Alice in the Land of Steam

Chapter 1281 Am I the weak one?
After several months away, Metien finally returned to Yunjingkong Island. When she set foot on this dream land again, she found that her memory of it was a little strange. It was only such a short period of time, why did it feel so far away?

This feeling was the same for everyone on Yunjingkong Island. Since receiving a letter from Metien, in which she mentioned that she would soon return to Huiqiu with the rebel army and would soon be able to reunite with everyone, everyone, including Lingge, had been looking forward to her return. But was this girl really the Metien we remembered? Except for Lingge, everyone else had the same thought in their minds when they saw Metien. She looked much thinner and silent, standing there alone, with a haze between her brows that was hard to disperse, like a cloudy day.

She would smile and nod to everyone who greeted her. When the landlady touched her cheek with heartache and complained, "Why have you lost so much weight? Did you not eat and rest well?", she would tell her that she had always kept a regular schedule, but she might not be able to eat the meals cooked by the landlady, so she lost so much weight, which made her feel touched and guilty. She would also listen patiently with a calm and gentle smile when Saint Xia Liya held her hand and told her about what happened in Yunjingkong Island during the time you were away, but she always showed a trance-like expression when the other person was not noticing, because these ordinary daily routines were always mixed with the blood, the wounds and the lives that had left forever, which made her suddenly feel sad.

Others were only surprised at the girl's appearance change, but after the explanation of the Countess and Sister Livia, they understood that Metien worked day and night to treat the wounded and even forced herself to learn a lot of knowledge that she had never been exposed to before. Although they still felt a little distressed, they understood her choice. After all, this was Metien's original purpose of leaving Yunjingkong Island. If she didn't change after going through so many things, then it wouldn't be considered growth, right?
Only Lingge can perceive that the real change does not come from the appearance, but from the heart. The girl who once thought she needed his protection all her life is experiencing the longest and perhaps the most profound emotional change in her life, and what can he, as a brother, do for her?

He did nothing but walked over, stretched out his hand, and gently stroked the girl's head. Perhaps due to overwork, her hair was a little dry and not as soft and smooth as before.

This action is like still treating Metien as a little girl. Once, Metien told her brother firmly that she wanted to be an adult. So, Lingge respected her choice and never made similar actions again. The reason why it was repeated today is that the young man knows that the most desired thing for every child after becoming an adult is that everyone still treats him as a child.

From a child longing to become an adult, and from an adult longing to become a child again, human emotions are such a complex thing, weaker than a snowflake and more fickle than a firefly.

"Lingge." The girl raised her head and looked at her brother in confusion, as if she expected to get a piece of advice from him, just like in the past, which guided her countless times to think, to understand, and finally, to prove herself: "I..."

I don't know if I have really grown a little bit? Is that worth being happy about? Or did I give up something to gain it? If I still feel a little lost, can you please tell me the answer I want to know the most...

"Anyway," the young man skipped this process and went straight to the most heartwarming ending of the story. He rubbed his sister's head vigorously until her short pink hair became a mess, as if she had just gotten up in the morning and had not had time to wash her face and comb her hair. He smiled calmly, "Welcome home, Metien."

The pink-haired girl was silent for a long time because of this sentence. She looked at her brother and the people around her. After everyone knew that I was coming back, they had been looking forward to it, right? The traveler who left home went further and further away, but he would eventually return to the starting point.

The corners of her mouth twitched, an expression that showed that she wanted to laugh but couldn't, wanted to cry but didn't dare to. But why was she laughing, why was she crying? Perhaps only the girl herself knew: "Yeah."

"I am back."

……

It was of course a happy thing for Metien to return to Yunjingkong Island, and the proprietress immediately decided to hold a banquet for her to celebrate. However, when everyone was preparing for the banquet, the girl followed her brother to the small cemetery behind Tianxin Church. She held a wooden box tightly in her hand, which contained the ashes of the dead in the war - known or unknown.

Some deceased people will leave a will to send their remains or ashes back to their hometown. They are lucky because at least they know where they are going. For those who are homeless or unwilling to return home, Yunjingkong Island may be a suitable destination. The sun is shining and the flowers are blooming. It has everything they wanted when they were alive, and it allows them to have it all after death.

But no matter whether it is the former or the latter, they will eventually fall into a deep sleep in the Goddess's lightless sea until the next time they open their eyes and wake up. This is Medien's selfish wish and also the most sincere blessing for them.

Under the diligent care of the goblins and stone elves gardeners, the 132 oak seedlings that were planted have now grown into mature trees. The new young leaves are gently waving in the wind, allowing people to imagine how strong they will be when they grow up, providing shade for the tombstones in the woods, bringing remoteness and tranquility.

Linge and Medien did not ask anyone else for help. The two siblings worked together to dig a new grave next to the original tombstone, carefully buried the wooden box containing the ashes in it, and then refilled it with soil.

Thus, there are 82 more innocent souls in the embrace of the oak forest, which means that 82 more saplings will be planted here, bearing the wishes of the deceased and the grief of the living. Perhaps, the life span of these trees will be much longer than that of the souls they entrust.

After burying the urn, Metien sat in front of the tombstone with her legs hugged, staring blankly at every cold word on the inscription, wondering what she was thinking. Linger did not disturb her because the young man was also a little absent-minded. He had already known the names and identities of the dead from Metien's narration, and naturally there were people he knew among them. Including the warriors who had met once in the Ash Guerrilla, including the young soldiers who played games with him in Tianxin Church, and several students who left here not long ago: Maurice and Enrique.

Linger certainly still had impressions of them, because he remembered every one of his students. The former was a little shy, but he was very serious in class and always raised his hand to ask questions. He was probably very interested in going to school, but unfortunately this interest was eventually overwhelmed by the flames of hatred, so he chose to follow Kyle and leave, becoming a warrior rather than a student. The latter was an optimistic and cheerful boy, with a smile on his face at all times, as if he had never had a sad moment. Linger still remembered that in that group photo, his smile should have been the most sincere and purest. But recalling it today, even that sincere and pure smile seemed to be faintly stained with a hint of sadness.

He didn't think the time was short, but he felt that fate was a little fickle. After such a short time, two vivid faces became a black and white photo in his memory. If he had stopped them at all costs, would the ending be better? There was no answer to such a question, and the young man was unwilling to continue thinking about it. He heard that Kyle stayed in Hector City and didn't come back. Maybe the big boy still felt guilty and didn't know how to face himself. Lingge could understand his feelings and knew that he didn't want to escape, but he just needed some time to prepare himself mentally.

"They wouldn't have died."

Metien suddenly said sadly.

Linger glanced at his sister, but she didn't react at all. She just whispered to herself, "When they were sent to the hospital, Kyle begged me to save them, and I wanted to save them, too. But their injuries were too serious. If I used ten or a hundred doses of medicine and treated them for a month or even a year, I might be able to cure them, but then what about the other injured people? The book says that no matter how difficult the patient's injuries are, how difficult the treatment is, or how harsh the conditions are, we should not give up any life, because this is the duty of a doctor. But in reality, I found that I couldn't do it, because not giving up one person's life means giving up the lives of many people. If I choose to save him just because they are my friends, and ignore others because they are strangers, then that must be wrong, right?"

Of course it's wrong.

Whether it is conscience, morality or faith, you can give the answer without hesitation. But this does not mean that the girl can accept it with peace of mind, because no matter what, she gave up her friends' lives after all, when she could have saved them.

"They died because of me." Finally, the girl came to this conclusion.

She hugged her knees, her eyes as sad as if it had rained.

The young man lost his usual eloquence. He stared at his sister quietly. After a long time, he reached out his hand, gently ruffled her hair, and said in a low voice: "No."

Absolutely not.

But it was hard to tell how much of this firm tone was comforting and how much was asking. Before Metien could respond, the young man changed the subject in time: "Didn't Mitch and Kadora come back with you?"

Metien was stunned for a moment, and replied subconsciously: "No. They originally wanted to come, but they had a mission, so..."

The main force of the rebels had not actually arrived at the Ash Hill area yet. Only the advance troops had arrived at this time. They were responsible for clearing obstacles for the main force, gathering intelligence, setting up camps and even raising supplies. The task was heavy, so even young soldiers like Mitch had no time to rest. They could only entrust the burial of their companions' ashes to Medien, and said that they would come to visit them when the mission was over and they had free time.

But it is hard to say how long it will take. Maybe they can only relax and take a breath when the Gray Hill City of Suare is completely liberated. Before that, the tense spirit cannot be relaxed. Everyone is worried that once they relax, the breath in their hearts will completely dissipate.

That is the biggest motivation that supports them to continue fighting. If they don't vent their anger on the battlefield and on their enemies, it will be meaningless.

Linger nodded to show that he understood, and then asked her: "What about you, what are you going to do next, Metien?"

"I?"

Metien thought about it for a while, but it didn't take long because she already knew the answer. She just wasn't sure whether her brother would support her, so she was hesitant. "I want to stay in the rebel army and fulfill my duties."

What kind of responsibilities?
Of course, it is the duty of a doctor.

Since she had decided to save others, how could she give up halfway? At least, until this war was completely over, Metien would always regard herself as a member of the rebel army, a comrade-in-arms of Mitch and Kadora, and she would never abandon her comrades and escape alone.

Linger did not object.

Although war is a cruel thing, and it is not a pleasant feeling to find out that one's abilities are limited and one can only watch the wounded die in front of one's eyes, the young man believes that his sister is not such a weak person, and the growth she has gained from this must be greater than the pain she has experienced.

He still said the same thing.

"Do what you want." The young man said to his sister, "No one can stop you, because you have the right to choose your own path in life. Of course, don't keep everything to yourself. Occasionally, confide your thoughts to us and let us shoulder the burden with you. That is not weakness, but another kind of growth."

Metien hummed softly. Since she came back, she has become much quieter and not as cheerful as before.

Linger stroked her hair with pity and said, "Go, Metien, attend the banquet that everyone has prepared for you. After the banquet, return to the rebels and continue to perform your duties. I believe everyone will support you."

"What about you, Ringo?"

"I...want to stay here for a while. Don't worry, I'll be back soon."

"……Um."

The pink-haired girl looked a little worried, but she still agreed obediently. After saying goodbye to her brother, she turned and left the secluded cemetery, gradually disappearing into the immature oak forest. Looking at her silent back, the young man couldn't help but sigh, but this sigh was not for his sister's transformation, but for himself, for those names that were clearly engraved on the tombstone but he dared not face them.

Metien is not weak.

Her brother is weak.

Give me some meow