I'm afraid I'm not interested in love

Chapter 642 Yesterday's events, like water without a trace

Su Chengyi walked to the bedside and looked up at the IV bottle.

It is a whole bottle that has just been replaced, and it will probably take one to two hours to finish hanging it.

He raised his hand and turned the wheel, adjusting the drip speed to the lowest, then sat down on the bench next to him.

Chu Qingmian was sleeping very soundly, perhaps the side effects of the sedative had not yet worn off. Her face was a little pale, not as healthy as usual.

Su Chengyi carefully tucked in the raised corner of the quilt, then propped up his chin and stared at her eyelashes in a daze.

Of course, he was not in a hurry to wake up the young lady, because after today, it would be difficult to have such an opportunity to spend time together again.

Although Miss Chu looks like a soft-hearted person, she is always full of sympathy, as soft-hearted as a sponge, and very easy to talk to.

However, she is definitely not someone who would tolerate Shura Field.

Chu Qingmian has always been very resolute when it comes to his affairs.

In the past, she had fought against the whole family for him, and refused to give in.
Then, today she would definitely leave him resolutely.

In fact, it's the same on both sides. Chen Jinzhi, who seems harder to deceive, and Chu Qingmian, who seems easier to deceive, will have no room for maneuver once the truth is exposed.

But it’s better this way, Su Cheng thought.

Otherwise, he would have to rack his brains to think of some possible way to save the situation. Unlike now, he knows that it is a dead end, so he just needs to wait quietly for the death knell to ring.

To be honest, I didn’t expect that I was so optimistic.

Su Chengyi rested his elbows on the edge of the hospital bed, thinking about these messy things for a long time, until he felt slightly numb.

According to common sense, he should be immersed in many memories of the past at this time.

For example, the first meeting, the first time holding hands, the first hug, the first kiss, tears and smiles, heartbeat and heartache.

However, Su Chengyi's mind was blank at this moment.

It was like there was a hardworking scrubber who was diligently scrubbing his mind with an eraser.

Su Chengyi tried to remember something, to recollect something, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't think, and in the end he was just in a daze.

He couldn't help but wonder if this was a curse from the young lady, saying that if he changed his heart, she would confiscate his brain or something like that.

After all, she had always lost to him since she was a child, and she must have been holding a grudge about it for a long time, and she only wanted to turn him into a foolish and stupid idiot.

Su Chengyi thought so and looked up at the suspicious person on the hospital bed.

This sight made his heart skip a beat.

Chu Qingmian had woken up at some point and was staring at him with a pair of crystal-like eyes.

Su Chengyi's breathing stagnated for a while, and he spoke stiffly:

"Awake? Are you feeling better now?"

Chu Qingmian did not answer his question, but just blinked quietly.

Su Chengyi saw that her eyes seemed to indicate that she had something to say, so he moved a little closer and tilted his head to listen.

Chu Qingmian's warm breath hit his ear, causing a slight itch.

But she didn't have anything to say. Instead, she struggled to lift the quilt, hugged his neck, and buried her slightly hot face in his neck.

Su Chengyi was slightly stunned, then hugged her back and rubbed the top of her head out of habit.

The fructose smell in the eldest lady's hair well covered up the smell of medicine in the ward, like a ray of sunlight shining through the gap in the thick curtains.

"Su Chengyi, I seem to have had a very bad dream."

Chu Qingmian's voice was a little hoarse, probably because she had just woken up, she said sullenly.

Su Chengyi lowered her eyes and said "hmm", not knowing how to react, and not knowing whether the bad dream she was talking about was actually what happened today.

“But you’re here.”

Chu Qingmian raised her head, pushed him away for a distance, and looked into his eyes.

"In that case, it's probably not a dream."

Her eyes were much clearer than before, and as clear and pure as ever.

Su Chengyi couldn't lie to such a pair of eyes, so he nodded and replied:
"Ah."

"what."

Chu Qingmian sighed softly upon hearing this.

She stepped back a little, closing the intimate distance between them, and prepared for a formal conversation.

Chu Qingmian took many etiquette classes when he was a child. The etiquette teacher was very strict and little Chu Qingmian suffered a lot there, so he learned very well and was praised by almost everyone.

One of the classes included correcting conversation posture, and Chu Qingmian still remembers the teacher’s instructions.

Look each other in the face and listen to each other. Do not look around. Do not let your movements or postures reduce the audience's attention to what you are saying.
Although it was a habit that had been ingrained into his DNA over the years, Chu Qingmian now found it extremely difficult just to maintain the appearance.

It seemed that if just a speck of dust fell on her, all her disguises would collapse in an instant.

"The reason why Chen Jinzhi was involved in this kidnapping case was because of me."

Su Chengyi took a deep breath, straightened his back, and decided not to dodge anymore.

"Wu Shaobo knows the relationship between her and me, and also the relationship between you and me. What he is most passionate about and most interested in is forcing people to make choices. Because he cannot understand people's emotions, he is born with an antisocial personality.

So, after successfully kidnapping you, he contacted me immediately and asked me to choose between the two of you.

That’s why Chen Jinzhi is there, because she is the other end of the scale.”

"The relationship between you and her."

Chu Qingmian's expression did not change, he just murmured and repeated his words.

"Is the relationship between you and her the same as between you and me?"

"Yes. Same."

Su Chengyi's voice was obscure and he himself didn't know how he said these four words.

"So this is ah."

Chu Qingmian lowered his eyes and spoke softly as if talking to himself. After a while, he couldn't help but ask a question.

"When did it start?"

"From the beginning."

After Su Chengyi said this, he saw her eyelashes tremble rapidly, and suddenly he felt the blood vessels in his heart beat violently, causing severe pain.

"why."

Chu Qingmian lowered his head and grasped a corner of the quilt with both hands. The blue blood vessels connected to the needle were clearly visible on his fair skin.

Why is it like this? Why did you lie to her for so long when you clearly liked someone else? Why did you only let her know the truth now?

Su Chengyi knew clearly what the words she didn't ask were, so he could only give a weak apology as an answer.

"Sorry, it's all my fault."

"If that's the case, why did you save me?" Chu Qingmian's voice trembled slightly, but she was stubborn and refused to show weakness.

"Just keep me in the dark, isn't that good? Su Chengyi, since you want to lie to me, why don't you lie to the end?"

She had never spoken to Su Chengyi in such a tone before, like a stray kitten forced into a corner, finally raising its trembling claws towards the person who hurt it.

"You saved me, but you want me to face all this? You have been lying to me and betraying me all this time. Is this the result you want me to see?"

"The kidnapping was an accident. Since he made such a request, I had no choice but to do it."

When Su Chengyi answered, he tried his best not to look into Chu Qingmian's eyes, otherwise he probably wouldn't be able to utter a single word.

"Your safety is the most important thing. I can't think of these issues anymore. I can only try my best to save you first, and think of other things later.

Now, it’s later.”

Having said this, he paused before continuing:
"I won't lie to you again. I'll tell you anything you want to ask me."

"What do you want me to ask you?"

Chu Qingmian said in a daze as he looked at the back of his hand which had turned slightly blue from the needle prick.

"I don't know. Maybe I don't want to ask anything."

Su Chengyi shook his head.

"But there are still some things I think you should know."

The ward was filled with the smell of disinfectant, and it was so quiet that you could hear the slight "tick-tick" sound of the watch hands.

Su Chengyi took a deep breath and said solemnly:

"I still like you, I'm sure of that."

"you do not like me."

Chu Qingmian curled the corners of his mouth and denied his words without hesitation.

"Su Chengyi, if you liked me even a little bit, you wouldn't treat me like this."

After she said this, she truly felt that everything in the present moment was real, not another bizarre dream.

The Su Chengyi in front of me is also real. Is he such a liar with superb acting skills?

Strange, Chu Qingmian thought.

Although she was rescued, she felt like she had fallen into another abyss, enveloped by a feeling of weightlessness from head to toe.

The light and shadow in the ward were intertwined, just as confused and confusing as her mood at the moment.

"I am greedy and have a bad temper. I am very sorry for you."

Su Chengyi lowered his head, still not daring to look at her pale face and lifeless pupils.

"You know what, Su Chengyi."

Chu Qingmian slowly stretched out her hand towards him, and the needle in her hand was moved along with her movements, but she was unaware of it.

She lifted Su Chengyi's chin, forcing him to look at her.

"I don't hate you for lying to me. I hate that you didn't dare to look me in the eyes when you lied to me."

In fact, there are many things that I should have known earlier, Chu Qingmian thought.

Zhi Jinchen and Chen Jinzhi, Yi Chuang Su and Su Chengyi.

How could I not notice any clues? It's nothing but self-deception when the time comes.

Su Chengyi was obviously not good at lying. He had been lying all the way, but he probably only deceived her.

Many people knew about it, but she was the only one who was kept in the dark, and still thought that there would be a long future between them.

Little did I know that her heart had already been divided half with someone else, that the words I said to her had also been said to another person, and that when I looked into her eyes I always thought of another person.

When I smiled and pinched her face, I was probably thinking that she was so easy to fool.

Chu Qingmian sighed softly, and the quilt on the bed was soaked with tears, like falling raindrops.

She thought she wouldn't cry, but the tears seemed out of her control.

Su Cheng had seen Chu Qingmian cry many times. She had a low tear point and would burst into tears over the slightest thing, and she couldn't stop crying for a long time.

But never was it like this time, there was no sobbing, the tears just flowed silently, as if she herself didn't know she was crying.

Every tear seemed to hit his heart, and Su Chengyi felt that just breathing caused a dull pain in his chest.

Chu Qingmian actually still had a lot of questions he wanted to ask, but many of his previous confusions and doubts had been resolved after knowing the ending.

But there is still one question that she still can't figure out.

"Su Chengyi, you said that if it's not so profound and unforgettable, it's not love, right?"

Chu Qingmian's eyes were red, and she just looked at him and asked.

Her question seemed to be completely confusing, but perhaps only the three people at the center of the Shura Field could understand what it meant.

In fact, people often say that green plums cannot compare to plums sent from heaven, and this is the reason.

Because the fall from the sky appears suddenly in life, like a huge rock smashing into the water, causing ripples in the originally calm life.

The impact that such feelings bring to people will never appear in a long-lasting relationship like that of childhood sweethearts.

What's more, the person falling from the sky is Chen Jinzhi. Her level can no longer be described as a boulder, it is simply a meteorite, or an asteroid hitting the earth.

"Should I cut open this heart and show it to you to prove that we are equal?"

Chu Qingmian asked this question with tears in her eyes. This is also the question that the childhood sweetheart in every triangle relationship can ask to the male protagonist who leans towards her.

Su Chengyi's breathing paused for a moment because he had no way to answer this question.

The lyrics of "Spring and Autumn" read:

I don't deserve to regret that I didn't feel sad for you, and you didn't walk thousands of miles with me, which is not enough to continue the story.

How can I have worries if my life has not been rewritten by you? I have not been hurt or hated by you, so that my love history will become a piece of waste paper.

Although Su Chengyi believed that his feelings were absolutely equal, in fact, his heart had been biased from the moment Qingmei turned to Tianjiang.

However, he couldn't help but have such a bias. He and Chen Jinzhi had experienced so much that they could trust each other with life and death.

But this is not fair to Chu Qingmian, because her love will not decrease even a little bit.

The bond between Su Chengyi and Chu Qingmian is definitely not shallow, but in comparison, it will always lack a bit of heroism.

When Chu Qingmian recalled the ties and fate they had experienced over the years, she felt that Su Chengyi had almost occupied her entire life.

The string of roasted rice cake that she had finally taken but had only one bite taken of when she was a toddler, the Go game that was turned into a five-money game, the little blind man in sunglasses who suddenly appeared and defeated the song "The Bell" that she had practiced for a long time with his song "Autumn Moon over the Han Palace", the many sideways glances she had peeked at in her youth when she was just beginning to fall in love, and the young man who suddenly rushed onto the stage under the gaze of all the teachers and students in the school at the oath-taking ceremony.

Where Su Chengyi couldn't see, Chu Qingmian quietly took ninety-nine steps towards him. She once thought that was the last step he would take towards her.

However, the Spring and Autumn Annals only reprinted important events.

Everything that happened yesterday is like water, leaving no trace.

(End of this chapter)