Who let this Dementor into Hogwarts!

Chapter 273: Not a family, don’t enter the same family
“I’ll have your chimera take Harry and the others away,” Edward said, frowning, but his primary concern right now was clearly not Harry and the others. “When did you learn the Patronus Charm?”

“Back in first year,” Cohen said, “forget about my Patronus—as if yours were some kind of normal creature! You didn’t tell me your Patronus was actually a Dementor, did you… Now you can’t be Minister for Magic—”

“Your father never wanted to be Minister of Magic, okay…” Edward looked down at Cohen, “What did you guys do outside just now?”

“We’ve figured out the killer,” Cohen replied, “and the secret is hidden in Mr. Raven’s room, number 103. But after this fake 'Cohen' appeared, I’ve lost all interest in playing detective games—they actually made something that looks just like me, and then put it on my face in my room, hugging my dad and turning its head to breathe on me!”

Cohen grew angrier the more he thought about it—this was going too far! If these people aren't good enough, they shouldn't be creating weird and strange things that harm people!
“Wait a minute—what did you mean by having the chimeras take Harry and the others away—” Cohen turned around and questioned. “You’re going with them too. Don’t expect any ‘father sacrificing himself to save his son’ scenes. You seem to have a tiny bit of doubt about my survival skills…”

“I won’t leave,” Edward said calmly. “I wouldn’t when you were one year old, and I won’t now.”

“Then I’ll have to control you.” Cohen raised his wand at Edward. “Take a step back and say, ‘Cohen, I’m disappointed in you,’ then get out of here with Harry and the others. The lion and the goat are very good at escaping…”

Edward chuckled softly, as if amused by Cohen.

“If I were a bachelor, I probably would have run away by now,” Edward said. “But I’m a father now. Either I get knocked out, or I’ll stay by your side—no parent would want to leave their child to face danger alone. I’ve always been a coward and I’m afraid to go through that kind of ordeal.”

"It's not dangerous."

Cohen poked Edward in the stomach with his wand and threatened him menacingly.
"If you don't behave, I'll use the Imperius Curse to make you lose your mind in Diagon Alley and then call your mother to catch you cheating—Mr. Norton, you don't want Rose to see you spending the night in a nightclub, do you?"

Edward's expression changed drastically.

That little rascal, he really knows how to find someone's weakness...

But the two remained locked in this stalemate for half a minute.

Edward did not back down, and Cohen did not use the Imperius Curse.

"Bad, bad, bad!" Cohen exclaimed angrily. "Didn't Dumbledore and Nicolas say I was heartless? These old men are all liars!"

“So let’s accept reality.” Edward breathed a sigh of relief; at least he wouldn’t have to kneel on a washboard as punishment by Rose—others might be joking when they said that, but Cohen might actually do it. “Your dad isn’t anyone to be underestimated.”

“I need to be ready to extract your soul and store it before any danger strikes, just in case you get killed by some madman’s Avada Kedavra curse,” Cohen said angrily. “Do you know how hard it is to create a body? I’m going to steal five thousand kids’ lollipops!”

The customizable human bodies in the shop cost 5,000 sin points each, which is very expensive. Moreover, considering the shelf life of the soul, Cohen has to work harder to earn sin points.

I might end up on a blacklist among underage people in the UK...
-
The chimera quickly sent Harry and the others away. Before the three could protest, the lion blasted a fireball through the hotel wall, sending dust and glass shards flying downwards. Harry and the others were stunned.

“I won’t lose money on this hotel,” Cohen said seriously.

“We have no money,” said the sheep-headed man. “It’s time to leave, kids.”

The longhorned water snake coiled around Harry and Hermione, while the lion bit Ron's collar.

"Ah ah ah ah ah!!!"

Ron screamed in horror as he was being held, feeling something sticky dripping down his back.

"Roar..." The lion shook its head in dissatisfaction.

"That child is pitiful," the long-horned water snake said, turning to Cohen.

"What do you mean?" Cohen asked, frowning.

[Literal meaning.] The water snake said, [That child who looks a bit like you.]

The water snake, along with Harry and his two companions, vanished from the room, taking them into the air as if they had disappeared into thin air.

"So..." the count tilted his head and asked, "what's the point of them coming all this way?"

“It’s frustrating for me,” Cohen said, pursing his lips. “Life is about constantly frustrating and then smoothing things out, frustrating again and smoothing things out again, being forced to experience this poop-like feeling over and over again—you tell me, my dear father.”

"Are you describing me as someone who annoys you or... a pile of shit?" Edward asked, half of his face twitching.

“I’m just retaliating by covering up the fact that you moved me,” Cohen sighed. “When did your Patronus become a Dementor?”

"Starting the year before last?" Edward recalled. "I don't quite remember, because I don't usually use this spell—you know, using this magic to amuse you is a bit too much..."

"Demonstrate it! Demonstrate it!" the count clamored. "I want to see a scene of filial piety and parental love!"

"How about I demonstrate the new hair-plucking spell I learned?" Cohen glared at the Earl. "Are you still going to save Mr. Flandre or not?"

“Oh, thank God or Merlin or whatever, you finally remembered that one of our cats has been kidnapped?” the Earl exclaimed.

“Hmm…?” Edward frowned. “I remember you told me about Wernher von Braun being kidnapped? The one who was Hogwarts’ Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher for half a semester? When did our cat… wait—don’t tell me that cat is actually a—” Edward thought of something bad—

“No,” Cohen said. “I just almost forgot there was another living person who was also kidnapped—”

"What the hell? What are you doing up there—God, what have you done?!" A man burst through the door—the old man in the suit was staring in disbelief at everything that was happening in the room.

“Calm down.” Edward raised his wand at him. “Pass out!”

A beam of red light struck the guy who was still trying to press Cohen and Edward about everything that had happened there.

"I'm sorry, I'll erase your memory again later," Edward said politely to the unconscious man.

"Dad! What did you do to my dad—"

"Fainted." Cohen cast a stun spell on the rushing young Deng.

"What the hell is that noise!" The tour guide was the third to arrive at the door, still in his pajamas and yawning. "I heard it—oh my god!"

He stared at Edward and Cohen, who were using wooden sticks to restrain what appeared to be a dead man. His first reaction was surprise, his second was…

Just run away!

"Faint and collapsed." The count lazily cast a spell at the tour guide.

Edward and Cohen both turned to look at the Earl.

"Good bird," Cohen complimented.

"You have magic!" Edward exclaimed in horror.

"Birds of the same kind live together..." the count said. "Have you noticed? I'm a bird, and this saying is about birds too. How wonderful—"

“Shut up,” Cohen said. “A joke gets boring after being used twice.”

“This owl can even chant spells!” Edward repeated.

"Doesn't your son know magic too?" the count said angrily. "Dementors are allowed to use magic, but owls aren't? What kind of world is this—"

“It’s alright, I’m used to it,” Cohen reassured Edward. “To be honest, it’s rare for any of my pets to be unable to use magic—the Earl is the only one so incompetent that he needs a wand to cast spells…”

"Say that again!" the count shouted angrily, jumping up and down.

Cohen loved watching the Earl get angry but helpless—the bird provided plenty of emotional value.

The world was spared destruction thanks in part to this owl.

After neatly arranging the guide, Old Deng, and Young Deng in a row in the room, Cohen, Edward, and the Earl went to the first-floor hall.

The crow's head, who was originally locked in a small room and tied up, has disappeared, along with Miss Beatrice, the "murderer."

“I remember there was a girl here, wasn’t there?” Edward asked, frowning.

“The deceased’s sister,” Cohen explained quickly. “She killed her sister because Crowhead told her that she could gain eternal life by killing someone in this hotel—just like the note said, ‘One dies, another is enlightened.’”

“If that were the case, this place would have been taken over by wizards long ago,” Edward sighed.

Cohen neither agreed nor disagreed.

The two people and the bird arrived at room 103. Mr. Crow's room was very tidy, with no signs of "human activity" except for some light marks on the bed.

This is quite normal—Mr. Crow isn't a living person at all and doesn't need to do anything extra.

Even the bathroom in the room was as clean as a new house, with no towels, toothbrushes, blankets, or anything else. If you didn't know that Mr. Crow lived here, anyone would think that this was just an ordinary room that no one lived in.

"Doesn't he brush his teeth and wash his face before bed?" Edward asked.

“I was already disappointed about this seven hours ago,” Cohen said. “This Mr. Raven is a puppet, a moving corpse—but there’s a lot of it, so someone must have modified it.”

“A large quantity means…” Edward frowned, realizing the problem was not simple.

“Don’t ask any more questions, I’m afraid you’ll feel ashamed.” Cohen shook his head. “That’s not something a human being should have—it’s unbelievable that neither of the Beatrice sisters noticed something was wrong…”

(End of this chapter)