Shen Yi's Darkness and Depression

Chapter 235 Mu Chunfeng

"After lighting the everlasting lamp, I feel much more at ease." Yun Wan wrote the lamp sign with her own hand and lit the everlasting lamp. All her piety was just to hope that her deceased relatives could rest in peace, especially her father.

"It's good to be at ease, but why did you light three lamps?" Ze Fenglin didn't dare to talk too much in the nunnery just now, for fear of disturbing the Buddha. Although he doesn't believe in Buddhism, he doesn't object to other people having faith. Well, why bother to force others to walk with you.

"I also ordered one for my grandmother. Although her old man was always angry with me when she was alive, I know she cares about me very much. She really hopes that I will be successful, otherwise she would not force me to learn various skills." Yun Wan While chatting with Ze Fenglin, he walked carefully downhill. He didn't feel so obvious when going up the mountain, but only when he went down the mountain did he feel that the mountain road was very steep.

"You are just a granddaughter, why bother forcing you to be successful? Besides, is learning all kinds of skills sure to be successful? What is the standard for being successful?" Ze Fenglin does not agree with such a view, as long as a person's growth is led on the right track , why forcefully plan the route to success?
"Her old man hopes that the Duanmu clan can marry the royal family, alas~" Yun Wan shook her head and sighed.

"Hey, the old man's wish has been fulfilled." Ze Fenglin was not sure whether Yun Wan wanted to marry into the royal family or to follow her grandmother's last wish.

"Well, but my mother is very opposed to this. She didn't want to teach me various skills back then. Who would have thought that things would be counterproductive? If she knew about it, wouldn't she feel very sad." Yun Wan felt a lot of emotion.

"Why do you object? Isn't it a good thing to marry the royal family?" Ze Fenglin knew that if his aunt hadn't been a noble concubine, his father would not have been valued by the emperor.

"Maybe it's because the women in the harem are too lonely." Yun Wan also never understood why her mother disliked the royal family. "Or maybe it's because she simply doesn't like my grandmother's nagging?"

"I was very naughty when I was young, and my grandmother would often be cruel to me. The old people are like this. They nagged and reprimanded me, but they loved and worried very much in their hearts. Naturally, your mother loves you even more." Ze Fenglin recalled his grandmother when he was a child The way he reprimanded him seemed so kind.

"I'm very contradictory to my grandmother. If she can be nicer to my mother, I won't always try to make her angry." Yun Wan was very rebellious at the time, but now that she thinks about her grandmother being very kind to her, It's just that she was too harsh on her mother at that time, so that Yun Wan was often dissatisfied with her grandmother's words and deeds.

"It can't be that your grandmother is dissatisfied with your mother?" Ze Fenglin guessed.

"Well, it's a little bit. My grandmother is also a daughter-in-law from a wealthy family. It's normal to look down on a daughter-in-law who has no family background." Yun Wan understands this very well now. If it weren't for Duanmu and Murong's marriage, she and Youchen How could I live in the consort's mansion and know so many royal relatives.

"Your grandmother can agree to your parents' marriage, and still cares for you very much. Even if she is a little dissatisfied in her heart, she can do it well. There is no such thing as completely satisfactory." Ze Fenglin heard from the slave, he Mother was the daughter-in-law carefully selected by her grandmother, but his father didn't like it, even after giving birth to him to continue the incense for the Zefeng clan, his mother could not get his father's love.

"Perhaps you are right, but my mother really suffered a lot, especially in the last days. Her body was tortured by illness, but she always insisted on spending my birthday with my father. Say sorry to my father and say she tried her best."

The darkest time in Yunwan's life was the period before her mother passed away. It was not easy for her to survive the hesitation and sadness when she was young, "But my mother still didn't survive March [-]rd, I really Unfortunately."

"Send away your loved ones, except for the grief, there is only regret." Ze Fenglin comforted, he didn't even have the memory of mourning for his mother, and he often dreamed that he was wearing a white mourning dress and searching in an open place, and there was no one. There is nothing, and there is nothingness everywhere.

"I'm referring to the regret that I wasn't by my mother's side when she left." Yun Wan finally expressed her thoughts.

"If you weren't around, how could you hear your mother say sorry to your father?" Ze Fenglin was very confused.

"I heard what my mother's maid said, I really hate myself for not going back sooner." Yun Wan's eyes were slightly red.

"You didn't go fetch water, did you? Do you want to use the river water on March [-] to cure your mother's illness?" Ze Fenglin suddenly realized, "Fool, all festival rituals are prayers and expectations, a kind of beautiful Just hope."

"Yeah, when I was young, every story and every myth would be taken as true." Yunwan regretted endlessly, but it was difficult for people involved in the incident to see the facts clearly, and they always liked to paralyze themselves with hope.

"Come on, quickly count how many idiots there are on both sides of the Tianshen River?" Ze Fenglin didn't want to talk about sad topics, and at the moment he only wanted Yun Wan to be happy.

"Linzi, you are not afraid of being heard by others. If you get beaten up, I can't help you." Yun Wan looked at the riverside where the heads were moving, temporarily hiding the loneliness and regret in her heart.

"It's fine if you don't go up and kick me. If I lose consciousness, remember to take me home." Ze Fenglin joked with Yun Wan while looking around, "It's so lively over there, let's go and have a look."

A group of gorgeously dressed women are dancing in the shallow river water with long skirts.

A hundred meters away, a group of men played the piano, played the flute, and played the erhu to accompany them.

Cheerful music and lively dances are very harmonious and unified. This is the annual singing and dancing of the Shangsi Festival, in order to drive away evil spirits and find your sweetheart at the same time.

"Linzi, go and perform some musical instruments." Yun Wan urged Ze Fenglin, and she found that several of the women in the group were good-looking.

"I don't know anything. If it's a knife, gun and stick, I can still wield it." Ze Fenglin waved his hands resolutely.

"Aren't you worried about your life's event?" Yun Wan frowned, no wonder Shen Yihan got angry for Ze Fenglin.

"Who is like you, who is so sought after, the best among the best, and found a husband who is as good as the third brother." Ze Fenglin retorted.

"Why am I so popular? Linzi actually made fun of me." Yun Wan glared at Ze Fenglin, she was clearly thinking of him sincerely.

"I'm a poor martial artist. I don't even have the chance to accompany Yiren. Could it be that I'm doomed to die alone?" Ze Fenglin squinted at Yun Wan's expression.

"People with both civil and military skills abound. No matter who makes you not self-motivated, but if you really want to learn, I can teach you." Yun Wan said sincerely, as long as you settle down and work hard to learn skills, it is never too late.

On the banks of the Tianshen River, there are bustling prayer altars; when you meet the spring breeze, you will be Cheng Peng day and night.

(End of this chapter)