I am not Yuan Shu

Chapter 102 Does this feel like an appointment?

Zhang Hong only knew that he had been repeating Yuan Shu's words over and over again, as if he had reached a dead end and could not get out.

There is no such thing as thinking, rebuttal, questioning or confusion.

Only four characters remain.

Preparation Saints
These four words reappeared in his mind and before his eyes over and over again in permutations and combinations. His mind and heart were entirely focused on these four words, with nothing else in mind.

He was surrounded and buried by these four words, and his whole body was immersed in them involuntarily.

When he finally came to his senses, he was surprised to find that it was already late at night.

He didn't know when he had returned to his residence and was sitting on his bed. He didn't know how many hours had passed.

His stomach had been growling angrily, his lips were dry and peeling, and his whole body was protesting against him desperately. Only then did he realize that he was very short of food and water, and the feeling of hunger and thirst almost overwhelmed him.

So he quickly stood up and went out to find food.

Of course there was no food left in the Imperial College cafeteria, so he groped his way to the kitchen in the dark, where he found a few cold steamed buns and some pickled vegetables.

He grabbed it and wolfed it down, then drank a bucket of water, barely calming his body's dissatisfaction.

After the body's resistance subsided, wise thinking took over again. Zhang Hong returned to his residence, sat on the bed, and recalled everything that happened during the day.

It's not that he knew nothing about Yuan Shu's philosophy of mind. On the contrary, having read "Mencius's Interpretation" and "On Knowing and Doing", he had a considerable understanding of Yuan Shu's philosophy of mind and had his own opinions on the propositions put forward by Yuan Shu.

And there is a vague sense of recognition.

But it was only a little bit, not too much. The main reason was that he felt that Yuan Shu was still young, not even older than him, so it was too frivolous for him to propose such a proposition of saving the world and governing the country.

But this time, he saw Yuan Shu with his own eyes and listened to his lectures with his own ears, and then he realized that he seemed to have made a mistake before.

Yuan Shu was indeed young, only fifteen years old, two years younger than him.

However, a person's age, ambition and talent do not seem to be positively correlated at certain times. It does not seem correct to use age to judge whether a person is reliable.

In the Imperial College, he met too many old scholars in their forties and fifties, all of whom were well-read and seemed very knowledgeable, but none of them had ever proposed the idea that "everyone can become a saint" or "prepare to be a saint."

On the contrary, Zhang Hong often heard that a certain doctor had close ties with eunuchs, or had a lot of dealings with other powerful people. In short, no one was as great and glorious as they appeared to be.

So are these people really qualified to judge and criticize eunuchs?

Just as Yuan Shu said, he was clearly doing the same thing, but he only said bad things about others and not about himself. Is it a good thing for scholars to be corrupt?
This is obviously nonsense.

In Zhang Hong's opinion, it takes courage to say such words in such an occasion. Since the Party and Factions Persecution occurred, many things are no longer simply about the matter and not the person, but simply about the person and not the matter.

As long as the person is not good enough, nothing can be done.

Eunuchs are bastards. Everything they do is bad, not a single good thing.

Party members are role models in the world. No matter what they do, they have their own reasons and good intentions.

Zhang Hong once thought so, but now...

He was shaken.

Yuan Shu's speech fundamentally denied the diode comparison theory between eunuchs and scholars. He bravely challenged the facts recognized by everyone based on facts. He also promoted his own doctrine and put the underlying logic of Yuan's philosophy of mind in front of everyone.

The Han Dynasty was in decline, and that was indeed because of the people. But it was not the eunuchs or the foreign relatives who were incompetent; it was everyone. Everyone was rubbish.

Eunuchs are trash, and scholars without spiritual support are also trash. They are all carriers of desires, walking corpses, driven purely by desires, with no other source of motivation.

How good can a country controlled by a group of zombies be?
Therefore, if we want to change the current situation, we must not just eradicate the eunuchs and those so-called treacherous officials. If we kill a group of trash and replace them with another group of trash, will the situation get better?

The situation will only improve if we clear out the garbage and replace the country with clean people!

The enemy is not the eunuchs, the relatives of the emperor or a special group of people, but all the walking dead driven by desire!

And the path to salvation lies therein!

Those who still have a conscience and do not want to go along with the crowd must rise up, must stick together, integrate all their strength, establish themselves on conscience, take conscience as their belief, and make becoming saints their goal. Only in this way can they truly be saved!

“But can I become a saint?”

Zhang Hong couldn't help but mutter to himself.

He put his hands in front of his eyes and looked at his body.

Can I really become a saint?
Can I really transcend the shackles of desire and become a saint?
Conscience?

Where is conscience?
Do I really have it?
In Zhang Hong's heart, doubts about himself and yearning for the future were intertwined, colliding and rubbing against each other, sparks of thought flying everywhere, making him confused and unable to control himself.

He stayed up all night.

Wang Lang also stayed awake all night.

Since he followed Yang Ci to learn from Shangshu Ouyang, he has been very proud. Yang Ci has a high status and the Yang family is of high status. Studying with Yang Ci is definitely a road to success.

But in just six or seven days, especially the lecture during the day, his past cognition and all his pride seemed to have vanished. He had never imagined that his cognition would be shaken so much in such a short period of time.

The purpose of studying is not to become an official or to gain power, but to become a sage.

The reason why the world situation today is in a critical situation is because scholars dare not and are unwilling to become sages. They have lost the ideal of becoming sages and have become walking corpses.

Does Yuan Shu mean that I am also a walking corpse?

Does this mean that my friends and classmates are also zombies?

Does this mean that Yang Ci is also a walking corpse?
Wang Lang was somewhat frightened and uneasy by his own thought.

Then, he suddenly remembered that when he was in Hongnong, several classmates were dissatisfied with Yang Ci because they were scolded by him for not studying hard, so they spoke ill of Yang Ci.

They said that although Yang Ci looked down on the Yuan family on the surface, he still arranged for a woman from the Yuan family to marry his son. The so-called purpose was nothing more than to use the relationship with the Yuan family to avoid being targeted by the eunuchs, which was the same as the Xun family.

No matter how dissatisfied he is with the eunuchs, his body is still honest. In order to avoid disaster, he does not hesitate to use his relationship with the marriage, but he also promotes himself on the political level. It is really hypocritical.

Wang Lang was very dissatisfied with these classmates at the time, thinking that they were slandering Yuan Shu out of resentment after being reprimanded by the teacher. He did not agree with it. However, thinking back to the series of events before, and Yang Ci taking the lead in criticizing Yuan Shu, he really could not help but consider it from this perspective.

Even if we put all these aside and don't care about them, the four words "preparing sage" that Yuan Shu said really shook his soul.

When he started to study Confucianism, he was already preparing to become a sage. So has he actually been preparing to become a sage all these years?

Can he also become a saint?

When did saints become so common?

Wang Lang was confused, frightened, and worried, but he couldn't help but yearn for the word "sage" and couldn't extricate himself.

Young people were like this, and even the slightly older Ma Riti and Cai Yong could not escape from it.

They did not have Zhang Hong's trance, nor Wang Lang's panic. After Yuan Shu finished his lecture, they returned to their residence safely. However, after returning home, they both sat on the cushions and began to stare blankly without saying a word.

An hour later, Cai Yong spoke first.

"Uncle Weng, do you... have any opinion on Yuan Shu's lectures? Didn't you know about this before?"

Cai Yong broke the silence, and Ma Riti did not remain silent either.

He shook his head.

"I have been an official in Luoyang and proofreading books with you in the Eastern Palace. How could I have the time to understand his doctrine? I have only heard about it occasionally, but never understood it deeply."

"Do you think what he said makes sense?"

"this…………"

Ma Riti looked at Cai Yong, and Cai Yong also looked at Ma Riti, and the two fell into silence again.

Regardless of whether they verbally acknowledged it or not, their mental state could not be faked. The two of them were silent, thinking, and recalling the resonance and tremor that came from the bottom of their hearts when they listened to Yuan Shu's voice.

them……

Want to be a saint?

Don’t you want to be a saint?
Can you become a saint by following your conscience?
All kinds of questions linger in my mind, and I always feel that there are too many confusions that have not been answered.

It has to be said that Yuan Shu’s public lecture this time had an extremely explosive effect.

Except for a few people who hated Yuan and Yuan Shu and were enemies of them, most neutral people and even those who were just there for fun had selectively forgotten that their original purpose of attending the lectures was to find out the gossip about Yuan and to know what else Yuan could do in such a dire situation.

They are out to have fun, they are out to join in the excitement, they want to see rivers of blood!
As a result, he didn't notice the river of blood, but instead he got stuck in it.

After listening to a long speech commenting on the current situation, my heart was pounding and my head was hot. Then, I accidentally failed to avoid it and was inexplicably labeled as a "potential sage" by Yuan Shu.

Then, inexplicably, he became a potential sage on the path to sagehood.

This sudden change left them stunned and surprised.

I wondered how I could have become a saint after living a mediocre life for so long.
They felt that they were not being modest. They simply felt that they were not worthy of being saints because of their appearance.

But Yuan Shu insisted that you have all been chosen by the sages, and you are the prepared sages and the future sages.

Does this feel like an appointment?

Can scoundrels like them become saints?

Confused and perplexed.

And, the inexplicable expectation...

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(End of this chapter)