Classmate Li Zhuangsheng doesn’t want to be reborn

“Others are others, and you are you.” Qin Luanyu stared intently at Li Zhuangsheng. “What exactly happened between you and Hu Mengdie?”

Li Zhuangsheng bit his lip and stammered, "You...you already guessed it, didn't you..."

“I think I know that what you say is a different matter from what I’m saying yourself,” Qin Luanyu said calmly. “I think the most important thing in a relationship is mutual trust. No matter what happens, you have to believe that the other person will accept and understand, and think from each other’s perspective. You won’t be disappointed because of this, and you won’t drift away because of this.”

Li Zhuangsheng was momentarily stunned.

His relationship with Li Xiuyu was somewhat like that, but most of the time they didn't need to say much; they just understood each other.

"I know it's embarrassing." Qin Luanyu smiled again, her bright eyes shining with a lightness, like the wind blowing through flowers in spring. "However, if you're willing to tell me the truth, I'll tell you a secret. The biggest secret about me so far. Why I came here, what I really want to do, you really want to know, otherwise you wouldn't be at ease."

Li Zhuangsheng remained silent. In the end, the relationship between the two had progressed too quickly. From Li Zhuangsheng's perspective at this moment, the two had only known each other for a few days.

Despite this, he felt very comfortable and natural when communicating with Qin Luanyu, as if it were only natural for them to talk about anything.

After hesitating for a long time with his head down, Li Zhuangsheng raised his head and met Qin Luanyu's encouraging eyes.

"Actually... there's not much to say. I'm just... sigh... Hu Mengdie and I were a mistake from the start!"

Li Zhuangsheng scratched his head and sighed. He recounted the events that had occurred between the two of them, though he himself felt that some of his words were too subjective, focusing on self-criticism.

"...I see." Qin Luanyu listened with a serious expression and nodded repeatedly.

"You also think I've gone a bit too far, right?" Li Zhuangsheng said with a bitter face.

He thought to himself that Qin Luanyu was also a girl. If she heard that he had cheated on her, abandoned his wife, refused to reconcile, and made personal attacks on her, she would also feel that she was wrong!
“I don’t think you’ve actually done anything wrong,” Qin Luanyu said, tilting her head. “Your affair was just a misunderstanding. Besides, didn’t Hu Mengdie reject you first that night? Your relationship with Hu Mengdie stemmed from her own attitude. Since you have no memory of being with her, and she rejected you, then you are practically strangers. How can your relationship with Hu Mengke be considered an affair? You haven’t wronged her. She can reject you, and you can reject her. With such a high divorce rate these days, divorce is practically the norm. People who initiate divorce have done nothing wrong.”

"..."

Li Zhuangsheng listened in silence, his thoughts unknown. “Actually, you know what? I’m actually quite hypocritical.” After a long silence, Li Zhuangsheng muttered softly, scratching his head. “I knew from the beginning that she didn’t like me. That night, I wanted to borrow her phone to call home, but she wouldn’t lend it to me because she was afraid I’d see her phone wallpaper. I was probably drunk that night, cold and hungry, and she didn’t say a word to me, just let me leave alone… I didn’t realize it at the time, but I understood the next day that she was disgusted with me. She didn’t want to acknowledge this relationship. At first, both families wanted to persuade us to be together, and I was quite happy then. I was secretly delighted, and even had a little bit of expectation… Actually, I was wrong from the beginning. I wasn’t sincere from the start. I just thought, wow, this is like something out of an anime, what if, what if she falls for me… I didn’t follow any of my principles. Why didn’t I insist on breaking up back then? Why did I fantasize like a clown about an impossible anime plot? I hate that lustful version of myself, fantasizing about doing this and that with Hu Mengdie in the future. It was so despicable!”

“I really… hate that version of myself. I feel like Hu Mengdie was just being blamed…” Li Zhuangsheng slowly shook his head, “It’s just because I was overthinking things.”

Qin Luanyu gently placed her hand on his shoulder: "What are you thinking about?"

"I feel like this shouldn't be the case. To use a recent meme, this isn't how it works in visual novels! She's not my heroine, she's definitely not my heroine... I'm furious. Why isn't she my heroine? If she's not my heroine, why do we have this kind of bond? We have this kind of bond, so why isn't she my heroine?"

"When she confessed her feelings to me, I suddenly thought, is she really my leading lady? But what leading lady would snuggle in another man's arms! How disgusting! Why does my leading lady have to be someone who has lost her virginity? No, should women be discriminated against just because they've had a boyfriend? No, what's wrong with a woman having been in a relationship? But why did I have to be the one in this situation!"

Li Zhuangsheng became more and more excited as he spoke, his face turning a dark red, like molten lava churning beneath a volcano.

"Why didn't she choose me from the beginning?" Li Zhuangsheng gritted his teeth fiercely.

"You don't dislike her, do you?" Qin Luanyu smiled faintly, her eyes lowered. "I remember you mentioned to me that there was a school beauty in your high school, who was incredibly beautiful. If she lived in ancient times, she would definitely be recorded in history books as having 'national beauty.' She could also dance, and half of the boys in the school had a crush on her. You liked her too, which is why you're still resentful."

"Yeah... I don't know why I feel this way. If she didn't like me, I really wouldn't care at all, I really wouldn't care. At most, I'd feel a little embarrassed about my little feelings. But why did she have to like me? Why is she so late? Am I a garbage collector?"

“I understand. The regret in life isn’t about not having something, but about what could have been… Since she liked you, why couldn’t she have liked you from the beginning? Why didn’t you get her completely? Although I don’t particularly care, I can understand how you feel. After all, I’m a little sad too…”

“She doesn’t actually like me… I think it’s more like she’s grasping at straws in desperation.” Li Zhuangsheng licked his lips. “I heard it’s because she knows Qi Haoyu is a jerk. It’s like some people who cheat and get dumped, they often go back and beg their ex for forgiveness. I don’t know the principle behind it, maybe it’s because she subconsciously has a serious lack of self-confidence and insecurity, and wants to prove that she is worthy of being loved.”

"So, since you can accept Hu Mengke, are you planning to accept Hu Mengdie as well?"

"No, if I accept her, wouldn't I seem really despicable?"

Li Zhuangsheng clenched his fists, growling in shame and anger. Suddenly, his lips were sealed by something warm and moist, carrying a faint floral scent. (End of Chapter)