The first tumor in football

Chapter 179 When the perpetual motion machine comes to the green field, any tactic will become performance art
The dressing room passage at Portman Road.

"They don't even have a professional physiotherapist." Guardiola's fingers unconsciously stroked the edge of the tactical board, thinking of what he saw ten minutes ago: Ipswich's substitutes were using ice buckets to cool the main players. At this moment, the scent of lavender essential oil was floating in his locker room, but it made his temples throb.

There was a sudden metallic collision at the corner of the passage. Three stadium maintenance workers in orange overalls were pushing a cart full of ice cubes. Guardiola saw a few bottles of sports drinks frozen in the ice cubes - this is a typical "low temperature physiotherapy" for the English Championship team. He suddenly remembered those nights when he discussed tactics in the simple locker room when he coached Barcelona B team 20 years ago.

Manchester City dressing room

De Bruyne tossed his sweat-soaked shin guards into the equipment box and looked up into Walker's red eyes. "That kid must have used stimulants." The right-back slammed his fist on the locker, making the energy drink cans clink. "Running 48 kilometers in 12 minutes? Does he think this is a triathlon?"

The locker room fell into an eerie silence, with only a slight hum from the ventilation system. Jesus suddenly laughed out loud: "Remember last season's Champions League against Paris? Neymar ran 11.8 kilometers." The Brazilian striker wiped his left arm, which was tattooed with Bible verses, with a towel, "But that was the full-game data."

"Quiet!" Guardiola tapped the whiteboard with a marker, and the tactical diagram on the LCD screen shook. He suddenly noticed that Gundogan was secretly massaging his calf muscles, and the edges of the German's sports socks were an unnatural purple-red. "Ilkay," he asked softly in German, "Do you feel a burning sensation in your muscles?"

Gundogan pulled his hand back abruptly, like a student caught cheating in class. This detail made Guardiola's heart tighten - his midfield engine was running at overload.

Guardiola's face suddenly turned ugly.

Although most of Manchester City's players did not run much in the first half, this did not include Gundogan who was marking Song Wen.

Obviously, our midfielder seems to be unable to hold on any longer.

Guardiola circled Song Wen's running track with a red pen: "We need it in the second half."

He looked at Fernandinho.

"Fernandinho, you have to keep a close eye on Song Wen in the second half." Guardiola marked a new interception area on the tablet. Gundogan was obviously no longer competent for this job. "According to the data model." He called up Song Wen's running heat map this season. "When the game reaches 75 minutes, his range of movement will expand by 20%."

Guardiola loosened his tie and recalled the AI ​​analysis report he saw in the Manchester University laboratory last week. The doctor in the white coat said: "The physical fitness curve of this Chinese player does not conform to any known sports science model."

And in the Douyin live broadcast room.

Fan Zhiyi took off his headset, and there were already three cigarette butts in the ashtray. "Look at this," he turned the tablet to Zhan Jun, "Song Wen's instantaneous speed when he made a forward run reached 34.2km/h, 0.3 faster than Walker's fastest sprint this season." The blue light on the screen reflected the solemn faces of the two men, and the sound of the home fans singing "The Never Tired No. 17" could be heard in the distance.

Zhan Jun couldn't help but shook his head and laughed.

"This kid, was he born to break records and create history?"

Zhan Jun used his fingers to enlarge the heat distribution map: "What's more terrifying is his return efficiency. Look at this time when he chased back and tackled the enemy." The commentator suddenly paused, and the broadcast screen cut to a close-up on the sidelines: Song Wenzhen tilted his head back and drank a bottle of lavender liquid, his Adam's apple rolling violently as he swallowed.

"That's beetroot juice." Fan Zhiyi lit up his fourth cigarette. "It's popular in the Premier League now. But..." He squinted at Song Wen's bloodshot eyes in the slow-motion replay. "When I was playing football, if there were young people running like this, the team doctor would have rushed into the field long ago."

At this time, the comments in the live broadcast room were also full of discussions.

[No, I, King Song, broke the record again? ]

[I seriously suspect this guy is an alien. ]

[To be honest, Song Wen is a lizard man. I have a high-definition photoshopped picture here.]

[Guo Tu's speech in the locker room: tactics board.jpg×3]

[Song Wen's running calories = five leek boxes (data from a green APP)]

[It is recommended that Manchester City hire Bolt as a physical coach]

[Ipswich team doctor: Learning nuclear reactor maintenance]

[Guardiola buys treadmill stocks during halftime break]

And in the northwest corner of the stands.

Manchester City fan Stephen took out his anti-anxiety pills, and the screen saver on his phone was a photo of his daughter wearing De Bruyne's jersey. He remembered what little Emma said before he left, "Dad will come back with a smile on his face," but found that his palms were all sticky with a mixture of hand cream and cold sweat.

"Would you like some beer?" The old man from Ipswich, who was sitting next to me, handed over a plastic cup. "Your No. 10 made a great pass." The old man smiled with his missing front teeth. "But our No. 17." He pointed at Song Wen who was warming up. "Does he look like Kevin Beattie in 1978?"

Stephen suddenly froze - his father's last words were about the legendary captain who led Ipswich to create miracles. At this moment, the big screen on the sidelines suddenly cut out a historical picture: in the black and white image, Kevin Beattie also sent a precise cross from the left.

When the second half started, Guardiola's tactical board had turned into an abstract art piece - with 17 red arrows drawn on it, all pointing to Song Wen's No. jersey. When the broadcast camera swept over the Manchester City bench, the sharp-eyed audience noticed that the Spanish coach was searching "how to stop terminator" on his mobile phone.

"Dear audience, now let me explain to you the most exciting scene of this game - a close-up of Guardiola's tactical board!" Zhan Jun held back his laughter. "We saw Guardiola use ketchup to draw a little man being torn apart by five horses. Could this be the secret oriental tactic of stabbing the little man?"

There was another cigarette butt in Fan Zhiyi's ashtray: "If you ask me, this is legitimate defense. Look, Song Wen is still doing high-leg warm-up exercises. I suggest that Ipswich install a treadmill on the grass to prevent this kid from running the field bald."

At this point, the comments were already going crazy:

[Gua Tu search history: 1. Antimatter weapons 2. Perpetual motion machine principle 3. How to report aliens]

[Song Wen's warm-up exercise: step on the wind-fire wheel with the left foot and somersault cloud with the right foot]

[Suggest FIFA to amend the rules: Song Wen needs to compete in the shot put with weight]

[Guardiola sent a text message to Song Wen: V me 50, I will let you win this game]

In the 51st minute of the game, Manchester City was still stubbornly embroidering in the midfield and backcourt. De Bruyne had just received a short pass when he suddenly felt a chill on the back of his neck - Song Wen actually started from ten meters away and flew towards him like an intercontinental missile. The Belgian midfielder hastily passed the ball, and the football hit Song Wen's calf and bounced out of the sideline.

"Sixth successful interception!" Zhan Jun looked at the statistics and shook his head, "Song Wen turned Ding Ding into Hello Kitty today!"

Guardiola performed a mime on the sidelines, making big circles with his hands above his head, like a child whose ice cream was taken away. The subtitles of the broadcast timely displayed comparative data: Manchester City's pass success rate plummeted from 92% to 74%, while Song Wen's personal running distance had reached 15.8 kilometers.

At this time, Guardiola's head was already covered with a layer of wax.

Seeing that the pass was not intercepted again, he sighed and his eyes dimmed.

Is there really something wrong with my passing and controlling of the ball? !

In fact, as early as the halftime break, Guardiola had already begun to question himself with lack of confidence.

There was nothing wrong with the way our players played today.

But why did the game turn out like this?

If there is nothing wrong with the players, then who is the problem?
He could only rely on himself. He glanced at De Bruyne, who was a little confused on the field.

In fact, Guardiola often hears some voices that his tactical style of play, in a sense, limits the performance of De Bruyne, the talented midfielder.

Now, seeing that the team couldn't achieve anything under his passing and controlling tactics, Guardiola finally became completely shaken.

While the ball was out of bounds, Guardiola called De Bruyne and whispered something in his ear.

An incredible expression appeared on the Belgian's face, and then he nodded firmly.

As the game continued, Zhan Jun was the first to notice that Manchester City's formation had changed.

And when he saw De Bruyne start to try long passes from outside the penalty area to Ipswich's penalty area, he was so surprised that his eyes almost popped out.

"Eh? Manchester City actually changed their tactics! I felt something was wrong just now. We saw that the distance between their players was much wider, and there were more long passes!"

Fan Zhiyi couldn't help laughing out loud.

"What's going on? What's wrong with Guardiola? He has been sticking to the passing and controlling style of football for so long, but why is he not so firm when he meets Song Wen?"

However, as soon as Fan Zhiyi's laughter stopped, the scene in the live broadcast made him unable to laugh anymore.

De Bruyne kicked the ball again outside the penalty area, and his cross found Aguero perfectly!

Aguero heads the ball directly into the goal!
"The ball went in! Manchester City actually played a long pass!" Zhan Jun's tone was like seeing a mermaid riding a bicycle. "The mineral water bottles in Guardiola's coaching booth were all shocked!"

The entire football world was trembling. The broadcast camera switched rapidly: Guardiola was tearing up his passing and control bible, the Manchester City bench collectively performed a "scream" of the famous painting, and the Ipswich goalkeeper knelt in front of the goal line and doubted his life.

Barrage instant nuclear explosion:

[Song Wen: It only took 63 minutes for the passing and controlling master to switch to playing in the English Championship]

【Gua Bald’s Awakening: What’s the point of tiki-taka? Staying alive is the most important thing】

[Ding Ding: Didn’t you expect that? I have a plan B! ]

[Aguero's goal celebration: Give Guardiola CPR]

[It is suggested that this game be renamed "On the Dimensionality Reduction Attack of Perpetual Motion Machine on Football Philosophy"]

Fan Zhiyi almost choked on the smoke: "Wow! This long pass is more Stoke City than Stoke City! Zhan Jun, look at Guardiola's expression, it's like he was struck by lightning!"

Indeed, the Spanish coach was clutching his assistant's tie. The scoreboard at Portman Road flashed 1-1, and the big screen showed a heat map at the right time - the yellow spots representing Manchester City's long passes were exploding like fireworks in Ipswich's half.

"Wow, in that case, Ipswich was tied by Manchester City. Guardiola's sudden tactical change can be said to have caught Ipswich off guard."

However, when he saw Manchester City's goal, Song Wen did not panic.

Because he knew that when Manchester City gave up their most familiar passing and controlling style of play, the game was over.

In the 68th minute, Song Wen was elbowed down by Walker in a header, but he stood up and sent a free kick as soon as the referee whistled. The football was like a precision-guided missile, finding Grealish who was tying his shoelaces.

"One-on-one! One-on-one! Grealish faced Ederson - oh! The ball hit the billboard!" Zhan Jun was heartbroken, "The mineral water bottles on the Ipswich bench collectively jumped off the building!"

The barrage is crazy about memes:

[Song Wen's quick skill: Medical Miracle +1]

[Walker: I elbowed a human, not a Saiyan! ]

[Billboard sponsors are ecstatic: this wave of huge profits]

[Guardiola applied to check Song Wen's spine material]

When Aguero's header hit the crossbar again in the 75th minute, the broadcast camera captured Guardiola scribbling frantically on his notebook. Sharp-eyed netizens took a screenshot and enlarged it, and found a simple drawing of Song Wen locked in an iron cage, with the words "Must buy in winter window" marked next to it.

As the game entered the last ten minutes, a magical realist scene appeared on the field: Manchester City kicked the ball in the backcourt, and Ipswich kicked the ball in the backcourt. The two teams seemed to have suddenly traveled back to the 1980s. Song Wen turned into a free electron at this time, accurately predicting the landing point of the long pass flying in the sky.

In the 87th minute, Song Wen intercepted Otamendi's desperate clearance in the center circle. From a bird's eye view, he saw De Bruyne quietly moving towards the penalty area, leaving Walker with a vacuum on the right. But this time, he chose to gently pass the ball to Skuse who was unguarded.

"Song Wen chose teamwork!" Zhan Jun's commentary was trembling, "Scuse rushed forward with the ball, Grealish was involved on the left, this was Ipswich's last chance!"

The whole stadium suddenly fell silent. Song Wen penetrated the penalty area like an arrow, but Skuse's cross somehow hit the side net. Just as Manchester City fans were about to catch their breath, the referee suddenly pointed to the penalty spot - the replay showed that Walker had pulled down McGoldrick during the header!
"Penalty! A penalty in the 89th minute of the game!" Fan Zhiyi's cigarette butt fell on the commentary desk. "Song Wen held the ball and walked towards the penalty spot. If he scores, it will be the winning goal!"

The broadcast camera swept across the audience: a little Manchester City fan covered his eyes and peeked through his fingers, an old lady from Ipswich held a cross and muttered something. Guardiola's windbreaker was wrinkled into 18 folds, and Ederson performed a confusing hip-hop dance in front of the goal line.

Song Wen put the ball in place, and when he took three steps back to prepare for a run-up, the God's perspective was suddenly triggered - he clearly saw the goalkeeper's knees slightly bent inward, which was a precursor to a dive to the right.

"Spoon penalty!" Zhan Jun's roar shattered the glass of the live broadcast room, "The ball went in! Song Wen killed the game in the most elegant way! Ipswich leads 2-1!"

The entire Portman Road stadium turned into a boiling crater. Song Wen's celebration action of rushing to the corner flagpole was made into a world-famous painting: behind him were the Manchester City players kneeling on the ground and beating their chests, and the fluttering scarves in the stands were like a sea of ​​victory. The big screen showed terrifying data: the running distance was 22.3 kilometers, setting a Premier League single-game record.

The barrage is completely crazy:

[It is recommended to check whether Song Wen’s shoes are equipped with Tesla batteries]

[Guardiola ordered "The Art of War" overnight]

[MVP of this game: Song Wen’s sports bracelet]

[Ipswich supermarket announcement: quick-acting heart-saving pills sold out]

When the final whistle blew, the broadcast camera recorded two historic scenes: Guardiola took the initiative to hug Song Wen and secretly pinched his biceps, and De Bruyne took off his jersey and insisted on exchanging with Song Wen. Seven of the top ten trending searches on Twitter were about this game. Under the topic #Passing and controlling is dead#, fans were using screenshots of Song Wen sprinting to create a dynamic Bible.

Zhan Jun concluded his speech: "This game tells us that when a perpetual motion machine comes to the pitch, any tactic will become performance art." And Fan Zhiyi's closing remarks were even more insightful: "Guardiola will definitely not be able to sleep tonight - his bed is full of Song Wen's running phantoms!"

(End of this chapter)