The social phobia substitute will not dream of the band girl

"Toru, tomorrow is the last day of Golden Week. You've been working so hard today, you need to get some rest. It's not good to catch a cold if you go out in the wind at night."

"Finally...ah. I don't like it, in the end."

Tonight, Toru Asakura did not follow Hiranobu's advice. Instead, after washing her body (mainly with cream), she went for a walk on the beach, and Hiranobu could only follow her.

"Hey, can you listen to my wish?"

"...Of course, you are the birthday girl tonight."

The night sky, the stars, the seaside and you.

With beautiful scenery in front of me and beautiful women in front of me, I hope it will be a good thing.

Ping Xin prayed without any hope.

Chapter 4000: Confession & Opportunity ()

"...Can you tell me why you suddenly made such a decision?"

"Well... you seem a little weird (unhappy) lately, so I wanted to cheer you up?" After keeping the question a little in suspense, the girl traveling with him quickly answered.

"Pfft... What kind of excuse is that...?"

Although he wasn't in the mood to joke, Ping Xin still laughed.

May is the tail end of spring and also the messenger of summer. The evening breeze is cool but the temperature does not make people feel cold. It often disappears without a trace after a shiver, just like a phantom under the moon.

Tonight's moon is large, yet not full. There are many stars, but only a few are recognizable. Just like Ping Xin's existence itself, despite trying hard, there are always omissions. There are always areas that cannot be done well, things that cannot be accomplished, just like now...

Pingxin looked at the barefoot girl beside him. Her short brown hair swayed gently with the breeze and her movements, dancing to the rhythm of her owner as she leaped and danced on the beach. The cyan highlights at the ends of her hair seemed even more unreal in the moonlight, exuding an inhuman charm. Even her ordinary white dress took on a ethereal air.

Is it a god in the sky, a fairy on the mountain, or an elf born from the sea?

No, she was Asakura Toru, just Asakura Toru, a very, very, special human girl. A girl born with a unique soul, fundamentally different from everyone else.

Hmm... beautiful girl.

Faced with a confession from such a beautiful woman, could anyone possibly refuse? Whether male or female, no one in this world should be able to resist her charm. Yes, no one...

"With all due respect... I can't do that."

But Ping Xin can refuse. Fortunately, he has long been a degenerate in every sense.

"......Eh?"

She stopped.

At this moment, the wind stopped, the waves ceased, the stars and the moon stopped twinkling, as if the whole world was sighing and reluctantly leaving her sight, or perhaps it was only her world that stopped.

Ping Xin didn't look at Asakura Toru, but turned to the boundless sea and the starry sky: "...Can't we just be friends?"

"..."

“I thought we could always be friends”

"..."

Still no reply, as if her time had stopped. If that was the case, perhaps her gears wouldn't start turning again until Ping Xin changed his mind or disappeared completely.

Asakura Toru's head drooped naturally, his chest, which had been deliberately puffed out, collapsed, and his hands and feet stood still, like a malfunctioning puppet. With his thoughts and body stuck, he could only mechanically, unsuccessfully, and endlessly repeat the previous instruction.

why?

"...Actually, I'm very scared." Ping Xin muttered to himself while looking at the moon in the sky.

what?

"you..."

"......Why?"

I don't understand. I can't comprehend why things have turned out like this between us?

In a trance, Asakura Toru saw the past again——

......

...

..

Children's understanding of things is often superficial, so a person who looks like a boy (short hair), dresses like a boy (shorts and T-shirt), and calls himself a boy ("boku", a masculine first-person self-pronoun) is just a boy to them, Toru-kun.

Because he is a "boy", there are no other little girls who play with him regularly except Enka and Koito.

Because they are "boys" who play with girls every day, normal boys would not want to be with them. In their opinion, it is an unmanly and shameful behavior.

Humans are social animals. When you're in a group, your individual attributes are diluted, leaving only those that stand out. Being too bad can lead to rejection, while being too good can lead to fear. Regardless of the reason, isolation always occurs, especially among geniuses, outliers, and unique individuals.

And it just so happens that Toru Asakura is that person.

Although Asakura Toru does not feel lonely because of the company of the neighbor's sour-faced little girl (Enka) and the cute follower (Koito), she always feels lonely——

Every man is an island, whether you admit it or not, you are alone.

But just then he appeared, a transfer student named Hirayuko who was more independent than Toru Asakura (he didn't care about the opinions of the kindergarten teachers and other kids at all), more courageous (he dared to pick up the bugs that fell on Enka's clothes and play on the parallel bars), and more intelligent and knowledgeable (he could read Chinese books), named Hirayuko.

The process of establishing connections between isolated islands can sometimes be simple, but most of the time it is very long, just like a message in a bottle thrown into the sea. Even if you can grasp its general direction, you never know where it will end up.

Until that day he took the initiative to reach out his hand, and everything changed. Two lonely and unique souls came together, but it was not to last forever...

But back then, they would read and tell stories together, imagining themselves as heroes, wizards, princesses, and dragons. He didn't mind when others came to listen, but his expression was always less relaxed and cheerful (nervous) than when the four of them were alone.

Even the most mischievous child would not make trouble at that time, otherwise he would not only not hear the rest of the story and be hated by everyone, but would also be beaten up by the boy telling the story, just like the dragon he loved to play.

A complete story cannot be without a villain (the antagonist), but it cannot only have a villain. In fact, Toru Asakura never cares about what role she plays. Should we say that she lets it go, or should we say that she is more curious about what kind of role Hirayuma will assign her?

The villain who plays the role of the evil dragon is naturally an unreasonable person. Like every ordinary girl, Koito likes to play the role of a pampered princess, and she is no exception in front of Hirayuko. What did he say at that time?

...Human life is very short, but it can also be very glorious. Then there are these statements like, "Being a vase has no future," "Do big things, do big things!", "Only by becoming the protagonist of a story can you control your own future," and "Breeding machines have no human rights; only by loving and strengthening yourself can you gain the right to speak."

The children at that time did not understand. Only the teacher who was supervising Pingxin to prevent him from using extremely high-level street fighting techniques (also known as vital strikes) to unilaterally beat the children was shocked and seriously suspected that the child had received some kind of stimulation or advanced education at home.

But now Tou can understand these words, because Ping Xin always says similar words now, as if he has never changed, so reassuring...

Just like Hirayuko originally prepared a profession for Enka that reads as a magician, writer (black-hearted) witch (witch), and now he often teases and jokes with her...

No, it's different now.

Just like they are no longer the same as they were in the past, and she is no longer the princess kidnapped by the dragon in the story, or the little kid who followed him around trying to climb the climbing frame.

Just like now she is the captain of the rising star super popular idol group noctchill, Toru Asakura, instead of the little boy Toru who always clung to her in kindergarten, just like...

Their relationship will not be the same from now on——

I thought your leaving without saying goodbye was a sign of your belief that we would meet again. Could it be that all those happy memories of the past were fake? Was the "telepathy" I saw in you just wishful thinking?

Am I the only one who wants to be together forever?

......

...

..

"...I don't believe it! Unless you give me a reason!"

How long had it been since she'd spoken like that? Her heart felt like it was about to burst out of her chest. She wanted him to see her sincerity so badly that he'd change his mind. But if he was such an easily persuaded person, how could Toru Asakura have fallen in love with him?

"Because I need a friend, and it has to be someone different... Just like the monsters, monsters, and aliens hiding in human society, I need someone to gather with for warmth."

"No...!"

"Everything was fake from the beginning. I will fight for what I need, and I love others to be loved. But in this world... I love myself the most."

"You're lying!"

"I long for love but don't believe in it... I don't understand love, so only through repeated actions can I feel the reality of loving and being loved."

Ping Xin finally turned his head to look at her, and Asakura Toru finally saw the honesty and seriousness in his eyes. Lies never hurt people, the truth is the sharpest knife. This was the second time in his life that Asakura Toru felt such a heart-wrenching feeling, a familiar and terrifying feeling -

"...Don't leave, okay?"

"..."

"Hey, I just want to be with you, so don't leave, okay?"

"..."

"Even if it's just a friend, please don't leave!"

"... Asakura Toru, everyone in this world has something they must do."

Silence, silence, and then another riddle that was almost silent. But people are all made of flesh and blood, and Ping Xin never hated her.

"Toru... No, Toru-kun. You almost changed me once... But I'm sorry, I have other things to do, so I have to leave first."

After brushing aside his doubts about his sexual orientation, Pingxin planned to leave. Perhaps time would be the answer. But no matter what, he couldn't lie to Asakura Toru because he didn't want to lie.

"Hey, what's going on? I still can't help you now? That kind of thing is so annoying!"

"...It has nothing to do with you." Ping Xin tried hard to shake off Asakura Toru's hand.

Once, twice, three times... ten times, twenty times, as if they were playing some boring game. He couldn't get rid of her, so he started to pull her hand, but how could she let go before breaking Asakura's hand?

As time passed, Ping Xin finally spoke again: "This is my own business. You can't help me... Let go."

The evening breeze blowing across the sea brings with it a cold and biting sigh. Even 100° blood will be cooled down little by little by it, just like a meteor streaking across the sky. No matter how bright and beautiful it was in the past, there will be a day when it will cool down. Otherwise, what awaits it is extinction in the friction and collision with the environment.

"Why...why are you afraid? Why can't you accept me? Even Higuchi Enka..."

After hearing Toru's mumbling, Pingxin finally turned around. If he left like this, she would definitely stand on the beach all night, right? Maybe she would do something impulsive.

If he hesitates when he should make a decision, he will suffer the consequences... Since procrastination has become impossible, what he should do is to completely cut off Asakura Toru's thoughts. Only in this way can he leave with peace of mind -

"Perhaps... it could be called the impotent rage of mediocrity?"

This lame excuse stunned Asakura Toru. You're just mediocre? She even thought of reasons like not being a good match, idol ethics, or your breasts and drumsticks not being big enough, but she never expected it to be this excuse.

"You're treating me like a fool again..."

"Sorry, sorry, let me explain..."

When he saw Toru's helpless laughter, Ping Xin subconsciously wanted to touch her head to comfort her, but his hand stopped in mid-air, and he couldn't stop laughing. This made him more intense.

"Are quick learners, a wealth of accumulated knowledge, and a small fortune some truly remarkable traits? Such people abound, but there has only ever been one, and only one, Asakura Toru in human history."

"Um......"

Hei Xin could use rhetoric to deceive, but he didn't want to lie. Besides, if he just relied on lies to get by, he'd be exposed sooner or later. He wanted to accept Asakura Toru, but not now. Therefore, how to reject him while leaving some room for maneuver was the key this time.

I have to explain everything clearly so that she will give up, but I can't let her become autistic and affect her future life. I really am a person who will ask for trouble -

"What about 'fear'? Why is it afraid of me?" Asakura Toru continued to pursue.

Do you want me to say that this is to avoid a situation where she disappears right after agreeing to a relationship, which in Toru's opinion is like saying she hates her?

"None of my actions have any effect on you. It's like they're seeping through you. Even when I revealed I already have a girlfriend and am currently dating multiple people, the same thing happens. If you love me, why are you so indifferent? If you don't, why do you show such intimacy and trust?

Humanity's greatest fear always comes from the unknown, the unquantifiable. And I, Asakura Toru, am afraid of you right now. Everything people do needs a reason, whether it's superficial or buried deep within logic. My reasons for approaching you are, first, that I can't beat you, so I join you, and second, that buy one get two free is a great deal. But why did Toru fall for me?

Act, keep acting, and increase the intensity!

"I don't know... But if there must be a reason (opportunity), it must be because you found the transparent me and were the first person in the world to see "me"."

Asakura revealed a smile that he was very familiar with. The curvature of the smile was the same as usual, but it was so breathtakingly beautiful.

"..."

I can't go on acting!!!

Asakura couple: Toru, you are such a filial daughter!

Chapter 4000: Liar ()

"I can't restrain your lonely soul, nor do I want to be your restraint, so let's part ways amicably..."

No!

I can't say that. If I say that, what if we really break up? I don't want to be blamed, even if the chance is only 1%! As someone who has read countless books, I naturally know that a broken heart is a good opportunity for a yellow-haired man to take advantage of the situation, not to mention this is the East Country!

hateful......

If I hadn't considered the issue of the pre-war flag, I would have agreed to it readily. Why am I still being so hesitant here, pretending to be a virgin?