120 philosophical essays you must read in your life

Chapter 91

Chapter 5 Section 12 Beneficial socializing

[UK] Hume
The social world is formed by a group of people with various interests and hobbies who like to socialize.Pleasant appreciation, easy and graceful reason, reflections on the various affairs of human life in different shades, a sense of responsibility for public life, the observation of defects or perfections in concrete things, bring together people from all directions and classes.Thinking about some of these issues alone is lacking in strength and unworkable. It requires the participation of people like him, and the need to talk and communicate with people of the same kind to obtain the necessary mental training.In this way people will naturally form social groups, each of whom can express his views on various problems, exchange information, and enjoy each other in the best way he can.

But such conversations in gatherings must have the help of truths in poetry, political discourse, history, and philosophy, because without the help of these, there will be no topic of conversation that is suitable for the conversation of reasonable people.If there were no such topics, would not all our conversations be tedious chatter, and what gain would our minds gain?Except for the same old routine:

Endless blah, blah, blah, blah.

Gossip, parents short-sighted.

Confused and distracted.

Such wasting of time is the least welcome among company, and the most consuming of our taste and will.

【Together with you】

There are two noblemen, both from the west of England, one of them likes to tease others, but the banquets at home are always good food.The other one often likes to ask those who have been to his family banquet: "Tell me honestly, isn't anyone at the banquet being mocked?" It happened at the table.Then the nobleman said: "I have known for a long time that his mouth will spoil a good meal." Bitter words should be said less, because the topic of discussion should be like a field in which people can walk as they please, not Like a trail leading directly to the door of a certain house.

"Prudent words are better than eloquence, and gentle words are more effective in conversing with people than clear and beautiful words. If the words are eloquent, but they are not well answered, they will appear slow; Talking, it can't help appearing shallow and weak. Just like the animals we see in nature, they run after the weakest but turn around very nimbly, like the difference between a hound and a hare. Too many detours before getting to the point is easily tiresome , but too blunt and blunt.” Bacon expressed his views on speech in communication.

Speech is actually image.When a person makes a statement, he is actually shaping his own image. No one else can help you shape yourself into what you want.

Speech is also a form of public relations.The art of public relations, to a large extent, is not the art of knowing what to say, but the art of knowing what not to say.One careless word is enough to overshadow ten radiant words, and it will leave irreparable losses and regrets for oneself.

A person who often ridicules others, even though he may have Romulus' eloquence, his heart is mostly Wang Lun's.

Speech can be flattering or hurtful, which is one aspect of the problem.Excessive flattery becomes hurtful, and unprovoked hurtful sometimes becomes flattering. This is another aspect of the problem.

It is such a habit that one should develop the habit of saying criticism to the face and praise behind the back, not the other way around.

Demeaning or hurtful remarks are often made by a person whose self-esteem has been hurt.If a person puts his energy on self-protection such a fragile and poor self-esteem, then his poor self-esteem is more likely to be hurt.

If you tell a friend about your happiness, you will get two happiness; if you pour out your sorrow to a friend, you will get half of your sorrow.

(End of this chapter)