The social phobia substitute will not dream of the band girl

His body was covered with cracks, and his insides looked like minced meat, a horrible sight. Only his heart and brain were still functioning normally, but they were also gradually approaching their limits. He was in such a miserable state now.

But he smiled...

He smiled as if he didn't feel the pain or the feeling of powerlessness.

"In the end, I'm the one being taken care of. This doesn't qualify me as a sensei (teacher)—adults are supposed to protect children from the elements and pave the way for them!"

The diary at his feet fluttered in the wind, and the disk inside it also followed the push of fate and responded to the call of gravity, rolling onto Ping Xin's body.

At this moment, Pingxin is no longer afraid, and the teacher is no longer confused.

"Go ahead and believe it, [I]..."

To believe——

Believe in yourself, and believe in those who have always loved you and watched over you!

*Music by LetitBurn

Chapter 4000 I Am Me ()

Who is this "I" after all? And why did I come to this world?

After inserting the disk containing the memories of his other self, Ping Xin fell into deep doubt. He had always been a person who loved to think, but he just liked to talk nonsense.

Every cause has its effect. No matter who he is, he believes that everything in this world should have an initial cause. Then what about the cause of the existence of [Ping Xin]?

Ultimately, the question is why did this individual, Ping Xin, appear in this world? And why has he worked so hard until now?

success?

In the era before Ping Xin, the basic requirements for a successful man were still a house, a car, and a woman, all of which could be easily obtained with money. Although he didn't collect any luxury goods, he had tried the "basic pastimes" of smoking, drinking, and golf.

Richer people, on the other hand, pursue nothing more than bigger houses, more expensive cars, and the perceived "face" of alcohol and cigarettes. The only constant, it seems, is their love for beautiful women. Ultimately, it all comes down to money, so the sole purpose of everyone's existence is to make money, make money, and make more money.

Can......

Is this what I, we humans, live for?

Pingxin hated playing along, so he preferred ordering takeout to going to the club. It wasn't surprising; Ren always needed to vent, whether it was emotional or physical. He knew when to stop, though; it was just a pastime, after all, something he'd do once or twice a month.

Apart from the doorman and the occasional customers he had to see, these were the passers-by who had left the deepest impression on him. But what did they leave behind? Nothing more than some tissues, some inflated balloons, and a note with alphanumeric characters and special effects in the notes.

A transaction is just a transaction. In this field, everyone has the potential to become a devil, and the first step is to not regard any existence other than yourself as a human being. Only looking at interests without humanity is the fastest way to enter this world.

But sometimes...really just sometimes...even he who never daydreams would see light at night and "remember" some scenes that might have touched him. Some were nightmares that he had long since overcome and could now look on with indifference, while others were memories that he couldn't understand at all.

For example, during high school calisthenics, their eyes met. He still vaguely remembered a girl who wasn't particularly beautiful but who evoked a sense of innocence. The sun was glaring that day, and she was wearing a white school T-shirt and a ponytail. Their gazes met in mid-air, then separated, but nothing happened afterward.

If he had the chance, he'd really like to ask her name. It wasn't that there was any special meaning, but I was just curious about it after occasionally encountering it in my dreams over the years. He thought he had long since left everything in the past behind on his way forward, but now it seemed that some "remnants" were still lingering there.

However, this situation is still very rare. Most of the time, he imagines his parents who abandoned him, his classmates who looked down on him in middle school, and people who looked down on him for having no background and capital after entering society. It is probably out of resentment, or he subconsciously wants to prove something.

But that doesn't matter anymore...

In his previous life, he never truly found anything worth sacrificing until his death. Even music was just a passion and a hobby. In the end, he still didn't get that elusive love, and could only follow the crowd to chase the numbers on his balance.

He actually has no interest in money. Apart from occasionally trying something new out of curiosity, he rarely spends or shops. He prefers to reward himself with a good meal rather than luxury goods. So why does he have to keep making money?

He thought about this question for a long time, even when he was in the BA world (first round) and reborn in the main world.

Money itself has no value; it's a system that relies on credit. If non-circulating precious metals like gold and silver still have real value, then paper money will be nothing more than a piece of bacteria-ridden waste paper in the end times.

Money itself has no value, but it represents a resource, representing how much manpower you can mobilize in this society, just like a gambler's chips.

The reason why he keeps earning these chips and piling them up high may be very simple. He just wants to be the one standing on a high place and see what those seemingly great guys are doing in their daily lives.

But the main reason may be to become a "master" that anyone can see at a glance -

Although he did not come into this world voluntarily, he still wanted to do something and be remembered, and for this he needed to climb up and become "successful."

But what exactly is success?

He cast his eyes on society, and the ultimate goal was money. No matter what anyone said, money was essential, so he studied hard, worked hard, and worked hard to hone his skills.

Finally he had money, lots of money, but it still didn't seem right.

This place is empty...

One day he finally realized that he had been fooled, but what good was that? Everything was a foregone conclusion, and he had become a "successful dragon", no longer a fragile human being.

After that, he was lost for a long time, thinking a lot, but ultimately he gave up. He even started smoking and drinking, chronic suicidal behaviors he had previously despised, saying they had no benefits and only harmed the body. He lived a life of drunkenness and despair. The worst moment was when he collapsed on the table during a video call with a client and almost couldn't open his eyes again.

Death is the best teacher for mankind. Ping Xin learned a lot in this course that everyone will encounter. From then on, he began to seek a method of "safe burning" and finally picked up the guitar again.

The only thing he can do towards this world that brought him here without permission and now ignores him is to complain. This is the only thing he can do besides making money and being confused.

After paying off his parents' debt of gratitude for raising him, all he had was a small villa with a recording studio (purchased in installments) and enough food to eat all he wanted at fast food restaurants. He saved all the money he had left, along with a will that stipulated that if he died, he would give the money to someone for charity.

Rather than having something come out of nowhere after death, it is better to prepare it in advance and then just burn the body casually. He does not have any pursuit. He is not one of those people who have done a lot of bad things and need to find some monks, Taoist priests, or bishops to pray for his soul after death.

Even if good people cannot go to heaven, it doesn’t matter where they go, the world is hell.

The reason for not donating one's body is, firstly, to want to die intact, and secondly, to simply not trust the moral standards of others. There are many people in the so-called upper class who have health problems, and they are still alive today thanks to those who "voluntarily" donated their bodies.

He doesn't like being represented, nor does he like being volunteered.

Although he didn't have the harmful effects of alcohol and tobacco, he didn't care about his health, as he had no ambitions. He didn't care about his health, because there was nothing in the world worth his attention. Fried chicken and beer, spicy hot pot, and all-nighters—for someone who didn't want to live much longer, he tried to enjoy life.

Although it cannot be said that he was celebrating his youth and enjoying life, those less than two years were indeed the happiest days of his life.

Now that he had said that, he remembered that he had died suddenly. That was a commonplace death these days; his arrival was like his birth, with no one regretting or caring.

There was no rope in the world that could tie him down, so the balloon returned to the sky.

"What a failed life..."

When the two memories began to merge, he had to face the first half of his life as [Ping Xin], even though there was happiness and beauty in the "second half of the story"... No, it was precisely because the days that followed were so happy that he seemed even more of a failure before.

"But I'm no longer confused... After resolving this last piece of 'past', my life will just begin!"

What kind of person is Ping Xin in the eyes of others?

That kind of thing is fine!

But now I just want to do the thing in front of me well, and not let the yearning and the [cause] that I have found with great difficulty disappear again!

"If I must die, then so be it, but I must complete everything I need to do before I die. Regardless, I've achieved far more success in this life than in my past. I've even accomplished many things I couldn't before, like having family, a loved one, and... a song that truly belongs to me!"

I didn't leave a will this time, after all, there are people waiting for me to come home. But...if anything were to happen, I still hope to leave them something to remember them by, like a song.

I don't want to be forgotten~~~~

Although the name of this song is not well thought out, the composition is a bit casual, and the lyrics seem awkward everywhere, and even the four parts of the song are four completely different styles, like a failed patchwork that cannot be copied clearly, it is a song (life) that truly belongs to me.

Maybe it's not that I don't have talent, it's just that I haven't understood my true feelings.

When I tried to write songs before, I wanted the belief and pride of Roselia, the passion and rock of Afterglow, the youth and dreams of Poppin'Party, the sparkle and sweetness of Pastel*Palettes, the laughter and vitality of Hello, Happy World!, the elegance and agility of Morfonica, the power and impact of RAISE A SUILEN...but the final semi-finished products never satisfied me.

At first I thought it was because I had no talent so I kept learning, but due to a certain opportunity I finally realized one thing: that is, if I stop at imitation, I will never be able to create a song that truly belongs to me in my entire life!

The song called "Spring Shadow" taught him this lesson and gave him the last piece of the puzzle during this period of self-lost.

Although he couldn't remember who composed and sang the song due to the impact of his memory, Ping Xin knew that the song must be the lead singer's inner cry, containing inner emotions that only she could sing.

Through this opportunity, Ping Xin finally realized that what he should do is not to think about how to create "music that belongs to me", but to work hard to conceive of using music to show his "true self".

Then came some things that happened naturally. What Pingxin never lacked was not theory or technology, but a heart that could face himself.

In this way, the thought body that had lost its memory created that song, and used it as an opportunity to re-establish contact with the original body. After returning to the original body, it stimulated its spirit to regain consciousness, thus getting another chance.

If I could go back, I'd like to find a chance to thank them in person. Even though the people who played Kasuga Shadow might not even know who Hirayuma is, I still owe them a favor.

"...I can already feel you guys right here."

Ping Xin clasped his hands together, his veins still bulging, but his eyes were clear, without any sadness, pain or fear, only relief and...

Determination.

"You...you clearly left, why did you come back?" The one who spoke at this time was Prana. The girl with gray hair and eyes asked in a low voice in the dark universe, just like the dark side of his heart.

"Teacher...you have obviously found happiness, why do you still want to fight?" This time it was Sand Wolf Baizi who spoke again, a girl who seemed to have grown a lot after "his" death and seemed to have abandoned her weak emotions.

"Yeah, why is that... I was thinking about this before—"

Ping Xin didn't open his mouth, because any movement would disrupt his fragile balance and put him, the planet under his feet, and the invisible souls of the students around him into an irretrievable situation.

But his "voice" when he answered was so resonant: "I will fight for the good of the past, for everything I once had, for my responsibility as a teacher, and for my beloved students, I will fight this battle to the death!"

Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!

Today, I, Teacher Kivotos, will change the destiny and bring happiness to all my students!!!

......

...

..

With the auditions lasting nearly three months, the popularity of the Bandoli competition has not decreased over time, but has gradually climbed to a new peak like the hot weather.

Only 169 of the 16 teams from all over the country can participate in the final elimination round, and only 16 of these 4 teams can enter the final finals.

"Boss, I haven't seen you in a while. I wonder if he'll be mad if we change the round of 8 from the original 16..."

"How could that be? After all, he gave us a certain degree of freedom to play our part, and the number of people this time is truly beyond imagination. A one-tenth chance of being selected is already low enough."

Two staff members preparing at the Tokyo Dome were talking to each other.

"Is there something beyond Boss's imagination?"

"Yeah, after all, the boss isn't a god—for example, the top eight he originally predicted... the seven local Tokyo bands were certainly in it, and he'd already made arrangements beforehand, but he had no idea about the last spot."

The second staff member pulled out a list of the winners Ping Xin had predicted in advance. Roselia, Afterglow, PPY (Poppin'Party), pasple (Pastel*Palettes), hhw (Hello, Happy World!), Morfonica, and RAS (RAISE A SUILEN) were all on it, and their rankings were exactly the same as he had predicted, except...

"I never thought that the four members of the idol group noctchill would actually compete as a band. Their playing skills and performance are so great! Now I'm going to become their fan."

"Yeah, it really was an accident~"

Chapter 4000 Endless Halo ()

*sh0ut, Hiroyuki Sawano

"Surprise... I never thought I would return to this world, and actually take the initiative to do such a good deed at the expense of myself for the benefit of others—"

The man who appeared behind Ping Xin looked to be in his late twenties. He had a handsome appearance but the dark circles under his eyes told us that he was not a good boy who would go to bed early and get up early every day.

He wore a pair of plain glasses that made him look more elegant, but there were some scratches on the lenses and the arms of the glasses had signs of being broken and repaired, making him look like a young teacher who had not yet gained enough experience and did not have much money.

"Yes, 'I', this is something I couldn't have anticipated... No, perhaps it is precisely because of this unexpectedness that we can create unexpected miracles—"

If there were sufficient light on Earth, we could infer from the absence of a shadow that the man with glasses standing behind was not a living person, and this is indeed the case.

That was also Ping Xin, the consciousness of the first round who died suddenly on Blue Star and came to the BA world as an old corpse.

Because the disc with his memories was inserted and the "two" failed to fully merge, he now appears with a split consciousness. However, this second personality that can use power has a domineering exclusive name in the Kaihu series -

God of War of Hell!

"But now, 'me', this power is still not enough. You haven't pushed it to its limit."

"I know, 'I'. In order to drive a stronger magnetic field force to restart the Earth beneath my feet, I need a stronger driving force, which is..."

More powerful emotional power.

Ping Xin closed his eyes and concentrated on feeling, and the memory of the long-dead "Old Corpse Ping Xin" floating behind him also understood and placed its hand on the back of his heart.

The diary left on the ground fluttered in the strong wind and then gradually disintegrated. Page after page of the diary, those emotional carriers that carried the old corpse's days and nights in the BA world, flew into the sky with the wind, came to the universe, and returned to [Ping Xin].

With each diary entry as a node, the old corpse, as the person involved, can better awaken the memories from the Disk, so that all the past joys, sorrows, anger and happiness can burst out together in this one-thousandth of a second.

Although Ping Xin was not involved in the incident, he had read the diary and the memories on the CD. Through his connection with the old corpse version of the God of Hell, he was able to "empathize".

If love is the strongest driving force, then his winning rate is 1000%!

"And today, I will fight that final battle—!"

In contrast to his determined voice, Ping Xin was actually relaxed. In this space, he was no longer bound by gravity, nor was he pressed by fate. Instead, he was a truly free soul.

His head is slightly lowered, as if he is bowing to fate, but the corners of his mouth are smiling, like a kind father. And when he opens his arms, we know what he is going to do. He is going to give the world a hug.

With the emergence of 99 horsepower of magnetic field force, the entire gray-white planet under his feet and other planets in the solar system gradually turned into some invisible dust, and merged into Ping Xin's body in the form of microscopic particles, along with countless invisible and untouchable student souls.

Everything was absorbed into Pingxin's body. At this moment, he was a "singularity" that could create a new universe after an explosion.