Indulge in life

On the way back from the hospital, Tang Weichao bought a pair of couplets and a few New Year pictures. Today is the 28th day of the twelfth lunar month.

Although he has only lived alone this year, he still sticks the couplets and New Year pictures carefully according to the old rules, and then stands there looking at them for a long time as he did when he was with his mother in his hometown , With these festive things, it is booming, like the New Year.

A person entered the room and turned on the TV without knowing what channel it was, so he just let the TV play so loudly. He walked into the kitchen, looked at the empty stove, frowned, and opened the refrigerator. It was basically empty inside. I don't have time to buy vegetables recently, so I have no choice but to boil some water, find a bag of Sanquan quick-frozen dumplings, fish them out, bring them to the living room, and watch TV one by one.

The heating in the room was very hot, and he was a little thirsty. He poured some dumpling soup and drank a few sips, and his body became hot. He couldn't help but took off his woolen sweater and ate dumplings in only a thermal underwear.

The taste is not bad, although it is only a few dollars, it is easy to save, otherwise, if one person wants to pack it, I don’t know how long it will take. It's not yet New Year's Eve, it's already ahead of schedule!

Just halfway through eating, someone knocked on the door. Tang Weichao looked at himself. Although his underwear was not elegant, it was quite hot, so he went to open the door.

Outside the door, Jiang Ruochan stood there cautiously and uncomfortably, carrying two big bags in her hands. When she saw him, her eyes were full of sadness and self-blame, but she didn't speak.Just looked at him quietly.

Tang Weichao looked behind her, but there was no sign of Xiaojuan. Knowing that she came alone, he sighed a little, let the door open, and said, "Come in!"

After Jiang Ruochan entered the room, she skillfully found slippers from the shoe cabinet and changed them on, then said with two bags in her arms, "I haven't had time to buy New Year's goods and vegetables yet. I bought some when I came over..."

Tang Weichao nodded, Jiang Ruochan looked at the dumplings in his bowl, and said, "Eat first. Don't let it get cold, I'll just put it away."

After he went back and forth to finish eating, Jiang Ruochan also came back with the things he put away, took the bowl and went to the kitchen to wash it, Tang Weichao hesitated for a moment, and was about to stop her, but she said first: "You just let me do something. Okay ?"

Tang Weichao's heart softened.Still let go, and let her go, after a while, Jiang Ruochan came over with a cup of brewed tea, put it beside him, sat down in front of him, opened her mouth, but didn't know what to say.

"Have all the debts been paid?" It was Tang Weichao who broke the awkward silence between the two of them first.

"It's all cleared up, and they don't ask for interest. The remaining 3 yuan, I brought it here!" Jiang Ruochan lowered her head and said, trying to get it out of her coat pocket.

Tang Weichao estimated that her colleagues would not ask for interest either. After all, it is thankful that the principal can be returned, and it is still before the Chinese New Year.The center of the earth has been hoisted and finally landed.I'm afraid I'm so excited that I can't fall asleep tonight, there's no reason to pick up that little money.But seeing her take back the rest of the money, her face was a little unhappy, and she said, "You take it! Even if you don't want it, it's the money I gave Xiaojuan to make up for her health!"

Maybe it was because his tone of voice was a bit harsh, Jiang Ruochan's complexion changed, and mist immediately appeared in her eyes, but her hand was still stiff by the side of her pocket, she didn't put it in or leave it.

Tang Weichao felt it, and calmed down a little, and said, "Your complexion is not good, so is Xiaojuan. You are all too tired. You have to be careful not to get sick from being tired. Also, don't live in the basement, it's too damp. , it’s not good for your health, move out quickly!”

Jiang Ruochan's lips moved a few times, but she still said, "It doesn't take that much!"

"Everything needs money now. If you rent a house, if you pay for a year at a time, it will cost [-] to [-] yuan at once. Besides, it's not Chinese New Year. Take it first, and you will always need it..." Tang Weichao said, touching the tea table with his hands Smoke on the ground.

Jiang Ruochan had quick eyes and quick hands, and quickly went to get the lighter, lit it for him, then sat on the edge of the sofa, and whispered: "I'm sorry...before..."

"The past is over, so don't mention it!" Tang Weichao coughed a few times, as if the smoke was a little choking.

"But I want to say, I've been holding so many things in my heart, I've always wanted to tell you..." Jiang Ruochan raised her face with tears in her eyes. "If you feel comfortable speaking out, then I can be your audience..." Tang Weichao leaned back and said flatly.

Jiang Ruochan froze for a moment, thought for a while, and said, "I don't care what you think, I just want to say it anyway!"

She paused, looked at the curling smoke of the cigarette in Tang Weichao's hand, and began her narration: "I admit that from the very beginning, I chased you with an ulterior motive. I won a big prize and have a lot of money. This money can be our material security in the future, and you are a very nice person. If I can be with you, I will definitely live a very happy life. This has been proved in our later love. Yes, but I never thought that you are not as rich as I imagined, my expectations suddenly fell from a high place, and my heart became cold..."

"I also admit that I like money. Money is a good thing, isn't it? When I came to this city alone and started my own struggle, I understood this. Without money, I can't do anything, even the basics. Life is not guaranteed! During my school days, I worked three jobs at the same time, just to earn money to pay for my own tuition, to eat and dress, to be able to continue my studies... Later, I gained some work experience and was able to support myself My sister has also been admitted to the university here, and I have to find a way to help her finish her studies!"

"You are also from a poor background, yes, you must be able to imagine my hardships at that time, a student who did not graduate, had to support two people, and had to go to school... I don't know how I survived at that time, Fortunately, not long after graduation, I successfully entered the current hospital. It was because the teacher saw that I was working too hard, and helped me contact the job... After I started working, I felt more at ease. My sister will live a life like me again. I get up early and stay late, do dirty work that others don’t want to do, and take the initiative to work night shifts. I have more night shifts than everyone in the department! I have a little money, so I rent a house , living with my younger sister, watching Xiaojuan grow up happily every day, I don’t know how happy I am, because this is done by my ability!"

Recalling the hard work of the past, Jiang Ruochan couldn't stop crying, one by one, it seemed that they couldn't finish, Tang Weichao felt sad for a while, how could he not understand these hardships? When he came to Yanjing, he didn't She also suffered a lot, but now, it seems that she has not suffered as much as Jiang Ruochan, and it lasted longer.

He took the tissue and handed it over, Jiang Ruochan caught it, nodded, wiped it casually a few times, and said, "I'm really fed up with those hardships. When I see other people making a lot of money and enjoying a better life, I feel very sad." Unbalanced, so I also thought, how can I get that kind of life? I must have paid more hardships than them, but why should I continue to suffer? It’s not fair! Moreover, I hope Xiaojuan can also Living a rich life, our children will no longer suffer like me... Later, I thought and thought, the only way I can do it is to find a rich man to be my husband. For me, it is impossible! Because I have no money, no decent education, and no special ability, only this face and figure, this is my only capital..."

"After I figured this out, I have been looking for a target, but a woman like me has a narrow and low contact surface. How can it be so easy to find a real rich man, let alone a good rich man?" People, I don't want to be someone else's mistress, if I want to, I have a lot of opportunities, but I don't want to, I also want to have my own real happiness..."

"Looking for you, I finally met you. At that time, I thought you were the best choice God gave me. Although there was a purpose at the beginning, but later, I really fell in love with you, but I know After the truth, I couldn't accept the helplessness of shattered expectations for a while, so I proposed to you to break up..."

Tang Wei sighed heavily, and found that the cigarette in his hand had burned his fingers, so he quickly threw it into the ashtray.

"Later, I thought about reconciling with you, but when I thought that you had no money, I hesitated again. Later, someone introduced me to a few men, and I got in touch with them, but I couldn't find any more. I regret the feeling you felt when you were together, separated one after another, but I don't have the face to come to you again..."

"Okay, stop talking!" Tang Weichao waved his hand, he was very confused, Jiang Ruochan had hurt himself emotionally, but thinking about the hardships she had experienced, how could he blame her?

"No, I want to say! Wei Chao, I still have you in my heart, but I know that I am no longer qualified to say I love you, and I don't wish to return to you, but I just want to ask you to forgive me! I'm sorry! I'm really sorry !" Big drops of tears fell from Jiang Ruochan's eyes, like beads with a broken thread, which shows how sad and heartbroken she is.