I practiced as a monk alone in Japan.

Chapter 281 Unable to Let Go

Chapter 281 Unable to Let Go
"Huh? Sakura-chan, why are you back?"

When Kazama Sakura returned to her room, the girl in the same room heard the noise and got out of bed.

The girls' room was quite nice, with a spacious room containing three beds and several makeshift beds on the floor.

For Japanese girls, sleeping on the floor is perfectly normal.

Especially when there are many people, there are no restrictions on the edges, and you don't have to worry about rolling off the bed, which is a better experience.

As she watched the girl get out of bed, Kazama Sakura curiously observed her as she got into the covers.

"Why didn't you come back? There's nothing else going on."

"Hey~ really not?" The girl looked at her mischievously, and another short-haired girl next to her also sat up.

Both of them were considered to be girls in the class who had a pretty good relationship with Kazama Sakura, although they weren't close enough to share everything with each other, nor were they exactly best friends.

However, this is already quite close at this age, and the topics between girls are always so bold and direct.

"Yeah, we were just talking about it. You're still not back by now. You must be on a date."

"A date? No way. The teacher's still here."

Sakura Kazama's cheeks flushed slightly.

They say that Sakuraba-sensei is still around, but everyone knows that the so-called bedtime roll call is just a formality.

"You're still worried about that? We've already figured out how to cover for you. Do you and Tsukino-kun think you can miss such a good opportunity?"

They clearly treated this autumn outing as a different kind of trip.

However, this is quite normal; precocious puberty is by no means uncommon in this country. The level of chaos in male-female relationships far exceeds what outsiders imagine. How to put it? It seems that taking responsibility for oneself begins at a very young age.

Whether this reflects a growing societal maturity or increasing parental indifference is hard to say.

"No, we didn't discuss this at all."

Sakura Kazama quickly shrank into the blankets, as if only by doing so could she suppress her emotions and thoughts and prevent others from discovering them.

But the curiosity of gossipy girls won't be extinguished by such a cover-up.

"Tell me honestly, how far have you and Tsukino-kun gotten?"

Kissing? Hugging? Holding hands, or...?

"Oh dear, I don't know what you're talking about. We're all still students."

Kazama Sakura was too embarrassed to admit it, after all, she was certified by Tsukino Gen as a rather traditional girl.

This tradition doesn't mean the girl is old-fashioned, but rather that some traditional and beautiful qualities have been preserved.

Unlike most girls of this era who mess up their romantic relationships at a young age, they keep talking about so-called pure love or being willing to do anything for love, but in reality, it's just self-indulgence and irresponsibility.

They don't think about the consequences, and they don't take responsibility for themselves.

When you lose something, you'll only be sad for a short time, and then you'll fill the wounds with even bolder self-destruction.

They claim it's the awareness women of the new era should have, but in reality, they're just sinking deeper and deeper into the mire.

Sakura Kazama knew there were many people like that, and she never wanted to become that kind of girl. As for giving herself entirely to Gen Tsukino, that was a well-thought-out decision, made after confirming that she wouldn't regret any outcome. They were fundamentally very different.

The short-haired girl immediately laughed and said, "What era are we living in? Why are you still talking about this? My boyfriend and I went to a hotel together in our first year of high school."

"Oh? So early?"

"After all, my boyfriend is three years older than me."

"That's it"

Sakura Kazama hesitated, unsure what to say. She didn't think there was anything to brag about. While she didn't have to be shy, there was no need to act like this girl, making it sound like something to be proud of.

"So, you and Tsukino-kun aren't exactly young anymore. I know some people who were even older. It's not easy to have a chance to get out like this, without any parents watching over you, and you don't appreciate it at all."

Sakura Kazama was actually a little embarrassed to say where that boy might be now.

Thinking about it, there's really no need to say it; just thinking about it makes me feel instinctively bittersweet.

Although it was somewhat of my own doing, reason is one thing, and instinct is another.

"It's nothing, anyway. If you like it, there will be plenty of opportunities in the future, right?"

She answered, blushing.

Another girl looked over curiously, "Speaking of which, it's strange. Tsukino-kun confessed to you and that rich girl, and you two are still getting along so well. Could it be true?"

"We're all good friends in the same club, we haven't discussed this matter."

This is also true.

Of course, to be fair, this fact is actually a tacit agreement among the three people.

However, when dealing with outsiders, using a friend's words is obviously the most appropriate approach.

"A friend? Unbelievable, that young lady can actually tolerate this."

"But Sakura-chan, you need to be careful. Girls like the young lady are incredibly attractive to men. If you don't seize the opportunity..."

"It's getting late, I want to rest. Let's talk about it tomorrow."

"Eh? Okay."

"Good night."

That was a somewhat acceptable way to end the conversation.

The girl under the covers let out a long sigh of relief.

But as the night grew quiet and the even breathing of several girls could be heard around her, Kazama Sakura found herself tossing and turning.

She couldn't help but think about it.

Was Tsukino Gen already in her room at this time?

What will they do?

I will let things happen naturally, just like I told that girl.

Or should we maintain our so-called rationality until the very end, until our overflowing emotions finally break through the dam of our defenses?

she does not know.

But the thought of such a possibility makes her curl up and wrinkle her slightly sore nose.

The choices were all made by myself, but the grievances were also swallowed by myself. Just as I've always said, if someone has to sacrifice, why can't that person be me?

After all, he has done so much for himself.

After all, she could do without anything else but him.

……

"Hey, you've turned down so many gigs lately, your workload is pitifully low. Are you really planning to retire and live with that high school student?"

We drove up to the hotel.

Hoshino, who was driving, couldn't help but speak to the woman in the back who seemed to be dozing off.

Mochizuki Miki was a little confused before she could understand what the other person was saying.

She couldn't help but curl the corners of her lips and lazily looked at the other person.

"If we really intend to do this, are there any downsides?"

Hoshino answered without even thinking, "There are too many downsides. Among actresses, how many have achieved so much at such a young age? Many directors are counting on you to break into the international market. Your career has great potential; it would be such a pity to retire at this time."

"But I'm not short of money or fame. It has nothing to do with age. On the contrary, making yourself too tired will make you age faster."

Mochizuki Miki answered easily.

Hoshino, however, seemed somewhat annoyed by his son's lack of ambition.

"I didn't expect you to be so love-struck. How many men can you trust these days? Although he is good-looking and speaks quite generously and maturely, what if he doesn't want you anymore? What if he thinks you're too old? What if he even cheats you out of your money and then dumps you? By then, it will be too late for you to think about making a comeback."

Mochizuki Miki couldn't help but laugh.

“He’s not that kind of person. And I’ve already decided that if he really is, then I’m willing to bear all the consequences.”

"Is this what love-struck brain is? I'm considering sending you to the hospital to get your brain checked."

"Hahaha, to be honest, these hospitals can't cure my illness." Hoshino thought the other person was talking about being love-struck.

Little did she know that what the other person said was true, a secret she had almost never told anyone else.

Mochizuki Miki has no intention of saying anything now.

She stood up slightly and looked at the woman in front of her who was clearly unhappy.

"Okay, don't overthink it. I don't plan to retire yet, but I really can't live without him."

"Is being good-looking really that important?"

"Of course he's important, but that's not what attracts me most about him. The truth is, I really can't live without him. I know it's hard for you to understand, but Hoshino, I swear to you."

"What oath?"

"I will definitely be a happy woman."

"I'd like to wish you the same blessing."

Hoshino said helplessly.

Mochizuki Miki smiled and nodded, then opened the car door.

"Then please continue to wish me well like this. I hope you won't say to me later, 'Please, don't be so happy, okay?'"

"I think you've really lost your mind."

"Hahaha, I'm leaving now. Have a good night's sleep, goodnight."

"Even if I'm happy, I'm not as happy as you, right? Goodnight."

He returned to the hotel alone.

The room seemed somewhat empty, but she didn't feel particularly lonely.

After all, her body felt warm and cozy, filled with his scent.

It was as if he had simply taken up residence within his own body.

……

The bed could no longer be described as tidy.

The underwear left on the bedside table and the two pairs of shoes haphazardly placed under the bed seem to indicate some serious problems.

It wasn't a problem she hadn't considered.

It was just something that happened unexpectedly at this time.

how to say?

Should we value our bodies? Of course, being noble, elegant, and special seems to be something that should never be violated.

But if that's really the case, wouldn't that be a pity?
It's hard to pinpoint a suitable time. Will leaving it until much later allow things to blossom differently and create a different story? That seems like wishful thinking.

She looked up at him.

He would unexpectedly stop at this moment.

Unlike many cases she had heard of, there was no eagerness to possess everything.

On the contrary, his eyes at this moment held an indescribable tenderness.

“I’m actually very worried that you’ll regret it and won’t believe the future I promised. But there doesn’t seem to be a better way to prove it, and I don’t want to give up.”

Asagiri Rin looked at him, temporarily forgetting the burning heat on her cheeks and the shyness she should have felt at this moment.

"Am I making you think I'm fickle, or are you suddenly being timid and afraid right now?"

"Shouldn't we avoid using reverse psychology at this point? It's not appropriate."

He said so.

But Asagiri Rin pushed his hand away, not to push him off the bed.

Instead, she sat up and put her hands on his shoulders.

Face to face, but no longer at loggerheads.

She opened the door to his heart.

"Tonight could be a big deal for me, or it could be nothing. It all depends on how you want it to start and how you want it to end. If you're just going to give me the runaround, I'll give you the runaround; if you're sincere, I'll be sincere. Anyway, I won't refuse."

She stared intently at him, her deep eyes reflecting his face.

Tsukino Gen understood what she meant.

I never expected her to say something like that in the end.

how to say.

It's so special that I want to record it and listen to it for a lifetime.

Gen Tsukino said softly.

I've lied to you a lot.

"I know."

"What I'm about to tell you isn't because I want to do anything, but simply because I feel there's no better time than now."

"You said."

"I've liked you for a long time now; I'm hopelessly infatuated with you."

Asagiri Rin recalled a night that seemed to have been a long time ago.