My youth story cannot be a knight war

[“What else happened besides that, did it?”]

【"……Um."】

【Zaimokuza was silent for a while, then nodded slightly.】

[“I… watched a policeman die in front of me.”]

[“I could have blocked the attack and saved him, but I subconsciously dodged No. 21’s attack, which resulted in his death.”]

【"……Yeah?"】

[Kousaka Kyosuke stood by the warehouse window, watching the police and police cars coming and going outside, without turning his head, and spoke softly.]

【“…More than that.”】

【Speaking of this, Zaimokuza clenched his hands on his knees into fists and lowered his head deeply. Kousaka Kyousuke turned his head and saw Zaimokuza's mouth open with his teeth clenched.】

[“I got scared when I was fighting No. 21.”]

[“When I was defeated in the battle with it in purple form, I was not only afraid of its strength, but I even thought of running away... Even the purple form turned back to red due to my inner fear.”]

[“…I lost to No. 21 not only physically, but also mentally.”]

[“This is the first time I’ve lost so miserably.”]

【“…”】

[This time it was Kousaka Kyosuke who was silent. After listening to what Zaimokuza said, he said nothing and just turned his head and continued to look out the window. ]

【Zaimokuza was unable to say anything else after he finished speaking, and he also sat on the chair, looking down at his soaked white sneakers.】

[The atmosphere in the warehouse fell silent for a moment. The two people, one standing and one sitting, did not speak, each immersed in their own thoughts.]

[After a long time, the almost frozen atmosphere in the room was broken. ]

【The one who broke it was Kousaka Kyousuke. 】

【“So, Zaimokuza.”】

[“Are you feeling ashamed and regretful? Regret for the fear you created in the battle?”]

[“——Or are you regretting that you wore that belt and became Kuuga? Because you felt fear for the first time in this battle, so you feel that you are not worthy of wearing that belt, right?”]

[Kousaka Kyousuke turned around and walked over to Zaimokuza, who was sitting on the only chair in the room with his head bowed. His deep black eyes looked down at him from above, with some inexplicable meaning in his eyes.]

[“…I don’t know. Maybe, maybe not.”]

[Zaimokuza still lowered his head and responded in a dull voice.]

[“At that time, if I didn’t wear that belt, not only me, but also many people including the minister who was there would have died. In fact, I had no choice.”]

[“But the moment I put on that belt and transformed into the red form for the first time, I really felt like I was omnipotent. I felt that I could change all the bad things, prevent all the tragedies... and wipe away the tears that everyone might shed because of the unconfirmed life form.”]

[“Perhaps I am too arrogant. I think since I have this power, I must stop those guys from doing evil. But even if I can defeat the enemies that appear every time, people will still die. But at least every time after I arrive, no one will be sacrificed, and I can save everyone present.”]

[“…But this time, not only did I fail to save anyone, I couldn’t even avenge them…I even wanted to run away when facing the enemy’s overwhelming force, and in the end, I lost.”]

[“Am I really worthy of using this belt?”]

【Zaimokuza opened his palms and raised them in front of his eyes. His eyes were filled with confusion, which was rare. His usual confidence and vigor disappeared from his face. He was as lost as a child who had lost his way.】

[“You sound pretty arrogant.”]

【After hearing what he said, Kousaka Kyosuke not only did not comfort Zaimokuza, but instead stabbed him with an expressionless face. 】

【“…”】

[After hearing this, Zaimokuza, who thought that Kousaka Kyousuke also agreed that he was not worthy of the belt, put down his raised hands and pursed his lips, not knowing what to say.]

[“——But I never thought that you were unworthy of this belt. On the contrary, I thought that the person wearing this belt was you, and that might be the luckiest outcome for everyone.”]

【"?"】

【As a result, Kousaka Kyosuke's next sentence took a sudden turn, causing Zaimokuza to slightly widen his eyes, raise his face with disheveled hair, and look at him with a somewhat surprised look.】

[Kousaka Kyousuke stared at Zaimokuza's confused eyes and continued speaking calmly.]

[“The reason I say you are arrogant is not because you wear this belt, but because you want to take all the responsibility, even the deaths of those victims, on yourself, as if the main reason those people died was because you couldn’t save them. This is a very self-centered and arrogant idea.”]

[“You seem to think of yourself as an omnipotent god… but that’s not the case.”]

【“Zaimokuza, who do you think you are?”】

[“Eh? I…”]

【Zaimokuza never expected that Kousaka Kyousuke would ask such a philosophical question as "Who are you" at this time. His mind was not able to react for a moment, and he opened and closed his mouth but didn't know what to say?】

[“Then let me ask you this: who are you in the eyes of many people outside now?”]

[After hearing what Kousaka Kyousuke said, Zaimokuza thought for a moment, then spoke with some uncertainty.]

[“Unconfirmed life form… Number 4?”]

【"Then what?"】

[“Uh… a strange life form with power beyond that of humans?”]

[Zaimokuza thought about what was said about him in the recent news and newspapers, and spoke hesitantly.]

【“And then what?”】

【"Um……"】

[Kousaka Kyousuke continued to ask, but Zaimokuza was completely speechless and didn't know what to say.]

"Then let me rephrase the question, Zaimokuza. Who do you think you are in the eyes of me and others who know you?"

[“I am…what?”]

[After hearing what Kousaka Kyousuke said this time, Zaimokuza seemed to have grasped something, but it seemed that the answer came to his lips but he couldn't say it, perhaps he didn't know how to say it. ]

[The next moment, Kousaka Kyosuke gave the answer for him.]

[“In the eyes of those who know you well, you are not some unconfirmed life form number four, but just Zaimokuza Yoshiki.”]

[“Similarly, in my eyes, even if you put on that belt and have the ability to transform into Kuuga, you are still just Zaimokuza Yoshiki, just an ordinary person.”]

【Kousaka Kyousuke spoke seriously to Zaimokuza, whose expression was stunned by his words, and his voice was full of unquestionable certainty.】

[“Zaimokuza Yoshiteru, even if you have the power to rival those unconfirmed life forms after your transformation, you are different from those guys who regard human life as nothing and kill wantonly. You are not a "monster" without humanity, nor are you an omnipotent "god" who can change everything. ”]

[“You are an ordinary person, just like me and all the other people in this world, an ordinary “human being”.”]

【“And the so-called ‘human’ is a weak and imperfect life.”】

[“In life, there are birth, aging, sickness and death. There are also things that we make mistakes about, things that we cannot do anything about, things that we cannot accomplish, things that we suffer from, and similarly… there are also people that we cannot save no matter how hard we try.”]

[Speaking of this, Kousaka Kyosuke raised his palms and opened them in front of his eyes, shielding Zaimokuza's face in front of him, and also shielding his own gloomy eyes at this moment. ]

[The open palm is clean, each palm line is clearly visible, and each finger has thick calluses, which are the marks of holding a gun for many years. ]

[There was nothing else, but at this moment, Kousaka Kyosuke saw that his palms were covered with hot blood. The color of the blood was extremely red, and it was so hot that it seemed to burn him.]

[He gently closed his eyes and clenched his open hands and put them down. When he opened his eyes again, he met Zaimokuza's eyes, as if he wanted to see through all the emotions hidden deep in his heart through his eyes, making Zaimokuza subconsciously avoid Kousaka Kyosuke's eyes that seemed to be able to see through people's hearts.]

[“Zaimokuza, you said you were scared when you were fighting No. 21, right?”]

【“…”】

【Zaimokuza didn't know how many times he had said something wrong today. He looked at Kousaka Kyousuke standing in front of him, lowered his eyes and said nothing, but this was also equivalent to tacitly agreeing with the other party's words.】

[I did feel scared, that’s a fact.]

[“To be honest, you don’t need to feel guilty or blame yourself for this, because… I would also feel scared when facing those unconfirmed life forms.”]

[“…Eh? Mr. Kousaka?”]

【Zaimokuza looked up in astonishment, and looked at Kousaka Kyousuke, who said this calmly, completely breaking his impression of him.】

[Would Kousaka Kyosuke be afraid? Would the ace of the aces in the Metropolitan Police Department be afraid? 】

[If you tell others about this, no one will believe it. In the eyes of the Metropolitan Police Department, he is the most capable and bravest policeman. When encountering unidentified life forms, he always rushes to the front and protects many lives, including his colleagues. Every time you see his back in a battle, you can feel at ease, and even morale will be boosted.]

[In the eyes of the public, Kousaka Kyosuke is one of the strongest shields for the people, a synonym for justice and bravery. He has always fearlessly fought those cold-blooded and brutal monsters with his life and guns as weapons. Hesitation and fear are two strange words to him, and they are completely unrelated.]

[In Zaimoku's eyes, Kousaka Kyousuke is the most trustworthy comrade and friend. He can provide him with the best support in every battle with unconfirmed life forms. There were many times when Zaimoku might have died in the hands of some enemies if he hadn't intervened without fear of life and death. You can always trust Kousaka Kyousuke. ]

[But a man who is worthy of the title of "hero" in everyone's eyes...actually said that he would be afraid when facing unconfirmed life forms? ]

[This is completely nonsense. After all, that is Kousaka Kyosuke, a hero recognized by everyone! ]

[Shouldn't a hero be brave and invincible and not afraid of death? How can a hero be afraid? ]

[“Isn’t it incredible? Did you think I wasn’t afraid at all?”]

【Kousaka Kyousuke saw through Zaimokuza's thoughts at the moment and said with a smile.】

【"Um!"】

【Zaimokuza nodded solemnly, thinking that what Kousaka Kyousuke said was absolutely correct. He had never thought that Kousaka Kyousuke would be afraid, and even felt that having such an idea was an insult to him.】

[“But you’re wrong, Zaimokuza. I’ll be scared… Do you know why?”]

[“The answer is simple, because I am also a ‘human’, and humans naturally have the emotion of fear, and I have never been a hero.”]

[“Every time I fight with unidentified life forms, I feel scared. I’m scared that I’ll die at the hands of these monsters. I’m scared that I’ll never be able to return to my home again. I’m scared that I’ll never be able to see my family again. I’m scared that I won’t be able to see my sister happy. I’m scared of how my family will be hit when they hear the news of my death. I’m scared that my family will cry in front of the grave with my name on it. I’m scared—”]

[Kousaka Kyousuke raised a finger in front of Zaimokuza every time he said a word that started with "fear", until he finally stopped after all the fingers on both palms were raised.]

[He looked at Zaimokuza, whose expression had become stunned, and his face was full of helplessness. ]

[“From the very beginning, the things that Kousaka Kyosuke was afraid of were more than the number of his ten fingers. I won’t tell you about the other things he was afraid of, because if I told you, you probably wouldn’t believe it.”]

[“Mr. Kosaka… if you are so scared, why do you still… still choose to fight those guys?”]

[Zaimokuza couldn't calm down for a long time. He looked at the young man who used to be very familiar to him but now seemed a little strange to him, and couldn't help but ask his doubts. ]

[Since fighting against unconfirmed life forms would cause so many things that frightened him to become reality, why did this man never choose to escape? He even charged to the front line in every battle? His every move completely contradicted what he said.]

[At this moment, Zaimokuza was eager to know this, he wanted to know the answer. ]

[Kousaka Kyousuke spoke, and his slow voice sounded like a huge bell in Zaimokuza's ears, shaking his brain.]

【“Because I can’t escape.”】

[“If I run away, then the thing I’m afraid of may become someone else’s reality.”]

[“And the reason I became a policeman is because I wanted to protect the citizens. I didn’t want them to suffer the reality of what I was afraid of. This was Kyosuke Kosaka’s original wish and the source of his journey.”]

[“Every time I feel scared and lost, I remember where I started from. Every time I am able to overcome the confusion and keep moving forward.”]

【Kousaka Kyousuke stood up, looked at Zaimokuza, and said sincerely.】

[“Zaimokuza, as human beings, we cannot be perfect in everything. There will definitely be times when we are powerless. Confusion and frustration, even regret and pain, will always accompany us every moment on the road of life and will become roadblocks at any time.”]

[“But we can at least do our best, overcome our confusion and fear, step over the stones that block our way, continue to move forward into the future, and fight for the things we believe in.”]

[“I will continue to do what I can for the things I believe in and care about, and I believe that you will be able to overcome the current obstacles and defeat No. 21. Just like every battle before, I believe you will win.”]

"Zaimokuza, if you're still confused and afraid, then think more about why you're fighting and recall the source of your own struggle."

【Click.】

[After saying this, Kousaka Kyosuke opened the entrance to the warehouse behind him, and before stepping out of the door, he turned his head again to look at Zaimokuza who was sitting in a daze on the chair, then closed the door and left without looking back.]

【Listening to the footsteps getting farther and farther away, Zaimokuza looked down at his hands in a daze. His palms kept opening and closing in front of his eyes. The skin on each finger was white, transparent and smooth. It was not at all like the hands of an adventurer, but more like the fingers of a pianist.】

[“My… source?”]

52. Awakening of the Mind (Two in One)

Chiba Prefecture, Chiba Benbun High School, health room.

"Has my future self become so eloquent?"

Kyosuke Kousaka moved a table to block the door of the health room to prevent those who discovered that he and the future "self" in the video were the same person. He sat on the table and looked at "himself" in the video with some surprise as he turned around and walked out.

He had never thought that he actually had such a talent. He could play the role of a caring grandfather who comforted the protagonist after he encountered setbacks in various heroic stories. He had to say that this feeling was quite wonderful.

However, Kyosuke Kousaka soon wrinkled his eyelashes in confusion, his eyes somewhat puzzled.

Why did the "self" in the video just now see the illusion that his palms were covered in blood?

Is that blood your own, or someone else's?

【Tokyo City, Wakaba Ward, Wakaba Kindergarten. 】