Am I being simulated by their love affair.

Chapter 439 We Can't Fall in Love
"Are you really in a relationship?"

"I'm working hard towards a real relationship."

"Speak properly!" The girl tapped the table.

"It was a relationship that was real but not officially recognized."

"Huh?" The girl almost raised her eyebrows. "The girl who didn't come to your performance this time?"

The boy was silent for a moment, then said, "Her name is Yamami Maki."

Yosei Kurusu raised his head, stared at the ceiling and thought for a while, "Aside from your previous performances, I think I only saw her once when I went to Shinjuku Gyoen National Garden to find you."

Jun Matsue nodded. "You're busy with work, so it's normal that you haven't seen her much."

"So I became the last person to know you were dating?!"

The girl banged on the table even harder, and the boy felt his arm, which was resting on the table, tremble.

Jun Matsue sighed, "The others basically found it out on their own, and I didn't tell them."

He wasn't lying; even Natsumi Imokawa had guessed it before he mentioned it.

"So? Is this your excuse for dating behind my back?!"

"No wonder you were always on your phone at home and stayed in your room—you even said it was because I was wearing too little clothing, but you were clearly chatting with her!" The girl remembered how she had been deceived by this despicable guy.

"I'm sorry." Jun Matsue bowed his head sincerely to admit his mistake. "Back then, my senior and I were in a secret relationship. She didn't want anyone to know."

Even me?

Even if it's you.

"Is she more important than me?" Yosei Kurusu asked, enunciating each word clearly.

The boy remained silent for a moment.

"You have to give me an answer," the girl said in a warning tone.

“I won’t make this kind of choice.” Jun Matsue straightened his posture and looked into the eyes of the girl in front of him. “I never believe that a person can live a normal life on love alone.”

"speak English."

"She is no more important than you."

"Then why should you hide it from me just because she told me?"

“Because love carries more responsibility than friendship.” Jun Matsueda looked at the girl’s expressionless face. “Because I need to be responsible for her.”

When he said those words, Jun Matsuoka didn't feel like they came from his own mouth—more like a listener than a persuader at that moment, the more rational part of him was taking this opportunity to try to convince himself.

So even though he has many things he cherishes, he still has to make a choice.

"Doesn't that still mean I'm not as important as her?" Kurusu Yosei leaned forward; the dining table wasn't large, and the girl's face almost filled his field of vision.

“This is determined by our relationship.” Jun Matsueda leaned back a little, his back against the back of the chair.

"Of course I'd like to treat everyone I like the same, but that's impossible, which is why our human identity is so important—we're friends. Compared to lovers, it's a freer relationship with less responsibility, and we can tolerate not being as important to each other in certain situations..."

The girl continued to move closer to him, but the boy reached out and pressed her back.

“Songzhi, I don’t want to listen to you nagging me with all these grand principles—because I’m afraid I might actually understand them.”

"I just want to know, aren't we happy together? Don't you find me attractive?"

Kurusu Yosei stood up, placed his hands on the table, and shouted at the boy:

"Why did you choose to date someone else when I was right in front of you?!"

"I actually asked you this question before." Jun Matsueda remained seated, but did not look into the girl's eyes.

"You mean that time we went for a walk before?" Kurusu Yosei reacted quickly. "Aren't you still in a relationship that's in name only?"

The boy fell silent.

“And I’ve also made concessions!” The girl walked around the table and went straight to Jun Matsueda.

"Why do you think I'm still living here? The company has been urging me to move to their apartment for ages!"

"Do you know why I didn't go on tour after that? Touring involves going to so many places! And you can only come back once in a long while!"

"The company has been urging me to move on to the next phase of the arrangements for a while now!"

The boy turned to look at her. "I've never heard of any of this."

"Because if I told you, you would definitely try to persuade me!" Kurusu Yosei had been holding these words in for a long time. "Don't I know you?!" "You would definitely tell me that it's not worth doing this for you, and you're so good at talking, so I would definitely be persuaded to go back!"

Jun Matsueda sighed deeply. "You really didn't need to do this—"

"See? See? I knew it!" The girl immediately covered her ears. "I don't care what you're saying, you just want to persuade me to go back!"

The boy shut his mouth, and Kurusu Yosei didn't say anything either, but just covered his ears and looked at him warily. The two of them stared at each other in silence.

Finally, Jun Matsue stood up and lowered the girl's raised arm.

"Don't try to fool me!" Yosei Kurusu said stubbornly.

“I won’t be living here after the start of my senior year of high school,” he said in a calm tone.

The girl was taken aback. "Why?"

“Her family has a lot of influence and rules. They don’t like me sharing an apartment with other people, especially girls.”

“.” Kurusu Yosei stared at him blankly for a while, then turned and walked towards the door.

I'm sleeping at my friend's house tonight.

Jun Matsueda grabbed her arm. "Don't do anything foolish."

The girl shook off his hand. "My mind is a mess right now. I don't want to see pine branches for the time being!"

"I won't do anything stupid. Jam's apartment is much safer than here!"

Before leaving, Yosei Kurusu glanced back at the boy.

"I'm not as stupid as you think!"

The apartment's security door was quite heavy. The girl didn't exert much effort before closing it; the metal door swayed hoarsely twice before being casually shut by the autumn wind in the corridor.

Matsueda Jun looked at the empty entryway, sighed, put the chairs next to the dining table back in their original positions, and sat down on the sofa.

He first called his agent to inform her of his whereabouts for the evening.

"I don't have 'Berry Jam's' contact information, so I'll have to trouble you to contact her to confirm."

“No problem.” The woman’s voice was calm and steady. “I know her. She should be fine.”

The agent didn't hang up immediately. "Matsueda-kun, are you aware of Yosei's recent problems?"

"Is it about her work? I only found out about it today."

"It's good that you know." The woman breathed a sigh of relief. She had wanted to speak several times, but the girl stopped her each time.

"If you have the chance, please try to persuade Yang Shi—the company won't wait for her forever. You know what such an opportunity means for an idol."

"Ok."

After hanging up the phone, Jun Matsue did nothing. He looked up, and the glaring light caused his consciousness to drift away.

How did things turn out like this tonight?
It should have been just a farewell performance that left a little regret.

A deep sense of exhaustion made him unwilling to move. The boy closed his eyes, trying to find temporary comfort.

However, a moment later, Jun Matsue opened his eyes.

It was too quiet.

Since Yosei Kurusu moved into the apartment, he has rarely experienced a night like this, completely silent.

Jun Matsue realized once again, and more profoundly, that his relationship with his senior would ultimately change every aspect of his life.

He went into the bedroom, lay down on the bed, and stared at the dark ceiling. Outside the window, he could hear the sound of truck tires rolling over the road.

"So be it."

However, when he woke up the next morning, he received a message from his senior.

It was a voice message, and it was a bit long. When he opened it, the first thing Matsueda Jun heard was the noisy ambient sound.

"Matsueda-kun."

Yamami Maki's voice rang out after a while. The girl called out to him and remained silent for a long time before continuing.

"We cannot fall in love."

(End of this chapter)