The Happy Life of Small Officials in Northern Song Dynasty

For the Su Zhai night banquet, those present are naturally today's meritorious people, Fu Bi, Zhao Dehai, and Fang Chengzhong are naturally indispensable, and there are five more horse soldiers.

The five cavalry soldiers were neatly dressed, but their hair was burnt yellow and their faces were dark and purple, they looked like roasted pig heads.

When all the dishes were served, Su Jin asked Xiao Sui'er to close the door of the hall, and sent the innocent people away. Then he stood up and filled the wine glasses for the five pig-headed soldiers himself.

"Brothers have worked hard, today you have made great contributions and suffered a lot; Su hereby expresses his thanks to you all."

The five people were flattered, and hurriedly got up to return the salute: "This can kill the little people, how dare you do it."

Su Jin patted the shoulder of one person in Zuojin and said, "It's worth it. Here is a great gift. I will give the five of you a three-day holiday and go back to heal the injuries on your faces. They will take care of them for a few days."

After finishing speaking, he snapped his fingers, Wang Chao came forward carrying a few packages, Su Jin grabbed the packages and stuffed them into the arms of five soldiers one by one, saying, "A small thing, it's a compliment."

The five people were carrying the heavy package, knowing that there must be money and other things in it, and the weight was probably no less than twenty pennies. Looking at Zhao Dehai and Fang Chengzhong, please show them.

Zhao Dehai waved his hand and said: "Take it, take it, Master Su's reward, can you not give me face? Besides, today is really hard work, and it is not a loss if you take it."

Only then did the five wrap up their subordinates, and thanked Su Jin happily.

Su Jin laughed loudly, turned around and went back to his seat, raised his wine glass and said: "Today we can scare the Liao envoy so much, let me watch the good show you guys have done, everyone can be a role."

Fu Bi laughed and said, "It's not that you arranged it properly, I was always worried that my flaws would be seen."

Zhao Dehai said: "That's right, I was also worried about showing my flaws, but fortunately nothing went wrong; hey, it would be great if we really had such firearms."

Fang Chengzhong said: "If you really have such a firearm, how can you pay it back? Why don't you immediately put it on your back and take Yuanhao and Liaogou together?"

Su Jin smiled and said: "The main reason is that there is no strong and explosion-resistant cast iron pipe. To achieve such power, the medicine must be strong enough; but if the medicine is too strong, the pipe can't stand it, and it bursts and hurts my family." Fu Bi sighed. "Yeah, otherwise, why would we lie and bury gunpowder in the woods and under the soil slope first, and then trouble the five brothers to call it a day and ignite it to create momentum. It's really powerful, a small stone Jumped onto my leg and it's still bruised."

Su Jin raised his glass and said to the five soldiers: "Come on, it's done, I was worried that you guys would not be able to escape, the gunpowder exploded, it was not a joke, but fortunately it only burned the head and face, and none of the parts on the body are gone. lack."

Zhao Dehai laughed and said: "As long as the little brother is still there, what's the point of getting some skin burns? Besides, the five of you have just changed your skin after being burned. Maybe you're even more handsome than before."

The crowd roared with laughter, Xiao Sui'er on the side blushed when they heard it, men always like to talk dirty things when they get together, I didn't understand anything before, but now I understand "little brother" and "second child" as soon as I hear it, and I don't know how I figured this out.

Xiao Sui'er also figured out one thing. It turned out that the earth-shattering movement in the schoolyard this afternoon was all fabricated by the young master; according to what they said, it was pre-buried gunpowder in the woods and under the mound of soil. , and then as soon as the firearm was fired, the people hidden over there started to light the fuze, and then they exploded non-stop; no wonder the five soldiers burned like pig heads, their faces were red, it seemed that they were burned by the heat. Smoke sprayed to the head and face, strange scary.I don't know why the son and the others cheated like this?Just to scare those Liao people?

Xiao Sui'er tried her best not to remind herself of that tall and strong Liao official, but she couldn't help it. A sentence flashed in her mind: That Liao people have so much hair!

On the other side, the two of Zhao Fang have already started to spittle and talk about how they went to the Shenhuo Camp of the Ministry of War to borrow bamboo tubes and gunpowder, how those people disagreed, and how they and others were righteous and moved them with reason and emotion , In the end, I spent money to buy all the bamboo tubes and explosives.

Su Jin couldn't help asking: "How much gunpowder did you two buy in total?"

Zhao Dehai said proudly: "We have bought all of them, and we have moved all the ten pods of gunpowder in the warehouse of Shenhuo Camp."

Su Jin was stunned and said, "Why did you buy it all? You can't eat that thing? Let's just use it this time. It's very dangerous to keep that thing."

Zhao Dehai also said in astonishment: "I didn't keep it, didn't I use it all up?"

Su Jin opened his eyes wide and said, "Have you used up all the ten barrels of gunpowder?"

"Yeah, there's nothing left. How could it be so powerful? Five barrels were buried under the mound alone. Didn't you tell me to make it so loud and scare the people of Liao?" Pee your pants?"

Su Jin was helpless. It seemed that he had miscalculated the performance of this gunpowder. This is not the TNT explosive of later generations. A small piece is enough to blow up a radius of several meters without vegetation. Fortunately, this kind of gunpowder should not be expensive. .

"It doesn't matter, it doesn't matter if you use it all up, you won't feel at ease putting it anywhere; how much is the barrel of gunpowder, and who pays for it in advance?"

Zhao Dehai took out a note from his bosom, raised it and said, "If you don't tell me, I'd forget, I didn't pay the money, and I'm in the Shenhuo camp with the two faces of selling and Lao Fang. It just so happened that Master Su accepted the bill, and it will be sent to them tomorrow."

Su Jin stretched out his hand to take the note, only glanced at it twice, and the flesh on his face kept shaking: [-] specially made bamboo torches, totaling [-] sticks; [-] barrels of black powder, counting [-] sticks; A thousand pieces counts as one hundred guan; all things add up to [-] guan.

"Master Su, what's the matter with you?" Zhao Dehai asked earnestly.

"What's wrong with you, my lord?" Zhao Chengzhong also asked.

What was exasperating was that Fu Bi also came up to him and asked with concern: "My dear brother, you were fine just now, did you eat badly?"

Su Jin took a few breaths, calmed down and said with a smile: "It's all right, this price is cheap enough."

Zhao Dehai said proudly: "That's right, we brothers will give you a half discount no matter what, Master Huang from the Shenhuo camp can tell you that they use extremely tough thorny bamboo for the bamboo tube, and it takes three years to get this kind of bamboo. The five-year-old ones should not be too young or too old; after taking them, only the five or six joints on the root are used, and the others are not suitable, so they can be used as a musket. The price was nearly [-] yuan per one at the beginning, but now But it’s only five hundred coins for us, hahahaha.”

Su Jin looked at him with bulging eyes and said, "Do you think you've made money?"

Zhao Dehai's laughter stopped abruptly and he said, "Why? Is this still not profitable?"

Su Jin said: "Then what do we use these [-] bamboo tubes now? To burn them for fire or to use them as hookahs for smoking? They were sold to help count the money. The bamboo tubes piled up in the warehouse of the Shenhuo camp are just a pile of firewood. They also sell them for ten renminbi each, but for five hundred renminbi, should they be gold bars?"

Zhao Dehai understood, slapped his head and cursed: "That's right, these bastards are playing me like a monkey. I'll go find them, damn it, dare to play tricks with men."

Su Jin waved his hand and said, "I've written all the IOUs, so what are you going to look for? You've been taken advantage of and think that everyone doesn't know about it, so you still make trouble? Forget it, such a small amount of money is nothing."

Zhao Dehai and Fang Chengzhong wailed and said: "Then needless to say, this gunpowder was also cheated."

Su Jin sighed and said: "They ask for one hundred guan for a barrel of gunpowder. With a hundred guan, I can build a big house in the countryside with three entrances. Even if the barrel of gunpowder is placed in that house and let him blow it up, it won't blow up. In the corner of the house, these grandchildren are really dark enough."

Fang Chengzhong's face turned purple from holding back, and after holding back for a long time, he said, "Didn't we not pay you? We won't."

Su Jin didn't know whether to laugh or cry: "Repudiation? I can't afford to lose that person."

Zhao Dehai said: "Then you are willing to suffer?"

Su Jin smiled and said: "I don't want to be taken advantage of. This matter is left to Mr. Fu. We are negotiating for the imperial court. No matter what the money is spent, we can't pay it ourselves. Mr. Fu will ask the third division to go to this matter, or directly Photograph the list on the emperor's dragon case, anyway, I won't pay a single word; with this money, I might as well give each of the Ma Jun brothers a three-five guan, and I won't let these guys in. pockets."

Fu Bi was stunned and said: "There is nowhere to write off the money. We can't negotiate with gunpowder in bamboo tubes. It's hard for the emperor to answer if you ask."

Su Jin said: "That's your business. The money must be paid by the court, or your rich man is thinking of other ways. Anyway, I won't do this kind of trickery. Originally, I patted my chest and said that I will take the money, so as not to report it." There are a lot of bad words, but now I have changed my mind, the men in the front are working hard to save face for Song Dynasty, and the grandsons in the back are still poaching the corners of Lao Tzu, so if I don’t spit on them, it will be peace.”

Fu Bi chuckled and said, "That's fine, I just took this opportunity to clean up those wares in the Ministry of War. I'll write a memorial for this matter and see who dares to ask for the money."

Zhao Dehai and Fang Chengzhong are stupid, Mr. Fu is right and right, he is an admonisher; it seems that those guys in the Ministry of War are going to have a hard time, and the Ministry of War belongs to the Privy Council, and I am afraid that Privy Councilor Du will be hooked; Regret, why are you so ignorant, and taught people to make such a large sum of money, look!Things are getting bigger!