The big man has a living father

Chapter 92 Persian Dance

While eating mutton, Huo Hai pointed to the front and said, "Dongfang Shuo, who is that?"

Dongfang Shuo looked in the direction Huo Hai pointed: "Oh, you mean him."

Huo Hai: "I'm warning you, I'm not His Majesty, don't make up any good or weird stories to fool me."

"Good, strange, wonderful" are not Buddhist language or words used only by monks.

But it was just something Dongfang Shuo made up out of random nonsense.

For example, Shanzai is the name of a tree in Shanglinyuan.

Dongfang Shuo smiled and said, "How dare I give the second prince a random name?"

Huo Hai was referring to a child who was held in Liu Che's arms.

This child actually sat with Liu Ju, it was obvious that he was of noble status.

But the woman holding him could not be called a noble person in terms of her dress or temperament. At most, she had a pretty face and a good figure.

It turned out to be the second prince.

Dongfang Shuo: "The second prince is Liu Hong, he is three years old this year, his mother is Madam Wang, she passed away this year."

So the one holding him was just an ordinary palace servant?
When Huo Hai heard the name Liu Hong, his heart tightened.

While watching the short video, Huo Hai saw a conspiracy theory about the death of Huo Qubing. One of the speculations was that Huo Qubing interfered in Liu Che's family affairs and was poisoned by Liu Che.

The evidence is that in March of the year when Huo Qubing died, Huo Qubing took the lead and Huo Guang and other ministers jointly wrote a letter requesting that the three princes be conferred the title of king.

It is not a good thing for a prince to be crowned a king. Once he is crowned a king, he has to go to his fiefdom and leave Chang'an to go to his fiefdom.

The three princes were crowned kings together in order to eliminate the threat they posed to Crown Prince Liu Ju.

During this period, the Wei and Huo families could be said to have great power in the government.

The head of all court officials was General Wei Qing, and the fighting during this period was led by Huo Qubing, so in fact Wei and Huo were in charge of all civil and military officials.

Apart from the two of them, the highest-ranking official was the former general Gongsun He.

Gongsun He was the previous prince's attendant and Liu Che's childhood playmate, but Gongsun He's wife was Wei Junru, Wei Qing's brother-in-law and Huo Qubing's uncle.

Don’t forget that the future Chancellor of the Eastern Palace will be Chen Zhang, the second husband of Huo Qubing’s biological mother.

In this situation, it can be said that all the key positions inside and outside the court are held by Huo Qubing's people.

At this time, Huo Qubing asked the three princes to be crowned kings, which was clearly an attempt to force the emperor to abdicate.

However, although this inference sounds reasonable at first glance, it actually has huge loopholes.

That was Huo Guang.

You should know that it was indeed Huo Qubing who took the lead in this matter, but Huo Guang was the second person in the letter.

Moreover, Huo Guang was the Censor and the Minister of the Chancellery before this.

The title of Shangshu Ling in this era was originally a eunuch's official position, which was given to Huo Guang by Emperor Liu Che. It was a position with a salary of 600 stones.

However, less than a month after she was crowned queen, Huo Guang was promoted to the position of Guanglu Dafu Fengche Duwei.

How could Liu Che promote Huo Guang to be the leader of his personal bodyguards before assassinating Huo Qubing?
Therefore, this speculation can only be said to have a tiny possibility, a little truth, and a little theoretical possibility, but it is not actually true.

Huo Hai was not familiar with the entire historical context of Emperor Wu's reign until the end of the Eastern Han Dynasty, but he had seen the life stories of many people through short videos.

But I remember some gossip very clearly.

Now that Liu Hong has appeared, the countdown to Huo Qubing's accident has begun.

Once all three princes are born, the countdown will be over.

Huo Hai had no idea that Liu Dan could never be born. Even if someone gave him this name, it would not be him anymore.

At this time, Liu Che should have favored Li Ji (not Lady Li), the mother of the last two princes, but recently Liu Che had been living in the Prince's Palace to enjoy the heating and had not favored Li Ji at all.

But how could Huo Hai know about this? Huo Hai was already alert.

Huo Hai has already started the countdown in his heart.

On the stage, actors, dwarfs, and rapists appeared one by one.

The whole audience was laughing, but Dongfang Shuo was not looking. He was looking at Huo Hai.

Huo Hai frowned at this time, as if he was thinking about something.

Dongfang Shuo: "After asking about the Second Prince, he frowned. You are really competent as the Prince's attendant."

Huo Hai suddenly raised his head: "Yes, the problem still lies in the root. We must follow the vines to find the root."

It is difficult to solve the problem by eliminating it. The only way to solve the problem is to change the situation.

Huo Hai no longer thought about this question and raised his head: "Where is the performance?"

“Is that a clown on the stage?”

There was a man on the stage at this moment, performing acrobatics with very funny movements.

He is obviously different from those who perform serious acrobatics. Others perform acrobatics mainly to highlight the difficulty and shock, while he performs acrobatics by deliberately failing to catch the ball.

It’s just like in later generations, there are magicians who deliberately make people laugh by performing magic tricks in a way that fails and makes them look foolish.

Dongfang Shuo: "That's called a promiscuous disciple."

"You didn't watch it at all?"

This does not conform to the rumors about the second young master Huo.

Isn't it said that this guy is unruly and loves to laugh the most?

Huo Hai shook his head: "This joke is not dense enough, it doesn't hit the funny point, it's not funny."

Dongfang Shuo pinched his chin: "Funny point."

In fact, this word is very easy to understand. After all, the concepts of acupuncture and acupoints are almost known to everyone.

Dongfang Shuo understood and responded: "Haha, is that what you mean? That's quite appropriate."

As long as it is touched, others will laugh. Touching this place is called the funny point.

After the lecher finished his antics and left the stage, the dwarf appeared on the stage again.

As soon as the dwarf came on stage, everyone turned to look at Dongfang Shuo.

It's obvious that everyone is thinking of the old joke again.

Everyone smiled knowingly.

The dwarf stepped off the stage and the actor came on.

The so-called actor can be identified by looking at the word form. When comparing it with the word "paiyou" (resolving worries and solving problems), you can guess what it does.

To make people laugh, to amuse themselves.

The counselors are much more professional than the prostitutes. They can perform funny dances and tell jokes.

If you have to give them a definition...Asan movie ancient theater version.

Huo Hai: "This joke-telling skill is not as good as yours, and far worse than mine. He is one Dongfang Shuo away from me."

Dongfang Shuo was not convinced: "You are much better at telling jokes than me?"

Huo Hai: "Ah, what else?"

Dongfang Shuo: "Do you dare to come on stage and compete?"

Huo Hai pinched his chin, and the two of them went on stage to tell jokes. Isn't that crosstalk?
Wouldn’t it be like you, the pretended originator of crosstalk, have become the real originator of crosstalk?
Huo Hai: "How do we compare? Who gets the loudest laugh when they say something?" Dongfang Shuo: "Too easy."

Huo Hai: "Then how do we compare?"

Dongfang Shuo: "When it comes to quick wits, we have to compete in reaction. When we go on stage, we say it is choreographed and funny. Whoever is found out that it is not choreographed will lose."

Huo Hai poked his head in: "Are you competing in supporting roles?"

You are just shooting yourself in the foot! I won't tell any jokes, and you can't win.

If I let the words fall to the ground, I lose!

Isn’t the supporting actor the epitome of human deception?

On the other hand, those who graduated from the fooling profession can also make jokes very smoothly.

Moreover, even if the supporting actor has nothing to say, just the universal words alone will make it impossible for the words to fall on the ground.

You have to know that she was smoking, drinking, and having her hair permed that day, and she was drunk when she went on stage to tell crosstalk. She relied purely on her instinctive reaction of "Uh-huh, ah-ah, hey, don't try that on me, look at what you said", which made people think that Taoer was drunk.

In fact, his partner Tao'er was almost driven crazy. She tried all the improvisations she had in her life, but none of them could hold up the universal words of the supporting actor.

It's just that outsiders can't see it.

Huo Hai looked at Dongfang Shuo: "Why are you doing this? Don't you always mock them?" Huo Hai pointed at the stage.

Dongfang Shuo: "I heard you say that a lot of money can make a hero fail?"

Huo Hai: “No money?”

Dongfang Shuo: "Whoever loses will ask your Majesty for money to spend, but the winner will get 70% and the loser will only get 30%."

Huo Hai: "Why is it only 70%?"

Dongfang Shuo raised his eyebrows: "Do you think you will win?"

To be honest, Dongfang Shuo has been taking advantage of everyone in the court over the years by relying on his quick brain and quick mouth. Today was the first time he was taken advantage of by Huo Hai and was taught a lesson. He was simply not convinced!
If Liu Che hadn't passed by, Dongfang Shuo would have had to watch a show today, and all his food and drinks had been taken away by Huo Hai.

Can this be tolerated?

This is intolerable, we must win it back.

Dongfang Shuo actually didn't care about the money. He just spent less.

But if you ask him to admit that he was wronged and wanted to get it back, he would rather say that he was wronged because he was short of money.

We have to compete today.

Huo Hai and Dongfang Shuo are actively preparing here.

A group of people dressed strangely came on stage.

The person standing in the front was telling a joke: "We all came from the west. I heard that in the Han Dynasty, people call our place the Western Regions."

"When we heard that we were going to perform in Dahan, we discussed it and said that we must show our culture to everyone! So, we started from the country closest to Dahan. The person closest to Dahan spoke first, and everyone had to wear a piece of clothing with the characteristics of their hometown to introduce their hometown. The next person to speak had to introduce what the previous person introduced and put on the clothes of the previous person as well."

"I'm the first one here to set an example."

"I'm from Loulan, so I'm wearing Loulan shoes. Chang'an is too cold, so I'm wearing a Chang'an woolen coat."

The second person said: "I came from Qiuci to Loulan and then to Chang'an. I am wearing Qiuci pants, Loulan shoes, and Chang'an woolen coat."

The third person: "I have been from Dayuan to Qiuci, Loulan and Chang'an. I wear a hat from Dayuan, pants from Qiuci, shoes from Loulan and a woolen coat from Chang'an."

One person after another accumulated.

It was the last person, who looked like the big man, but had a weather-beaten look. His expression on the stage as if asking, "What did you all talk about?" made the people in the audience laugh.

He asked the person in front of him, "Are you from Daxia?"

The person in front: "From Persia."

The last person asked the third person from the end, "Are you from Daxia?"

The third person: "I am here to rest."

After the last person greeted, he made a funny expression and said: "I have been to Egypt, Persia, and Parthia..."

When he said this, he was "trying hard to think and recall", and the audience below were amused.

The last person ran to the first person and said, "How about we switch? You say you are from Egypt, and I say I am from Loulan."

Loulan people: "Can this be exchanged? Can the ones from your hometown be exchanged?"

The Egyptian looked shy: "Actually, I can also be a Loulan."

Because the accent was strange and funny enough, everyone laughed.

The last person interrupted the laughter seriously and said to the audience in a Western accent: "Don't laugh, why don't you be an Egyptian? Why are the Egyptians so far away from Chang'an? They only have one sentence to introduce themselves, but here I have such a long string of words."

The people in the audience were waiting for this group of people who looked different from the Han people to start their performance, but Huo Hai was confused.

Huo Hai carefully thought about what the Chinese word "Egypt" meant and which word it was from his previous life.

I thought about it for a long time but couldn't come up with it.

The man on the stage threw down the glove for the third time. This time he said, "I am Egyptian. Our place is an oasis in the desert. It is very hot. I don't wear any clothes."

Because the rule of the performance is that everyone must say the place names and clothes worn by all the people in front of them, the last person's desperate act is quite funny.

He took off his clothes and threw them on the ground, leaving only his white pants. He felt so cold that his upper and lower teeth were chattering: "It's too hot where we are. I just wear pants. Actually, I don't like to wear clothes."

He gestured for the Loulan people to continue their introductions.

In the biting cold wind, he shivered while saying stubbornly: "What are your clothes? No need to introduce, just start the next part."

All the people in front were looking at him, folding their arms and stepping on tiptoe, as if they were waiting for him to freeze to death.

The two sides were in a stalemate and everyone watching was laughing.

The Egyptian was shivering from the cold, and couldn't help putting on all the clothes that were thrown on the ground one by one: "Although we Egyptians don't wear clothes, people in Chang'an do. I heard there is a saying that goes 'When in Rome, do as the Romans do,' so I better put on my clothes."

The people in front of him tried to stop him from putting on his clothes: "You Egyptians don't wear clothes!"

The Egyptian grabbed the clothes and put them on: "It's cool now, and I can remember what I was wearing."

"I wear the trousers of Egypt, the veil of Persia, the lining of Parthia, the sheepskin of Bactria..."

He really remembered it.

The people watching in the audience were applauding.

The first person stood up again and said: "We came from far away to the Han Dynasty. We are very happy to meet the great Emperor of the Han Dynasty. We decided to present a gift to the Emperor of the Han Dynasty with our hometown dance."

After saying that, he performed a Loulan dance.

The Kucha people at the back performed the Loulan dance moves plus a Kucha dance move, and the Dayuan people at the back added the Dayuan dance moves.

They added one by one, until it came to the Persian one. He danced all the previous moves, then danced a Persian dance that was longer than all the previous moves, and finally danced the neck-twisting dance and looked at the Egyptian.

All the people in front did the neck-twisting movement together and looked at the last Egyptian.

Now the audience knew where the joke was.

It was obvious that all the people in front were doing it on purpose, trying to make things difficult for the last Egyptian.

After seeing this, Huo Hai finally knew who these people were.

They really didn't do anything stupid, they actually danced their own representative dance. At the beginning, a few people danced the foreign dance, but when they got to the Persian part, Huo Hai immediately recognized that it was the ancient Persian dance.

The last person came from a place farther than Persia? And he had yellow skin, black hair and black eyes? And he said he came from a desert oasis...

Isn't that Egypt? ! ! !
This guy is an ancient Egyptian?!
(End of this chapter)