Super Hero Monk: Hormones Journey to the West

Chapter 99: Master and Disciple Fight
Tang Xuanci frowned and said:

"What do you mean I don't want to go?

"Why are we going to the Western Paradise? Is it just to transport those crappy scriptures from the West to the East? Then why not just help Tathagata to get them courier?
"The core goal of our project is to generate publicity, understand?
"As a teacher, I must spread the Dharma along the way and show the great and glorious image of our community to the people!
"Yumen City is such an important place. If I don't promote it, it will damage the great cause of obtaining the scriptures. I will be in breach of contract!"

The monkey was confused and said impatiently:
"I do not care.

"Anyway, Guanyin Bodhisattva only told me to get to the Zen temple before the twelfth lunar month. If I'm late, she'll look down on me.

"What if you deny the benefits you promised me?
"Okay, I don't think there are any demon palaces or fairy caves nearby, so why not just walk faster."

As it spoke, it turned the two porters back into monkey hair and put it away, then pulled out another one, blew a breath of fairy air and turned into a wide-mouthed lion-hound beast - it opened its mouth and swallowed all the luggage into its stomach.

It turns out that according to Tang Xuanci's indirect inference and observation, there are a total of 84,000 feathers on the monkey's body that can change.

But~
Among them, 90% are low-quality monkey hair, and the porters and little monkeys transformed into them have only a few thousand pounds of strength.

Of the remaining, 90% is medium-quality monkey hair;
Of the remaining hair, 90% is top-grade monkey hair;

Finally, there are nine strands of top-quality monkey hair.

Their energy progresses in grades. Looking at the huge size of the lion-hound beast in front of him, Tang Xuanci felt that it must have been transformed from a medium to upper-grade monkey hair.

He looked surprised and doubtful, but then he heard the monkey say:

"Hop on and lie down. You're naturally strong, and your injuries are almost healed. If you run a little faster, you should be fine."

"I'll send you to the Zen temple, where you'll be well protected, and then I'll come back to play around.

"Hehehehe, if you want something, I'll bring it back for you."

Take your mother's head!
Tang Xuanci absolutely could not tolerate completing a two-month journey in two and a half days.

His face immediately darkened, and he frowned and said:

"Who is the master between us?
"I told you, I'm going to Yumen Pass to spread Buddhism first, and I'll take you out for some fun while I'm at it. Don't you understand?

"Put the lion away for me. I have feet and I like to walk!"

Oh?
The monkey was stunned, as if he had not expected that the monk, who had been deeply shocked by his extraordinary abilities in recent days, would suddenly change his face and dare to speak to him in such a tone.

After taking another look at the pus-filled master in front of him who only knew how to train his muscles, he smiled playfully again and said jokingly:

"I, Old Sun, call you Master, and you're really acting so arrogantly? If it weren't for Guanyin Bodhisattva asking me to protect you, how could an ant like you be worthy of being in the company of a Monkey King?"

Haha... Tang Xuanci sneered in his heart, knowing that he might have been speaking too nicely recently in order to trick and win over the monkey, so this dead monkey was a little arrogant.

Now we must let it know who is in charge of this journey to the West and distinguish between the big and small kings!
After all, whether it's a PUA man, a woman, or a dog, the key technical points are nothing more than pushing and pulling.

Blindly caring for a dog will only make it bite people while protecting its food.

First feed it a meal of dragon fruit (mouth full of blood, like eating dragon fruit) + heart-warming dumplings (heart-warming dumplings) + blueberries (lack of oxygen causes the tongue to turn blue, like eating blueberries), and then reward it with a piece of meat and bone, and it will become your most loyal partner.

"Avalokitesvara Bodhisattva, Avalokitesvara Bodhisattva, is she your mother? Are you a mama's boy? Why do you listen to her so much?"

Tang Xuanci scolded mercilessly:

"He was brutally beaten, pinned down at the foot of a mountain and tortured for five hundred years, without even being able to fart. Yet, he still has the nerve to say he wants to convert to Buddhism. He has no shame at all.

"If I didn't need a security guard, you would still be holding me down at the foot of the mountain, and you're still the Monkey King?

"I tell you, if you listen to my teachings, I'll let you call me Master. If you don't listen to my teachings, I'll bury you in the ground!"

The smile froze on Monkey's face, and anger blazed in his blood-red eyes.

Of all the weapons in the world, only the past hurts the most!

There are endless evil words in the world, but only the truth is the most hurtful!

Tang Xuanci's words were both insulting and even more hurtful, especially for a monkey like Monkey who valued face as his life, it was a soul-crushing blow.

Murderous aura gushed out of the monkey's body, and the wind and snow around it danced wildly and howled, the sound like the wailing of thousands of ghosts.

Step by step like a claw, the monkey walked up to Tang Xuanci, looked up at him closely, and said word by word:

"If you have the guts, say it again?"

Tang Xuanci looked into the eyes that were a million times more terrifying than a demon's, calmly took the last puff of his cigarette, and said with a smile:
"Haha, it hit a sore spot, didn't it?

"Did I say something wrong?

"Do you dare to seek revenge on Tathagata? Do you dare to disobey Guanyin? Do you dare... to kill me!?" As soon as the words fell.

Tang Xuanci only felt a flash before his eyes, and the whole person was pressed headfirst into the snow.

With a "bang", the skull, which had not yet fully recovered, hit the rock and cracked again.

However, he did not miscalculate. The monkey still controlled its strength and did not dare to kill him.

To be precise, they did not die together.

He calculated that it was hard to say whether a man who had lived in a state worse than death at the foot of the mountain for five hundred years was afraid of death, but he would definitely not commit suicide.

The monkey controlled his strength and could not vent his anger. His lungs were about to explode, so he took out his stick and started beating around, causing the mountains to collapse and the earth to crack.

In fact, even it can't tell why it is angry.

Is it Tang Xuanci, Tathagata Jade Emperor, or myself?
After venting its impotent rage, it pulled out the dazed Tang Xuanci, carried him directly onto the lion's back, and prepared to kidnap him.

However, at this moment, Tang Xuanci forced a smile at it with difficulty and began to recite with his lips.

The tight hoop took effect instantly!
"Aa ...

The monkey and the lion roared in fear and anger at the same time.

With a bang, the lion turned into monkey hair, swirling in the wind.

The monkey held his head and staggered back a few steps, staring at Tang Xuanci with gritted teeth, raised his right hand with difficulty, and burst out a true palm thunder.

"Boom~"

A dazzling, bright red arc of electricity struck Tang Xuanci's body. Unlike ordinary lightning, it did not follow the path of least resistance to the ground. Instead, it instantly spread throughout his body, enveloping every cell in intense torture.

Tang Xuanci's skin turned red and emitted a burning smell. His nervous system was in severe pain and paralysis, and his internal organs seemed to be twisted.

But to be honest, although this lightning attack caused substantial damage, if we only talk about the degree of pain, it was nothing compared to when Guanyin activated the seal in his body.

Although Tang Xuanci's mouth was numb, he was still silently reciting the spell to tighten the hoop in his heart, four times every ten seconds, for revenge!

The monkey screamed in pain and increased the power.

Finally, Tang Xuanci's consciousness began to fade and he fell into a baby-like sleep again.

The monkey felt the tight hoop stop, retracted the divine thunder, and collapsed in the snow, gasping for breath.

After a long while, he stood up with a ferocious look on his face, picked up the half-dead Tang Xuanci, and cursed:

"You stinky monk! You think you can fight me? Wait until I tie you up and take you to the West Heaven, take off the tight bands, and then I'll tear you into pieces and turn you into dust!"

After cursing, he blew up a gust of wind and blew towards the northwest slope of the ridge.

However, before he had walked a hundred meters, he suddenly felt a pain on his head and the tight headband had flared up again.

It immediately fell into the snow and thought that Tang Xuanci was pretending to be dead, so it immediately pointed at the Fengchi acupoint, trying to make him faint completely.

But the pain of the tight hoop became more and more intense, which made it feel fearful. It dared not touch Tang Xuanci anymore, fearing that the mortal monk would not be able to withstand the continuous blows and really die.

In a moment, the monkey fell beside Tang Xuanci again and fainted.

After an unknown amount of time, Tang Xuanci seemed to have woken up earlier than last time.

Feeling that his internal organs and nerves were severely damaged, he was not surprised but happy:
"That stupid monkey, he actually knows 100,000 volts. The effect seems to be better than the electric shock gym in the military district of the mother planet. Damn, he's born to be a fitness coach!"

The corners of his paralyzed mouth twitched slightly, and a smile appeared on his face, weak but arrogant.

When his limbs regained strength, he struggled to stand up, grabbed the monkey's tail, stepped on the broken jade, and climbed up the ridge again.

After taking a look at Yumen Pass in the wind and snow, he staggered down the slope on the other side.

Less than a hundred meters away, the monkey on his back woke up again, kicked him to the ground in the snow, and gnashed his teeth in hatred.

Tang Xuanci laughed slightly and squeezed out a hoarse voice:
"You stupid monkey, aren't you so arrogant? Let's see, will you take me to U-Tsang first, or will I drag you into Yumen Pass first?"

After saying that, he recited the spell to tighten the hoop again!
"But ahhhhhhhhh~"

Following a roar of pain and anger, a bright electric arc erupted again, illuminating the vast snowy field with a flashing red light.

(End of this chapter)