Xinyiwu: Originally

Chapter 26 Forgive me for being selfish

The good day was approaching, and Mother Su fell asleep nervously and nervously after a busy period, because the room was occupied by Cheng Zheng, and Su Yunjin lay beside her mother, but felt sober and uncomfortable, not because she recognized the bed, but because her heart was in a mess.

What was it like to attend your own mom's wedding?I am afraid that not many people have experience.People are contradictory animals, Su Yunjin is really happy for her mother, and hopes that she can live a happy new life with her stepfather.But when the night fell and the surroundings were quiet, only the sound of breathing could be heard, she couldn't restrain... melancholy, because she thought of her father.

When her father just passed away, Su Yunjin's world can only be described with one word, that is "the sky is falling".But time can make up for everything. Over the years, she has slowly accepted the fact that her father will leave forever.For her mother, the gap in her life can be filled by a brand new man, but for Su Yunjin, her once happy and poor family of three will never exist.My mother will have a brand new home, a new family, and from now on I will be left alone, so deserted, I thought I could go on with Shen Juan and rely on each other, but it is a pity that there is no fate.

She could only secretly think about these things in her heart, and she must not reveal anything that affected her mother's good mood. Because of this, when her mother was relieved to believe that she had found a boyfriend, Su Yunjin couldn't bear to expose the lie.She tossed and turned and couldn't fall asleep, fearing that her restlessness would disturb the smiling mother in her dream, she had no other choice, so she put on some clothes, tiptoed out of bed, and went to the living room to pour herself a glass of water.It wasn't until the warmth of the hot water passed through the glass to her palm that she felt that she was finally holding something real again.

At night in the small place, the lights seem to have gone to sleep with the people, and the surrounding is boundless silence.Su Yunjin sat softly on the old sofa, the impenetrable darkness made her feel that her father was still sitting beside her, staring at her with a smile.Su Yunjin yearned for the relationship between her father and mother once. Everything will change, so what is eternal in the world?There was a slight knock on the door of the small room on one side. It seemed that someone was staying up all night like her.Su Yunjin gradually got used to the dark eyes, and saw Cheng Zheng standing at the door of the room.After thinking about it, she gestured to him, and Cheng Zheng followed her to the narrow balcony at home.

Cheng Zheng's silent profile in the dark is more exciting than expected, Su Yunjin closes the balcony door and whispers, "Can't sleep?"

"Neither are you."

"What's the difference? Tomorrow, the only relative who will reorganize the family with another person is not you. Still thinking about the carton? Fool!"

When she casually teased him, there seemed to be a special kind of intimacy. Cheng Zheng's heart moved, and he dared not say it. Although the carton incident really frustrated him, he was not the kind of petty person. Just basically forgot.The real reason he couldn't sleep was because of her breath on the pillow.During the day, he fell asleep with something on his mind and didn’t feel it. After nightfall, the smell penetrated into his heart like a spirit snake, and he stretched out a bright red seductive fuse to lick and lick... This is the place where she slept. Holding her quilt, it seems that she... Thinking about it again, something will happen again.

Cheng Zheng calmed down, and pulled Su Yunjin's hair again.

"Don't blame me for being rude if you try again."

"Since when have you been polite to me?" He leaned against the hollow concrete railing and said, "I remember something. When I was very young, once, my mother teased me and she said, 'Son, wait for you When I grow up, my mother will entrust you with all the business'. I asked: "My mother gave me everything, what do I want?" My mother replied: "When you grow up, your parents will also take care of you." I'm going to leave, and I won't be able to take anything with me at that time." I burst into tears when I heard that. If that's the case, I don't want to grow up, and I don't want them to grow old and leave. My mother was very helpless, but she still said: "It doesn't matter. Will you or not, everyone will leave in the end.' When I grew up, I thought, my mother was right, the only person who will accompany you to the end will always be you, but those who have accompanied you and loved you The traces of human existence will never disappear.”

"Can I understand that you are comforting me?" Su Yunjin was indeed a little surprised, it didn't seem like what Cheng Zheng would say.Perhaps in her opinion, he has always been a fool whose IQ and EQ are not directly proportional.

Cheng Zheng smiled and said, "I just can't understand how you look like an abandoned stray dog."

"You don't understand my mood at all." After tomorrow, my mother will be the hostess of another family, and this family has nothing to do with her.Blood relationship cannot be changed, but mother no longer only belongs to her Su Yunjin, and no longer only belongs to the family they once shared.

"Yunjin, don't be so arbitrary. You are not me, how do you know that I don't understand. I don't have experienced so many things like you, but no matter what background people are, poor or rich, they have no expectation of love and being loved. any difference."

Su Yunjin didn't refute, and after a while, Cheng Zheng was very surprised to hear her say, "Show me your hand." He didn't understand her intention, but he still spread his hands openly towards her.

Su Yunjin held his hand in front of her eyes and looked at it for a while, then rubbed his thumb lightly on his palm, and sure enough, she found two bloodstains and four or five blood bubbles, all of which were wounds made by cardboard.Although he is a boy, he doesn't have any calluses on his palms, so it's no wonder it doesn't hurt.

Being touched by her warm hand, Cheng Zheng felt strange in his heart, and said maliciously, "You took advantage of me."

Su Yunjin gave him a white look, and went back to the living room by herself.When she returned to Cheng Zheng's side, she had some cotton wool soaked in tincture of iodine in her hand, and gently dabbed it on his wound.

"It's just a minor injury, why bother." Cheng Zheng disagreed.

Hearing this, Su Yunjin pressed the cotton wool on his gaping wound hard. The stimulation of iodine tincture combined with the force of the pressure made him make a soft "hissing" sound.

"Stop being a hero?" She looked up at him.

Cheng Zheng closed his hands and held her fingers together with the cotton wool, "Can't you be kind to me?"

Su Yunjin struggled, the cotton wool fell to the ground, her hand was still in his palm.

She took a breath, and suddenly said without thinking: "Cheng Zheng, I actually don't hate you, although you do.

This is... the truth in my heart. "

Cheng Zheng's hands trembled slightly, but he was not satisfied, "Just don't hate me? I thought you would like me at least a little bit."

"Is this so important to you that it's worth stacking boxes all night?"

"It's worth another hundred nights, but I want to listen to the truth."

"A boy like you liked me, and I will feel very happy when I look back on it, but I am just a very ordinary person. If you are really with me, you will find that I am not worthy of you..."

"Whether it's worth it or not is my business, you are not qualified to judge for me."

"Perhaps a little."

"Say it again, you like me too? I knew it!" Cheng Zheng's voice revealed joy.

"But I don't know how much I like it. I'm not someone who can do everything for love. What Shen Ju'an said is right. I dare not love you. You have tried your best to treat me well. I know you didn't mean to be condescending. It’s just that the ground we are stepping on is not on the same level at all. I can barely reach you by tiptoeing. I don’t want to work so hard, and I don’t want to worry about gains and losses because of a relationship. You asked that day, if you are willing to change, have we Possibly. In fact, you don’t need to change for me, you are fine, but you are not suitable for me, if you are with someone else, such as Meng Xue, such as other people, you will be happy.”

"Your truth is such a fallacy?" Cheng Zheng tried hard to digest it for a while before he let out a sarcasm smile, but found that every inch of his face was terribly stiff, "Why don't you dare to love me? If you dare to try, you are a selfish ghost."

Su Yunjin nodded calmly, "You are right, I am selfish, I love myself more, so I will not take risks and try things that are completely unsure, as long as you understand."

Su's mother's wedding was held in a simple but festive atmosphere. Many relatives and friends of both the man and woman came. In a harmonious atmosphere, no one noticed the inexplicable alienation between the young man and woman.Cheng Zheng, who made his debut as Su Yunjin's boyfriend, naturally won unanimous praise from relatives and friends who attended the banquet, especially Su Yunjin's grandmother, an old man in her 80s, who was holding his hand in a wheelchair and refused to let go.Cheng Zheng didn't want to see Su Yunjin face to face, so he was so happy that he fell on his knees. Who knew that the old man forced Su Yunjin to come over, grabbed the two of them with both hands, and said repeatedly: "Ah Jin, this young man is good."

Su Yunjin couldn't laugh or cry, her grandmother had suffered from cataracts for many years, she couldn't even see human facial features clearly, so how could she know that he was good.So she squatted beside the old man and asked half-truthfully, "Grandma, what do you think is good about him?"

The old man said happily: "Isn't he called Chen Zhen? Chen is really a good man, he helped Huo Yuanjia fight the Japanese devils..."

Su Yunjin laughed out loud, while Cheng Zheng half-opened his mouth, completely losing his ability to speak.After laughing, Grandma folded their hands together seriously, and said: "I am old, I don't know how many years I can live, if you are married, Grandma is still alive, you must come and tell me personally .”

Cheng Zheng looked at Su Yunjin and said nothing, Su Yunjin patted the back of the old man's hand with the other hand, and coaxed him to promise, "Grandma, you will live a long life, don't worry, we will." Watching the old man smile contentedly , Su Yunjin said silently in her heart: "I'm sorry, grandma, maybe this day will never happen."

The day after the wedding, Cheng Zheng returned to his home in the provincial capital, and soon Su Yunjin also returned to school.Mother naturally moved to the man's house, and Su Yunjin lived with her for a few days at her mother's request.Compared with their old house, the environment of his house is of course not the same. The uncle takes good care of Su Yunjin, and the younger sister he brought is also very well-behaved, and she always calls Su Yunjin "sister".Mom should live well in the future, Su Yunjin feels relieved a lot, but she has not forgotten her identity as a "guest", that is not her home, no matter how attentive the man's care is, there is a hint of caution, since she is a guest, Shouldn't have stayed long.

After the junior year, the little girl Su Yunjin mentored entered junior high school, and she completed her mission.Both her mother and uncle disagreed with her continuing to apply for student loans, and insisted on paying her tuition and living expenses. Su Yunjin's polite refusal brought her mother to tears.She cried and said, "Just think of it as making mother feel better." Su Yunjin is not an old-fashioned person, and accepting this kindness at a time like this is a good decision for everyone.

When the pressure of life was not so great, Su Yunjin had relatively more time, and working in the library had become a habit, so she continued to do it, but when she inadvertently looked up, she could no longer see the warm-hearted smiling people.After Shen Ju'an graduated, I heard that she entered Hengkai smoothly after all. She once reminded her of a person who was old in the world, and finally lost contact with her.

As for Cheng Zheng, Su Yunjin didn't see him again for a whole year.She understood how he felt, and the truth was sometimes more disappointing than a lie.It was also through Mo Yuhua that Su Yunjin learned a few words about him, and it was nothing more than the news that he had won a prize in a certain design competition.He has always been outstanding, and after staying away from her, he is still the proud Cheng Zheng who has everything.Maybe he woke up after that night and slowly erased from his heart the girl he once loved but who disappointed him.

(End of this chapter)