Your Highness, the princess is going to paint your portrait

Chapter 185 Disobedience

Jing Chun straightened his body, and replied cautiously and tenaciously: "But even so, I still firmly choose my path, Dr. Baili, if you are a woman, you will understand that other than this way out, I really have only one way out. Why can’t women have other choices after the return of a husband, a child, and children? Even if I have suppressed desires, so what? If I can live out my glory, there is nothing wrong with restraining desires.”

Dr. Baili was slightly surprised, as if he didn't expect Jing Chun to say such heartfelt words.

"But this road is indescribably difficult..."

"I know, I even know that it will be difficult for me to find the starting point of this road. If there is no starting point, then I don't even have a road. Therefore, I need to find this road slowly by myself. I am not afraid of spending time. I'm only seventeen, even if I spend the rest of my life on the road to find the starting point, that's still a road, I mean, whatever I create, there's a road there."

Dr. Baili didn't say anything against it, he just remained silent for a long time, and then asked: "Miss Jing, are you sure that you will go down this road? You are the only one..."

Jing Chun lowered her eyebrows and looked at her nails. She has always had the habit of biting her nails when thinking, especially her thumbs. Although this habit is not good, she also thought about whether to change it, but she didn't, not because Jing Chun insists on going his own way, but this kind of situation will only happen when Jing Chun is thinking about something with his heart, so Jing Chun's nail biting will also become a reasonable behavior to assist thinking.

"Does Doctor Baili mean that I will be lonely?"

I also know that the jade bracelet sent by Jiang Hejin in Yu Guangzhong once again broke into Jing Chun's sight. At that moment, Jing Chun's heart seemed to be muddied and re-precipitated.

Yes, Jing Chun will be very lonely, she will have no parents, no husband, no children, and even no stable friends, and Aunt Lan will not always be with her...

Moreover, Jing Chun may wander around because of the freedom he feels in his heart, eat alone, and face all the dangers in the world as a woman. At that time, he will no longer have the blessings of Jingzhao Mansion and Princess Li.

Or, in the end, Jing Chun died in a foreign country, and no one collected the body, and even the ashes were scattered.

"Can Miss Jing really bear it?"

Jing Chun remained silent, thinking of the night when he woke up in the middle of the night and looked out of the window. It was a kind of bluish-gray black, with the light of stars twinkling, but the fear of loneliness and loneliness could envelop Jing Chun's whole body. , until he fell asleep again drowsily...

Jing Chun murmured back: "That would be very difficult..."

It will be difficult, the road ahead will be difficult

Jing Chun smiled lightly, "I will get through the tough times. My future life will not only be lonely, which makes me feel a little unacceptable. Now that I have thought of going out of this way, I will really go on, and I don't feel lonely and scary..."

It seems that, in Jing Chun's heart, she would regard the suffering on the road as a habit of biting her nails, just occasional loneliness, and what she needs to do will surpass loneliness, and it will surpass everything else.

But Dr. Baili already understood Jing Chun's thoughts in his heart. He seemed to sense the radiance in Jing Chun that did not belong to this era, and his eyes also showed his appreciation for Jing Chun. It seemed that he hadn't heard such heavy and weighty words for a long time. .

"Miss Jing seems to think of this road a little too simply. Maybe Miss Jing thinks it's just an unusual road. Someone must have walked it in the past, but has Miss Jing thought about it? Why did the people who walked before Didn't leave a name in the history biography? Indeed, as a woman, there are too many things that she can't do, and she can't even get the approval of most people in this world. Even so, is Miss Jing still going to go on? "

"If I don't try the way, how will I know if it's a good way to go? It's the world's prejudice that a woman in the past has anonymity, but it can't be called the woman's fault. I also walked this way, never I thought about becoming famous one day, I only hope that future generations will be known, and the predecessors have entered this path."

Doctor Baili said calmly: "Miss Jing, drink tea."

"Thank you."

Jing Chun took the teacup, and saw Doctor Baili get up and walk out of Jing Chun's side with vigorous steps.

"Doctor Baili." Jing Chun finally stopped Doctor Baili, looked down at the strong herbal tea, "In your eyes, am I a bit selfish? Or in the eyes of the world, am I a bit disobedient?"

Doctor Baili turned around slowly, "Whether selfish or not, rebellious or not, or, wrong or right, are just prejudices in people's eyes. There is a saying that rare things are precious. Although the old man's path is different from the girl's, he has come out. It can't be said how long it will be. After all, the old man has lived for most of his life. no?"

Dr. Baili looked around at everything in the Baicao Hall, with a slight smile on his lips, "A hundred years later, we will all be bones. Who will remember who? Miss Jing, what do you think?"

"So it is."

Doctor Baili knew that this way was too heartless, so he replied: "Then don't feel guilty, it's your way and you have to go on."

Dr. Baili gradually walked out of Jing Chun's sight. Jing Chun was silent for a long time, and her heart returned to the indulgence when she saw the sun again.

Jing Chun drank the tea. This herbal tea was not as bitter as ordinary tea, but had a sweet taste, just like the grass roots that Jing Chun had nibbled secretly when adults were not paying attention when he was playful.

Jing Chun couldn't help but smile, his feet were rippling, and he felt much more relaxed.

Who said that life must first be bitter and then sweet to become a Buddha, so can't you be the master of yourself if you first sweet and then bitter?

This is Jing Chun's own path. Whether she is called selfish or rebellious, it is Jing Chun's own choice. She is prepared to deal with it. At worst, she will drown on her own road.

Jing Chun wants to keep going, she may feel sorry for anyone, and she will feel a lot of guilt in her heart, such as loyalty and filial piety, but if she doesn't find a way, she will definitely let herself down, and then she will really will lose themselves!

Jing Chun, although you are not the savior, I also know that you cannot be the savior, but in another world, please, must, must follow your own will, unswervingly walk on the road to freedom, the outside world The coercion of you exists, but your existence will be the sustenance for me to escape from the prison. Only if you succeed, can I succeed!
(End of this chapter)