Don't help me, I can sit up by myself

Gao Rang is the emperor's caring little leg, and Gao Rang only tells the truth.

"Du Changzai was so happy when he heard that he didn't have to sleep with him for two months."

"When Du Changzai heard that he didn't have to stay in bed for two months, he asked the kitchen to prepare two delicious dishes for him and Master Shi to eat."

The emperor has no intention of drinking tea.

What does it mean to ask the small kitchen to prepare two delicious dishes for Xiaozhu Shi to eat? It is obviously a celebration.

Not only was she not overwhelmed by not being allowed to sleep with her, she actually celebrated.

Ha ha.

woman.

The emperor began to feel restless, wandering around the palace looking for trouble, and finally his eyes fell on the teacup: "Who made the tea? I only drink eight-percent hot tea. This tea is already cold, so how can I drink it?"

"Your Majesty, this tea is eighty percent hot." The eunuch serving the tea quickly knelt down.

"Slave dog, if the emperor says it's cold, it's cold. Why don't you go get the emperor a drink?" Gao Rang winked at the little eunuch. The emperor never distinguishes between right and wrong when looking for trouble. Otherwise, how can it be called trouble? As a slave, just do it. Just follow the emperor.

After all, Gao Rang was an old man. Seeing that the young eunuch was not asking for money, he had to change the tea himself: "Your Majesty, please wait a moment. I will go and make tea for you myself."

"Don't go, I still have something to ask you to do."

"Yes." Gao Rang stood obediently.

Although the emperor's hand was swollen, the doctor at the Imperial Hospital was very skilled and used medicine to straighten the bone, and the pain in his hand disappeared immediately. The emperor picked up the brush and dipped it in some ink, then wrote the word "Du" on the rice paper. He wanted to continue writing, but he didn't know where to start.

Gao Rang was already panicked: "Your Majesty, your hand has not healed yet, so it is not suitable for writing."

"My husband, this little injury is nothing. What do you think of the word "Du" written on it?" The emperor raised the rice paper.

"The emperor wrote it. It's excellent."

However, the emperor put down his writing brush, crumpled the rice paper and threw it into the wastebasket. He stopped writing and asked Gao Rang to call Du Jiyan.

"I wonder why the emperor announced that Du is always here?"

"Just say that I am seriously injured. As a concubine, she should take care of me."

When Gao Rang went to Wanru Hall, Du Jiyan and Shi Jing were still having a drink with each other.

Shi Jing did not read much, so such a good life with wine and meat could only be described as "happy, joyful and comfortable".

Du Jiyan has more words.

"Life will be fleeting for a hundred years, but we must enjoy eternal love."

"The two of us drank together, and the flowers bloomed, one cup after another. I'm so drunk that I'm ready to go to sleep. I'll bring you the piano tomorrow morning."

"If you are happy in life, you must have all the joy. Don't let the gold bottle stand empty against the moon. I am born with talents that will be useful. I will come back after all the gold is gone."

Drinking and gaining momentum.

The two of them drank until their faces turned red.

Gao Rang came with a whisk in his arms and said, "Your Majesty, please invite Du Changzai to the Palace of Supreme Harmony."

"Your Majesty. Your name sounds a bit familiar." Shi Jing was already drunk: "Du Jiyan, do you know a eunuch named Your Majesty?"

Du Jiyan was also slightly drunk: "Eunuch Gao, I wonder why the emperor called me?"

"The emperor said that he is injured and needs his concubine to take care of him. Du Chang must hurry up and don't keep the emperor waiting for a long time."

The emperor asked me to serve him, so I had no choice but to serve him.

Taihe Palace.

The emperor was reading the play excerpts submitted by the Nanfu after the case, one was "The Civet Cat for the Prince" and the other was "The Monkey King Fights the Bone Demon Three Times". When he saw the highlights, he patted the long table with his hands and hummed the lyrics softly.

I heard that the emperor went out of the palace to watch a show on the Lantern Festival. For Nanfu, that was a shame. Nanfu couldn't arrange any kind of music, so he hurriedly worked overtime to write a notebook and handed it to the emperor for review.

Just when he saw the White Bone Spirit transforming into a young girl and delivering steamed buns to Tang Monk, in an attempt to kidnap Tang Monk, the sound of Du Jiyan's footsteps came from outside the hall.

The emperor quickly put the playbook of "The Monkey King Three Fights the Bone Demon" under the memorial, sat down solemnly, and deliberately rolled up his sleeves, revealing the somewhat swollen backs of his hands.

The smell of alcohol from Du Jiyan's body outside the screen came in.

The emperor saw that the playbook of "The Civet Cat for the Prince" was still open, and he quickly pressed the playbook to the bottom, then straightened his clothes and waited for Du Jiyan to come in.

Du Jiyan's face turned red.

He walked around the screen and saluted the emperor.

I was so full that I almost sat on the ground when I squatted down.

The emperor almost stood up to support him, but remembered that he was still injured and quickly retracted his hand.

"Is Du Chang drinking?"

"Yes."

"Why are you drinking in the blue sky? What's the reason?"

"Because I heard that I won't be able to sleep with you for two months, and my heart is really sad." Du Zhi said that he was lying.

"Really?" The emperor snorted.

Woman, just lie.

According to Gao Rang's report, he was obviously very happy and excited knowing that he didn't have to go to bed. He ordered good wine and food to celebrate, but he dared to tell lies with his eyes open and said that he couldn't go to bed. It was really sad.

What's sad, it's obviously a celebration with beating gongs and drums.

"Are you telling the truth?"

"What I said is the truth."

"That's the truth. Then you just drink wine? No food?"

"have eaten."

"What did you eat?"

When it comes to food, it comes to Du Jiyan's expertise.

For professional things, the answers are naturally fluent.

"Sauerkraut fish, made from the biggest herring, twenty skewers. Sweet and sour pork tenderloin, osmanthus fat duck, braised shark's fin, yellow peas. Twenty skewers were not enough, so I added ten more."

The emperor frowned upon hearing this.

Boy, that's how sad it is.

There was also a lot of food and drink, and a few more things were added.

After answering the emperor's question, Du Jiyan also regretted that he should not have spoken so quickly and said these things that he should not have said. But after all, I drank two more glasses of wine. As soon as the wine hit my head, my mind became a little confused and my thinking was not so clear.

The emperor couldn't stop him from asking questions all the time. He could handle one or two questions, but when he answered too many, mistakes appeared.

It’s impossible to guard against it.

"I was seriously injured." The emperor emphasized the word hard: "I was so seriously injured, but you still eat and drink, you heartless women."

Du Jiyan quickly knelt down, pretending to be weak and pitiful.

If I had known that I was going to serve the emperor, I would have drank less.

But it's too late to say this now, it's up to the emperor to deal with it.

"My hand is swollen. It's very inconvenient. You can take care of me." The emperor deliberately looked coldly.

"I heard from people in the palace that it was the nobleman Wei who was sleeping with me."

"She's the one who takes care of her bed. You can take care of her during the day."

oh, I get it.

Wei Guiren works the night shift.

Du Jiyan had to work the day shift.

There was no need to wait for the emperor to sleep during the day shift, and it was still necessary to do some menial tasks.

Serving the emperor is your duty, and this is a familiar task.

Du Jiyan is also good at observing words and colors.

As soon as he heard that the emperor needed to be served, Du Jiyan decisively helped the emperor pinch his arm, from the arm to the wrist, and from the wrist to the hand. He squeezed it so hard that the emperor grinned: "Du Jiyan, my hand is injured. Are you going to hurt me?" Are your hands crippled?"

Du Jiyan hurriedly let go of his hand and served tea to the emperor.

The freshly brewed tea is still steaming.

Du Jiyan diligently brought the tea to the long table and opened the tea lid: "Your Majesty, please have some tea."

The emperor glanced at her sideways and pursed his lips.

"Your Majesty, please have some tea."

"My ears are very good." "Then Your Majesty?" Du Jiyan was still wondering. Since the Emperor heard this and brought the tea himself, why didn't the Emperor use the tea yet and looked a little dissatisfied? What kind of anger are you getting? I didn’t leave anything behind, and it’s not like I had to pass chopsticks and spoons when eating. How easy it is to drink tea. I opened the lid of the bowl myself.

"My ears work well, but my hands don't work." The emperor held his breath.

"Ah, I forgot, the emperor's hands are swollen and he can't carry the tea bowl." Du Jiyan realized it later.

This stupid woman.

The emperor sighed and stretched his head forward half a minute.

Since you know that his hands are not flexible enough to hold the tea bowl, why don't you quickly pick up the tea and feed it to him?

Du Jiyan picked up the tea bowl and handed it to Gao Rang: "Your Majesty cannot serve tea, please take it away."

Gao Rang Du Changzai can't understand what you mean. He's not as good as a eunuch like me. But it is strange to say that the emperor could clearly pick up the tea bowl before and said that the tea was not hot enough. Why did he suddenly fail and couldn't pick it up now? Did your condition suddenly get worse? It shouldn't be.

The emperor told himself in his heart that Du Changzai was drunk, so he shouldn't be the same as her.

Gao Rang held the tea and brought it to the emperor's mouth diligently. No matter what, he couldn't make the emperor thirsty.

The emperor clearly refused: "Are all my concubines gone? Show you."

Gao Rang was embarrassed.

Du Jiyan understood the hidden meaning of the emperor's words, and hurriedly took the tea and handed it to the emperor's lips personally.

The little eunuch was clever. This time he brewed the tea eight times hotter and even heated the tea tray to prevent it from getting too cold.

As expected, it was really hot. Du Jiyan's fingers were all red. It was really hard to handle it, and he was afraid of burning the emperor, so he could only kindly remind: "Your Majesty, the tea is hot."

"I just like drinking hot tea." The emperor said arrogantly.

Well, Your Majesty, if you like to drink hot tea, please feed me my concubine.

Du Jiyan held the tea bowl against the emperor's lips.

The emperor regretted it as soon as his lips touched the tea bowl. God knows why this eight-point iron was so hot. The emperor took a sip and felt that his tongue was numb. In a panic, he wanted to reach out his hand and push the tea bowl away. Then he remembered what he told Du Jiyan. He was seriously injured and cannot be used.

Then just bear with it.

The emperor took three sips of tea and began to sweat on his forehead.

After three more sips, white smoke began to rise from the hair, as if the Supreme Master was refining elixirs. The dense white smoke rose slowly and steamed.

"The emperor likes to drink such hot tea." Du Jiyan expressed concern.

"I have had this hobby since I was a child."

"My concubine feels so hot. Your Majesty, aren't you afraid of being hot?"

"What's hot? It's not hot at all." The emperor said harshly.

The result of speaking harshly is that your mouth will turn red after drinking a cup of tea.

Gao Rang was secretly stamping his feet anxiously.

This ignorant little eunuch poured such hot tea, how much pain did the emperor suffer?

I thought it was time to rest after drinking tea, but unexpectedly the emperor had other projects.

Anyway, I called Du Jiyan, so I couldn't let him go lightly.

"I'm hungry, I want a snack."

it is good.

eat dessert.

The pea yellow is served.

The yellow-orange peas are so soft and waxy.

There are also dragon beard cakes. The dragon beard cakes are so thin, as thin as hair. There are at least a thousand strands in a box. And it’s covered in icing sugar, not to mention how sweet it is.

The emperor was still sitting, unable to raise his hands.

Du Jiyan fed the pea huang into the emperor's mouth. The emperor tasted the soft pea huang with a smile on his face: "This pea huang is not bad. The dates in it are also sweet."

"Dragon Beard Cake is sweeter. Would you like to try it, Your Majesty?"

"Try a little."

Du Jiyan rolled some dragon beard cakes, which were about the size of longan, and put them into the emperor's mouth.

The mouth of Long Xusu became larger, and the emperor choked and coughed twice.

Du Jiyan quickly patted his back and asked the young eunuch to make a cup of tea.

Thinking about the torture of drinking tea, the emperor didn't want to suffer it a second time, so he coughed and said, "I just like to eat dry and don't need tea."

"Your Majesty, you are really different. It's not easy to eat Longxu Cake dry."

"I said you can swallow it. You can swallow it. I just like to eat it dry." The emperor choked and rolled his eyes. He swallowed several mouthfuls of saliva before swallowing a roll of dragon beard cake.

The emperor's eyes were red.

Gao Rang stamped his feet until sparks burst out of him.

God, how wronged this is to the emperor.

Don't drink too much tea and don't eat too much snacks, otherwise it will kill you.

The emperor came up with a new idea: "I want to watch an opera."

After all, after eating and drinking, it’s time for some entertainment.

Gao Rang heard that the emperor wanted to see an opera performance, so he immediately went to invite actors from Nanfu.

The emperor tilted his body slightly and pulled out the playbook "The Civet Cat for the Prince" from under the memorial: "Let's play this."

Gao Rang coughed twice.

Your Majesty, you have been seriously injured. You can hardly use your hands. You must not pull out the playbook with your hands, otherwise the secret will be revealed.

The emperor clearly didn't react.

Gao Rang coughed twice more.

"Gao Rang, if your throat feels uncomfortable, ask Dr. Zhang to prescribe you some Pangdahai tea to drink."

Gao Rang glanced at the playbook and blinked hard.

The emperor suddenly realized that Gao Rang was reminding him.

It was so sloppy that it almost exposed the secret.

The emperor asked Gao Rang to take out his trick book.

Gao Rang held up "Civet Cat for Prince" and showed it to Du Jiyan.

"Du Chang is here, do you want to watch a show?"

"think."

Watching a play in ancient times is equivalent to watching a movie in modern times.

There were few entertainment items in ancient times, so watching theater was a good pastime. Du Jiyan was not like some concubines who were jealous in the harem, so she liked to eat melon seeds and watch plays.

"The civet cat exchanges for the prince" refers to the legend of the exchange of sons between Zong Yinzhen of the Qing Dynasty and the Chen family of Haining.

The Chen family from Haining, Zhejiang, has been wearing hairpins for many generations since the late Ming Dynasty. The ultimate bit. Later, the Chen family, such as Chen Shuo, Chen Shiguan, Chen Yuanlong and other fathers, sons, uncles and nephews, were all high-ranking officials with generous salaries and favors.

During the Kangxi period, Shizong was the prince, and he was particularly friendly with Chen Shiguan. It happened that two families had children at the same time.

When Shizong heard about it, he was very happy and ordered the Chen family to carry the son into the palace. After a long time, he sent it back. The Chen family discovered that the boy they returned was no longer their boy, but a girl.

The emperor did not believe in such secrets about palace restrictions. The palace restrictions were so strict that the possibility of changing the child was very slim.

"I won't watch that show. Let the people in Nanfu arrange "The Monkey King Three Fights the Bone Demon"."

Soon, the Nanfu singer came.

Some were made up to be Sun Wukong, some were made up to be White Bone Demons, and some were made up to be Tang Monk.

It is the Monkey King who somersaults thousands of miles away from his village to explore the terrain. The White Bone Spirit transforms into a village girl, carrying a basket of steamed buns to seduce Tang Monk.

Du Jiyan watched with gusto.

The maid of Taihe Palace also served a plate of pumpkin seeds and a plate of watermelon seeds.

There is a pumpkin seed in the left hand and a watermelon seed in the right hand.

Pumpkin seeds are salty and watermelon seeds are sweet.

One sweet and one salty were just right, and the palace maid even brought tea when I was thirsty.

Emperor: Du Jiyan, thank you for your considerate service.