North American riot police: Start by arresting P. Diddy!

Chapter 229 Foolish Thieves, Sharing Robbery.
"I love Madonna, especially her album 'Like A Virgin,' Fuckmew, it's the most dazzling jewel in the crown of pop music."

"What about the Beatles?"

"Fuck the Beatles! A bunch of English thugs!"

"OK, since you're smearing my idol here, then I can only retaliate in kind: Madonna is a bitch!"

"Hey? You've gone too far, buddy."

"No, no, no, let me tell you what 'Like A Virgin' really means."

In front of the bank.

In an old pickup truck so dilapidated that even a junkyard wouldn't take it.

Two men, one fat and one thin, were arguing heatedly in the front row.

The skinny guy was spitting as he said, "Like A Virgin is about a girl finding a white guy with a black dick, and the whole song is about black dicks."

"Fuck you, that's not how it is at all," the bald, fat man immediately retorted. "It's clearly a story about a sensitive woman and a sensitive man falling in love."

"No~No~No~This is all nonsense to fool young people."

The skinny man said earnestly, "Let me tell you the real meaning of this album title. It tells the story of a sex machine, a mere shell of its former self. One seemingly ordinary midnight, she met a customer with a very prominent nose. She thought it would be an unremarkable night, but..."

He shrugged: "When the train entered the tunnel, she experienced a long-lost feeling—pain! She was even injured. This pain was just like the first time. This pain reminded her of how she felt when she was a virgin, so she gave this feeling a name."

"Like a virgin?"

"Wow, she looks like a virgin."

"OK"

The fat man nodded thoughtfully, then asked, puzzled, "So Madonna is loose?"

“Of course, look at all the boyfriends she’s had.” The skinny guy said matter-of-factly, “This bitch is just an upgraded version of Kim Kardashian. I even suspect she’s hiding a Jules Verne down there.”

"Verne, what was he doing under Madonna?"

"Why not write 'Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea'?"

"."

After the skinny man finished speaking, he raised his hand and glanced at his watch.

"Okay, it's time."

The two extended their palms in perfect unison, pressed them together, and then slapped them down hard.

"Today is the day we make it into the top 100 of the international list of most notorious thieves!"

"After I pull off this job, I'm retiring and traveling the world!"

"Fuck you! It's bad luck to say things like that now!"

After exchanging banter and jokes, the two slung their bags over their shoulders, grabbed their shotguns, jumped out of the car, and swaggered into the bank lobby.

"Ladies and gentlemen, it's time for the robbery!"

"Everyone get down! Anyone who dares to call the police..."

Bang bang bang——!
A deafening gunshot suddenly rang out.

The two were immediately dumbfounded.

Because it wasn't them who fired the shots, but three fully armed masked robbers across the hall!
They wore masks, bulletproof vests, pistols on their hips, and MP5 submachine guns in their hands.

"What the hell? Robbing a bank and then going against the grain?"

Not only the two of them, but the three hostage-takers who had already taken control of the hostages were also completely bewildered.

They only closed the door a few seconds late, so how did two colleagues suddenly appear?
Moreover, he was an amateur wearing a vest and shorts, without even basic disguise, and carrying two broken shotguns!
The two groups stood facing each other on either side of the hall, their swords drawn.

The hostages crouching on the ground quickly realized the strange situation.

"It looks like a professional team ran into a bunch of naive newbies?"

Harold lowered his voice and whispered in Rorschach's ear.

Luo Xia pressed down the bun that was blocking his way with great interest, carefully examined the two groups of robbers, and said with a playful smile, "They don't seem like novices. Look at the two later, their gun-holding posture and the way they instinctively looked for cover, they're probably veterans too."

Harold glanced at him a few more times after hearing this.

Indeed, as Luo Xia said, although the two men acted recklessly, they exuded a relaxed air that was typical of seasoned veterans.

But none of that matters. What really puzzled him was why Luo Xia was just like them, squatting on the ground and pretending to be a coward.
Rorschach smiled knowingly at Harold's puzzled look.

"This is the first time I've ever been robbed at a bank. Let me take a look and see what kind of people they are."

"."

Just then, the girl with the bun hairstyle, whose head was being pressed down by Rorschach, suddenly pushed his hand away.

The young woman in the bank uniform turned around angrily.

What kind of time is this to be taking advantage of others?!
However, when she saw Rorschach clearly, despite wearing sunglasses, his features were well-defined, with a high nose bridge and a sharp jawline, the curse she was about to utter stuck in her throat.

"Don't touch me!"

Rorschach, who was talking quietly with Harold, glanced at her upon hearing this.

Huh.
Why does this woman look so familiar?

Luo Xia raised an eyebrow and teased, "Sorry, it's the first time I've seen such a beautiful lady like you, I couldn't help myself."

"cut"

The woman rolled her eyes and turned her head away.

But Rorschach suddenly became interested; he was certain he had seen that face somewhere before.

He simply ignored Harold, leaned close to the woman's ear, and whispered, "Don't worry, hostages rarely get injured or killed in bank robberies. This money is insured; you just need to do as they say and hand over the money. If nothing unexpected happens, it should be over in ten minutes."

The woman looked at Luo Xia suspiciously: "You've done this before?"

“No, that’s not it,” Rorschach winked at her. “I used to be a policeman.”

Just as he was about to continue trying to extract information, the two groups of robbers in the hall had already started fighting!

"Bang~ bang~ bang~ bang—!"

“Bang bang bang bang bang—!”

Shotguns and submachine guns spat fire, bullets scattering fragments on the marble floor.

Ultimately, in mid-range firefights, no matter how powerful a shotgun is, it can't beat a submachine gun with a faster rate of fire.

The two robbers, one fat and one thin, were quickly overwhelmed and forced to retreat, hiding behind a marble pillar.

However, these days, anyone who dares to rob a bank is either a madman with water in his brain or a truly capable desperado.

Rorschach wasn't sure which category these two belonged to, but their methods were certainly ruthless.

The skinny man bit off the grenade's pin with his teeth, silently counted a few seconds, and then suddenly threw the grenade away!

Rorschach had already predicted the trajectory of the explosion while the grenade was still in mid-air.

He calmly shielded Harold behind him, while simultaneously pushing the bank's wooden teller counter in front of him as cover. After doing all this, he looked at the still-dazed woman with the bun hairstyle and pulled her behind him.

"boom--!"

The fragmentation grenade exploded in the center of the bank lobby.

Countless metal fragments scattered and flew in all directions like raindrops.

However, since both groups of robbers were hiding behind cover, the robbers were unharmed, while innocent civilians squatting on the ground were injured by the flying debris.

Although none of the wounds were fatal, they still triggered a chorus of groans and screams.

Taking advantage of the chaos, the fat and thin bandits rushed out with strange cries, raining bullets down on the stone pillar where the masked bandits were hiding.

"Fuck squid! Fuck squid! Fuck squid!!!"

Bullets shattered the marble pillars, sending shards of stone flying. Rorschach, who had been unharmed thanks to hiding behind the heavy counter, glanced around at the hostages on the ground, most of whom were only slightly injured. He then looked at the two groups engaged in a fierce firefight, and after a moment of contemplation, his gaze fell on the loudspeaker behind the counter.

On the other side, the masked bandits hiding behind the pillars exchanged glances.

"Didn't I tell you to lock the door? How come you let two lunatics in?!"

"I was controlling the hostages, how could I have had time to close the door?"

"Fuck you, there's no point in saying all this now, let's take care of these two lunatics first!"

"Murder? We're just here to rob, murder isn't our line of work!"

"."

The two groups were locked in a stalemate, and the entire hall was deathly silent except for the sounds of gunfire and groans.

But soon, a piercing electrical noise broke the silence.

"Hello? Can you hear me? Hello?"

Rorschach's voice echoed through the lobby via the bank's public address system, immediately drawing everyone's attention.

Amid the questioning gazes of the two groups of robbers, Luo Xia first raised his hands to indicate that he was unarmed, then said in a conciliatory tone, "I know the situation is tense right now, but innocent people have already been injured. How about this, since we're all here to rob a bank, and this place is so big, let's each rob our own, there's no need to fight to the death."

Then, he turned to the two thugs, one fat and one thin, who had shown their faces, and asked, "Buddy, where is your target? Cash at the counter? Or the underground vault?"

“An ATM.” The skinny guy replied casually.

"What?" Rorschach was stunned by the answer—did robbing an ATM really require such a big fuss?
"What we're going to rob are the ATMs! Today is Monday, and the bank will deposit $50,000 into each machine. With four machines here, that'll be $200,000! Hahaha!"

The fat man raised his voice to explain, and the two looked around smugly, as if they were really doing a world-shaking deal.

Luo Xia was silent for a moment, then nodded and turned to look at the three masked professional robbers: "And what about you?"

The three masked men looked at each other in confusion. Finally, the robber with a thick African accent spoke up: "The vault. We're after the vault."

Thank you!

Luo Xia spread his arms and made a gesture of reconciliation to the two groups: "Isn't the situation clear now? Although you're both here to rob, your businesses don't conflict at all. You can just have a shared robbery instead of continuing the shootout."

"Shared robbery?" The skinny man scratched his head, looking confused.

“That’s right, you’re in charge of the ATMs, and they’re in charge of the vault. Everyone gets what they need,” Rorschach explained patiently.

The fat and thin robbers exchanged glances and shrugged in unison: "We have no objection. We're not interested in the vault anyway, and there's too much money to carry."

All eyes turned to the masked robbers hiding behind the pillars, with only half of their bodies visible.

After a brief silence, the man with the black accent broke the deadlock first: "Fine, but you're not allowed near the vault, otherwise..."

"Don't worry, don't worry, the vault is all yours. We absolutely won't touch it."

Seeing that the other party had relented, the fat and thin robbers immediately seized the opportunity, even putting on fawning smiles, showing no trace of their former ruthlessness.

Seeing that the two men had lowered their guns, the three masked robbers also cautiously stepped out of their cover.

The fierce battle finally ended, and Luo Xia clapped his hands in satisfaction.

But the next second, the two groups of robbers who had just made peace suddenly turned their guns on him.

"But I have another question."

The leader of the black robbers asked in a deep voice, "Who the f*ck are you?!"

“Yes, yes, we brothers want to know too!” The fat and thin robbers also brandished shotguns and pressed Luo Xia for answers.

Facing the five dark gun barrels, Rorschach shrugged and smiled calmly, "Logan Goodman, I am an FBI agent."

A few minutes later.

In a corner of the hall, dozens of citizens and bank employees were forced into a huddle at gunpoint by the robbers.

Luo Xia, who had been chatting and laughing with the robbers, now had his hands bound with more than a dozen ropes and had been thoroughly searched, becoming the only hostage in the entire place who was completely tied up.

Harold rolled his eyes at his miserable state.

On the other side, the two groups of robbers were assigning tasks ahead.

"I don't care who you are, just cooperate obediently, and I guarantee no one will get hurt when we leave. So..."

As the masked bandit leader spoke, he suddenly noticed the hostages, most of whom were injured by the grenade explosion. He paused, then sighed and said, "Just don't get in our way."

After saying that, he turned and left with his two accomplices.

The fat and thin robbers, who had been watching eagerly from the sidelines, approached with a grin.

"Let me introduce myself, my name is Peanut Butter. This is my brother, Jelly." The skinny guy patted the fat guy on the shoulder.

Then, under the watchful eyes of the three masked robbers, the fat man lowered his voice mysteriously and said, "I have to clarify, these are not our real names, don't misunderstand."

“That’s right, we originally wanted to name it ‘Milk’ and ‘Biscuit’, but unfortunately someone else registered them first,” the skinny man added.

"."

The three masked men stood there staring at them for a few seconds before finally letting out a long sigh.

"Listen, while your act of robbing a bank without masks and announcing yourselves might seem courageous, we have absolutely no interest in either of you. So, F*ck Off!"

The three were clearly quite annoyed by the strange characters who had suddenly appeared during the operation. They walked towards the vault without looking back, completely ignoring the fat and thin men waving goodbye behind them.

After the three of them went to the vault, Jelly and Peanut Butter exchanged a glance, pursed their lips, and then took out plastic bombs from their bags.

A whole dozen or so dollars—that's how they planned to blow up the ATM to get the money.

"How do I wire this bomb? Jelly, did you buy the wrong thing? I see Japanese on it."

"That's right, I bought it in Chinatown."

The two studied the bomb for a long time but failed to figure out how to detonate it or how to install it.

Luo Xia, who had been sitting in the corner, couldn't stand it any longer. He was about to get up and give them some pointers when the female employee with the bun grabbed his sleeve, her eyes full of dissuasion.

Luo Xia gently patted the back of her hand and gave her a reassuring look.

"If you trust me, you can let me give it a try."

"You?" Fatty Jelly looked Rorschach up and down, puzzled. "Aren't you an FBI agent? You know about explosives too?"

"I know a little bit, just a little bit." Luo Xia pinched a small gap between two fingers, making a gesture that said, "I only know this much."

The two brothers looked at each other, and for some reason, they pushed the bomb right in front of Rorschach.

When Luo Xia got closer, he was stunned when he saw the Japanese writing on the pieces of explosives on the ground.

Good heavens, this explosive was actually produced during World War II!
It's quite remarkable that these two were able to buy such an antique.

Rorschach skillfully manipulated the explosives and quickly installed the bomb on the ATM.

Just as he was about to detonate it, Fatty Jelly suddenly slapped his forehead: "That's right! Our gun is still in the ATM!"

He then rushed toward the ATM.

Rorschach didn't have time to stop it—

"boom!!!"

Amidst the deafening explosion, the entire bank lobby shook violently, the chandeliers on the ceiling swayed wildly, and dust fell in abundance.

Luo Xia quickly hid behind a pillar and only dared to peek out after the aftershocks of the explosion had passed.

To his shock, the fat jelly that had been blown away got up from the ground as if nothing had happened, and even hopped around, brushing the dust off its body.

"What the hell"

Rorschach muttered to himself.

He realized that almost every duo was incredibly resilient and had exceptionally good luck.

(End of this chapter)