Love in Cthulhu

Chapter 28 What a pair of star-crossed lovers!

"Are all the things you said... true?" he asked hoarsely.

Now he has no other choice but to place his hopes on unrealistic things, hoping that Gan Tang was just playing a joke on him.

But she was such a serious person that she couldn't even catch a joke. This kind of girl was born unable to lie; her way of thinking was as straight as a line.

"People lie because lies are beneficial to them. But meeting you was just an accident. I only bumped into you when I went to school to check the results that day. Deceiving you would do me no good."

You truly are a literary girl. I bet you studied science, right? This dialectical way of speaking is like those senior students in the lab who are starting to lose their hair—"because, therefore, trying to prove."

"what should I do?"

You should know the answer to this question better than I do.

Gan Tang said, “You can’t go on like this. Leave that thing you’ve come across. Think about your family, your future. You have so many things to do. I don’t know what that thing can give you, but that kind of gift is a Pandora’s box that’s naturally poisonous. Touching it will not end well. Just like… my mother.”

Zhou Nan smiled bitterly to himself. Was it that he didn't want to leave? No, it was that he couldn't leave. He and Jian Xi were always glued together. Miss Monster had inherited this style and was even more clingy than Jian Xi. Not only was she clingy, but she also used blackmail.

Suddenly I remembered a cute attribute called yandere. This is more than just yandere; it also includes forced love. He is like an innocent scholar who has fallen into the Spider Cave. The bewitching spider demon says, "I will grant you endless wealth and glory. I will become whatever woman you like, but you must stay with me in this Spider Cave for the rest of your life."

He wasn't a steadfast monk; he could be moved by a beautiful, delicate woman. But this beautiful woman was a monster at heart, and he simply couldn't accept it.

Taking a long, deep breath to compose himself, Zhou Nan looked up at Gan Tang and said, "Can I ask you a question? If you don't like it, just pretend I didn't ask."

"Go ahead and say it," Gan Tang nodded.

"About your mother... how long did it take from the moment she came into contact with that kind of thing to her final fate?"

Gan Tang paused for a second, but still spoke: "Three years."

Three years? That's much longer than I imagined. Three years is enough to cover the entire high school years. Going to university is a reasonable reason to go far away, right? My grades are much better than Jian Xi's. If I secretly adjust my application, going to a very far city shouldn't be a problem.

But will Jian Xi give up just like that?

Impossible. Even he could figure that out. Since the ability is to devour people's souls and steal everything related to the spirit, why not just find a top-tier, unlucky academic genius before the college entrance exam, swallow him whole, and use his knowledge to take the exam?
That's ridiculous. We finally got a chance, but we still can't do anything about it.

A pack of tissues was handed to him. He was stunned for a moment, not knowing when Gan Tang, who had been sitting opposite him, had moved to sit next to him.

"I didn't cry..." Zhou Nan found it somewhat amusing. He was indeed very sad, but not to the point of shedding tears in front of a strange girl.

"Oh, I'm sorry." Gan Tang put away the tissue, but didn't sit back down. She just stared at him blankly, as if she could read something from his face.

Zhou Nan was a little confused. He suddenly realized that the situation was quite ambiguous. A man and a woman alone in a room, and no one would disturb them during the three hours they paid for. They were sitting so close together that Gan Tang's strands of hair were almost up to his shoulders.

If it were an enlightened monk, he would recite "Amitabha" and "form is emptiness, emptiness is form" at this time to prove his firm resolve.

But his inner ego wouldn't allow him to do that. He might have someone he liked, but she was a literary girl whose eyes, behind her glasses, seemed to shimmer with light. Gan Tang's eyes were really big, and it was clear she wasn't wearing makeup. The glasses made her even more beautiful, and her innocent look was exactly the kind of fanservice that would take down a vain guy.

For Gan Tang's safety, Zhou Nan reached out and rubbed his handsome face.

This action finally brought Gan Tang back to her senses. She looked away, feeling somewhat embarrassed, but her naturally expressionless face was the perfect tool to hide her emotions, and outsiders couldn't tell at all.

She didn't have any romantic feelings for him; he was just the first person she could talk to who she could connect with, and she had started to see him since that incident.

However, she was not good at striking up conversations. Because of her mother, she rarely interacted with men. After she finished talking about what she wanted to say, she would fall into a state of having nothing to say. Otherwise, she wouldn't have hesitated and struggled on the lawn for so long. That was the first time she had ever taken the initiative to talk to someone.

"How about we sing a few songs?" Zhou Nan finally broke the awkward silence. "We're already here, and we've already paid for three hours."

"I can't sing..." Gan Tang paused for a moment, feeling somewhat embarrassed. She knew very little about entertainment, and her classmates said she was a rather dull and aloof person.

She didn't want to explain anything. Anyone would become like this if they had a mother who had turned into a monster and still wanted to control them.

"So, is this how we call it a day?" Zhou Nan said. "If there's anything else, we can chat on QQ. If we go out too often, we might get caught."

He felt that his words sounded like he was having an affair, even though it was a perfectly legitimate matter. But if he were caught secretly seeing a beautiful girl, who knew what Jian Xi might do?

Gan Tang nodded and added, "Don't call me out so late next time."

"No, that was an accident."

He got up, took a couple of steps to open the door, and was halfway out when he remembered something important. He leaned back and said, "Next time you wear glasses, you can try red ones. They should look better."

Of course, that's just nonsense. Actually, Gan Tang looks great as he does now, but the red-rimmed glasses are his favorite style. Even if it's just rambling, I have to say something, otherwise my restless little soul won't be able to hold back.

He left, and Gan Tang sat alone in the private room, staring blankly at the dazzling images on the big screen. After hesitating for a long time, she finally picked up the microphone.

"You are so good, my name is びたい"

This is a song that my father loved when he was still alive. It is said that my mother got together with him because he was very good at basketball. At that time, Slam Dunk was very popular in China, and everyone could hum a few lines of the songs. As the thing that brought the two of them together, both of Gantang's parents could sing it.

"Your name is びたい, and tomorrow's を変えてみよう——"

She has never been to a karaoke bar; it's something she only sees on TV. But she's not saying she can't sing.

In the empty private room, the girl's singing voice, though lacking the magnetic passion of the original singer, was like dew falling into a pond, creating clear ripples.

This is the only song she knows, and she sings it quite well, but she would never let anyone else hear it.

The sound of bones twisting echoed on Gantang's back, like the sound of waking from a deep dream.

A ferocious head emerged, followed by a segmented body and countless pairs of hands and feet, covered with numerous short, downy tentacles. The slender hands and feet spread out one after another like ribs, gently embracing Gantang as if a wild beast were about to devour its prey.

This song was like a spell, capable of forcibly waking the sleeping mother. Gan Tang felt this was because her mother still harbored something called love in her heart; perhaps she still couldn't forget her father. Gan Tang raised the microphone, and a head with messy long hair slowly leaned closer. In the chorus, another hoarse, dry voice joined in, the two completely different timbres intertwining yet strangely harmonious, like a duet woven by Beauty and the Beast in a fairy tale.

………………

Zhou Nan returned to the compound, but instead of going to Jian Xi's house, he went back to his own family's old house.

He sat on the sofa, his mental state as dazed as a meditating monk.

The truth that Gan Tang spoke of echoed in his ears again and again, and the mother's final, ghostly appearance played repeatedly before his eyes, except that his imagination automatically replaced that head with his own.

I never expected to encounter such a ridiculous train problem. Jianxi is dead, and you are very sad, but you are also very lucky because a monster girl just like Jianxi has returned. She says she will take Jianxi's place.

You're replacing Jian Xi? How could that be? I won't allow it.

But undeniably, she gave him the exact same feeling as Jian Xi. She ate the things Jian Xi liked to eat, she said the things Jian Xi would say, and even the angle at which she frowned when she was angry was exactly the same as her. When they were playing around, he would never think that she was a fake.

Ask yourself honestly, how have you been these past two days? Have you been happy?

Zhou Nan raised his head and recalled, bit by bit, everything from her resurrection to the pillow fight last night. It was as if the feeling of her original body still lingered on his fingertips and body.

If I say I'm unhappy... I'm just lying to myself.

He spent most of his life with Jian Xi. Except when he went home to sleep, he was almost always with Jian Xi when he woke up. Going to school, eating, playing, shopping, what wasn't he doing with Jian Xi? If you really wanted to calculate it, he spent more time with her than with his own family.

It had truly reached the point where I didn't know how to live without her. In the days after I learned of her disappearance, my whole world seemed colorless and empty, as if something very important was missing from my heart, and nothing could fill the void.

What can you do without her? Ask yourself.

Friends? You don't seem to have many, you could even say she's your only one. Happiness? You're not an active person; if it weren't for her, you wouldn't even want to leave the house. Studies? Isn't it all because of her that you're willing to work so hard?

But Jian Xi is already dead. No matter how much you miss her, you can only be with the monster. The monster can give you the same experience, but it will also kill you. Is it worth risking your life just to be obsessed with the past?
Of course, one must live. Only by living can one possess, only by living can one cherish memories. But that means giving up that monster, that thing that looked so much like Jian Xi. In that case, the last glimmer of hope that he could still have a connection with Jian Xi in this world would vanish.

Do you choose her, or do you choose yourself?
I ran my fingers through my hair, tangling it into a mess. My troubled thoughts lingered for a long time, from afternoon until dusk. The old wall clock ticked away, and the withered yellow light gradually sank below the horizon.

Jian Xi pushed open the door, said "I'm back," then kicked off her shoes, jumped down next to Zhou Nan, and sat down while taking off her socks.

"I'm exhausted, I'm so exhausted! Teacher Tang really doesn't show any mercy. She dragged me over and said she wanted me to be the lead dancer. You have no idea, those girls next to me were green with envy. They've probably been eyeing this position for ages, and they've been glaring at me like I'm their enemy all day. I'm not going to put up with them. Even though I don't want to be the lead dancer, I'm really interested in bullying them! You have no idea..."

She suddenly shut up, and Zhou Nan's face remained expressionless. He didn't even glance at her, as if he were lost in thought.

"Hey, did your soul fly away? What are you pretending to be, some kind of immortal cultivator?"

She poked Zhou Nan's arm, saying "poking" repeatedly. When he still didn't react, she immediately understood. "Are you in a bad mood? Then I won't bother you anymore. But don't sit here, it's so cold. Let's go to my house."

"...Go ahead, I want to stay here today."

This is where he grew up, and many of his things are left here, including Jian Xi's. When people are unhappy, they always want to escape to a familiar place, only then will they feel better.

He really didn't want to face her right now. He couldn't find a solution to that question; no matter what he did, it seemed wrong.

"Can you sit here all night? Come on, come on, let's go to my place. At least it's warmer there. I'll tell you about today's events when you feel better. Those girls were really funny."

"You're so annoying!" Zhou Nan brushed away Jian Xi's hand that was touching his face. "Can't you leave me alone for a while?"

He was about to lose his temper, but when he saw Jian Xi's face so close to his own, he instantly lost the confidence to do so.

Jian Xi awkwardly withdrew her hand. She could feel the overwhelming hostility coming from behind her. She didn't know what was going on. They were happy yesterday, but after being apart for a day, they seemed like mortal enemies.

She shifted her position, wondering if she should sit closer to him, or perhaps even nudge him and act cute, so he wouldn't be angry.

But Zhou Nan didn't make a sound. She vaguely realized something. "Is it... my fault?"

"What's your fault?"

"Don't be silly, okay? You're angry because of me. If I did anything to upset you, you can tell me, really." She rested her chin on her hands, tilting her head to look at him. "I'm your girl."

What do you mean, "your girl"? Stop kidding me! Weren't you just waiting to turn me into your possession? You're a monster, and humans are nothing more than playthings in your hands!
"It's none of your business, you're overthinking it." He almost jumped up, but the words came out in a calm tone.

She's too cunning. He can't bear to part with her little darling, he really can't bear to, and he's even more afraid of making her angry. Zhou Lan's life, his parents' lives, and perhaps the lives of countless innocent people, are all tied to him.

"Do you think I'm stupid? You've written all my anger on your face!"

Jianxi's patience finally ran out. She felt like she was coaxing a baby. "Just say what's wrong. I won't get angry. We made a promise before that we would be each other's confidants and punching bags. If you're unhappy, just come and talk to me. No matter how big the problem is, it will make you feel better to have someone listen."

These words struck a nerve with Zhou Nan. He didn't like hearing them. Jian Xi is Jian Xi, and you are you. I only confused you because you are too despicable. If you were different and didn't appear as Jian Xi, I would never give you a good look. Besides, you would drag me down and kill me.

"What do you mean by 'we made an agreement before'? It's like it's yours." So those words came out without thinking.

All the pent-up frustration in his heart over the past few days, the pain he had no one to confide in, and the terrifying truth that Gan Tang told him today, all turned into that unintentional retort. He didn't use much force, but it felt like he had slashed her hard.

Jian Xi felt a pang of sadness, as if pricked by needles. Her hand, which had been about to reach out and pat his head to say something nice, remained suspended in mid-air.

She stopped smiling. For more than ten seconds, that concerned smile froze on her face, peeling away bit by bit, dissipating little by little, until she became completely expressionless, her pupils flashing with a deep and eerie light.

"Isn't it all my fault? You've finally spoken your true feelings."

She said softly, "No wonder I've always felt something was strange. You've confessed to me, and you've liked me for so long, but you don't seem like you're in a rush to get me. You're not interested in me at all, and we're not that intimate. You even talk nonsense and bicker less often than before."

"So it wasn't my imagination after all." She seemed to be talking to herself, yet also to him. "It wasn't my imagination. In your eyes, I'm not the real Jian Xi. She and I are two different things. You distinguish between us so clearly. You were just playing around with me. You lied to me and said you liked me. You treated me like a monster, didn't you?"

(End of this chapter)