Who let this Dementor into Hogwarts!

Chapter 336 All Poets Are Absent!
It's unrealistic to expect to learn dance quickly in a short time, but it's quite realistic to expect to learn to walk quickly.

At least after half an hour of hands-on instruction from Cohen, they won't suddenly find themselves on all fours while walking.

"They're ready to go to work now," the Earl remarked. "They've finally taken their first step towards becoming human."

"Great, let's try walking back and forth two more times."

Cohen instructed the three "girls" who were gritting their teeth as they learned to walk.

"Sissoko, don't move slowly—lift your foot—the more you move, the easier it is for you to fall."

[Being human is such a hassle...] Sissoko grew increasingly annoyed by the unruly legs. [It's not as convenient as being a snake—how did you get used to this body...?]

“It only took me a few minutes to learn how to be a snake,” Cohen said. “But learning to walk is about the same, and then there’s your language problem…”

Cohen glanced at the two hissing basilisks, then at the little unicorn that could only speak in a unicorn-like manner.

This is difficult...

"Wait!" Cohen suddenly remembered something, his eyes widening as he looked at Sissoko. "Say something else?"

"Huh? What?" Sissoko asked, bewildered. "Did I speak like a human being?"

“No—I remember I adjusted the audio channels—why do you still have that stubble accent—” Cohen circled Sissoko, examining him closely. “That doesn’t seem right…”

"They all sound the same hissing sound to me."

The count tilted his head and said,

“Do you want to teach them to talk? That might be a bit difficult—there are forty-eight phonetic symbols and thousands of words, and you only have twenty-four hours left.”

Teaching him the basics of English would be enough to handle the dance—saying "come" when someone comes and "go" when someone goes, nodding for "yes" and shaking his head for "no." But Cohen is rather lazy—and given the little snake's purity… I feel like even a week wouldn't be enough to teach him properly.

“It’s definitely too late to teach this.” Cohen thought for a moment. “Forget it, it’s fine if you don’t talk. The warrior’s dance partner probably doesn’t need to talk either… I’ll take you to the ball at this time tomorrow. Before that, Earl, you need to buy a few formal robes. You can’t go dancing in my old clothes.”

"It's late," the count yawned.

"Take the rest of the money and buy your Owl Viagra." Cohen tossed a bag of gold coins to the Earl.

"That's a special egg-laying spirit!" the Earl corrected. "Don't call it by such a dubious name."

“No matter how commercial the name is, it’s still Viagra,” Cohen said. “Hurry up and bring your size, or the Hogsmeade store will close.”

"I want to eat sheep!" the little snake monster said, hungry.

"Eat it cooked." Cohen stuffed the lamb leg he'd packed for dinner into the little snake monster's mouth, then suddenly remembered how fast the little snake monster used to swallow new things, and quickly reminded it, "Don't swallow it whole, it'll choke—"

"Goo-"

Unfortunately, the little snake monster already had a bone stuck in its throat.

"Spit it out! I told you not to eat so fast—" Sissoko rushed forward anxiously to help the little snake monster pull out the lamb leg.

Hisoko had used this procedure countless times, and even with a different body, it didn't stop him from rescuing this unfortunate child for the nth time. The only problem was that his movements were a bit rough, because Hisoko's first thought was to grab the little snake monster and swing it around—but firstly, he didn't have enough strength, secondly, his height didn't allow him to do that, and thirdly, now that he had hands, he could just pull it out by hand.

"How did you manage to shove such a huge club down your throat?!" Cohen stared incredulously at the little snake monster shaking its head and moving its throat. "It probably couldn't even fit it in its mouth!"

Harry's decision to bring Sissoko along was the right one. He couldn't imagine how terrified Harry would be if the little basilisk choked to death on a chicken or lamb leg while attending the ball with him.

"Then you... don't eat my textbooks!" Cohen was about to say a few words to the unicorn, but it was clear that none of the three were easy to deal with.

The unicorn discovered a large pile of food and a stack of books and parchment on Cohen's table. After determining the material of these items, she abandoned the food on her plate and the Count's previously completed assignments (the papers were written on parchment) and began to devour Cohen's textbooks.

"If you don't want meat, eat vegetables." Cohen laboriously rescued his "Standard Spells, Level Four" from the mouth of this unicorn that, despite being human, still wanted to eat grass. "See this—"

As he spoke, Cohen placed several plates of vegetarian dishes next to her.

To prevent the unicorn from feeling uncomfortable, Cohen also placed some sugar cubes nearby.

"Alright, you can rest here tonight. You can go back to your boxes if you want," Cohen sighed. "If you really don't like being human, you can just have the goat put you back in your original bodies. No trouble at all—"

"I want to dance!" the little snake monster, who had just choked on its food, exclaimed excitedly, as if it had completely forgotten the painful experience.

"Since we're already here, I have to make sure she's alright..." Sissoko sighed as well. "And to cheer you up..."

"Delicious—" The unicorn tasted the cabbage, showed off a few sugar cubes, and looked at Cohen with shining eyes, "Do you have any wine—?"

“You can’t drink alcohol when you’re a human being,” Cohen firmly refused. “Otherwise, some old man will criticize me again for leading the kids astray.”
-
Putting aside their shortcomings of not being able to speak or dance, these three dance partners are actually quite good.

Cohen felt it was better than not being able to find a dance partner or just randomly picking a classmate he didn't know.

On Christmas Day, Harry and Ron pestered Cohen from early morning, wanting to know how their dance partner was doing.

"Don't rush, don't rush, you wait in the lounge, I'll go call them."

Cohen pressed the two of them into armchairs in the lounge and left the lounge amidst their confused gazes.

Not long after, Cohen returned, followed by three girls he had never seen before.

Cohen sculpted human figures based on handsome faces, and could easily handle two young boys experiencing their first stirrings of love.

“They are…” Harry asked Cohen, mouth agape.

“Cathy and Ruby,” Cohen casually made up two names. “The two sisters should get along well.”

The little basilisk didn't care at all and plopped down on Harry's lap. It had seen Harry before in the box—but every time it tried to coil around him, Harry would dodge it.

This made Harry blush instantly, gasp, and lean back motionless in his armchair, staring blankly at the back of "Ruby's" dress.

Sissoko, on the other hand, was much more conscious of boundaries. He stood next to Ron, saying nothing and not looking at Ron—he was staring intently at the Basilisk and Harry.

Sissoko always had a strange feeling about the basilisk sitting on Harry, just like when Rolf Scamander, who had brought the basilisk into the trunk, suggested taking the basilisk to another place to raise it.

(End of this chapter)