Who let this Dementor into Hogwarts!

Chapter 339 I don't agree to this marriage!
After cleaning Hagrid's hair and trimming his overgrown beard, Cohen left with the hiccuping unicorn.

If it drinks any more, it feels like it won't be able to dance tonight. It's already so drunk that it's started making horse-like neighing noises.

“I can’t believe you were so innocent three years ago…” Cohen tied her up and took her back to the House of Requirement, and gave her a hangover cure.

This stuff was originally prepared by Cohen for Alyssa. Later, it was discovered that the hangover cure could neither sober Alyssa up (because her blood was almost turning into alcohol) nor help lower her blood alcohol concentration, so the medicine was kept in Cohen's medicine cabinet.

"Why don't you take a nap first?" Cohen said to the drowsy unicorn. "If you wake up, you can ask the Earl to call me, and I'll come pick you up—Hogwarts is easy to get lost in."

"Friendly reminder, I don't understand horses," the count yawned. "You can sleep with her—"

“That would be too dangerous,” Cohen said. “I prefer there to be no living creatures around when I’m sleeping—you can’t expect me to control that instinct once I’m asleep, especially since it doesn’t use the Patronus Charm.”

“How awful.” The count smacked his lips, his curved beak making a sound like stones colliding, and said with a hint of smugness, “At least I don’t have to sleep with you.”

“You don’t sleep with other birds either,” Cohen said sharply. “Don’t talk like you have a wife—”

“I did!” the count said angrily. “Hedwig definitely liked me for one night!”

"That kind of relationship is called 'simp,' and 'simps' never get wives," Cohen said mercilessly. "Repeatedly bringing up this relationship only proves you're a cuckold—"

“Keep swearing! You toxic, single Dementor!” the Earl retorted.

"You dare bring that up again? You old bachelor owl who hasn't even put up a bird hole in three hundred years!" Cohen retorted with equal ferocity.

"Just you wait! I'll find you a female owl today!" the count said defiantly. "My home run speed is definitely faster than yours!"

“That’ll be quick, because owls only need a few seconds to mate,” Cohen said. “I can’t chat with you anymore. Remember to wake me when it wakes up. I need to go check on the Basilisk and Sissoko. It looks like Sissoko is trying to strangle Harry…”

……

You can't leave your sister with that little pervert!

Sissoko said eagerly after finding Cohen again.

“That’s because you’re too stressed,” Cohen said while relieving himself in the restroom. “Besides, this is the men’s restroom; you’d really be considered a pervert if you were here.”

"I do not agree to this marriage!" Sissoko insisted.

"It's not even dating..." Cohen pulled up his pants. "Harry needs a dance partner, and Sophia wants to dance. It's just a mutually beneficial arrangement—do all fathers have this inexplicable possessiveness towards their daughters?"

"What are you babbling about? I can't understand you." Sissoko shook his head and said, "I want to trade with Sofia. That idiot Ron is obviously much safer."

“You’re using me as a dinner plate, and you’re changing it halfway through.” Cohen didn’t quite believe Harry could develop anything with the basilisk—then their brotherly relationship would turn into a father-in-law and son-in-law dynamic. “Harry and Ron are about the same; you’re just overreacting…”

……

The reality is often quite different from what we expect.

Cohen and Sissoko found Harry on the fifth floor, trying to lead the basilisk through the secret passages. "Hogwarts has many secret passages," Harry said enthusiastically to the basilisk. "I know quite a few, and I can show you around if you like—there's also a place called the Chamber of Secrets, but it's not easy to get up there..."

"Look at him!" Sissoko growled, pointing anxiously at Harry and the basilisk's clasped hands. "Their tails are all tangled together!"

"Hands can be used like tails, but hands are not tails..."

Cohen corrected,
"As long as they don't go all the way to a home run today, you can all go home after the dance."

“Cathy? Where have you been—I’ve been looking for you for ages…” Ron arrived, panting. “Fred said he saw you looking for something with Cohen…”

"He's following Harry." Cohen gestured towards Harry and the basilisk not far away. "Ron, you should learn from Harry; he's almost at the next stage—"

"How did he end up holding hands?!" Ron's eyes widened. "Didn't we say it was just a dance?!"

"We can't lose, Ronald!" Cohen shoved Sissoko into Ron's arms. "Look, she's angry because you don't value her—"

"When did I get angry because of this guy!" Sissoko hissed at Cohen from his throat.

“Huh? Is that so—I mean—okay…” Ron said in a panic, “Then—then shall we go…get some pumpkin juice?”

"Don't hesitate, it's up to you." Cohen pushed Sissoko and Ron away from there, so Harry wouldn't overhear his argument with Sissoko. "Don't let them get away—"

“But I can’t—” Ron whispered to Cohen.

“Experience is gained little by little,” Cohen urged.
-
All that's needed before the Christmas ball is an afternoon nap without anyone waking you up. By the time Cohen wakes up from his afternoon nap, there will only be three hours left until the ball.

From the dormitory window, Harry and Ron could be seen having a snowball fight outside the castle, but when Cohen arrived at the common room, he found that Hermione had already returned.

"So early?" Cohen asked.

“I need to get my ball gown ready,” Hermione said. “And Ron’s been talking really badly lately.”

“Everyone knows why.” Cohen raised his eyebrows. “I’m going to check on Hagrid later.”

"What's wrong with Hagrid?" Hermione asked curiously.

“I advised him to ask Ms. Maxim to dance with him that evening,” Cohen said. “You know, there are probably only these two half-giants left in the world.”

“Indeed…” Hermione said worriedly, “but before I came back I saw Hagrid pacing around in the vegetable garden—is he still too afraid to ask him?”

“Even if he doesn’t dance, he should at least take a walk or something—oh, right—there’s something else I need to remind him of.” Cohen suddenly remembered something, quickly said goodbye to Hermione, and hurried downstairs.

He had to remind Hagrid not to discuss giant blood with Madam Maxime in public—giant blood was hardly a good reputation, especially for a French school principal.

Moreover, there's a reporter who seems to have suddenly become unafraid of Cohen, who's lurking around gathering bombshell news.

(End of this chapter)