My years as a fortune teller

After returning to Xi'an, I gave He Simin my mobile phone at that time, so no one notified me.But I found a pile of ashes in front of my house.Uncle, who is burning things in front of my door, isn't this looking for trouble?

But I didn't take this matter to heart. After entering the house, I burned incense for the Patriarch.It was almost seven o'clock in the evening, so I slipped out of the house with a wig I bought a long time ago. I bought this wig when I was visiting Xi'an Town God's Temple with Gao Shengwen last time.This kid also bought me a beard for singing, but I also put it on if it was short.I'll put on some makeup later to see if Erye Cui can still recognize me.I think if Cui Erye is here at this meeting, he must be at the Eight Immortals Temple.

So I wanted to go over and say hello to him, and take the old man to have a meal by the way.But who knew that Gao Shengwen's car was also here when he arrived at the door of Cui Erye.Strange, how this kid also ran over.

I went to the door of Fatty Liu's shop and saw that this bastard also locked the door. What are these guys plotting?I must go and have a look, so as not to set another trap for me.Thinking of this, I straightened my wig and hung my beard on my ears.This will be completely forgotten by me, they don't know what I'm alive.

I sneaked to the door and looked through the crack of the door to see that Professor He and his daughter were there.Even Daren and Zhang Qicheng were there, a group of people murmured as if they were going to visit someone's grave.Looking at the appearances of He Simin and Zhang Qicheng, it seems that there seems to be some conflict between them.

I was thinking about who I was going to bury, when suddenly a basin of water was poured on me.I didn't even have time to turn around, when I heard a woman with a rough voice scold: "You shameless bastard, you dare to eavesdrop after I make out with a man." I haven't figured out what's going on yet, The woman yelled loudly while pulling my hair and beard with her hands.

I was afraid that after Gao Shengwen and others came out, they would mistakenly think that I had really eavesdropped on their night life, so I was so scared that I hugged my head and ran away.I don't know how long I ran, but I looked back and saw that no one was chasing me, so I sat down on the side of the road and took off my hair and beard while panting.

This Shaanxi man has a loud voice, and some women's voices are not small.Sometimes I heard someone yelling towards the sky, and when I walked over, I saw that it was a phone call.There are really many such things, so it is not surprising.

I definitely didn't read the almanac when I went out today, otherwise I wouldn't have met such a shrew.Anyway, I want to go over and see what Cui Erye and his gang are up to.Thinking of this, I secretly turned around from another road and arrived near Cui Erye's shop.

As soon as I walked over, I saw these people walking towards the intersection with ingot paper money and some offerings.I hastily put on my wig and beard, and quietly followed behind, just to see, what are these people going to do?

At the intersection, Cui Erye drew a circle with wine, then threw a handful of paper money in the air and said: "All lonely ghosts, today I am here to sacrifice my brothers, please don't snatch them, all the paper money is for you." Money for road trips." He spat again while talking.After throwing three handfuls in a row, Second Master Cui shouted into the air: "Huzi, we will bring you something. When you receive it, remember to entrust me with a dream."

In fact, when Cui Erye called Huzi, I responded, but his voice was too loud and suppressed my voice. Only then did I realize that these people don't know that I am alive. Thinking of this is a prank in my heart produced.

I tiptoed over, these people were so focused on burning paper money that they didn't notice me.And when I went over, I saw roast chicken and a bowl of cured beef among the offerings.Haha these guys still remember my favorite food.

Taking advantage of their inattention, I grabbed the roast chicken, tore off a chicken leg, took off one side of the beard, and stuffed it into my mouth.Before the chicken legs were chewed, Fatty Liu yelled, "Damn, how dare you eat Huzi's roast chicken."

To be honest, before I had time to turn around, Fatty Liu rushed over and pinned me to the ground.When I was about to shout, a fist fell on me mercilessly. I struggled for a long time before I got up from the ground and got up to run.

But just after running for a few steps, I thought something was wrong, they were offering sacrifices to me.Why can't I eat?Run away after being beaten?Thinking of this, I took off my beard and turned to look at them.Fatty Liu chased after me, and when he saw that I stopped, he raised his fist and was about to hit me.

But the fist stopped in mid-air and looked at me stupidly for a while.Then he shouted: "Oh my god! It's the ghost of Huzi who has returned!" The rest of the people were startled when they heard it.Seeing me, He Simin let out a fright and passed out.

Second Master Cui bravely walked over, looked at me cautiously and said, "Huzi, I know we are the ones who have implicated you this time. Your death is a bit wronged, and the brothers are also very sad. This is not because we are burning you. Paper money, I hope you can live well over there."

I gave him a helpless look, and then shouted: "Open your eyes wide, I am standing here alive and kicking. After driving for a day, Shui Mi didn't come in to see you, but the uncle scolded me for not telling you." Hit me, don't you want to mess around!"

I had just finished yelling when Gao Shengwen shouted: "He is a man and not a ghost, and a ghost has no shadow!"

Fatty Liu was about to come over and hug me as soon as he heard the cheers. I stretched out my hand and pushed him away and said, "You were the one who scolded me just now, and you were the one who beat me the hardest. I'll tell you Er Fatty, I'm very angry. The consequences are serious!" As he spoke, he walked over to pick up the cured beef, and sat down on the side of the road to eat.

After eating two mouthfuls, he looked at them and said, "Where is this beef sold? It doesn't seem to be from Tie Zhiming. Next time, remember to buy some from Tie Zhiming. If it doesn't work, remember to buy Jia Yongxin. But I still like Liu Jixiao, but there are some Salty. By the way, there is no water, only beef is a bit dry."

Everyone, look at me, and I look at you.Gao Shengwen held a bottle and said stupidly: "Can I have some more liquor?" I didn't look at him, but just nodded.He stuffed the liquor into my hand, and I took a sip from the mouth of the bottle.

Then he took it down and looked at it and said: "You are too stingy, you are saying that you are worshiping me. Why don't you have a bottle of Moutai, or a bottle of Wuliangye! Look at you stingy, the whole Putaibai come here, If it doesn’t work, a bottle of Erguotou is fine too!”

After finishing speaking, he continued to bow his head to eat meat, and suddenly Cui Erye and others burst into laughter.Then he came over and hugged me, and asked me how I got out while grabbing and eating the meat in the bowl.I looked up at Zhang Qicheng who was holding He Simin, and said to Professor He: "Old lunatic, your daughter is pregnant!"

As soon as I finished speaking, He Simin cried and said: "Brother Huhu, it's all my fault. I shouldn't have let you go..." I walked over and looked at He Simin who woke up. Now her belly It has risen very high.

I smiled and said: "Hey, your stomach is getting more and more like a bun, but I don't know when it will be steamed. My stomach is so hungry." He Simin was completely stunned when he heard that, and the rest Haha laughed.

I turned to look at them, took the wig off my head and threw it in the air.Shouted loudly: "Master, I'm back today! Brothers, shall we celebrate?" The crowd cheered.

But at this moment, suddenly, someone hugged me and kissed me hard on the cheek.I looked back to see He Simin, and looked at Zhang Qicheng who had changed his expression behind her, and I smiled and said, "I'm so embarrassed, hey, I said, you don't have foot-and-mouth disease, little mantou! Do you need me? I'll go get an epidemic prevention tomorrow." Needle."

The crowd cheered again, and then I noticed that there were many people around.So I beckoned and said: "Let's go, eat barbecue and drink beer!" Coaxed, Gao Shengwen and others all cheered.Although I received two beatings this time, I was very happy in my heart.Because I am in their hearts, I am an indispensable part, we are not only friends, but also brothers...