North American riot police: Start by arresting P. Diddy!

Chapter 230 International Thieves Ranking

Three minutes ago.

Bank underground vault.

The three masked thugs had already removed their masks and were busy in front of the vault door.

Unlike when they wear masks, giving off a mechanical, copy-and-paste impression, their real faces are easily recognizable.

The eldest brother was a tall, burly Black man; the second brother was a bald, big-nosed Jewish man; and the last, third brother was blond and blue-eyed, and looked like a white thug.

"First, burn through the steel plate, then use a microcomputer to control the electronic tentacles to open the internal timed lock," the third brother said.

"Won't this trigger an alarm? We don't have much time left." The leader frowned.

"Of course not. The bank's security system has been upgraded today. No matter how big we make a scene, we won't attract the police."

"OK, let's do it this way."

But there is a problem now.

The third brother suddenly looked at the eldest and second eldest brothers and said seriously, "You should know very well what is most needed to do this."

"Attract attention?"

"A quiet environment?"

Both of them answered.

The third brother nodded, then suddenly exploded in fury: "You're all right! So now tell me! How the hell am I supposed to concentrate?! Huh?!"

The white thug suddenly pointed outside:

"Right now, there are two idiots robbing an ATM without even covering their faces! And dozens of injured ordinary people are groaning in pain! What's even more outrageous is that there's an FBI agent on the scene instructing us on how to rob a bank!"

"Is this a bank robbery or a social gathering?!"

"How can you expect me to concentrate?! Huh?! Say something!"

The Black leader and the Jewish second-in-command looked at each other in bewilderment.

Indeed, even with their extensive experience in robbery, this was the first time they had encountered such an outrageous situation.

"Sigh, things in New York are just too complicated! If we had known it would turn out like this, we should have continued robbing those small towns in the South," the leader sighed.

"Fuck! You have no right to say that!" the Jewish second-in-command yelled at the Black leader. "It was you who insisted on moving to New York! If it weren't for you, we wouldn't be in this mess!"

What can I do?

The Black leader retorted angrily, "My daughter is in high school! She needs a superior educational environment! I'm not going to let my darling stay in the South and be discriminated against by a bunch of white trash every day!"

"Waterfalk?"

The second son spread his hands exaggeratedly, "You're a robber, and you're talking about giving your child a good education? You robbed a bank for your daughter's sake?"

He continued, "And you have no right to say anything about being discriminated against. I'm the one who's most discriminated against in the team!"

The black man sneered, "OK, I get it. You bald little Jew, you're going to use that trick again, aren't you? Hmm, you're going to bring up that bullshit suffering you Jews have endured again? Fuck you!"

These words immediately enraged the second brother, who charged at the black man in a rage, pointing at his head and shouting, "You'd better show some respect for my people! Bald Jews have contributed more to humanity than any other race!"

"Really? More than the Germans?" the third white man suddenly interjected.

"what are you saying?!"

The Jewish man immediately glared at him, veins bulging on his neck, and said, "You dare say that again!"

The short guy immediately raised his fist and was about to rush up and fight the third brother.

Seeing this, the black leader, who was still angry, immediately stepped forward and stood between the two.

"Hey, hey! Stop arguing, okay? We're a team, even though we're different races, think about all the amazing heists we've pulled off! Don't start fighting amongst yourselves on our first heist in New York and make a fool of ourselves!"

However, the second Jewish man completely ignored him and continued his hysterical roar: "I'm not one of those Jews you see on TV. They're just a bunch of capitalists who own banks. I'm a bank-robbing Jew! And I rob banks just to keep my struggling pawnshop afloat! There aren't many Jews who rob banks!"

"OK, not too many indeed!" The third white man shrugged.

"It's extremely rare!"

The second brother added through gritted teeth, "It's all because of the economic downturn and rising prices! Do you know how many recent graduates compete with ordinary people for jobs every year?! Four million! Holy crap, four million! If I don't rob a bank, I'll starve to death!"

“We should have retired from crime ten years ago.” He looked at the gang leader, his tone suddenly becoming weary.

But the gang leader casually replied, "But we hadn't encountered an economic bubble ten years ago."

He then sighed softly, put his arms around the shoulders of his second and third brothers, and said earnestly, "Listen, guys, I'll be forty in two years. In this line of work, forty is no different from eighty. Have you ever seen a professional criminal in his forties?"

The two looked at each other and shook their heads simultaneously.

The eldest continued, "To be honest, I should have quit this business a long time ago. But I have no choice; I'm short of money more than ever! Do you know what I just bought for my daughter? Braces!"

"Really? What brand is it?" the Jewish man asked reflexively.

Invisalign.

"Fake."

"Oh no~"

"I knew you would react this way."

The black gang leader rolled his eyes. "It's not the cheap stuff. A set costs nine thousand dollars!"

"Nine thousand?!" The Jewish man's eyes nearly popped out of their sockets.

The third white man exaggeratedly clutched his chest: "What a bunch of bastards! They actually call us criminals? We should become dentists!"

“That’s right, but that’s reality.” The leader shrugged. “In this shitty country, incomes are getting lower and lower, and prices are getting higher and higher! We don’t want to rob banks, but consumerism is forcing us to!”

"You're absolutely right!"

"That's right! We are just ordinary people who have been driven to a dead end!"

As expected of the leader, his tearful accusations successfully reunited the infighting group.

After this highly heated argument, the three of them regrouped and stood in front of the vault.

At this moment, they were more united than ever before.

The high-temperature spray gun in his hand was like a sharp sword piercing the capitalists, burning with the fury of the proletariat!

hum-

A few dozen seconds later, the vault door was melted through.

The third brother immediately inserted the computer-controlled robotic arm into the lock cylinder.

Absolute silence is required next.
By cracking this sophisticated timed lock, one can amass a fortune in US dollars.

"How many were inside again?"

"Twenty million in cash."

"Twenty million, hahaha, that's enough for us to retire, buddies!"

"That's right, for your daughter's braces, my pawnshop, and the third brother's... wait, third brother, why did you rob a bank?"

"Seeking thrills," the white thug, engrossed in operating the equipment, replied without looking up.

"OK, that's a very real reason."

"Shut the fuck up!" the third brother suddenly roared, glaring at them fiercely.

The black man and the Jewish man immediately fell silent, all three holding their breath and staring intently at the lock cylinder.

But in the next second——

"boom!!!"

A deafening explosion suddenly rang out!
The entire vault shook violently, and the computer in the third brother's hand crashed heavily to the ground, the screen instantly covered with static, clearly rendering it unusable.

"Sang Ao Fu—"

"Fuck—"

"A generous gift—"

The three of them flew into a rage, unleashing a torrent of profanities!

And at this time in the hall.

The Peanut Butter brothers stared blankly at the ashes of US dollars floating in the wreckage of the ATM, their expressions frozen.

"Uh"

Luo Xia shrugged awkwardly: "I only agreed to help you blow up the ATM. As for whether the money inside will be intact, I can't guarantee that."

Surprisingly, instead of getting angry, the two brothers hugged each other tightly, comforting each other like two wounded little animals.

They even took the time to comfort Rorschach:

"It's not your fault, man. You've done a great job. Nobody could have done it better than you."

"That's right, we should blame ourselves for robbing this bank today. It's all because of that damn fax."

Rorschach keenly caught the key words and raised an eyebrow.

"fax?"

He walked up behind the two men, put his arm around their shoulders, and asked softly, "You mean, someone sent you a fax to lure you into robbing this bank?"

“That’s right,” Peanut Butter pulled out a crumpled fax paper. “It simply says that the bank will be upgrading its security system during the lunch break at 11 a.m. today. Those two hours are the most vulnerable time.”

“Interesting.” Rorschach turned to look at the hostages trembling in the corner.

It seems that today's robbery was not an isolated incident, but rather something orchestrated in secret.

Moreover, this person is very likely an employee of the bank—after all, how could an outsider know the specific time of the security upgrade?
He stroked his chin, and the [Eye of Judgment] quietly activated.

really
Among these seemingly innocent hostages, several had blood-red or black mist swirling around their heads.

To his surprise, the Peanut Butter Brothers had a pure white head.

Seriously? These two guys have never killed anyone?

Luo Xia blinked at the female clerk with the bun hairstyle who was looking at him timidly.

Just as he was pondering who had sent the fax, another gunshot rang out in the lobby.

"Bang bang bang-"

The trio who were originally in the underground vault rushed out with submachine guns and opened fire on the ceiling.

The poor ceiling was really unlucky today; after dozens of bullets, another piece of plaster ceiling collapsed with a crash.

"Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you! Especially you two!"

The black gang leader, holding a submachine gun, pressed the dark muzzle directly against Peanut Butter's forehead, gritting his teeth and saying, "It's just robbing a crappy ATM, why are you making such a fuss? Do you want to die?!"

He pressed the gun barrel hard against Jam's forehead, his voice chillingly menacing: "I'm asking you a question! Why did you make such a commotion?!"

However, at this moment, both the Peanut Butter Brothers and the hostages in the hall stared at them blankly, their faces filled with shock.

The black leader was taken aback at first, then suddenly raised his hand and touched his face.

Oops!

Not wearing a mask!

"Fake!!!"

The other two also noticed this fatal mistake and immediately began cursing in a fit of rage.

They've been in the bank for almost ten minutes, and not only have they not gotten a single penny, they've even made an appearance in front of the hostages!

"Well... it might be a bit late to say this now," Peanut Butter said weakly, raising his hand, "but I'm actually face-blind."

“Yes, yes, me too,” Jelly quickly chimed in. “In my eyes, the three of you are no different from ordinary Black people, Jews, and Irish people on the street.”

"."

The three robbers in the vault fell silent.

A few seconds later, the black leader was the first to compose himself.

He took a deep breath, pointed to the crowd in the hall, and said to the second Jewish man:
"You stay here and watch them. I'm going with Lao San to fix the computer. If anyone dares to touch anything, just shoot them!"

Before leaving, he threatened the hostages fiercely with the muzzle of his gun, and then hurriedly returned to the vault with his third brother.

With the two people gone, the atmosphere in the hall immediately relaxed considerably.

Although the Jewish elder was still carrying a gun, he at least looked more benign than the black and white thugs.

The Peanut Butter Brothers immediately perked up.

After all, in this country, although Jews control a lot of resources, when they are taken individually, they are often seen as easy targets by ordinary people.

The two men glanced disdainfully at the Jewish man, then swaggered toward the wrecked ATM, wondering if there were any intact banknotes left to take.

But that contemptuous look immediately enraged the second brother.

He suddenly raised his gun and roared, "What kind of looks were those?! Fuck! Who gave you the guts to look at me like that?!"

Peanut Butter was about to retort when Jelly stopped him.

The fat man put his arm around his brother's shoulder and said in a low voice, "Don't waste your breath on him. Look at his amateurish attitude, he might drag down our international ranking."

"Watfar?" The Jewish man's ears perked up. "You even have professional rankings?!"

"Of course I am," Jelly said smugly, raising her chin. "And I'm definitely taller than all three of you!"

The Jewish second son, who was very concerned about his image, was furious upon hearing this.

soon.

At a computer in front of a bank counter.

The three of them were already huddled together.

The second brother quickly typed in the URL and opened a professional robber ranking website, determined to compete.

Data loaded rapidly on the screen, and then thousands of rankings appeared before my eyes.

Some were anonymous, while others not only used their real names but also included photos.

"See that? That's Tiber, cough, the black guy from earlier, ranked 319; that Irish thug is ranked 426; as for me..."

The second son slammed his hand on the table and pointed at the screen: "345th! Do you guys think you can get higher than me?"

"OK, OK, it seems you guys are quite capable. Now, let's investigate ours." Jelly rubbed her hands together, her face full of anticipation.

The second person quickly entered the codes for "peanut butter" and "jelly," and got the result.
"Fuck? 1642 people?"

"This is impossible!"

"Wait, wait, wait! They must have forgotten about that cross-border job we did in Europe!"

"You've committed crimes in Europe too?" the Jewish man asked suspiciously.

“Of course! We raided a dealership in Italy and got a brand-new Toyota Prius,” Peanut Butter proudly announced.

"."

The Jewish man's lips twitched: "So you went all the way to Italy, not to rob luxury stores or jewelry shops, but just to steal a tram?"

"To be precise, it's a hybrid electric vehicle."

"You might not believe it, but my brothers and I are very environmentally conscious. Do you know how much carbon emissions Mother Earth has to endure every day?"

The two men looked righteous and awe-inspiring.

The Jewish second son fell silent again.

He began to deeply regret talking to those two crazy, talkative people.

The Jewish man shook his head and was about to turn off the computer when a voice suddenly interrupted.

"Can I see who's number one? Oh, by the way, why is number three listed as female? Is the third-ranked international thief a woman?"

"Do we even need to look at who's number one? Who else could it be but Rorschach Butcher?"

The Jewish second brother said impatiently, "This guy didn't openly steal anything and shouldn't be on the list, but there are rumors in Europe that he managed to steal several nanobombs from Federation and British/French agents—the ones used to bomb the Statue of Liberty. So, he's number one on this list, and no one can challenge him. Fuck."

Even the usually arrogant Jewish second-in-command couldn't help but exclaim, "This guy is a living legend; criminals all over the world idolize him. As for the third woman... wait a minute!"

Halfway through his sentence, the second brother suddenly turned his head and met Luo Xia's innocent expression.

"What the hell?! What are you doing here?! Who the hell untied you?!"

He immediately raised his gun and aimed it at Rorschach, his finger on the trigger.

Luo Xia quickly raised his hands, looking sincere: "They untied me. I was just asking out of curiosity."

The Jewish man glared fiercely at the jelly and peanut butter, when out of the corner of his eye he suddenly noticed a bespectacled man sitting in front of a computer not far away, typing away at something with lightning speed.

"Hey! You! Fuck! What is that guy doing?! Don't you know you're hostages?! How can you hostages just wander around like this?!"

The Jewish second son pulled the bolt and was about to rush over to stop him, but Rorschach stopped him.

He quickly explained, "I'm so sorry, this is my friend. His daughter urgently needs money at the hospital, and he couldn't wait any longer, so he had to transfer the money to the hospital's account immediately."

Upon hearing this, the second son's expression softened slightly, and he stopped pursuing the matter.

He looked Luo Xia up and down, narrowing his eyes suspiciously: "Transfer money? How much?"

Rorschach smiled and said casually, "Ten billion US dollars."

"."

The Jewish man and the peanut butter brothers froze on the spot.

They stared blankly at Luo Xia for more than ten seconds, and then...
"Pfft. Hahaha, how come I didn't realize you were so funny!"

"Ten billion? You must be crazy for money! There isn't even that much money in the bank's vault!"

"I like this guy! Seriously, I admire his composure in joking around like this."

"If you had a hundred billion, I'd kneel down and lick your boots right now."

The three of them laughed so hard they were doubled over, and tears were almost streaming down their faces.

Rorschach simply shrugged at the sight.

To be precise, it should be 10.5 billion, but seeing the exaggerated reactions of these three people, he felt it was better not to provoke them any further.

At the same time, his gaze quietly shifted to the counter where the group of people were standing.

If I remember correctly, this is the work area of ​​the female clerk with the bun hairstyle from before.

Around the counter, dozens of beautifully wrapped gift boxes were displayed, each with gold lettering that read:

Happy Wedding

(End of this chapter)