Deity Investigation Report

Chapter 3 Just Want to Live
Han Su replied seriously: "Yes, I didn't injure my eyes when I escaped last time."

This time, I lost sight in one eye, and my mind is filled with many more memories of the inconveniences caused by my blindness.

However, this part of my life, overall, is quite similar to the standard life path I've personally experienced before. I'm still a student at Qinggang University, with the same classmates and friends; it's the life path I'm most familiar with.

On this journey of life, you and I are the ones who know each other best.

For example, I remember discussing this with you, and I also remember you analyzing it for me from a mystical perspective and giving me suggestions on how to solve the problem.

The black rose avatar replied after a moment: "Yes, from the perspective of an enthusiast of the occult, I believe that when you are repeatedly kidnapped back to the past by monsters that don't exist in reality, there must be some kind of surreal logic that allows them to always locate you."

For example, when you were kidnapped together ten years ago, you were subjected to a mysterious spell.

You may be sacrifices, or experimental subjects chosen by monsters, but that doesn't matter. What matters is that you are one in identity.

So it's no use you escaping alone.

No matter how many years have passed since you escaped, you are still one with them. The other children are still in the castle from ten years ago, and the monsters can use their mysterious power to take you back as well.

[Mysterious forces sometimes transcend the limitations of time and space.]

Therefore, I believe the only way for you to escape this nightmare is to bring all the children out—not one less.

【…】

The message she sent filled Han Su with an indescribable sense of frustration. He held his phone, sitting motionless on the empty subway for a long time.

Escaping that dark castle is not that easy.

The reason I was able to escape at first was because the castle was too dilapidated and the monsters were arrogant. If a child is bold enough, he can escape the castle by squeezing into a corner.

But now, that dark castle is constantly repairing itself, and the vulnerabilities it can exploit are becoming fewer and fewer.

Although the monsters don't have the memories of having gone back many times, the longer it drags on, the more ferocious and easily angered they become, and the lives of children seem to become less and less valuable to them.

If it weren't for that strange door, escaping would have been a pipe dream.

What's more, because of the change in the key, he has to choose a new route every time he escapes, and he also has to take those ignorant and scared children with him.

As I pondered, the black rose avatar suddenly lit up again, its tone somewhat strange: "Of course, I still maintain that you're just crazy."

[After all, I'm an amateur enthusiast of the occult, but a professional psychologist.]

In my eyes, your life didn't change and you lost an eye because of this failed attempt to save them. You were already blind in one eye ten years ago when the police found you.

This is your life.

[The evidence is the chat history I have here. You would occasionally chat with me about being kidnapped, and you also mentioned that your experience in the castle would change your life.]

But what is the truth?

[Every time you contact me, you're actually in a state of disfigurement. There's no difference between you with a broken leg, a complete you, and you with only one eye missing!]

She paused for a moment, the words flashing: "In my opinion, what better reflects your current situation is that ten years ago you escaped alone, pointing the police and rescue personnel to the wrong kidnapping location, thus wasting precious search and rescue time."

[At the time, the media claimed that you caused the deaths of more than twenty children because of a naive lie. The police department questioned you repeatedly, and the questioning from the victims' families caused you severe psychological trauma.]

Over the years, you seem normal, but your psychological problems have become increasingly severe. Until one day, you begin to have delusions, believing that you have been kidnapped back to the past once again.

[In your imagination, you want to rescue the other children, firstly to alleviate your own guilt, and secondly to have someone share this burden.]

This is also why, from a psychological perspective, I still support your decision to rescue the other children.

【…】

"Is that right?"

Han Su looked at her reply and knew what she wanted to tell him. He had no intention of refuting her, and even chuckled to himself.

Ten years ago, when I told the story of being kidnapped by a monster, no one in the police department, including all the experts and newspapers, believed me. Now that I am telling the story of being kidnapped back to the past, how can I expect anyone to believe me?
I had discussed this with her before. I didn't expect her to believe me, but as a enthusiast of the occult, she could give me some advice that did seem quite reasonable.

However, if we delve into the details, I can't argue with her.

Each time he was kidnapped and sent back in time, it was a complete upheaval for him, but to the people around him, it seemed as if he had just taken a nap.

Perhaps everything I told her was, in her eyes, just me dozing off, having a nightmare, and then talking to her in my sleep?

But what can I say?

The change is real; I can no longer see with my right eye.

Even if these are just bizarre dreams and fantasies, they have already begun to seep into and distort one's entire life.

[Perhaps you can insist that I'm crazy, and that's not contradictory.] Han Su thought, typing slowly, correcting only the one issue that mattered to him: [But I still want to tell you that I feel no guilt towards the other kidnapped children.]

We were kidnapped back then, and now that I have a chance to escape, of course I want to seize it.

Whether others can escape, or what kind of suffering the victims' families will endure, has absolutely nothing to do with me.

【…】

His words left Black Rose silent for a long while before she replied: "But you didn't seem so cold before; you were very attentive to the other children you brought out."

Han Su replied, "That's because a few children inside helped me."

They've helped me, so I'll be grateful and try to rescue them if the opportunity arises; it's my duty as a human being.

However, I don't feel guilty about wanting to live!

I will only consider saving others if I can ensure my own survival. If it really comes to that, I don't mind sacrificing someone to create an opportunity for myself and the other children who have a chance to survive.

Now, all I want to ask is, is it really only by saving all the other children that I can break free from this curse?

【…】

Black Rose replied quickly this time: [We've already discussed this issue at the beginning. From a mystical perspective, there are only two ways to break free from this curse:]

One option is to kill all the monsters.

Another approach is to investigate thoroughly how these monsters came to be, and what exactly happened in the kidnapping case, seeking clues at the source to solve the problem.

But you've already determined that these two paths are actually dead ends, haven't you?

【…】

Han Su could only nod.

Kill those bizarre monsters inside the castle, monsters that shouldn't even exist in reality?

He had tried; just now, during his escape, he had attempted to stab the pale monster in the heart.

Unfortunately, it's impossible. We can't even hurt them, let alone kill them.
As for finding out where these monsters came from and what the kidnapping case was all about, he had been investigating all along, and had even tried to find out by borrowing different life stories, but all of this only made him feel more confused and clueless.

Perhaps the only hope is to rescue those children one by one?
After all, this was the only time he had ever succeeded.

During the second kidnapping, he managed to rescue a kidnapped child.

However, things didn't go as planned. After rescuing him, the two of them escaped the castle and faced questioning from the police department.

In fact, after he was rescued, the guy completely forgot about the incident, or rather, the whole society no longer remembered that he had been kidnapped.

However, she and he became friends.

Inside the bunker, one of the kidnapped children was indeed missing, and then, there was that door that could appear anywhere.

This door has become his only hope of escaping the castle.

This time, I had hoped to rescue one more child, even just one more, so that I could at least see what useful changes might occur in the desolate castle.

Unfortunately, it's too difficult.

When he accidentally rescued Xu Ji, it seemed simple, but when he specifically wanted to rescue a certain child, no matter how well he planned or how carefully he acted, he always failed at the last minute.

If it's this difficult to rescue even one more child, how could it possibly be possible to rescue all the other children?
The helplessness and oppression in his heart were indescribable, and he couldn't discuss it with others because it was a problem that was difficult for them to understand. Han Su could only think about it silently.

But just as he was thinking this, the black rose icon flickered again:
Of course, as an amateur expert in the occult, I also need to remind you of another important issue:

That means the time intervals between your abductions and return trips are getting shorter and shorter.

[From once every six months at the beginning, then every three months, then every month, and now it's about once every two weeks...]

This might indicate that the curse placed upon you is becoming increasingly powerful.

Sooner or later, the interval will return to zero.

By then, forget about finding out the truth, forget about rescuing the other children, forget about different life choices—you won't even have what you have now anymore…

【…】

New book launch! Seeking monthly votes, investments, and collections.

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(End of this chapter)