You’re Blocking My Coffin Board

As the sun set, the sky grew dim, and yellow leaves scattered on the ground, creating a desolate and sorrowful scene.

Liang Liang sat on the ground, crying and hiccupping, “Wuwuwu, my money… hic… my money… wuwu… hic.”

Jiang Jiang helplessly wrung out a corner of his damp Taoist robe and handed it to him to wipe his tears.

Oh, forgot that ghosts don’t have tears.

There were too many gold, silver, and jade objects, so everyone hid them in their arms or held them in their hands, avoiding being seen. After surveying the surroundings, they turned their attention to the thin coffin that belonged to Jiang Jiang.

“Wherever it is buried doesn’t matter,” the Taoist muttered, making a gesture as if performing divination. “According to my calculations, my nephew here—matches the owner of this coffin quite well. We can arrange a ghost marriage, by burying them together.”

Liang Liang forgot to hiccup, wide-eyed and dazed, he turned to look at Jiang Jiang.

“What does he mean? Burying us together—”

“It’s nothing,” Jiang Jiang calmly patted his head. “Don’t cry, be good.”

“Let’s send Jiang Jiang down. We’ll make a new gravestone for him.” The villagers looked at each other and nodded. “This coffin is magnificent. Isn’t it better than the previous thin coffin?”

With a thud, Jiang Jiang’s body was thrown down, landing on top of Liang Liang’s skeletal remains.

Liang Liang, who couldn’t be obedient, screamed again and started floating chaotically in the mountains.

The hammer struck the nails, one after another until the coffin lid was securely closed. The shovel piled the soil layer by layer, quickly filling the grave, and burying all traces. Jiang Jiang calmly watched and casually grabbed the unconscious Liang Liang floating in the wind.

“Now that you’re dead, just accept it.”

Meanwhile, the villagers placed the gold, silver, and jade objects in the thin coffin, claiming that they would find another auspicious burial site, and secretly carried them down the mountain.

(6)

When Liang Liang was still alive, he had never shared a bed with anyone. But now that he was dead, he was buried in the same coffin as someone else, someone from a different era.

It wasn’t until nightfall that Liang Liang grew tired of howling and slumped onto Jiang Jiang’s shoulder.

Jiang Jiang helplessly patted his head, examining this ancient person who had been dead for hundreds of years. Instead of speaking in archaic language, Liang Liang had a mouth full of profanity. Jiang Jiang looked at Liang Liang’s long hair hanging down, noticing that the quality of his hair was still quite good.

Jiang Jiang played with Liang Liang’s hair for a while, then his gaze met Liang Liang’s green ghostly eyes.

“Don’t play with my hair.”

“Liang Liang,” Jiang Jiang tried calling his name, having heard it from the little brat. His voice was pleasant to listen to, with a captivating charm that could entice ghosts. “Are you very concerned about those burial items?”

“Of course,” Liang Liang raised his head, and his hair, which had been touched, was still damp. He shook his head to fling off the water droplets. “Life can be lost, but money must never be lost.”

“Understood.”

“What do you mean by ‘understood’?”

Jiang Jiang lifted his head and gazed quietly at the bright moon. “I will help you get them back.”

“You?”

“Yes.”

Liang Liang lowered his head again in frustration. “Forget it. You, an unexpected intruder who has taken over my home and claimed half of my bed. I haven’t even calculated the rent with you.”

“You want rent?”

“Can you pay?”

“Yes,” Jiang Jiang smiled faintly. “But what do you need money for?”

“It makes me happy.” Liang Liang turned his head stubbornly. He certainly wouldn’t confide in a new ghost he had just met that day.

Jiang Jiang’s ghostly body once again seeped water, wetting him.

“You, stay away from me,” Liang Liang floated away, not wanting to be drowned by the ghost. But he didn’t float too far. “Hey, how did you die?”

“So, you died?” Jiang Jiang’s voice remained calm. “But I didn’t die. However, my divination revealed that I should have died today, so I threw myself into the lake.”