Alice in the Land of Steam

Did you say the same thing in Chapter 1282?
Lingge stayed alone in the cemetery for a long time, and no one came to disturb him until the sun set. The sunset dyed half of the sky, and the top of the forest seemed to be burning. The flames were like cherry blossoms blooming along the back of a whale, spreading and burning all the way, but stopped abruptly at the end, falling into the endless and empty darkness. It was a black forest that the sun could not penetrate, and it was also a place where loneliness and confusion quietly spread. The bonfire of the group was far away and alienated, as if it was separated from it by two worlds.

The sound of footsteps broke the silence and brought the young man back from his reverie. He looked up, thinking that it was Metien or Saint Shalia calling him back to the banquet, but he saw a figure he hadn't seen for a long time.

Although it was said to be a long time since we last met, in fact the separation was only over a week. However, because what she was going to do was extremely dangerous, I couldn't help but worry and hoped that she would come back soon. As a result, the passage of time was stretched out, and a day seemed as long as a century.

Even though everyone knew that she would be fine.

Who can put the knights of the Gustave family into an irreparable predicament? The only person in this world who can defeat her is herself.

"I heard Metien is back."

When Xino said this, she did not realize that she was also one of those who "returned to her hometown after a long journey away from home". Perhaps it was because in her mind, the real hometown was only Grangenia, the land of white thorn flowers. Although Yunjingkong Island was warm and her companions were enthusiastic, it was not the destination of the soul and memory after all.

She still has a hometown and a place to rest her soul, which is a very happy thing. There are not many such people in the world, and there are not many on Cloud Whale Island. Just like Lorena's spiritual home is always the city of Nereides in the distant sea, and Ieta's spiritual home is always the small village of Avignon surrounded by wind and primroses. They are very lucky.

Some people never found their spiritual home from beginning to end, such as Bai Ye and Gloria, who have been wandering alone since they were born, constantly changing their identities, constantly searching for themselves, but gradually going farther and farther away and gradually lost themselves; some people once found a home but were forced to lose it, such as Leticia, who could have lived a stable life with her grandmother on the Silja Peninsula, but was forced to leave because of the ambitions of aliens and the cruelty of humans, and watched the fire erase everything in her memory and make it cease to exist.

For some people, their experiences may be more complicated. They once found their home and vowed to protect it forever; faced with the pressure of reality, they passively lost it and then just tried to escape; finally, they rebuilt the familiar church in a place where they thought they would not stay for too long.

Looking up, its shadow is lengthened under the setting sun, like a silent giant, guarding and watching at the same time.

Ironically, even this church was not rebuilt by him personally, but was built at the will of his sister.

Metien has been growing, but he seems to be going backwards. Lately, the young man has realized this very clearly, and he is becoming weak, hesitant, and sentimental.

"I always feel that you are a little depressed." Xinuo placed the holy spear White Thorn in her hand flat on the ground. The branch-shaped spear blade that had just been washed in the stream seemed alive and could sprout tender new leaves at any time. She walked to the young man and said in a joking tone: "Are you not happy to see me back, Lingge?"

The young man had absolutely no intention of doing so. He opened his mouth, but before he could think of the words to explain, Xinuo had already skipped the topic. She walked towards the white tombstone, half squatted down, and gently placed the bouquet in her other hand in front of the tombstone. Her long white hair was still shrouded in moisture as it fell down along her neck and shoulders.

Linger noticed that the flowers were also white. They looked very small, one flower was not even as big as his fingernail, and they were inconspicuous. They had to be close to each other, huddled together like a family, to attract the attention of passers-by. He was very sure that these flowers were not the product of Yunjingkong Island. They might come from the land outside, which was also the hometown that the living wanted to take back and the place that the dead wanted to dream of.

Xinuo's words confirmed his guess.

"On my way back, I saw this kind of flower on the roadside, and thought it was very similar to the white thorn flowers in my hometown, so I picked some without permission and brought them back. I originally wanted to put them in a vase as a decoration, but now it seems that it might be more appropriate to put them here." Xino said, his fingertips gently stroking the tiny and soft petals, feeling the itchy touch when they tickled his fingertips. Somehow, he suddenly thought of his childhood.

At that time, she was still young and ignorant. She had run all over the mountains and fields, picking a small white flower from the summer field with curiosity and excitement. She wondered why such an inconspicuous white flower could make the great Gostave Knights proud of it? When the ancestor was looking for a symbol of the family, why didn't he choose a more powerful lion, a more loyal hound, or a horse that was more in line with the image of a knight, but chose this tiny thing that only had a short life span?
It took her a long time to understand this truth. As a child, even if she had such doubts in her heart, it was difficult for her to figure out the answers. The adults would not tell her, and they always said that she didn’t need to think about these things yet. After all, she was still a child.

Children are made up of all innocent and beautiful things: flowers, candies, ice cubes, clouds, and a beautiful dream.

How many innocent and beautiful souls are buried under this pale tombstone? They could have been like Shino in his childhood, curious about all the unknown things, doubting all the curious things, and getting to the bottom of all the doubtful things, until the adults who were impatient with their questions smiled and shook their heads, saying: You will know when you grow up.

They never had the chance to grow up again.

"The Crusader's support fleet has been destroyed by me."

Xino suddenly said, "I also took a look around the junction of the Nessus River and the Gunnar River, but found no trace of the second fleet. It seems that at least in the short term, the decisive battle between the rebels and the 17th Legion will not be disturbed by anyone."

"..."

She fulfilled her duty perfectly, but the young man didn't know whether to say "thank you" or "thank you for your hard work". Both of them were his current feelings, without reservation. But the young man knew that this was not what the young knight needed. It seemed too superficial to attribute her consciousness to a "thank you", and a light "thank you for your hard work" seemed unable to touch the real pain in her heart.

Xinuo ignored the young man's silence and placed her hand on the tombstone, gently scratching every cold epitaph on it. The rough texture of the stone seemed to drive away the weak memory of the petals, which stubbornly occupied a place on her fingertips and refused to leave. At this time, she turned around and said to Ling Ge word by word: "Do you think they died because of me?"

"What?" The young man thought he had heard it wrong.

The young knight didn't look like she was joking. Besides, this wasn't something to joke about. She said seriously, as if she wanted to turn an uncertain guess into a definite fact: "They died because of my curse."

Because she won, she should have paid the price with the lives of her close ones, but until now, everyone on Yunjingkong Island is fine and no one has died.

So, have those who died to pay the price at that time been buried under this tombstone?

In addition to the old housekeeper and friends such as Leila in Sumiya City, as well as these companions on Yunjing Sky Island, what Xino cherishes most is probably her students, and they are also the ties she has re-forged on this journey of leaving her hometown and pursuing her ideals. They are connected, but also bound. If there was no intersection from the beginning, perhaps there would not be a tragedy today; but how could the knights of the Gostaph family treat a group of children who truly regard themselves as teachers with a cold and ruthless attitude?

"I have a hunch." The girl said in a low voice, "That's the truth." She won a war, and the rebels thousands of miles away also won a war. Everything seemed so beautiful, but in places that people could not see, tiny lives were becoming sacrifices of war and the price of victory. Perhaps they still felt that they sacrificed for their ideals until they died, and never thought that they could be linked to a cruel curse.

Perhaps some people would say that it is the same, whether they die for their ideals, for war, or for the curse of Shino, they are essentially pursuing the same future, and they have already made up their minds to sacrifice themselves before they set foot on the battlefield. Everyone thinks that using death to exchange for victory is normal, reasonable, and even necessary, so there is no difference...

But Shino knew that it was different.

The intention is the same, the process is the same, the result is the same, even though everything looks the same...it's just different.

Just like the bouquet of flowers she placed in front of the tombstone, although they have similar shapes and colors, they will never become the whitethorn flowers in memory.

To simply equate the two is nothing more than the mortal mentality of luck. But Xinuo once lost the most important person in her life painfully because of her luck, so she will no longer have such thoughts.

But what is even more ironic is that she knew someone died because of her curse, but she didn't know who that person was.

Because there were too many people, too many people died in this war, so everyone is possible, and everyone is unsure. Who knows whether this person died from a stray bullet from the enemy, or lost his life under the prank of the curse? Who knows whether the bullet that took his life was the will of fate, or was controlled by another distant battlefield? If all these questions cannot be answered, then Xino can only bear their deaths equally on his own soul.

If I can't feel guilty towards one person, it seems that I can only feel guilty towards everyone.

Death, responsibility, emotion, will, life...

Everyone could die, everyone could die because of themselves, and everyone... could appear in their dreams.

"In fact, Metien said the same thing."

Lingge said, and Xinuo was a little surprised by this. She turned around to look at Lingge, but found that the young man's face was hidden in the dark side of the twilight, and the changes in light and darkness made it difficult to see clearly: "Why did she... say that?"

"Perhaps he feels that if he can't save everyone, it won't be a happy ending?"

The young man replied calmly, and if one only listened to his tone, no one would be able to guess his current mood.

Xinuo shook his head: "No one can easily achieve a happy ending. As long as she has done her best, she can have a clear conscience."

"In that case, what are you feeling guilty about?"

"..."

Xinuo was speechless. She wanted to say that this was different, but she felt that this statement was not convincing at all. She could not convince the young man who was calm but a little stubborn. But she could not help feeling a little confused. If Metien had no problem, and she had no problem either, then where was the problem?

"I……"

Ling Ge suddenly lowered his eyelids, hiding the deep residual light in his eyes: "Although it may be a bit strange to say this, but what if I say that they died because of me, Xino?"

The young knight was surprised again, and then she felt a mixture of laughter and tears. She thought Lingge might be comforting herself in an awkward way. After all, this matter could not be blamed on him in any way. Even though he was Medien's brother, Kyle and others' teacher, and the one who initially decided to cooperate with the rebels... this did not mean anything.

However, when she noticed the young man's expression, she realized that he might be serious. There was no confusion in those clear golden eyes, only calmness, relief, and the realization after seeing the truth. This should be a good thing, right? But Xinuo felt an indescribable emotion, which made her feel unexpectedly uncomfortable. She pursed her lips and said nothing more. She just stood up slowly, avoiding the young man's eyes that wanted to get an answer from her.

"You think too much, Lingge."

She smiled and said, "Of course, Metien and I are overthinking. Maybe we are all sentimental. In fact, this is not anyone's fault, not even those we are fighting. If we have to say, it should be the fault of those who started this war."

You know who I'm talking about.

After giving the young man a meaningful look, she turned and walked out of the cemetery, waving her hand with her back to him as a farewell: "I heard that Miss Shesta is going to hold a party, so I'm going back to help. Lingge, you should also come back early, but don't stay too late and make everyone worry about you."

Lingge didn't say anything else. He just watched her walk away and disappear into the twilight.

As the last ray of light was swallowed up by the forest, darkness fell.

Give me some meow