From the end of the world

Chapter 541: The Healing of the Little Bowl

Xiaowan pointed out the conflict between my thoughts and I didn’t know how to explain it to her for a moment, but as far as my inner feelings were concerned, there was actually no contradiction.

First of all, I think I have a responsibility towards Ma Zao.

Saying "responsibility" may not be close to what I really want to express, and it seems condescending, but I can't find a more appropriate word for the time being. "Protecting Ma Zao from the hands of fate" is not a task that creates pressure for me. In short, I think it is necessary for me to protect Ma Zao, and I am willing to protect Ma Zao.

Therefore, even though pursuing my dream is more important to me than Ma Zao, I cannot bear to pursue my dream at the expense of Ma Zao.

If I confront Ma Zao directly after returning to the modern world and tell her that we will become enemies from now on and part ways, this is not "escaping" but "facing". Although it is very painful, I can still accept this consequence.

If I put aside my "responsibility" and just immerse myself in the pursuit of adventure in the apocalypse, I will feel like I am escaping. This is bad, inferior, and does not conform to my own ideals. Even if I can quickly rationalize myself after actually doing such a thing, at least now I have resistance to it.

However, I think I will still make the same choice in the end. Just like a long time ago, when I first met Ma Zao, I made the decision to "break off relations with Chang An" after realizing that the power of the unlucky star might be transmitted from me to Chang An. Between friends and adventure, I finally chose the latter. And this time is just the same thing. I value my feelings very much, but I value my obsession even more.

"…The real reason that made me stop was not because it was difficult to make this choice, but because I could easily make such a choice…" I tried to organize my words.

"But you didn't make a choice, you stopped." Xiaowan said, "If it is a very difficult choice, you may focus on the choice itself. Because you have some spare energy, you start to think about more things.

“You start to wonder if there is something you are looking forward to ahead of you on this road that is within your reach. You are not clinging to your feelings... but wondering if you can exchange them for real adventures.”

Because I decided to open my heart to Xiaowan, I still admitted it frankly this time, "...Yes."

The adventure in my mind is a magnificent stage, a world of infinite possibilities, constant crises, and a splendid world.

As for the current approach where I have to abandon my feelings and move forward, I see a narrow path like a single-plank bridge. Doing so will only make my path narrower and narrower.

I wasn't afraid of the single-plank bridge, but it wasn't the adventure I was looking for.

Why do I feel this way?
I think that at some point, my understanding of the word "adventure" was distorted. That's why I encountered such a contradiction. What does "adventure" mean to me? Why can't I see the possibility of being satisfied even at this point?

Or... this deviation did not appear halfway through, but from the very beginning... my understanding of "adventure" was wrong?
There seemed to be something fundamentally flawed about my desire.

If it was before I entered the strange world, I would definitely not have noticed this problem. Because at that time, I had already exhausted all my strength just trying to enter the strange world, but now that I have finally been able to gain a foothold in this world, I have more energy to spare, so I can re-examine my foothold.

Xiaowan patted the bed next to her, probably asking me to sit there, so I sat down.

"Brother Zhuang Cheng, although it was my own decision to wish for you to be with Sister Ma Zao and to ask you to save Sister Ma Zao, I think it's unfair if you are the only one who fulfills Sister Ma Zao's wish." Xiao Wan said, "I also hope that Sister Ma Zao can save you. Of course, I will also join in and try my best to help you."

"What...save me?" I couldn't help but be surprised.

In my past life, I have saved and helped many people directly or indirectly, but I never thought that I could be the one to be saved. Whether in terms of strength or spirit, I don't think I am a weak person, and I don't need to be saved or helped by others. If there is an enemy that even I can't resist, then it will be even more difficult for others to resist.

Although I have sought support from others along the way, no one has ever regarded me as someone who needs help, and I have never positioned myself in this way. I even feel a little uncomfortable about this.

"I don't feel unfortunate," I said.

Even during that time long ago when I was searching for something strange but couldn't find it, I had never felt this way before.

"The word 'rescue' may not be very appropriate, but, Brother Zhuang Cheng, perhaps you have also fallen into a vicious circle and whirlpool without knowing it. If you can't see clearly who you really are, it's not surprising even if you end up self-destructing." Xiao Wan said, "I believe you can understand it yourself, right? The path you have chosen is a thorough road of self-destruction. From this perspective, you are no different from Sister Ma Zao in the past."

I said noncommittally, "...This topic should be over now."

"Yes, then let's get to the point first..." Xiaowan said something remarkable in a casual manner.

"Get to the point?" I was surprised. "Aren't those things just now considered the point?"

"What we just talked about is also the main topic, but what's happening now is also very important." Xiao Wan said, "Although I couldn't sense it clearly, but along the way, I felt that Brother Zhuang Cheng seemed to have some injuries on his body.

"I have tried very hard to check, but I still can't find any traces on your body and soul. It was not until you opened your heart and let me deeply sense your mind just now that I truly confirmed the existence of this injury... What kind of injury is this?"

I suddenly realized and said, "You are talking about the damage on the level of true spirit, right?" This was the injury sustained in the battle with the great demon Xuanwu.

Not only that, before entering the doomsday era, the damage to the true spirit left by the battle with Huang Quan had never been healed and had remained like this.

I can instantly recover from injuries to my body and soul, but I am helpless against damage to my true spirit.

Originally, after the true spirit was overly damaged, it would feel drowsy. Fortunately, now thanks to the blessing of the small bowl, I am a hundred times more energetic, which offsets that negative state.

"Is that so..." Xiaowan nodded, "Then let me be responsible for healing you."

"You can repair the damage to the true spirit?" I was surprised again.

It is not surprising that the Son of God can heal the wounded with the power of the heavens and the earth. In the Bible, Jesus can heal the wounds and diseases of others with a simple touch, and even cure disabilities and dispel curses. This is also one of the basic abilities of the Son of God.

However, this kind of treatment should be limited to injuries of the body and soul, and does not cover the level of the true spirit.

Even if I searched all over Luoshan, I couldn't find the technology and knowledge to repair the damage to my true spirit. Therefore, after the last battle with Mingzhu, I could only stay in the sanatorium at Luoshan headquarters, relying on the ridiculous method of "eating well and sleeping well" to slowly recuperate and provide the best conditions for the natural repair of my true spirit.

"It should be treatable. At least that's what I feel." Xiao Wan said with a smile, "Come on. This is also a reward for Brother Zhuang Cheng's honesty."

Could it be that her power was enhanced by the power of the divine seal fragment? Could the power of the divine seal fragment really be used for anything?

Since she said so, it's okay to let her give it a try.

I chose to ignore the second half of her sentence.

"So, what should we do next?" I asked curiously.

"Well, well... first of all, you need to have physical contact with me, and it's best to find a comfortable position..."

After thinking seriously, Xiao Wan patted her thigh gently and said, "Brother Zhuang Cheng, please put your head here first."

Looking down at her slender, thin thighs, I asked, "Does it have to be this way?"

"This is the best way to take care of the injury, and it will also make it easier for me to grasp the feel of treatment." Xiaowan said.

This reason is acceptable, so I tried to lie down and rest my head on her thighs.

It would be a different story if the object was a woman of similar age like Zhu Shi, but at this moment, he felt a little embarrassed as he savored the feeling of his cheek touching the thigh of a ten-year-old girl.

Xiaowan put her hands on my hair, then slowly leaned over and gently hugged my head. The child's body temperature, slightly higher than that of an adult, was transmitted to my face, and I could faintly smell her body scent when she breathed, which reminded me of wet grass after rain.

She stroked my hair and said to herself, "As the saying goes, your own affairs are the hardest to see clearly. Now I understand why I care so much about Brother Zhuang Cheng. I can't ignore your situation and I want to take care of you..."

Take care of me... Listening to her childish voice coming from above, I felt as if the roles were reversed. It was as if I was playing house with a little girl, and was confusedly assigned to the role of the other's child, receiving the other's childish but meticulous care.

The miraculous fluctuations of the power of the divine seal fragment were slowly released from her hands, like comfortable hot water, penetrating into my body and mind.

"Have a good rest, Brother Zhuang Cheng. If you feel tired, it's okay to just fall asleep." Her gentle voice echoed in my ears.

I slowly closed my eyes.

This period lasted for about half a day.

Afterwards, there was a knock on the door of this room.

(End of this chapter)