My youth story cannot be a knight war

【Thinking of the time when he made a mess in the home economics classroom, Zaimokuza couldn't help but burst into laughter, his eyes were nostalgic and gentle. 】

[He recounted the events that happened in the distant past one by one, like an elderly man recounting his past glory.]

[“After that, Yuigahama applied to join the club from Hiratsuka-sensei, and joined the Service Club. Thus, a four-member Service Club was born.”]

"A lot happened during that time. I helped Totsuka-san with her tennis training, and it somehow turned into a tennis match against the school's biggest star. I played cards with the guys in the gaming club who liked to use stripping as punishment, and in order to prevent Buchou and Yuigahama from embarrassing themselves, we lost so badly that we almost took off our underwear. In the end, we had to resort to almost cheating to turn the tables. I also received a request from Saki-san's brother to investigate Saki-san's absence from the house. We ended up secretly following her to gather information, and because of our suspicious behavior, we were mistaken for stalkers. Passersby called the police and took us to the police station. In the end, it was Hiratsuka-san who used her connections to get us out. Her expression at that time makes my hair stand on end just thinking about it now..."

[“Of course, not all of these things are good. We have quarreled and had estrangements because of this. We have also had the cold war with each other because of our different views and ideas on things. But... we are always able to reconcile in the end and return to that old empty classroom together, waiting for the next commission to come.”]

[“It was a really happy time.”]

[“So I’ve always been very thankful, thankful that I didn’t choose to be absent on the day of the entrance ceremony. Because of that, I had the opportunity to meet you guys, and I was able to join the Service Club, become friends with you, and the four of us stayed together noisily, causing one trouble after another for Ms. Hiratsuka… Although I feel sorry for her saying this, I’m really happy.”]

[“But sometimes, I can’t help but think about one thing - if I hadn’t chosen to attend the entrance ceremony that day, what kind of person would I be now?”]

[“…Have you ever thought about this, Hachiman?”]

【At the end of his speech, Zaimokuza turned his head and looked behind him, speaking softly.】

【“——”】

【Behind Zaimokuza, Hikigaya Hachiman appeared like a ghost and was quietly looking at his back without saying a word.】

[The familiar pure white door behind him slowly turned from virtual to real. Hikigaya Hachiman turned around, grasped the door handle, opened the door, and walked into it again, disappearing from Zaimokuza's sight.]

[He still said nothing.]

[“You really… don’t want to say a word.”]

【Zaimokuza sighed dejectedly and followed him again.】

Chiba Prefecture, Sobu High School, Service Club.

"So... the person we saved that day was Yuigahama? And the car owner who caused the accident was actually--"

Zaimokuza said in surprise, hesitated for a few seconds at the end of his words, and secretly turned his head to look at Yukinoshita Yukino behind him.

Yukinoshita Yukino felt his gaze, and for the first time she looked away guiltily, as she had always taken "integrity" and "correctness" as her motto.

"..."

In response to this, Hikigaya next to Zaimokuza also remained silent, and Yuigahama Yui, who was standing next to him, seemed to be hesitant to speak. She poked her fingertips with a panicked expression and lowered her head like a little girl who had made a mistake.

"Xiao Qi, um... I didn't mean to not tell you! It's just that when I first met you..."

"……It doesn't matter."

Hikigaya shook his head and spoke in a calm voice.

"Now I don't take this matter to heart anymore, and... I actually have a rough idea of ​​what's going on."

He glanced at Yukinoshita Yukino, who once again turned her eyes away unnaturally because of his gaze, and sighed silently.

Should I be angry that they had deceived me, or should I doubt our relationship during this period? Should I doubt that they were just making up for me and Zaimokuza out of guilt? Should I doubt that the "friendship" I felt during this period was just a "fake" created by an illusion?

If it were the me before, even if I wouldn't be angry about this, I would inevitably have doubts in my heart, and then, driven by this disappointment and doubt, I would drift away and eventually leave the Service Club.

But now...Hikigaya Hachiman put his hand on his chest, feeling the beating heart inside, closed his eyes and listened carefully to the echo of his heartbeat.

After a series of mishaps, something seemed to have changed in a corner of my heart, which was hard to explain.

Hikigaya didn't know whether this change was good or bad, but he felt... he seemed no longer as obsessed with the difference between "fake" and "real" as he was in the past.

True or false, it seems that it is no longer important to him.

The scenes of his interactions with Yukinoshita and others in the Service Club over the past few days flashed through his mind, flipping through them quickly like a book, and Hikigaya carefully felt the emotional changes engraved on the pages.

The throbbing he felt when interacting with these guys might really be partly a "fake" created by their guilt, but... it did touch his heart at some point.

——Brother, you have to learn how to get along with others. Don’t be so awkward and stubborn all the time. That may make you unable to even notice other people’s feelings.

——Because I have been worried. If you continue to be like this, I always think that once Komachi is gone one day, no one will understand you like I do.

——Sometimes, it’s not that hard to accept to change for the people who care about you... Hehe, Komachi got a high score for that sentence just now!

His sister's smiling face suddenly reappeared in his memory, and the words she once said to him also echoed in his somewhat confused heart, guiding his soul like a beacon.

The corners of Hikigaya Hachiman's mouth slowly curled up slightly, and he lowered his hand that was covering his left chest.

...Perhaps, what you said is indeed correct, Komachi.

"Yukinoshita."

Hikigaya spoke softly to Yukinoshita Yukino, who was slightly stunned and then replied with a somewhat awkward expression.

"…What's going on? Hikigaya-san."

"I, forgive you."

"—"

Hearing his words, Yukinoshita Yukino's expression was stunned for a moment, and she couldn't help but open her eyes wide and look at Hikigaya, as if she met him for the first time.

Hikigaya also raised his head without avoiding it, and the two pairs of eyes with different pupil colors looked at each other quietly, as if they could see through each other's inner thoughts through each other's eyes.

"--snort."

Yukinoshita Yukino's fair cheeks suddenly turned red, and she turned her head to look directly at Hikigaya with her navy blue eyes.

"Cricket, a student who is younger than Penguin, actually dares to say that he forgives me? It's really a cold joke that makes people laugh... How did you say that sentence? Oh, right, this move is really the most ridiculous thing in the world."

Having said this, she paused, then spoke softly.

"...But out of kindness, I will accept your forgiveness, and you should be grateful."

"Ah... Then I really want to thank the noble Miss Yukinoshita for giving me this opportunity to express my magnanimity to you."

Hikigaya's eyes turned back to their previous dead fish eyes, and he even picked his nose with his right little finger with a look of disdain, tilted his head and pouted his lips and said.

"That's the love that a perfect person should show to a disabled person. You don't need to thank me so much. You can repay this insignificant favor by working like a slave for me."

"...You, woman, are really——"

The two of them started arguing again, refusing to admit defeat, and finally each of them snorted coldly and turned to look in opposite directions.

But perhaps neither of them noticed that a smile had inadvertently climbed onto the corners of their mouths.

““Great? Huh?””

Zaimokuza and Yuigahama Yui both breathed a sigh of relief, then were stunned at the same time and turned to look at each other.

The next moment, they laughed happily together, and the invisible barrier that had always stood between the four of them disappeared at this moment.

Looking at them like this, Hayato Hayama couldn't help but raise the corner of his mouth, but after sweeping his eyes over Yukinoshita Yukino, his eyes couldn't help but dim, and his smile slowly disappeared.

Looking at the four noisy people, somehow, he felt a rare sense of envy at this moment.

At the same time, another thought came to Hayato Hayama's mind.

“…My future self.”

Thinking of "himself" who has never appeared in any video or on the screen, Hayato Hayama suddenly felt anxious and worried. He wanted to know how he would live in the future, but he couldn't help feeling a little fear and uneasiness about the unknown in his heart.

What kind of person will I be in the future?

Have I finally become someone who can face my own heart and no longer need to live as a coward wearing a mask like I do now?

……

[When I stepped into the open door, the light was still as bright as before. ]

【But Zaimokuza already had experience, he placed his arms across his eyes to block the white light that stung his eyeballs, and only lowered his raised hands slowly after the light faded.】

[The scene that appeared this time was very different from the previous two times. ]

[He was now in a dark forest. Tall, dense and endless trees covered everything he could see. The intertwined shadows of the trees cast on the ground under the cold moonlight were like some kind of demon stretching its limbs. The leaves dancing in the wind made a whirring sound, which was the demon's breath.]

[A full moon hangs high in the sky, casting a desolate and cold light on the earth. ]

[“Here, I remember it was… in the forest of Chiba Village?”]

[Zaimokuza looked at the cold and dim forest, thinking about searching his memory, and then his expression suddenly froze. ]

[“Chiba Village? Is that the summer camp? I remember that time——”]

[“——Really? How did you come to such a remote place by yourself?”]

[A helpless and complaining voice interrupted Zaimokuza's thoughts, causing him to look back subconsciously. ]

……

[Snap! ]

[Zaimokuza stretched out his hand and waved away the trees that were blocking the road ahead. He couldn't help swallowing his saliva as he looked at the still dark forest. He couldn't help but feel a little scared and nervous in his heart.]

[It is hard for people who have not experienced the feeling of being lost in a dark and uninhabited forest to understand.]

[In this extreme silence, your ears will have some kind of perverse illusion, and you will feel that there seems to be some strange sound echoing in the dark forest. If you stay there for a long time, you may even feel that there is some kind of sight hiding in the dark and spying on you. ]

[Finally, the lost will feel as if there are multiple black shadows walking silently around them in the darkness, as if countless predators are treating them as prey, with scarlet eyes filled with endless malice and greed.]

This is a fear etched deep within human genes, an innate terror passed down through our DNA after our ancestors witnessed their companions being brutally devoured by predators hidden in the jungle. It is simply unavoidable.

[If a person gets lost in the forest for a long time, he will eventually go crazy, or at worst be left with some kind of psychological trauma.]

【Fortunately, Zaimokuza is not alone. 】

[“Are you sure you took this road before? Did you see it correctly?”]

[A pair of small arms wrapped around his neck made it difficult for him to breathe. Zaimokuza couldn't help but twist his neck. The arms seemed to sense what he meant and relaxed the hug.]

【“…It should be here.”】

[A dull and weak voice came from behind Zaimokuza, with a hint of sobs still lingering in the voice.]

【"should?"】

[“I was so scared at the time that I didn’t look at the road…”]

[Zaimokuza's face suddenly fell, and he felt that he might not be able to walk out of this forest tonight.]

[But in order not to let his negative emotions affect the person behind him, he slowed down his tone and spoke softly.]

[“It’s okay. It’s not your fault. You don’t have to feel guilty.”]

【“…”】

[The person behind him didn't say anything, but Zaimokuza's eyes couldn't help but twitch. He felt a sticky and wet feeling coming from his neck.]

【According to his experience, it was either tears or snot. 】

[…Zaimokuza could only pray that it wasn't the latter, and continued to comfort the other party.]

[“Okay, stop crying. If you continue crying you will turn into a little cat.”]

[“I promise you, if we can get out safely, we can find those bad guys and make them apologize to you!”]

【"suck?"】

[A long snorting sound came from behind him, and Zaimokuza's face began to turn green this time. He felt that he would have to wash his beloved windbreaker again when he returned.]

【"……real?"】

[A small head wearing a pink flannel hat popped out from behind him, and a pair of large eyes with red corners looked at Zaimokuza's profile, and then spoke dully.]

……

[“That child——”]

【Zaimokuza stood aside, looking at the little girl carried on his past self's back, his eyes slightly widened.】

[——A lot of time has passed. The girl who used to be shorter than his waist has now grown into a beautiful and slender girl. Even Zaimokuza has gotten used to her current posture and tone.]

[But this also made him almost forget what she looked like when he first met her. ]

【“——Stay in the United States?”】

16. The Door of Memory: The Promise Witnessed by the Full Moon (6K)

"Eh? I..."

Because of the stunning dormitory environment of her future "self", she was privately teased and talked about by her classmates, and she was socially dead, which caused her whole body to turn pale. When she saw her "self" who was exactly the same as her present self appear on the screen, she was stunned at first, and then her big eyes were immediately filled with surprise.