imperial psychologist

Chapter 164 The Imperial Concubine's Determination

The night wind is cold.

Qu and Bo Ling sat on an unoccupied promenade by the Chunming Lake.

At the feet of the two of them was a low table just up to the knees, with freshly brewed tea on it.

The palace servants who followed them all the way stood guard at the entrances at both ends of the corridor, and reminded them to take a detour when they encountered palace people who wanted to pass by—the imperial concubine was relaxing on the corridor and should not be disturbed.

Bo Ling held the water glass and looked down at the water surface. Qu Shi was throwing fish food little by little. Colorful koi gathered from the water, turning into an irregular but very beautiful colorful waterscape in front of their eyes.

"Maybe I should go out like this every night from now on." Qu said in a low voice, "In order not to stay in the house all the time, my legs and feet are soft, and I won't be able to stand for a long time... What do you think?"

"Very good." Bo Ling was a little overjoyed, "But why did the empress suddenly think of going out, what happened?"

Qu Shi looked at Bo Ling, "This is exactly what I want to tell you tonight... I want to do one thing, but I haven't made up my mind yet."

Bo Ling looked at Qu Shi quietly, signaling that he was listening carefully.

Speaking of this, Qu suddenly stopped, "During the last consultation, you said a feeling, I don't know if you still remember it."

Bai Ling's voice was very soft, "Which one is your empress referring to?"

"You said last time that when you were talking to me, it seemed that my mother and my brother were watching our conversation." Qu said softly, "I've been thinking about this sentence over and over again, and then I had some... ...a very special find."

"Huh?" Bo Ling held his breath slightly, "What kind of discovery...?"

"I don't know what to say... This idea came to me suddenly during these few days of mindfulness practice." Qu smiled, as if what she was going to say next was extremely absurd, she looked at Bai Ling, "Chengqian There are never any secrets in the palace, do you understand... what I mean?"

"Understood." Bai Ling replied softly, "My lady's food, clothing, daily life, and every move fall into the eyes of many people."

Qu sighed softly, and leaned back against the pillars of the corridor.

"...My mother is really a hard person to please." She said suddenly, her voice lowered a bit, even in this deserted corridor, she lowered her voice instinctively,
Bai Ling responded calmly, she put down the cup in her hand, and unconsciously tilted her body a little in Qu's direction, listening intently to what she was going to say next.

This is the first time that Mrs. Qu took the initiative to mention Mrs. Qu in the conversation.

"You have met my second brother Qu Xiu many times." Qu looked at Bo Ling calmly, "Is he a very annoying person?"

Bo Ling thought for a while, then said cautiously, "...the sense of oppression he brings is really heavy."

Qu laughed, "Many people don't like him, not to mention anyone else. Even Grandma Shu criticized him a few times and scolded him in private. Sometimes I hate him even more. He, but every time I calm down and think about it, I think he is the most pitiful person in the world."

"Ah."

"Before meeting the emperor, my mother seldom asked me about my affairs. I climbed trees, played in water, and rolled in the mud like a boy... She didn't care about it," Qu said softly, "At that time Although there are occasional grievances, I don’t understand why my mother’s eyes never stop on me, but there were too many fun things at that time——I should have told you?”

"Well, my mother said it." Bai Ling nodded and said, "Your elder brother often took you to patrol the barracks and hunting grounds."

"Yes, so the troubles at that time were often diluted by other things before I thought about it... Children, it's all like this." A smile floated on the corner of Qu's mouth, "But my second brother is different. At that time, almost all my mother’s energy was devoted to my second brother’s official career. My second brother also understood that he would never be able to surpass his elder brother in the so-called Wenzhiwugong, so he read and wrote in the room every day. It’s not that I couldn’t stand it a few times and dragged him out of the study, he probably really put an end to all fun at that time.”

"People who haven't experienced this kind of feeling will not understand." Qu's eyes turned slightly sad again, "I also realized it after a long time. Except for the eldest brother, no one in the world can really make my mother laugh. "

Bo Ling's overlapping hands were suddenly clenched.

Looking at the imperial concubine's peaceful expression, she was suddenly hit by a similar sadness.

"...It's really sad." Bo Ling said softly.

"Yes." Qu said softly, "So in the year after entering the palace, I don't know how happy I was. Originally, Qu Xiu had never been able to win Juren, and his mother sighed at the parents every day, and everyone's faces were gray Yes. But after I entered the palace, things were different, when she was in Guining, she held my face and shed tears several times, saying that she never thought that the daughter she was destined for was such a noble person."

Bo Ling smiled with a bit of distress, "Is this considered to have won Mrs. Qu's attention?"

Qu nodded, "Although it's not what I imagined before, since then, my mother has indeed cared more about me than before. Even when she met and looked at me, she couldn't help laughing. During that time, it was like It was like a dream, everything was fine in a blink of an eye. The emperor treated me tenderly, and my brother's official career also went smoothly... Although they were unable to conceive a dragon heir afterwards, which made them nervous again, but that's all for later. "

Qu looked at Bo Ling, and added, "I have been in the palace for 11 years, and A Tuo is my first child."

Bai Ling frowned, and she sighed softly, "These things... I already feel very distressed just after hearing it, ma'am."

Qu smiled a little embarrassedly, she looked away, and said in a low voice, "But...it's all over."

"The empress said earlier, what does the idea of ​​'perceived in righteous thoughts' refer to?"

Qu Shi was stunned, and then remembered that he hadn't finished talking about the original topic, but his thoughts had naturally flowed down and extended to other places.

But after talking so much, she suddenly understood how to describe the previous thought.

Qu lowered her head, "It's actually very simple. In the final analysis, every move in Chengqian Palace is watched by other people, so I always think about it before doing things and speaking. This matter has spread to my mother and brother." What they think and see in their ears...it will naturally become a habit after a long time."

"That's why you have the feeling of being scrutinized." Qu said softly, "Even though they are no longer in the palace, they are still in my heart and have become my own cage."

"Is what the empress said about 'I have not made up my mind' today has anything to do with this prison?"

"Yes." Qu nodded solemnly, and her voice stopped again, "I think it may be next month, or it may be later..."

Qu's voice was very slow, as if he was not sure about what he was going to say.

"I want to take A Tuo... back to me."

(End of this chapter)