The mediocre trainer doesn't want to reopen

Luduo, the "Emperor" of Tresen College, seemed to live in the student union during this month, dealing with all the affairs of the student union intensively every day, as if he wanted to completely drown his time and energy with these affairs.

In fact, ever since he failed to confess his love to Kitano that day, Luduo has been in such a state of self-decadence... No, it is not appropriate to describe it as decadent. It should be said that he has entered a rather crazy working mode.

Someone once analyzed that men and women behave differently after a breakup, with men often becoming depressed and unable to recover from the feelings of loss and frustration for a long time. Clearly, Kitano has already fallen into this category.

After a breakup, most women will first show extraordinary anger, followed by an emotional breakdown, and then... they will enter a paranoid state of self-improvement, becoming increasingly stubborn, and then gradually return to normal.

As for Rudolph's performance over the past month... well, in the one or two days after her confession was rejected, Rudolph was indeed furious, scaring everyone in the student union so much that no one dared to mess with her.

Now Rudolph has obviously entered the final stage, using the huge work pressure to force himself to exhaust his spirit again and again, leaving him with no energy to think about other things.

But... this situation has been going on for a month... but Rudolph doesn't seem to have come out of this depression and loss.

Rudolph was busy all night again. During this time, Qicao and Bairen were given a day off by her. She took care of all the affairs by herself all day long. She slept when she was tired and called the bodyguard to bring her food when she was hungry.

In short, no one should disturb her. As long as she can be alone for a while, she doesn't want to care about anything else.

During this time, Rudolph's mental state had been declining, but she hadn't even considered maintaining her condition. Today should have been the same day as it had been for the past month.

She was tired and fell directly on the sofa in the student union, wanting to sleep until the next day. During this time, Qi Cao would just leave all the affairs and documents at the door and let Rudolph deal with them the next day.

Qi Cao had been worried about Rudolph's condition some time ago because of this situation, but seeing that Rudolph seemed to be in high spirits every day, she had to suppress her thoughts.

Today, Rudolph was sleeping soundly on the sofa in the student union, but his cell phone beside him suddenly vibrated, which woke Rudolph, who had been mentally weak recently.

Looking at the glowing phone, Rudolph, weakened by mental fatigue and increasingly irritable, couldn't control his temper. He picked up the phone and, without even checking the caller's name, immediately cursed as soon as the call was connected: "Who is this? Calling at this hour? Don't you need to sleep?"

"You're still as grumpy as ever, Rudolph."

On the other end of the phone, Rudolph felt a familiar voice, a voice that symbolized speed, which sobered her up a bit. However, that bit of clarity didn't calm Rudolph's tone at all; instead, it became even more agitated.

"Old lady, why are you calling so late at night? What's the matter?"

"Is this your attitude towards Grandmother's concern, Rudolph?"

The Speed ​​Symbol on the other end of the line was also helpless. How could this child, who was so close to her in the past, become like this after growing up? Could it be that their Symbol family's education was a failure? Rudolph was like this, and so was Sirius.

However, the Speed ​​Symbol had no idea that, in Rudolph's mind, now that his memory had been restored, she was already no better than a villain. How could she possibly have a kind word for the man who had been one of the "culprits" who had led her trainer to his own death?

"If you cared about me, you wouldn't have called so late, old woman."

"I heard you've been locked up in the student union for a while now?" The Speed ​​Symbol immediately got to the point, addressing Rudolph with the concern of a grandmother, "Are you alright? Exhausting yourself like this isn't a good thing."

"I can make my own decisions about my own affairs." Rudolph's eyes flashed with sadness, but he quickly regained his composure and said calmly, "I'm already an independent adult. So, my dear grandmother, if you only want to take care of my health, then I'm going to sleep."

"Okay, hang up. You won't regret it if you hang up." The speed symbol on the other end of the phone laughed out of anger when she heard what he said. She now regretted that she had gone to see Kitano specifically for her granddaughter.

However, she still controlled her temper, perhaps because she felt that if she missed this opportunity, her granddaughter might never be able to reconcile with her in her lifetime.

Or perhaps he felt...his granddaughter really needed someone who could keep her in check. The Speed ​​Symbol suppressed his temper and said calmly, "You don't want to get back together with that kid called Kitano Ryuichi? I just met him not long ago, and I have some news about what he thinks of you."

"!" Just before Rudolph was about to hang up the phone, the words that symbolized speed made her brain go blank. Almost in an instant, an ecstatic expression appeared on her face, and she immediately picked up the phone again.

"Grandma—Grandmother, what did you say?!"

"..." That's a quick change of address. It seems like in your eyes, I, your grandmother, am not as good as the man you like, right? The Speed ​​Symbol was speechless for a moment. However, facing the Luduo Symbol, who suddenly became ecstatic, the Speed ​​Symbol twitched his lips and said calmly, "Are you anxious now? I don't want to talk anymore. I'm hanging up."

"No! Please don't! Grandmother! Please forgive me!"

When Luduo heard the speed symbol say this, he almost burst into tears on the spot. He clutched the phone tightly with both hands and said anxiously with a tearful tone, "Grandmother, please forgive me. I shouldn't have been so mean to you."

"But please, please tell me about Kitano, I beg you..."

"After all these years, this is the first time you've begged me."

And hearing Rudolph's tearful voice on the other end of the phone, Speed ​​Symbol's heart, which originally wanted to tease his granddaughter, softened in an instant.

It's said that grandparents love their grandchildren the most, and this is also true for the Speed ​​Symbol. Although Rudolph became increasingly disrespectful to her as he grew older, and was even kicked out of the house for it, no matter what, she was still his granddaughter.

So, with Rudolph's tone softening, the symbol of speed didn't keep him in suspense and spoke;

"Today, I went to watch the debut match of a horse girl from Kitano's team. I made a special trip to ask him how he felt about you."

"Although he seemed very cautious at first, he at least asked the question - that guy still likes you."

"You don't have to worry about that. Even though that guy didn't accept your confession, it doesn't mean that he likes you. On the contrary, it's because he likes you that he feels he's not worthy of you."

"I already knew this."

Upon hearing this, the light in Rudolph's eyes brightened for a moment, then slowly faded. She tried to hold back her tears, her voice choking as she spoke, "But... he and I can't be together... I can't change myself."

"Silly girl, as long as you want to change, you can always do it. You just don't have the motivation."

The symbol of speed also revealed Rudolph's fear and anxiety. He said calmly, "From childhood to adulthood, you have never failed to find a way to get what you want. Could it be that you have always been like this? Didn't it only start after winning the competition?"

"You just feel that there's no need to change. After all, you've already broken up with that guy, right?"

"But if things fall apart, we can get back together. Isn't it okay to just talk it out? At worst, we can just start over."

"But I no longer have the chance."

When Rudolf thought of what Kitano said to him that day, he almost couldn't hold back his tears and said, "The chains on me... everything my family has brought to me... If I don't get rid of these, I can't embrace him as my true self..."

"But if I leave these, what will I have left...what will I be?"

"Why? Child, if you leave the family, are you no longer a symbol of Ludor?"

The Speed ​​Symbol also found it funny when she heard this. In fact, she already knew his fear during her previous conversation with Kitano, as well as the reason why the talks with Rudolf broke down. It was nothing more than that he didn't want to be bound by the Symbol Family, nor did he want to become a vassal of Rudolf, who would become the head of the family in the future.

He was worried that Rudolf, who would become the head of the family in the future, would become someone he didn't recognize. In fact, if Rudolf really became the head of the family, given Speed ​​Symbol's understanding of her, she might become even more stubborn and unquestionable in her pursuit of power, which was also what Speed ​​Symbol was worried about.

But now, this problem has been solved. The symbol of speed also said lightly: "Then, you need to let that boy see your changes. Silly girl, why do you think you must have him?"

"You've actually already noticed it yourself. Without that kid, no one can control you. You're also afraid that you won't recognize yourself anymore. That's why you need to support each other and keep going."

"Let that boy see your changes, let him know that you can't live without him. Only when you are with him can you always be the symbol of Ludo he knows, and not become someone else."

"He can change you, but you keep him by your side all the time—when did our girl, the symbol of home, become so anxious and worried?"

"Grandmother...you...don't object?"

The Speed ​​Symbol's words had already brought tears to Luduo's eyes. On the other end of the phone, after a moment's hesitation, the Speed ​​Symbol said calmly, "How could I really let my granddaughter be a widow? Do you think I'm unreasonable?"

"Let's not talk about how I dislike that kid. Even if I disliked him, could I let him commit suicide? At most, I would send him abroad to gain experience for a few years. When he is qualified and capable of shutting up those outsiders in the family, I will send him back."

"You are my only precious granddaughters. How could I really ruin the person you love?"

"..." However, the words of the symbol of speed made Luduo symbol stunned in a trance. Such words... She had never thought from the beginning to the end that they would come out of the mouth of the symbol of speed.

But... why hadn't she asked her grandmother about this earlier? Why hadn't she... ever asked her grandmother about this?

If she had known this back then, she would have had the courage to encourage Trainer-kun to keep going... If she had held on a little longer and not given up... their ending could have been different...

In an instant, joy, sadness, confusion, disbelief... and other emotions all hit Rudolph's brain, making her feel dazzled.

"boom."

With the sound of a cell phone falling to the ground, Rudolph collapsed from the sofa helplessly. On the other end, after calling a few times and getting no response, the Speed ​​Symbol immediately said, "Hurry up and ask the bodyguards from Tresen College to check the situation and send the child to the hospital!"

"By the way, call Kitano-kun and ask him to come along."

Chapter 284: Hugging you, I will always have endless courage

Rudolph didn't know what was happening to her. She was now in a dream, like she was in an endless sea of ​​darkness. She was sinking deeper and deeper, in a dark depth that made her feel suffocated and unable to surface. She saw no hope at all...

"Rudolph, Rudolph."

However, in the deep sea, there seemed to be a hazy voice talking to him. Rudolf tried hard to open his eyes, but found that he could not do it. He could only let the other party whisper something in his ear.

"Rudolph... I've already said a lot, and I don't know if you heard it at all... I know I probably shouldn't bother you, but there are some things I can only tell you when you can't hear me."

Tell me? Tell me what? Is this voice... Trainer-kun?

Rudolph vaguely recognized the voice, but now she had no way to respond and could only listen quietly to Kitano's murmurs.

But... it seems that with this voice... it seems that this suffocating feeling is not so unbearable anymore...

"I've actually always wanted to tell you... I'm sorry... I didn't stay with you until the end... I didn't have the courage. I didn't have the confidence to stay with you until the end."

"Rudolf, I was very scared at that time... Apart from you, there was no one else in this world who could support me... At that time, you were my courage, my only support."

"The only thing I can rely on... is my status as 'Trainer of the Ludo Symbol'... Rudolph."

I know, Trainer. Actually, we've been relying on each other from the beginning, supporting each other to keep going. We're like a leg and a crutch. No matter who we lose first, neither of us can go on alone.

So I regret it very much... You didn't give up on me, you were expecting me to keep you, but at that time... I didn't have the courage to pull you back to my side.

"Remember, Rudolph, when we were discussing the vice president, why did I immediately fall in love with the Qi Trough?"

"Actually, at that time, I just wanted to find more people I was familiar with, people I felt could help me. Qi Cao and Bai Ren, they were both people I felt could help me find some security."

"But later, I realized I was wrong. I was so wrong... Rudolph, from the beginning to the end, the sense of security you gave me was never comparable or replaceable by anyone else."

Ah...what wonderful memories, Qi Cao and Bai Ren.

Rudolf couldn't help but think back to that day when he heard Kitano mention Qicao at the very beginning when it came to the position of vice president, and then Narita Bairen did the same. He was quite upset at the time... especially when their looks seemed to be better than Rudolf's.

For this reason, when the two of them joined the student union, I made things difficult for them and caused them to suffer a lot.

Things like this...you should have told me earlier, otherwise I wouldn't have made things difficult for them, and we would have left better memories with each other.

It won’t happen... because I make things difficult for them, you comfort their emotions and make them feel good about you.

"Rudolph... Actually, that day when you didn't try to stop me, I looked very calm... But I didn't dare tell you that at that time, I felt like the world was falling."

"You're my only support until now. Without your guidance, I wouldn't be who I am today. If... if I hadn't been your trainer, I wouldn't be where I am today."

"It's really funny, you're my horse girl, and I'm your trainer, but in the end... I ended up making you my trainer."

"You taught me a lot. You told me to be a trainer worthy of the Emperor. You told me to always hold my head high because I am your trainer."

"You are the first person who always supervised me and tried hard to catch up. You are the first person who never gave up on me from the beginning to the end."

You have also changed me, Trainer. You are the only one who has not given up on me.

When I was unruly and arrogant, even my grandmother couldn't stand me. But you told me that I could change, I could be a better person, things I myself thought were impossible.

And to be honest, Trainer... I actually wanted to give up on you countless times in the beginning. I even despised you and thought you were not worthy of being my trainer. But in the end, the one who couldn't live without you the most was myself.

But when I realized all this, I was completely speechless... I enjoy every minute with you, and I don't want to turn everything that I took for granted into a feeling of estrangement because of an apology.

I want to make amends, I want to change... I want you to see that I really have become less irritable and less easily angered, and that I can respect my opponents and every ordinary horse girl, just as I respect you.

I also want to go on an overseas expedition. I want to repay you with these achievements and records... Unfortunately, I have not completed any of these things, and I have never successfully repaid you.

Until finally, I never had a chance again...

"Rudolph, Rudolph."

"No...Luna, I've never dared to use this name. I always feel that I'm not worthy of calling you that."

No, just call me Trainer-kun.

You have been worthy of it for a long time. I want to tell you that in this world, besides my parents, you are the only one who can call me that. I want you to call me that regardless of the occasion or whether there are other people present.

It's like, since a long time ago, I have wanted to call you "dear" (あなたanata).

This is a name only we can use for each other, and I don't want to hear it from anyone else, so... just keep calling me like this.

"So, please, open your eyes."

"I don't want to experience the feeling of being away from you again...Luna."

I don't want to...lose you again, Trainer-kun.

In a trance, a faint light seemed to appear in front of Rudolf's eyes - the light was very dim, but it seemed so dazzling in this endless dark deep sea.

At this moment, Rudolph was like a drowning person who grabbed the last straw. She suddenly felt a surge of power in her heart, making her want to swim upwards desperately.

Slowly, Rudolph felt that her thoughts became clearer, and she could see that the light was getting closer and closer to her...

"Rudolph? Rudolph?"

"..." In a hazy state, Kitano's slightly surprised voice finally woke Rudolph from the endless dream. However, when Rudolph opened her hazy eyes, she felt many tears slowly falling around her eye sockets.

Tears kept flowing...but at this moment, Rudolph was not crying because of heartache.

"Trainer...Mr...."

She choked and uttered these words with great difficulty from Rudolph's dry throat. Looking at the man in front of her who had already burst into tears, Rudolph took a long time to speak a few words clearly.

"I'm sorry... Trainer-kun... I'm really... sorry."

"I left you alone... to endure this pain... for so long, so long... I didn't realize it, I didn't have the courage... Don't tell me you're sorry."

"I am sorry for you. I can't leave you... I can't leave you either..."