Who let this Dementor into Hogwarts!

Chapter 571 A Cohen Man Through and Through

“You can tell me.”

Edward was forced to lie flat on the bed and looked at Cohen as he spoke.

“No, that would be too much trouble and wouldn’t be effective,” Cohen said.

"I'm your father, so it's not okay?"

"Even if you're my son, it's still not okay—ouch!"

After Cohen finished speaking, Edward flicked his forehead.

“Who’s whose son…” Edward finished knocking and rubbed the part of Cohen’s head that had been hit. “—You really won’t tell me?”

"Stop asking. Didn't you do things behind your dad's back when you were a kid?" Cohen said.

“What could I possibly be hiding from him?” Edward said. “You don’t need to be so wary of me. If it’s something about my position as Minister of Magic that bothers you, I can resign right away—you know I’m a Korn man through and through.”

“What do you mean by ‘a complete Cohen man’?” Cohen laughed, his voice strained. “It makes me sound like some kind of mafia boss who secretly controls the government.”

"You're not 'gangster' enough?" Edward chuckled. "You haven't committed many crimes—how about I count them for you: keeping illegal animals, bombing the Ministry of Magic, using magic off-campus, illegal border crossing..."

“Then issue a warrant for my arrest,” Cohen said. “Set a bounty of two hundred thousand Galleons, saying that a notorious Dementor brat is roaming Hogwarts…”

“But I say you didn’t do anything wrong, and you didn’t do anything wrong.” Edward said lazily, resting his head on his arms. “No wonder those people get so arrogant after becoming ministers; this position really does make people arrogant—”

“I haven’t seen you get arrogant.” Cohen raised his eyebrows.

“That’s because I never had any ambition to begin with, so even if I did get a little bigger—it’s my belly that’s gotten bigger, and your mom nags about it all the time.” Edward patted his already starting-out beer belly. “But you see, it’s not actually that obvious…”

"So you're eating late-night snacks with Arnold every day," Cohen snorted. "Beer and kebabs will fill your belly the longest."

"Okay, if you have a little secret you don't want to tell, go downstairs and watch TV or play games." Edward rolled over in bed, let out a long yawn, pulled the blanket up over his head, and said, "I need to catch up on my sleep... wake me up when it's time for dinner..."
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It must be said that Muggles have more entertainment options than wizards, because Muggles can play a wide variety of video games made by different companies, while wizards can only play a few old-fashioned toys that are older than their ancestors.

The thought that Muggles nineteen years from now will be able to play The Witcher 3 but not The Witcher 3 will give me a strange sense of amusement.

As dinner time approached, Edward, who had already woken up from hunger, came downstairs on his own before Cohen could even come upstairs to call him.

But he would soon regret getting up, because the conversation at dinner that evening turned to reminiscing about their school days—Martha kept drinking and giggling, chatting with Rose about Edward's time at home learning to write love letters when he was in school.

"Really?" Rose asked in surprise. "I thought I was the only one writing to him."

"No, Mom, you're drunk, you must be mistaken..." Edward quickly said, "I—"

"Really?" Martha asked, still confused, rubbing her forehead. "But Ed, you should also pass on your experience to Cohen so he can find a girl as good as Rose."

“Yes, yes,” Cohen nodded in agreement. “Give me some sample love letters, I want to learn from them…”

“I will absolutely not show you anything I wrote before,” Edward said as if guarding some kind of treasure.

“But don’t be like your father, hesitant to send a single letter for ages, only to have it drag on until I have to invite him to a date at Hogsmeade,” Rose teased Cohen. “That just shows I’m cautious when it comes to you,” Edward retorted. “What if I write something bad and you dislike it…”

“Normal couples don’t break up over a terrible love letter.” Rose raised her eyebrows. “Besides, I’d love even if you wrote something like a child’s essay—you have no idea how adorable you were back then…”

"Cute?" Edward said, somewhat disappointed. "I thought you thought I was handsome—"

“And how handsome,” Rose added reassuringly, “if you weren’t wearing that fancy dress robe of yours.”

“I was fooled by Arnold. He kept saying I looked like Dorian Jones in that robe.”

"Who is Dorian Jones?" Cohen asked curiously.

“Back then, there was a wizard band lead singer who was popular with many young girls because of his flowing hair and captivating voice,” Rose said. “Your father was somewhat like him, but he was always very shy, so the combination with that fancy robe looked a bit awkward.”

"Has Cohen found a girl he likes at school?" Martha patted Cohen's head. "Have you written any love letters to her?"

“Yes,” Cohen said. “I can recite another one— ‘When I first saw you, you attracted me like a fairy in a lake, and I felt as if my whole world consisted only of you,’ and ‘I love you as dew loves flowers, as waves chase the breeze, as the tide rushes toward the moon’…”

Cohen recited the love letter passages like it was a memorized text, while Martha and Rose both chuckled. Only one person at the table had a sudden change in expression—

The more Edward listened to Cohen read the love letters, the more uneasy he felt; some dead memory was attacking him frantically.

Then, he remembered everything.

This isn't some love letter from Cohen; it's clearly a love letter he wrote to Rose but never managed to send!
Ever since he hid them in the Potions textbook, and then Arnold vomited them up, Edward barely remembered them—he didn't even know where the textbook had gone by the time he was in seventh grade.

"Cough cough!"

Edward quickly cleared his throat, reminding Cohen to stop reading.

"What's wrong with Ed?" Martha asked, puzzled.

“My throat is a little sore, I might have caught a cold,” Edward said.

"I'll go get you some potions—luckily I brought back a lot of potions when I went to St. Mungo's last time, I've almost forgotten all my potion recipes." Rose got up and went upstairs, where all the potions in the house were stored in the cupboard.

Edward then took the opportunity to pull Cohen into the kitchen.

Dobby was preparing dessert when he saw Edward and Cohen come in and excitedly shouted, "Dessert is ready!"

“Thanks, Dobby, but I need you to leave for a bit—I have something to discuss with Cohen.” Edward dismissed Dobby, and with a snap, Dobby disappeared into the kitchen.

Then, Edward turned and looked at Cohen with a shocked expression.

"What you read before..."

“Your love letter,” Cohen said naively. “I actually think it’s alright; Arnold’s assessment was a bit too harsh…”

(End of this chapter)