the seasons change?

春と秋どこいっちゃったんだよ

Where have spring and autumn gone?

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Ah, Kikuri-san and Kita-san's singing styles are different...

It was very strange. There were many young audience members in the audience today, and their number was no less than when he was in the livehouse, but Goto Ichiri did not feel nervous at all. Instead, he could watch them out of the corner of his eye.

Oftentimes, the so-called lyrics are what people want to say but can’t express themselves.

It’s just that sometimes we don’t know how to express it, sometimes it’s because of various complicated reasons that we can’t say it, and sometimes it’s just that people’s hearts have become numb and they don’t have the energy to express their true thoughts.

These lines are the beginning of the first song, a new beginning after the end of the band, and the first meeting between Hiranobu and Goto Ichiri.

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The pressure of information coming out

The suffocating pressure of the information age

めまいのspiralだわたしはどこにいる

Where am I in this dizzy spiral?

no sound

There are so many breathing sounds

変だね世界の音がしない

The strange thing is that this world is silent

The foot is the foot

Not enough, not enough. I haven't been noticed by anyone yet.

The status of the book is called んだよ

Like a chaotic rhythm shouting without a sound

「ありのまま」なんてWho に见せるんだ

Who is the "real self" meant to be seen?

Red deer なわたしは歌 うだけ

I am ignorant and can only sing loudly

ぶちまけちゃおうか星に

Tell everything to the stars

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That summer, she was caught in a sudden downpour and was left like a stray dog ​​under the eaves.

That summer, he came with an umbrella and left in the rain, and for a time he became the figure in her dreams.

Before meeting Guitar, Goto Ichiri's life was empty and meaningless. If nothing unexpected happens, only her family will remember her after she dies...

Nothing changed after she started practicing guitar, she was still alone...

Although at the beginning she had not only longing and impulse but also some thoughts of escape, she eventually fell in love with playing the guitar and gained a lot of attention online.

But it didn't work, and it didn't really change her. Instead, it made her a hardcore weirdo among weirdos, and she still spent the first three years without anyone paying attention to her original intention... until she met him.

He said, "You can change. If you need help, you can rely on me as your senior..."

That was her first time—

This was the first time I was seriously cared for by someone other than my family, the first time I was encouraged by someone other than my family, the first time... I was recognized and expected.

But at that time, besides joy, she was filled with confusion, doubt, suspicion and... inferiority.

So she escapes reality once again, forgetting that she has an important business card in her pocket, and it is destroyed by the washing machine...

Goto Ichiri once thought that her fate with her "senior" had ended there. Ironically, she was actually relieved at that time. When she met Hirayukobu again, she felt more "surprised" than "happy".

In the information age, the right and wrong, love and hate, black and white that people used to know are all mixed up, just like the true purpose of ordinary letters is hard to see.

At least that's what she thought at the time... After all, as a person with social anxiety who didn't have any friends to confide in, she could only learn anything she wanted through her family and the internet...

But the more she thought about it, the more confused she became, because Goto Ichiri had no experience of getting along well with people her own age. It was as sad and ridiculous as a virgin who couldn't imagine what a real girl was like.

Although there are a huge population of more than seven billion people in the world, who knows, who understands, and who cares about Goto Ichiri?

If it weren't for the words he said to her, if it weren't for the smile he made for her, if it weren't for the sound coming from her phone, to Yili, it would just be [noise]...

The meaningless noise that has nothing to do with oneself is something that is unwanted (unrecognized) just like oneself is to others and to the world.

Even though her online account [Guitar Hero] had 20,000 or 30,000 followers, it wasn't enough...

not enough! not enough! not enough!

It’s not enough!!!

Because... because they like "Guitar Hero" -

Instead of this socially anxious, introverted Goto Ichiri who always has to say "ah" before speaking...

I want people to see my true self...but not like that.

So what was I thinking in my heart?

Ahhh... I want to be praised, flattered, and patted on the head...

I think being discovered, being recognized, being acknowledged—

After performing in front of others for the first time at the Seisho Festival, collaborating with others for the first time, and being expected and recognized for the first time, Goto Ichiri finally understood his true feelings...

And it was probably at that time that she really began to like this man.

It's not a vague affection, but an emotion as hot as a flame... and people generally call it—

Love.

But Asuka Maheishin was too outstanding, too shining, and too...out of reach for her, so she could only treat her "senior" as a star in the sky and confide in him every night before going to bed.

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エリクサーに张り为えるWORK もなんとなくなんだ

Even with Elixir strings the sound is still not satisfactory.

I owe you little claws and no touch.

Gently stroke the nail with chipped edges

The body with a radius of 300mm is a dead body.

With this body with a radius of 300mm, I desperately play the guitar

音楽にとっちゃココがEARTHだな

For music, this body is the earth.

Sora no Sora no Sora no Sora no Sora

Hold the air and punch the sky

なんにも出きないわたしは无码さ

But nothing happened. I am so powerless.

だけどさその手でこの鉄を弾いたら

But when I pluck the iron string with this hand

何かが変わって见えた…ような.

It's like I can see something changing...

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No, no, no... No no ...

No matter how many times he tuned the instrument, no matter how many strings he changed, no matter how many times he played the same piece, after the school festival, Goto Ichiri could never play it with the same feeling...

That's the feeling when I'm with Pingxin.

Even if you play until you are exhausted, play until dawn, play until your concentration is distracted, and you scratch your hands or even knock your nails, you still cannot produce the same tone.

Is it because people are different?

Before he realized his true feelings, Goto Ichiri thought that his technique was flawed, which was why he couldn't play such beautiful music...

Even if she played it during the day, it was completely different for her now.

What happened after I fainted, and what have I forgotten...?

In the end, she could only lie on the bed unwillingly, looking at the ceiling.

It's like trying to grab something with a fist, but in the end all you have in your hand are your own troubles.

He punched the sky as if he wanted to vent all his troubles, but in the end he could only sigh at his own powerlessness.

next time--

Will my playing be different the next time I meet him?

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Dazzling light