My chat group is full of female losers

Chapter 308 Then I ask you
As time passed, the day for the Spring Banquet finally arrived.

Even before night had completely fallen, the entire palace was already brightly lit, as bright as day. Countless palace maids and eunuchs hurried between the pavilions and towers, some carrying delicacies and fine wines, others moving ice chests and charcoal fires, their busy figures weaving together a lively and extraordinary scene.

Among the crowd, two figures dressed as palace maids were bowing their heads, pretending to wipe a railing, appearing completely inconspicuous.

These two were Si Ren and Xiao Cui, who had sneaked in through Consort Li's connections.

Si Ren looked around, his eyes gleaming with excitement.

According to the ancestral system of this dynasty, the Spring Banquet is divided into several parts, including the opening ceremony, the presentation of auspicious omens, the performance of dances, and the bestowal of the banquet.

The most important part of the ceremony was the offering of auspicious gifts. At that time, civil and military officials and their families would toast the emperor in order of their official rank and present gifts symbolizing good fortune to show their loyalty and blessings.

Si Ren's plan was to make his move at this moment when everyone was watching.

As the wife of the prime minister, the female lead Su Wanqing holds a prestigious position and will inevitably be very close to the dragon throne during the auspicious ceremony. Therefore, the plan is to follow behind Su Wanqing. Once close to Chu Lu, she will seize the opportunity to launch an attack, verbally abusing Chu Lu to death in front of all the civil and military officials!

She wanted everyone to witness firsthand just how miserable the consequences of offending the female lead would be! She wanted that so-called group leader hiding in the shadows to taste the bitterness of defeat!
Thinking of this, Si Ren's lips involuntarily curled into an expectant smile.

Meanwhile, inside the Hall of Mental Cultivation, Chu Lu was making final preparations.

"Qin Su, how is the situation?" Chu Lu asked in his mind.

“Very smoothly.” Qin Su’s voice rang out. “Consort Li, Consort Wan, Consort Zhuang, and Consort Xian have taken their seats with the other concubines and are seated in the women’s section on the east side. Su Wanqing is in the family group of Prime Minister Shen Shi’an. Si Ren and her follower Xiao Cui are disguised as palace maids and are pretending to work.”

Qin Su paused for a moment, then continued, "Zhou Ming, the head of the Treasury, is in charge of the banquet arrangements and is directing the proceedings outside the hall. Wang Gaoyuan, the director of the Imperial Observatory, is standing at the front of the officials' procession. Just as I expected, they have all flocked here."

"Where is Fei Wu?" Chu Lu asked.

“We haven’t found any trace of her,” Qin Su replied. “I guess she might have chosen to stay behind and observe the overall situation in order to prevent any accidents from happening.”

“That’s not bad.” Chu Lu’s eyes turned slightly cold. “Hopefully, the situation can be maintained until we make our move.”

Chu Lu's plan was as straightforward as Si Renyi's.

He planned to wait until the banquet officially began, when court musicians and dancers took the stage to perform, and when the officials began drinking and conversing—the moment when the atmosphere was at its most lively and the guard was at its lowest—before launching a surprise attack and wreaking havoc.

At that time, everyone's attention was focused on the singing and dancing, making it the perfect opportunity to create chaos and reap the benefits of the correction.

Of course, he had already guessed that Si Ren might cause trouble during the auspicious offering segment before the singing and dancing began, so he made special preparations to deal with it.

#####
Time slipped away quietly amidst everyone's busy preparations, whether filled with anticipation or tension.

As night falls and the lights come on, the Spring Banquet is about to begin.

In a side hall, Chu Lu straightened his clothes for the last time.

"It's about to begin." Qin Su's voice carried a hint of solemnity.

"Hmm," Chu Lu responded, his gaze fixed on the brightly lit banquet hall in the distance.

"Chu Lu, are you prepared?" Qin Su asked again. "You need to understand. Once this plan is launched, there's no turning back. And even if everything goes smoothly, the crisis won't disappear."

Chu Lu did not respond, which he understood, of course.

Even if he succeeds in making trouble at the banquet, eliminating all visible targets in the capital and accumulating enough correction points, the exposure of his identity also means that they will face Fei Wu's pursuit.

Stepping out of the shadows and out of the disguise of being the emperor, he was forced to confront Fei Wu, who possessed a powerful female protagonist aura, despite insufficient correction value.

The crisis not only won't disappear, it has even intensified.

But they had no other choice. What they were doing at that moment was not the optimal solution, but a desperate gamble when there was no other way. It was a do-or-die situation, a fight with their backs to the wall.

If he could find a way to deal with Si Ren without revealing his identity, he naturally wouldn't choose to take the risk. But such a method isn't something that can be easily found.
Chu Lu had no choice.

“I understand,” Chu Lu said softly, “but this is already the best solution.”

Qin Su sighed silently. She knew that Chu Lu was telling the truth.

Chu Lu took a deep breath, preparing to step out and head to the Spring Banquet, which was destined to be a bloodbath.

Just then, a heated argument suddenly broke out from the corridor not far away.

"You soldier! This is utterly unreasonable!" A civil official in a scarlet robe was furious, his face flushed red. He pointed at a royal guard opposite him, trembling all over. "I was merely asking you if this road leads to the main hall, and you...you're spouting nonsense! It's like a scholar encountering a soldier—you can't reason with him!"

Chu Lu was startled and subconsciously looked over. He had intended to only glance at it and then look away, but once he looked over, his gaze seemed to be drawn in by a magnet, and he could no longer look away.

His expression changed from cold and resolute to strange, and finally to dumbfounded shock.

"Chu Lu? What's wrong?" Qin Su noticed his unusual behavior.

Chu Lu didn't answer immediately, but listened intently to the argument on the other end. After a moment, he thought to himself, "Qin Su, I suddenly have a very interesting idea. Perhaps we can defeat Si Ren without a fight to the death."

"What?!" Qin Su was immediately startled. "What method?"

“You said before,” Chu Lu said, “that the essence of Si Ren’s ability is to provoke the target with words and make them die of anger, right? So as long as you don’t provoke her, you won’t fall for her tricks.”

“That’s right,” Qin Su affirmed. “But considering her protagonist aura, only extreme women who completely agree with her theories at the core of their thinking are likely to be immune to her verbal attacks.”

“I’m wondering,” Chu Lu’s eyes flickered, “aside from complete agreement, are there other ways to avoid being provoked?”

"Other ways?" Qin Su asked, puzzled. "What do you mean?"

“For example,” Chu Lu said, emphasizing each word, “I couldn’t understand it at all.”

"Don't understand?" Qin Su immediately realized, "You mean the language barrier? That's useless. Based on past experience, this level of obstacle can be easily overcome by the female lead's halo. Let alone the language barrier, even if the target is deaf, Si Ren can learn sign language instantly."

“No,” Chu Lu shook his head, “that’s not what I meant. I meant that I don’t understand it literally.”

Qin Su fell silent. She pondered the possibility: "You mean... cognitive impairment? Like a mentally challenged person? Theoretically, there are people with intellectual disabilities who would never get angry. However, a mentally challenged person doesn't understand human language, which means they are extremely unpredictable. What if they get a good scolding from Si Renren and end up being swayed by her twisted logic?"

“That’s certainly a possibility,” Chu Lu admitted. “But… what if it’s a complete idiot?”

As he spoke, he pointed forward.

Qin Su looked ahead. She saw the Imperial Guard—a strangely obese man with a pointed head and a stubborn yet confused gaze.

Then, she heard his voice.

“Then let me ask you,” the guard said earnestly to the exasperated civil official, “why is the top of your head so pointed?”

Qin Su froze completely.

She recognized him instantly.

"It's him!? What's he doing here?" Qin Su's voice was filled with shock. "Wait, could it be..."

"Will it work?" Chu Lu asked again.

Qin Su remained silent for a moment. After a long while, she answered in an uncertain tone, "Perhaps... we can give it a try."

"Alright." A glint flashed in Chu Lu's eyes. "Then let's give it a try."

#####
The auspicious time has arrived, and the spring banquet officially begins.

Bells and drums resounded, and music filled the air. Chu Lu, dressed in a ceremonial robe with twelve imperial symbols, calmly ascended to the main seat in the hall amidst shouts of "Long live the Emperor!" from the officials.

The officials took their seats according to their rank, and the palace maids served them delicacies and wines in a continuous stream.

Si Ren, disguised as an inconspicuous palace maid, stood quietly behind Su Wanqing, her hands at her sides. Her gaze was fixed on Chu Lu on the throne.

—It's almost here. Once the auspicious offering begins, your death is nigh!

The banquet proceeded smoothly and in an orderly manner.

Finally, after three rounds of wine, the eunuch's loud voice rang out: "Summon—civil and military officials to present auspicious gifts!"

--coming!
Si Ren was overjoyed and was about to follow Su Wanqing, who had gotten up.

However, at that moment, Chu Lu's body suddenly stiffened. As if stabbed by something invisible, he abruptly raised his hand and pressed his temple. His face lost color at a visible speed, turning deathly pale.

Immediately afterward, his throat bobbed, and he let out a violent cough that he tried desperately to suppress but was still clearly audible. He quickly covered his mouth with his sleeve and turned his head to the side, as if unwilling to let the courtiers see his loss of composure. The banquet fell silent instantly.

The faces of everyone around turned pale.

"Your Majesty!" The old eunuch beside him panicked, his voice trembling, "What's wrong with you?"

"It's nothing," Chu Lu said in a hoarse voice. "I probably caught a chill last night."

Upon hearing this, the old eunuch immediately said, "Your Majesty, why didn't you say so earlier? This servant will go and summon the imperial physician right away!"

"No need," Chu Lu waved his hand and said, "There's no need to delay the Spring Festival banquet because of this minor illness. I'll go back to the East Warm Pavilion for a short rest. Have the musicians and dancers prepare, and I'll be back shortly. As for the auspicious offerings, let's skip them for now."

This act was something he had prepared well in advance; every detail was rehearsed flawlessly, leaving no room for anyone to see through it.

Not to mention the panicked old eunuch, who was completely oblivious and hurriedly said, "Okay, okay. This servant will help you over right away."

Afterwards, Chu Lu, supported by the old eunuch, turned around and walked towards the East Warm Pavilion behind the main hall.

—Trying to run away?
Upon seeing this, Si Ren's eyes narrowed instantly.

She didn't believe things could be such a coincidence that Chu Lu happened to fall ill at this time. It was clear that Chu Lu sensed danger and wanted to use this as an excuse to escape.

No way!
She sneered, moved swiftly, and silently broke away from the group, secretly following them.

She chased after him all the way to the outside of the East Warm Pavilion, where she saw Chu Lu standing at the door, whispering to a guard of the Imperial Guard, "Asheng, you stand here and don't let anyone in."

"Yes!" the guard replied loudly.

Chu Lu nodded, then turned and walked into the warm pavilion, the door closing behind him.

Si Ren sized up the guard named Asheng and found his physique to be extremely strange. Although he was described as muscular, his abdomen was covered with a ring of loose fat, which blurred the muscle lines that should have been there, presenting a very disproportionate and bloated appearance.

Looking at his face, his features were fairly regular, but his eyes revealed a lingering confusion and stubbornness, and his greasy skin was repulsive. The most ridiculous thing was his peculiar head shape, pointed like an underdeveloped bamboo shoot.

Seeing his dull and clueless appearance, Si Ren didn't take him seriously at all and swaggered over.

—He's just a pig-man, what use is he?

"Stop!" As expected, Asheng stretched out his arm and stopped her.

Si Ren sneered and immediately began to curse: "You pig-man, do you even dare to block my way? Look at your appearance, pointy head, round belly, you're simply a failed creation of the male Dao! Do you even deserve to be a watchdog here? Get out of my way right now! Otherwise, don't blame me for showing you what real power is!"

After she finished cursing, she looked arrogant and smug, waiting for the other person to fly into a rage and die of anger.

However, after hearing this, Asheng was not angry at all. Instead, he looked confused. He looked Si Ren up and down and then said, "Then let me ask you, why is the top of my head pointed? Don't you like it? Ah, the top of my head is pointed, so what? I want it to be pointed! And you? Are you a man or a woman? If you are a woman, then let me ask you, is the top of your head pointed, or are you bald, or are you dyed yellow or red? And let me ask you, are you wearing a wig?"

Si Renyi was stunned.

—What nonsense is this pig-man spouting?
Her feminist theory is based on the premise that 'women are clearly stronger, yet they are oppressed by conspiracies and tricks,' and all her attacks revolve around exposing the original sin of pig men. But what the other party said was completely inexplicable, leaving her momentarily speechless.

But the next moment, she suddenly realized something.

—Hair? Appearance!? Oh right, it's attacking my appearance, that damn pig-man!

Si Ren flew into a rage: "My hairstyle is a symbol of noble women! How dare you, a lowly pig, criticize it? I think you've been completely corrupted by male chauvinism and have lost even your basic aesthetic sense! You can only use your pig-man's crude and vulgar eyes to judge our great heroine!"

"Ah, I get it. Trolls are so annoying." Asheng's thoughts suddenly jumped to another level, and he said seriously, "To be honest, trolls, well, to be honest, they're not really in the right. Wait, what level is squatting 200 kilograms?"

"If we put that here today, ten years ago, 200 kilograms would have been considered strongman level. Honestly, that's equivalent to... well, it's equivalent to 200 kilograms today! To be honest, that would have been a pretty good level."

Upon hearing this, Si Ren was immediately filled with confusion: "You castrated pig! What are you talking about!?"

Si Ren felt like she was punching cotton. She had never encountered anything like this before; the other person ignored her words and kept saying nonsensical things that she couldn't understand at all.

Si Ren pondered for a moment, then another guess formed in her mind. She said fiercely, "You! Are you playing a trick on me? How dare you play a trick on me! You are destroying my wisdom! This is the most vicious curse of your male path!"

However, these words seemed to take on a different meaning when they reached Asheng's ears. He frowned and said, "You're saying Asheng is stupid? Is Asheng stupid or not? Is Asheng really the smartest guy in Changshu? Do you think I look like a piglet right now? If I were a piglet, that might be possible, but right now, well, it's unlikely I even look like a piglet. Do you think I'm fat?"

Now, if people think I'm fat, they'll call me a tall pig or a fat lamb. Well, let me ask you, do you even have a brain? Do you even have a brain? How many blood vessels are in your brain?

"Then let me ask you, besides brain matter, how many blood vessels are in your brain? Do you have a brain? Of course, everyone has a brain. So let me ask you, is your brain half or the whole thing?"

Si Ren became more and more confused as he listened, and for a moment he even seemed to have died.

She couldn't take it anymore, stomped her foot and yelled, "Shut up! Shut up! Just shut up!"

"If you keep doing this, I'm going to lose my temper!" Asheng's expression suddenly turned serious.

"You still dare to be angry?!" Si Ren trembled with rage. "You male idiot, you still dare to be angry?!"

But Asheng still looked completely at ease: "I, Asheng, am living a very happy life. I, Asheng, can do whatever I want! I, Asheng, can jump up if I want to! I can get angry if I want to! Besides, I'm angry!"

"Aaaaaaaahhhhhh!" Si Ren screamed in despair, grabbing her hair. She glared viciously at A Sheng, "I'm going to kill you! I'm going to kill you today!"

Just then, footsteps sounded from behind, revealing patrolling guards and other palace staff.

As their argument grew louder, it attracted the attention of others.

"what happened?"

What's all that noise over there?

Seeing this, Si Ren became anxious. After all, the more people there were, the more chaotic the situation would be, and the harder it would be for her plan to succeed. So she decided to strike first and anger these people to death.

She whirled around, her sharp gaze fixed on the approaching crowd, and roared, "What are you looking at?! You bunch of pigs who only know how to watch, do you also think I'm easy to bully? Believe me or not..."

However, just as the protagonist's aura behind her began to activate and was about to take effect, Asheng spoke up again.

With a genuine look of doubt, he interrupted Si Ren, saying, "Easy to bully? I'm not easy to bully. My surname is Lei, you know? My surname is Shao, which means it's rare. The less common your surname is, the more powerful you are. Yes, because of this, because of this surname, ah, this rather powerful surname, this surname, I'm telling you, in the near future, everyone with this surname will become successful. I'm telling you, so the less common the better. You kneel down and apologize to me, do you hear me?"

Si Ren's cursing stopped abruptly. She turned her head with difficulty, staring at A Sheng with bloodshot eyes and venomous resentment without saying a word. The latter, for some reason, had turned into a look of righteous indignation.

Then Si Ren took a deep breath, looked at the guards in front of him again, pretended not to hear A Sheng's words, and continued to curse: "You bunch of treacherous watchdogs! Protecting this cannibal..."

Asheng: "Yes! If you're a man, you shouldn't wear a belt. Well, no, if you're a man, you shouldn't wear a belt. But I suggest you wear one."

Si Ren: "..."

Her eye twitched, but she gritted her teeth and insisted, "Your hands are stained with our blood and tears! You..."

Asheng: "Pig's blood? I don't eat pig's blood. I eat beef and chicken breast every day. So, all my nutrients end up in my nose hairs, all of them. That's why my nose hairs grow faster than my head hairs, you know?"

Si Ren: "You must atone, atone for your sins..."

Asheng: "My God, that's not right. How many relationships have you had? Me? I've had a lot, seven or eight. I just... I just... I just don't want to be in a relationship. Yes, definitely with girls, not boys. I'm not a rabbit, how could I possibly be in a relationship with a girl?"

Si Ren: "..."

"Aaaaaah!" Si Ren couldn't take it anymore. After being interrupted time and time again, the string in her mind finally snapped.

She turned around and yelled at Asheng, "Shut up! Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up! You shut up, shut up!"

Asheng: "..."

He paused for a moment, looking puzzled, before speaking again: "Then let me ask you..."

"Aaaaaaahhhhhh!" Si Ren screamed hysterically, "I can't take it anymore! I can't take it anymore! I quit! I quit!"

She screamed wildly as she rushed outside, knocking aside the arriving guards and fleeing in panic.

The desperate roar faded into the distance along with her figure.

Inside the warm pavilion, Chu Lu leaned against the door, listening to the commotion outside, and almost burst out laughing.

"Why is Si Ren as stubborn as a silly roe deer?" he complained. "If a normal person could tell that Asheng was an idiot at first glance, wouldn't they leave immediately? Why is she still clinging to him?"

“That’s how female protagonists are.” Qin Su’s tone also carried a rare hint of mockery. “They can even breathe on AI robots all day long. A fool is nothing to them.”

(End of this chapter)