Don’t be a licking dog when you are reborn.

Chapter 149 Warm Notes (2 in 1)

Add a pair of chopsticks?

Wang Yaqin on the other end of the phone was obviously stunned for a moment.

The lights in the room were not turned on, and her face was hidden in the shadows that could not be illuminated by the setting sun. Her eyes reflected a little light, making her gaze look dim and unclear.

The conversation between mother and daughter fell into silence again.

The two seemed to have gotten used to this silence.

It seems like a silent confrontation, but also like an uncompromising struggle.

"I know, let's talk about it when you get home."

Similar words again.

Nuan Nuan has often heard Wang Yaqin say this kind of thing since she was a child.

Let’s talk about it when we get home.

Let’s talk about it later.

I'll take care of you when I get home, wait...

What can I say when I go home?

It was nothing more than beatings and scoldings. After Wang Yaqin completed the operation, her weak body recovered a lot.

She is stronger now than she was in her senior year of high school.

So Nuan Nuan was even thinking, will he be beaten after he goes back?

"it is good."

Toot toot! ~

The call was hung up, and Nuan Nuan put away the phone expressionlessly.

He didn't sigh or look sad. Doing those things would only make Ji Feng worried.

She was still on the highway, and she didn't want Ji Feng to be distracted by these things while driving.

Wen Nuan looked out the car window quietly, looking at the sunset and sunset.

A bath of light fell on his face.

Quiet as ever.

Just like the school window when she was in high school.

In fact, during the summer vacation, when Nuan Nuan took his mother Wang Yaqin to Jinling for surgery, the relationship between mother and daughter had eased a lot.

So much so that Nuan Nuan once thought that they might slowly become an ordinary, normal mother and daughter.

pity……

Huang Jihai's phone call broke everything.

From Huang Jihai, Wang Yaqin learned that Nuan Nuan did not go to Qingbei.

"Damn girl, how dare you?"

Wang Yaqin had never scolded Nuan Nuan for a while, because Nuan Nuan had begun to learn to refute and resist after gaining income.

But that day, everything seemed to come back to square one.

Nuan Nuan did not refute again, and she didn't know how to refute.

It has been Wang Yaqin's wish and her dream for more than ten years to have Nuannuan admitted to Qingbei University.

It is also something that Nuan Nuan has been insisting on and struggling with for more than ten years. It is the most "correct" thing that Wang Yaqin has always taught her.

But in the end, Nuan Nuan did not choose Qingbei, but went to the Magic City to pursue Monsoon.

This was the first time in her life that she decided on something by herself.

However, this incident is another major event that can almost determine fate.

Confirming the matter of going to Modu University was actually earlier than taking Wang Yaqin for surgery.

This matter had been decided as early as when Ji Feng told her that she would be admitted to Shanghai University of Science and Technology after the graduation season.

In fact, it doesn't matter whether it is Modu University, Jiangcheng University, or other worse universities.

It doesn't matter for the warmth.

At this moment, she has decided to find Monsoon, no matter where.

No one can imagine the warmth that has been quiet, obedient, and well-behaved for more than ten years.

To be able to do such an almost crazy act.

As she said when she put her head on Monsoon's back:

"Why should I leave you at the best age?"

That was her cowardly courage, her budding heartbeat without hesitation.

But this time without hesitation, the dream of her mother Wang Yaqin was completely shattered.

Nuan Nuan did not tell Monsoon these things.

I'm always happy when I'm at school.

She didn't want those happy times to be mixed into the shadow of her original family, nor did she want Ji Feng's taking-off career to be interfered with by her.

Her past is in pieces.

But now, she needs to pay the price for her choice, and this price is to face her mother.

With Ji Feng's keenness, he already felt something was wrong when Nuan Nuan called.

So he didn't mention anything like where to go first. From the phone call Wen Nuan answered just now, many things had already been determined.

He even asked for a pair of chopsticks, so they must have been given to him.

But the look on Nuan Nuan's eyes made Ji Feng slightly worried.

The mother-in-law's situation seems to be difficult.

"Where is the house you rent?"

Ji Feng's sudden inquiry made Nuan Nuan, who was originally absent-minded, stunned.

"In Guanghua Community, Building 21, Unit 1, 901."

"It's the Chinese New Year. You can't go over empty-handed. Your mother is sick. Should you stop smoking and drink?"

"Well, she doesn't have the habit of smoking or drinking."

“That’s fine, there’s a New Year’s gift box in the trunk, but I still need to buy some milk, health products and the like.

Go back and wait until you are near the community to see if there are any shops or small supermarkets and go in to buy some. "

Listening to Ji Feng make arrangements to go home with him.

Nuan Nuan's slightly cool mood now felt a little more warm.

When he needs Monsoon, he will do most of the things.

It's so comfortable every time.

By chance, they had arrived at the expressway exit, the car slowed down, and Nuan Nuan rested his head on Ji Feng's shoulder.

It was actually quite uncomfortable to lean over from the passenger seat, but she just wanted to lean over.

"I'm a little scared."

"Afraid that your mother will embarrass me?"

Nuan Nuan rubbed Ji Feng's shoulder with his head, like a lazy kitten:

"Ah."

The feeling of being guessed by Ji Feng every time is actually not bad.

"The last time I saw your mother was in high school. I had a good impression at that time. Maybe your mother will like me."

"My mother...is different. She can pretend."

camouflage?

This word is not a good word to use to describe your own mother.

"I understand." Ji Feng nodded.

He didn't say something like "I understand" because he really couldn't understand.

You can often find controlling parents who are very controlling on the Internet. Generally speaking, mothers are more common.

These extremely controlling parents often do things that look scary to outsiders.

Don't persuade others to be kind to others without suffering.

Ji Feng has never experienced such a repressive native family, so he can't express his feelings without shame.

He just felt sorry for the warmth.

"I'm afraid mom will do something to make you unhappy or embarrassed."

Wen Nuan's voice was low, and Ji Feng knew that she was inoculating herself.

"What's the reason?"

"My mother always wanted me to go to Qingbei. That was her obsession."

"Are you afraid that I will be angry with her?"

"No."

"That?"

"I don't want to see you being wronged."

Usually boys don't want to see their girlfriends being wronged.

And after she really likes him, the same goes for girls. She also doesn't want to see Ji Feng being wronged, even if it's because of her own affairs.

"Maybe it's not that bad? We haven't met yet. Maybe she will like me very much if we do."

"Ah."

Ji Feng took the time to touch Nuan Nuan's head.

In fact, what he wanted to say just now was that it didn't matter even if he was really wronged or angry. It was impossible for him to clamor for a breakup just because of such a little setback.

I didn't say that just because I didn't want this meeting to cast another shadow.

The car drove all the way to the vicinity of Guanghua Community.

Ji Feng found a small supermarket and bought some milk and health products according to the normal door-to-door procedures.

An autistic girl like Nuan Nuan basically doesn't know anything about door-to-door matters.

She has never dated other boyfriends, and she doesn’t go online to see how others talk about their partners. In short, she can’t do anything just stand out.

The car drove into the community and found a parking space in front of the building to park.

This parking space was not his own, so Ji Feng left the car moving phone number.

I came to Unit 1 with warmth and took the elevator to the 9th floor.

During this short journey, the autistic girl's body inevitably became tense. Her fingers holding Ji Feng were much tighter than before, and her palms were full of sweat.

Arriving at the door of 901, Nuan Nuan raised his hand and hesitated.

Just as he was about to knock on the door, the door of 901 suddenly opened.

The warm mother Wang Yaqin just stood at the door with a smile on her face, as if she had been waiting here, waiting for the movement at the door, waiting to open the door for them.

The atmosphere suddenly became a little cold.

When Wang Yaqin looked at Nuan Nuan, her eyes stayed on Nuan Nuan's legs for a moment.

The surprise in her eyes was very obvious. It seemed that Nuan Nuan did not tell her about the injury.

But her eyes finally stopped on Nuan He and Ji Feng's clasped fingers.

It's not that Ji Feng wants to show affection to his parents again, it's that Wen Nuan has been unwilling to let go.

"Mom, I'm back."

Wang Yaqin narrowed her eyes slightly, but did not respond to the warmth. Instead, she turned to look at Ji Feng beside her:

"Classmate Ji Feng, it's been a long time no see."

"Hello, auntie, it's been a long time indeed."

"Come in quickly, come in quickly, the food will be ready soon."

Wang Yaqin's voice was still gentle and her attitude seemed friendly, just like when Ji Feng saw her several times before.

And Nuan Nuan himself is just like the last time he was in that small village house in the city.

worrying and nervous.

Ji Feng has always felt that a warm mother is not that scary.

At least he didn't feel that terrible.

But he also understood that his feelings were nothing compared to the feelings he had felt for more than ten years.

This kind of thing doesn't need to be disguised.

Approaching the house, Ji Feng carried the gift inside.

"Well, Auntie, these are some gifts..."

"Oh, why did you buy so many things? Seriously, go sit down over there, take a rest and watch TV."

"It's all thoughts."

"You go and sit for a while, I'm still frying vegetables in the pot."

"okay."

Ji Feng kept smiling and polite, but he still felt strange, very strange.

Because from the time they walked in until now, apart from the words "Mom, I'm back" when they opened the door, there has not been a single direct communication between Wen Nuan and Wang Yaqin.

Wang Yaqin ignored Wen Nuan, and Wen Nuan seemed to have no intention of continuing to talk to Wang Yaqin.

If you don't know something about them, anyone will wonder, are they really mother and daughter?

After being pulled all the way to the sofa by Wen Nuan, Ji Feng just sat down when a voice came from the kitchen:

"Xiao Nuan, come here to help. Don't keep the guests waiting."

Hearing this urging, Nuan Nuan's fingers trembled obviously.

When Ji Feng heard this, he got up and went to help. After all, Nuan Nuan's legs were still injured, so it was still very inconvenient to go to the kitchen to help.

Before he could stand up, Nuan Nuan raised his hand and held him down:

"Monsoon, you stay here."

"Do you have something to say to your mother alone?"

Nuan Nuan nodded silently without making a sound.

Ji Feng pondered for a moment, then tightened the hand that Nuan Nuan had not let go:

"okay, I get it."

Wen Nuan let go of his hand in relief, and just turned around to leave on crutches, but suddenly stopped.

She bit her lip, her expression hesitant to speak.

Occasionally when he raises his eyebrows and looks at himself, he really looks like a little golden retriever who has made a mistake! ~

Ji Feng felt helpless when he saw her like this:

"Okay, I can't stand your expression. If you have anything else, you can tell me directly."

"Ji Feng, either... you can wait in my room, the one on the right."

Ji Feng looked at the room that Wen Nuan pointed to and sighed slightly in his heart. He probably understood what Wen Wen meant. Next was their mother and daughter's heart-to-heart talk time.

Not everything can be solved through him.

Nuan Nuan is also an independent individual. Some things between their mother and daughter must ultimately be resolved by themselves.

The autistic girl saw that Ji Feng remained silent, thinking that he did not agree.

Then he began to look at Ji Feng, and there was a hint of pleading in his peach blossom-like eyes.

warmth:(-)

OK OK.

How could you refuse with this little look?

"Ok."

After watching Wen Nuan walk to the kitchen, Ji Feng turned around and walked towards the room she pointed to just now.

As soon as he reached the door, Ji Feng subconsciously turned the door handle.

But when he reached out to hold the door handle, he realized that the door was unlocked.

It’s not that it’s not locked, it’s that it’s not locked.

The handle is hollow and very light.

With just a slight push, the door can be pushed open.

Ji Feng hesitated for a moment, took a step back and looked next door.

The door next door has a normal door handle. The two doors are of the same style and look 80% new. It's really not as good as the one next door. There's no lock on the door here.

Ji Feng looked down again and saw obvious signs of damage around the door lock.

"Did someone pry open the lock cylinder?"

Ji Feng subconsciously looked back at the kitchen.

Nuan Nuan said this was her own room. She couldn't be wrong about this kind of thing, right?

So, was it Wang Yaqin who broke the door lock of the room?

Unlocked door…

When you open the door, you will see a touch of sky blue, sky blue sheets, and sky blue curtains.

Just like the sky that warmth has always been longing for.

Everything was well kept and very clean.

But weird.

Maybe it's because I haven't lived there long, or maybe it's for other reasons, but there is no trace or breath of warmth that makes the monsoon feel here, and it's not even as good as 409.

Very deserted place.

She let herself wait here, then wait.

The monsoon opened the curtains and let the remaining light of the sunset shine into this house.

The dim sunset falls on the blue sky, reflecting the colors of blue and green.

These colors are sprinkled on the desk, although it is simple.

But it is also a green book and a green volume, full of the aroma of books.

The desk is connected to the bookshelf, which contains many things that Wen Nuan prepared while preparing for the exam.

It must have been since I went to college that I haven't come back to clean up.

Ji Feng did not sit on the bed, but turned around and sat in front of the desk, casually looking down at the drawer.

This glance made his eyes narrow again.

The lock cylinders of the two drawers had been pried open, leaving obvious holes there, which looked very uncomfortable.

Ji Feng's mouth curled downwards.

I heard Wen Nuan talk about how scary her mother Wang Yaqin was several times, but Ji Feng never had any intuitive feelings.

After meeting several times, Wang Yaqin gave him a very gentle feeling.

Just like a normal parent.

So Ji Feng never quite understands why Wen Nuan is so resistant to his mother.

When he was in that urban village, because the room was too small and there was no private space at all, he couldn't find out anything.

But now I saw the door lock that had been pried open, and the drawer with the lock cylinder smashed in front of me.

Ji Feng suddenly understood something.

But only part of it.

A controlling mother will not allow her children to be outside of her control.

In the eyes of such parents, what kind of child’s room is there?

Even the child itself is hers.

What’s the point of talking about privacy when it’s your own stuff?

Ji Feng hesitated for a moment, then took out his mobile phone and searched online.

[Characteristics of a controlling mother]

1: [Make the child feel guilty. 】

This warmth has always been there.

2: [Will not give children the opportunity to make their own decisions. 】

Hit again.

3: [No sense of boundaries. 】

Ji Feng took one look at the broken lock and said no more.

4: [Their love has conditions, otherwise they can’t have sex. 】

Another hit.

5: [The child needs to please her all the time. 】

This is something Nuan Nuan has been insisting on for more than ten years.

6: [I don’t care about my children’s feelings at all. I often say that this is all for your own good. 】

OK, all hits.

Well, Ji Feng suddenly understood the netizen’s message when searching just now.

[Hurt in the name of love is the most poisonous knife between relatives. 】

Ji Feng put down his phone and frowned.

He rubbed his fingers unconsciously and suddenly remembered what happened in his previous life.

There was no dream in the warmth of the past.

She has been living step by step.

Wang Yaqin's request is her dream.

If I didn't change, and if I didn't take away the warmth, everything would just continue as planned.

What happens with warmth?

The first thing is money. If her mother Wang Yaqin doesn't have money, she won't be able to survive for long.

She will die.

If Wang Yaqin dies of illness, will Nuan Nuan regain his freedom and find himself?

Or have you lost your originally planned life goals and completely lost the direction to move forward?

She has already given up on this world. Does death count as relief?

Isn’t it such a coincidence that the time of my rebirth came back...

Ji Feng's heart suddenly throbbed inexplicably.

He urgently wants to know something, something warm, and he wants to understand some of Warm's past in more detail.

Ji Feng looked at the warm drawer. He was always resolute, but he was a little hesitant at this moment.

But in the end, he put his fingers on the broken lock core and pulled the drawer out.

The drawers are also neat.

On the left are medicines, in the middle is a notebook, and on the right are pens and some small tools.

Ji Feng pondered for a moment, then took out several medicine boxes on the left.

【Fluoxetine】【Ibuprofen】【Sertraline】【Paroxetine】

Ji Feng had heard the names of [Fluoxetine] and [Ibuprofen], so he had some vague guesses about the effects of these drugs.

But he still picked up the pill box and looked at it carefully.

really!

Three antidepressants and one painkiller.

After hesitating for a moment, he finally opened the pill box.

There are 12 capsules on a plate, 8 of them have been picked out, and some of them must have been eaten.

Staring at the medicine tablet in his hand, Ji Feng suddenly thought of many things.

Suddenly there was some blood on his head.

Even his memory suddenly began to attack him.

The fragments of that memory gradually became clear and frozen.

That was the scene when Ji Feng came to the village in the city for the second time, that is, the first time he licked his face and ran to find Nuan Nuan to make up lessons.

Nuan Nuan was carrying a lot of vegetables, food, and medicine in his hands.

A big bag full.

Because after experiencing Tiantai's confession, Nuan Nuan's attitude toward him changed drastically, and she would even stand up for him and fight against Li Long.

The warmth at that time gave everyone a feeling.

Monsoon is her special case.

But when Ji Feng went to find her to make up lessons, when he wanted to help Nuan Nuan carry things, Nuan Nuan said to him very coldly:

"Need not."

At that time, Wen Nuan's indifference and determination made Ji Feng very embarrassed.

Thinking about it now, maybe the warmth at that time was just because she didn't want him to know that she was taking medicine.

In that bag, except for the heart disease medicine that Wang Yaqin took.

And antidepressants to warm yourself up.

He remembered the orange box in front of him.

"She must have had low self-esteem at that time, but now she..."

Boom! ~

Ji Feng slammed the bench, took a deep breath, and quickly calmed down.

After a brief pause, he began to analyze and think.

"No, after arriving at university, Nuan Nuan didn't take any medicine when we were together, that's for sure.

So the time to take medicine is before college..."

The time Nuannuan and her mother moved here was after she proposed a different place to live and before the graduation season.

In other words, Nuan Nuan made some decisions even during her college entrance examination.

She might still be taking medicine.

Perhaps that ambiguous move after the graduation season was something she had accumulated courage for several months before making.

How stupid!

Ji Feng put down the medicine box and picked up the warm notebook.

Going through other people's drawers is already very inhumane, but going through a notebook is even more inhumane.

If it were the previous monsoon, I would even feel bored and childish.

But now, he just wants to see...

Opening the notebook, the beginning is the performance record from the first year of high school, Nuan Nuan recorded his age test ranking.

In the first monthly exam for her freshman year of high school, she ranked 67th in her grade.

Her grades were very good from the very beginning, but they were only good, not the best.

Because most people's eyes are focused on the top 50 competition, it is not surprising that the main points will be deducted, Chinese and English, just as she said.

Subsequent records will also be recorded once a month.

From the warm scores of 60, 40, 30, and 20, I started to improve rapidly, which was amazing.

By the end of the first year of high school, Nuan Nuan's results were finally settled on 12th place in the whole grade.

In her notes, several names that Ji Feng was familiar with gradually appeared.

Gu Xueting, Yan Honghao.

Both of these people have ranked first in their age group, and more than once.

They became the targets of Nuan Nuan's pursuit.

This part of the notes is not a diary, but more like a study record book. There is no mention of anything about warm emotions and life.

In this way, she maintains a record of her own growth.

The monthly exam results are recorded until March 3, the senior year of high school.

[First in my grade]

Ji Feng suddenly laughed when he saw this record. Looking at this notebook all the way through, he had the illusion that he was watching the warmth grow.

Watching her go from being ranked in her 60s to number one.

And the record is different from the previous "age XX name".

This time, Nuan Nuan emphasized the words "I am number one in my grade".

"She must have been very proud at that time."

Ji Feng turned to the next page and five words came into view.

【I was beaten. 】

Monsoon: (_)! ?

So, this is the first impression he gave to Nuan Nuan?

He didn't take action at that time...

Alas, just thinking about it makes me feel like I am nothing.

Continuing to turn the pages, there are gradually more things in the original study notes.

[He bought too much food. 】

[He bought too much food. 】

[He must be very bad at math. He always buys too much food every time. 】

[Sure enough, he asked me to help him with tutoring because he was not good at math. He was very stupid. 】

Seeing this, Ji Feng couldn't help but raise the corners of his mouth.

笨？

Haha, high-end hunters always appear in the form of prey.

On the next page, Ji Feng's eyes narrowed slightly, and he finally saw what he was looking for in the first place.

[I wanted to die, but he said I didn’t want to, so I didn’t die. 】

……

[I’ve been feeling a little annoyed lately, feeling anxious for no reason every day. I bought some paroxetine, which I heard can relieve anxiety. 】

[I forgot to take sertraline today, but I’m not unhappy. It’s strange. 】

……

[Paroxetine is useless at all. I still feel inexplicably irritable every day and my money is wasted. 】

[I dreamed about someone other than my mother, Ji Feng. 】

Here, Ji Feng saw his name for the first time.

Even though I knew "he" was me before, I saw the change from "him" to the name Ji Feng.

He was still a little emotional.

With curiosity, keep turning the pages.

[Ji Feng is very kind to me. I can feel his attentiveness. He feels very comfortable when he squeezes my feet. His expression is very strange. 】

[I am despicable and unworthy of his kindness to me. 】

……

[It’s a bit annoying to change my appearance, some people started to like me, but I just think these people are noisy, they are not Monsoon. 】

[I learned that the school Ji Feng wanted to attend was not the same school or city as the one I wanted to attend. 】

……

【I made money. 】

[My mother made a concession, and I know it was because of money. 】

……

[Ji Feng said he would take me to the graduation party, but he forgot to take my medicine, but he was very happy. 】

[I like that yellow and blue dress, and I also like the way Ji Feng looks at me. 】

[I am more beautiful than before, will he like me? 】

……

[Today is a very happy day, but maybe I took too many medicines and couldn’t say what I wanted to say. 】

【I like him. 】

　Could you please give me a monthly pass or something? Thank you.

　　

　

(End of this chapter)