When I Loved You

She couldn’t accept the fact that she made such a noise in front of him. She had never whined like this, even in front of her own family. Never did she have to cajole someone either. She was smart, calm, and kept a smile on her face. But this… She was acting so unlike herself. Yiyoung’s blushed a crazy red.

“It’s okay,” Muyeol whispered, “I told you that it’s not too late.”

Yiyoung then remembered what he had told her.

“You’re right. I should have expressed my feelings. I should have acted like a child for once.”

“It’s still not too late.”

“No, it is. My parents have already passed away.”

“No, it’s not.”

‘That’s what he meant? What… He’s so lovely,’ Yiyoung thought.

While she was lost in her thoughts, Muyeol kissed her again. His tongue parted her lips and slipped inside her mouth. He explored the inside of her mouth, softly running his tongue along her teeth before playing with her tongue. The kiss grew deeper and deeper, and Yiyoung felt a tingle in lower abdomen. The stimulation was so strong that she involuntarily ground her hips.

The two often parted from each other in order to breathe, and Yiyoung missed the feel of his lips each time without fail. She wanted to feel something stronger.

The two kissed each other endlessly, her arms wrapped around his neck and her legs tangled around his waist. Muyeol lifted her by the hips and walked to the bedroom. When Yiyoung’s back touched the bed, she took in a deep breath, mentally preparing herself for what was to come.

Muyeol pressed down on her body, and Yiyoung asked, “How far will we go today?”

“How far do you want to go?” Muyeol asked as he stared at her black eyes that matched the depths of the ocean.

“Until the end.”

“Only after 4 days of dating? That’s too easy,” he teased.

Suddenly, Yiyoung lifted herself by the shoulders and flipped Muyeol onto the bed. “Yeah? Then until you beg me.”

Muyeol studied her face. “Are you mad?”

“No, I’m bitter.”

The corners of Muyeol’s lips lifted into an unrestrained grin. “It’s my—

But Yiyoung quickly gave him a fervid kiss, and it wiped his mind blank. In that moment, Muyeol experienced the sweetest torture in the world.

* * *

A few days later, the clothes Yiyoung had ordered were delivered. She tried them on, and then sighed deeply when she realized that Muyeol was absolutely right.

She closed the box. “I will never order anything from the shopping channels again.”

She grabbed some paper and a pencil and wrote a shopping list. Underwear, clothes, clothes, clothes, shoes—the list ran.

She looked at the list with pride and muttered to herself, “I should come out of my shell now.”

Staying at home felt much different compared with being in the hospital. Muyeol would force her to wake up early in the morning and drag her to the gym, and then put her on the treadmill.

“How you start is important,” he would say.

“I’m so tired…” she would whine.

But no matter how much she complained, Muyeol wouldn’t budge an inch, so she would always end up running for a full thirty minutes. 5 days had passed like this, and Yiyoung could already see the change. She now knew the difference between simple exertion and exercise.  She had so far only been telling her patients that they needed to exercise, but now that she was aware of the difference, she would be able to recommend exercises herself.

And after resting in a peaceful environment and not missing a single dose of her medicine, the panic disorder symptoms did not reappear. She was recovering fast, and she knew exactly why.