The Spirit World

Chapter 252 Perhaps, everyone must seize the present in order to survive.

At this point, I had to admit my weakness.

I thought I wasn't a jerk who would just sit there and wait for death. Later I found out that in the eyes of others, I was hopeless.

If I had fought for it, would the outcome have been completely different?
Looking at other people's lives, looking at other people's joys and sorrows, am I striving for what I want to do?

I thought I was fighting for it, but...

I can't lie to myself anymore.

I'm just a weak bastard!

I saw Xunhuangying nervously transforming into the wolf he had always been reluctant to become, and his spikes made it difficult for me to calm down.

"Let's go take a look."

I patted Xun Huangying's back. He only had a tiny space left for support. The spikes were like blades, cutting through the tense air. He was trembling. I noticed that something had really happened.

If I were not a child, I would not be able to pat his back because there was not enough space for my palm.

He was like a hedgehog, suddenly turning back to look at me.

I could feel him staring at me.

The arc of light above the sky cast blood-colored ice crystals on the window. It was the blood on the window that reflected on the ice crystals, staining them, which was horrible.

I seemed to have thought about what terrible things we would encounter along the way. After all, it was a seven-day journey, and anything could happen in these seven days.

anything could happen……

"Lin'er!" I suddenly yelled! My head was buzzing with heat and I stood up. Mami and Shirley looked at me. They seemed to have just remembered that there was someone of the same age sitting in the back of the carriage.

I don't know what they are thinking...

"she……"

"Are you going to see her?"

"Of course!"

I answered without hesitation, and they looked at me very seriously, their confusion evident in their words.

"From where? Now? Alone?"

Shirley looked around, but I was just standing there alone, there was nothing special, and she didn't even know how I should get over there.

The carriage was speeding, and in her eyes, what could I do now? Whether before departure or until now, I had not done anything outstanding.

Tomoe Mami's behavior of asking me for route suggestions was like she was pitying me, a country bumpkin. In her eyes, my presence was sometimes frighteningly high, and sometimes frighteningly low.

I know they would care about my presence, but the horrific scene just now didn't surprise them. Only my current appearance surprised them a little.

Lin Er...

What is it to me?

I asked this question for no reason.

They must be thinking the same thing. Lin'er, that girl who sits next to me quietly and talks to me, what is she to me?

Is that my fiancée?
No, I never dared to think like that... Lin'er has a brighter future, Lin'er has a huge spiritual power that I can't reach. Lin'er has her own adventure.

And I am just that...

The boy who made her cry for no reason...

I'm just one of the people she knows.

She is my friend.

But which friend would be so entangled in whether to protect [him]? How could I ruthlessly refuse this deep affection that I could not touch...

I think……

I am a coward...

I am an adult now, but I am a cowardly adult.

I don’t know what it’s like to be an adult… I don’t understand how adults handle things…

I was naive, I naively thought...

As long as I...watch...I, an outsider...don't need a sense of existence...

I looked at Shirley with horror, and I saw my own frightened face in her eyes.

I'm afraid...

I am truly afraid.

I was afraid that the decision I made would be denied... I was afraid that every step I took would be denied by Rosades, the man who had criticized me twice...

In my own eyes, I should be full of energy and vigor, but now I don't know what to do at all.

But Rosades didn't even look at me. My fear was unfounded, but it also made me feel nothing.

"Sir Karen is accompanying her, so she should be fine." Shirley knocked on the glass, and the crisp sound of the glass was like a thorn hitting my head: "The dark claw cat demon is too weak. Look, this is special glass, and those cat demons can't destroy it at all."

As she spoke, a stream of clear water began to flow slowly outside the window, cleaning the window and quickly removing the blood and stains.

The one who showed up outside the window was none other than Li Xiangyi, who was known as the "Fox". She held the Empire's one-handed sword, and with her other hand, water slowly gathered to wash away the bloodstains around her.

She saw Shirley and rode over to greet her: "Are you okay?"

She glanced inside the carriage and saw Chang Yufeng stood up. The lamb turned into a black wolf cub. He frowned but couldn't say anything. Then, she saw Rosades calmly resting his eyes. She looked back and saw Bachi knocking on the window of the second carriage.

"It's okay, it's fine."

"Well, take care of yourself, and don't get off the car unless there's something special."

"we know."

Li Xiangyi quickly fell out of the window again, and she controlled the horse to come to Butch's side.

"How's it going? Any response?"

The second carriage was covered by curtains. Butch was embarrassed to knock too loudly. Seeing Li Xiangyi coming over, he shook his head seriously.

"Ms. Kallen! Lord Kallen!"

He shouted into the carriage that he had something troublesome to explain to Kallen - the route had deviated - Mami informed Tilon but not him, and it was when he was cleaning the stains on the carriage that Tilon gave him the map and explained the situation.

As the commander of the entire team, he naturally had the obligation to tell the client that he was taking another route.

He shouted and knocked on the window, but now he was at his wit's end and could only loudly inform the people inside the car through the window of the situation.

He stared straight ahead. As the night deepened, the brightness of the arc light became more and more obvious, and his golden hair turned pale. "Sir Kallen, we are now heading to [Moon Moon Lake]. If you have any comments, you can tell me now!"

He knocked on the window again and looked at Li Xiangyi.

He was somewhat afraid that Karin was resting and would be disturbed by him, so he reluctantly returned to the middle of the team, and Li Xiangyi followed him.

She asked a question that made Butch very confused.

"How did the Dark Claw Cat Demon come back to life?"

"Resurrection from the dead?"

Bachi didn't agree with the theory of resurrection at all. He looked back and saw that the carriage was speeding and the bodies of the Dark Claw cat demons had been left behind.

It was indeed a little strange that they died in groups in the middle of the road, but so what? It wouldn't be strange if a lot of dark claw cat demons died.

"do not know……"

"I have a very bad feeling."

Li Xiangyi looked at Bachi and expressed her concerns: "I'm not targeting that kid, nor am I saying anything about Mami Tomoe. I just think it's too hasty to hand over the job of guide to two little brats."

The wind whistled in their ears.

"Mr. Rosades has his reasons for handing all matters over to me. Similarly, I should trust them both."

Bachi looked at the first carriage again: "All doubts must be resolved by time." "You are always like this, too confident."

"Too confident? Isn't that arrogance? Ha..."

Bachi scratched his head, feeling a little embarrassed. "Are you saying I'm conceited? Although something went wrong, think about it, it would be strange if nothing went wrong, right?"

"It's up to you." Li Xiangyi put away her sword, closed her eyes and shook her head, then rode her horse back to the end of the team.

Bachi thought for a moment, then turned his gaze to the blade at his waist, letting the moonlight soak into it.

I looked at Xun Huangying's quiet appearance and knew that there was no way I could mention the matter of visiting Lin'er again.

I'm not surprised that I'm powerless...

I also understand very well that Lin'er is so powerful that she will definitely not be stumped by this weak Dark Claw Cat Demon.

I sat down, and Xun Huangying also sat next to me as if he was deflated.

He lowered his head, and I didn't understand what he was thinking at the moment. He was somewhat at odds with Lin'er, so I naturally didn't think that he cared about Lin'er too.

I care about Lin'er like I care about my best friend. It was because of me that she insisted on coming here...

Or maybe I'm too sensitive, I actually think the Dark Claw Cat Demon will hurt Lin'er. They are just like Shirley said, they can't even break the glass of the carriage...

It seems like I did something wrong...?

I didn’t contribute, I didn’t have a sense of existence, I didn’t have my own ideas, and I didn’t even have… that many… abilities that could be worthy of praise from others…

I am not proactive enough to change my life... Then how can I say that I am a person who wants to grasp the present...

I am undoubtedly a jerk who talks a lot but does nothing...

I began to worry whether I was also like this in Xunhuangying's eyes...

Xun Huangying looked at me sadly...

He said, “There’s a good thing and a bad thing happening right now… which one do you want to hear about?”

I don't understand why he would beat around the bush; that's not his personality.

"You said."

I don't want to think about any complicated issues anymore.

I feel sad that...everything about me no longer has...so many possibilities...

I want to grasp the present moment so much... But when I am really in the present moment, I have to be bound by the present moment...

A person like Rosades can shut up everything I want to say with just a few words... I can only apologize in detail...

When I was teased by Shirley and Tomoe Mami, I felt like a numb piece of wood...

I was [hit] by their words…

If I had never possessed certain "memories", if I had never been helped by Xun Huangying... If I had never seen everything about "Chang Yufeng" in different time and space...

If... I didn't fantasize... all those "me"s in time and space might be the lives I could have...

Would I be more confident?

Would I be... a little smarter?

I seem to know everything about the world, but I am also not surprisingly "out of this world", and I fantasize all day long...

Possibilities, possibilities! Possibilities…

What exactly is possibility?

My life... will I become a guide? Will I become a pig farmer? Will I become a worker who works day and night? Will I become a noble who only knows how to enjoy himself? Will I become a role I never expected?

Will I be tortured by illness? Will I be burdened by disability? Will I be killed by hatred and grudges?

How could I have anticipated so much... How could I have guessed so much...

How can I not... ask myself...

What can I do?

I'm a real jerk for thinking this, right?

Because of me, so many people died in this world! I indirectly killed so many people, just like they called me a devil, bad luck, and the son of bad luck, how can I refute it?

I can tell them mercilessly that those guys didn't die because of my arrival, they were burned to death! I didn't set the fire!
If you want to find the murderer, go find the murderer! Why are you taking it out on me?!
Take me to pay the penalty!
You bastards!

If I didn't have these insults, wouldn't other people's attitudes and feelings towards me be completely different?

Am I... a hopeless person?

I do not know……

I really don’t know…

I know very well that no one can give me the answer.

I……

right now,

He is a naive adult...

Adults shouldn’t be associated with innocence…but I…

"The good news is that we are still safe."

Xun Huangying looked at me with a sad face.

I saw a hint of bitter smile in his eyes. He would never have such an expression.

He should be like the real Supreme Being, full of confidence that I never had...

"The bad news is, it won't be anytime soon."

I don’t quite understand what Xunhuangying is saying. Does he mean that we will be unsafe soon?
But does this "we" include Mami and her group?
Or does it only include me and Xunhuangying?

I have never felt the word "safety" so strange.

But at this moment, I saw that figure again.

I looked over suddenly, and the green blade was glowing, which made me so frightened that I couldn't express it in words.

He sat next to Shirley and spoke in an extremely terrifying voice.

He spoke, the second time I saw him.

"You are still... hopeless..."

He spoke in a low voice, a sound I could make, but it was also different from the sound of my own voice that I usually heard.

With arms crossed and legs crossed, his eyes are dark and his clothes are stained with snow.

他说:

"Why? You want to have a different life now?"

"How ridiculous...α17503038, when you escaped from the Heavenly Palace, I knew that you would become like this..."

"Pathetic, pathetic, human being."