Marriage Crisis: Lonely Apricot Blossom

Chapter 20
Before she was 22 years old, she never worried about any ups and downs in her fate. The long-term worry-free food and clothing and calm seas gave her this illusion, and she has always been very self-aware, and never expected things that were divorced from reality.However, the mystery of fate lies in its elusiveness—the faithful husband she has always been proud of never forgets her first love!

She painfully realized that Fang Zhenqian's betrayal was a heavy blow to her self-confidence, which made her unable to grasp the direction for a long time, and refused to think about such issues as "the way out and the prospect".

However, no matter how much she groaned, what should have happened has already happened, and everything can't be repeated.

Yan Jia originally thought that she could say goodbye to the past in a cool way, shake her head and start over again, but after trying it, she found that it was not that easy, and she would still be disturbed by the past from time to time. Seven years, after all, are not short.

What bothered her even more was that Fang Zhenqian broke into her life again.

Thinking of this, she suddenly felt a little resentful, why this person always haunts him, from the outside to the inside.

She wanted to give him a hard look, but she was shocked to find that she had been in Fang Zhenqian's arms at some point, and he was staring at her with tenderness mixed with pity.

That gaze was like a fire, illuminating her frustration, which made her very unbearable. She pushed hard, trying to get out of his embrace, but it was useless, he didn't even move.

"What do you want to do?" Although she was weak, she was not panic-stricken, and she believed that he would not dare to act recklessly.

But she was wrong, before she could think of the next step, his lips had already touched her.

A strange yet familiar atmosphere suddenly surrounded her. The alcohol fermented and burned in her body, making her unable to think or even breathe. She was allowed to be hugged, sucked and crushed by him...

She panted, her hands wrapped around his neck involuntarily, her body was completely out of rational control, and she was going to cooperate with him with ease. Did she, deep down in her heart, always yearn for his hug again?
Dimly, she vaguely realized that he picked her up and walked into the bedroom, his lips still kissed her deeply, demanding so eagerly that she would not be half conscious.

She felt his hands go into her shirt, groping for the buds on her chest, and the buttons were easily undone.The sound of his rapid breathing could be heard next to his ears, and he was bearing his hot body ignited by desire.

"Jiajia, I love you, Jiajia..." His whispering voice rang in her ears again and again.

This long-lost scene once appeared in her sleep, making her intoxicated and intoxicated, but when she woke up, she fell into a lot of regret and hatred, like purgatory.

Yan Jia suddenly shivered.

The cold mist surrounded them heavily, and then she saw the wall that separated them, the wall that she could never break down, she was on this side of the wall, and he was on the other side.

In this life, they are doomed to only look at each other from a distance at both ends of the wall, and never communicate with each other until death.

So now, what is he doing?Was he delusional to break through the wall and pull her over?

What are his qualifications?
Anger suddenly burned throughout her body like a fire, overcoming the effects of alcohol and the vain desire in her body, she suddenly pushed away the man who was prostrate on her body, she did not allow herself to fall into his tenderness again.

Fang Zhenqian was beside her in embarrassment, panting heavily, and looked at her with complicated eyes. In just a few seconds, he had understood her mental journey, but he could do nothing because he was the culprit.

The two hunted each other like a hunter and a prey, no one said a word, and they used their eyes for a silent contest.

In the end, Fang Zhenqian was defeated, turned his eyes away, and sighed slightly, "Jiajia..." But he couldn't say anything else.

Tears gradually welled up in Yan Jia's eyes, she bit her lip, "Fang Zhengan, how dare you!" Halfway through speaking, she was already sobbing.

At this moment, she is fully awake.

This man, who had hurt her so deeply and caused her to lose the chance to be a mother, dared to treat her so brazenly now, and she responded to him with such joy, he must have felt everything.She felt ashamed and all she wanted was to cry.

Tears flowed down his cheeks, Fang Zhenqian lost his mind for a moment, leaned over and hugged her, "Jiajia, I'm sorry, it's my fault, and it's me... always making you cry..."

His heart was sore, as if everything he did was wrong, but he loved her so much.

She sobbed, in pain, "Fang Zhenqian, I hate you, do you know how much I hate you?" She beat him hard and bit him.The depression accumulated for more than a year finally erupted like a torrent at this moment.

"Why do you still appear in front of me? Do you know that you are selfish?" She was tearful, but she asked him viciously.

If he disappears and never appears, then sooner or later she will forget him, and sooner or later she will find someone to start over, it's just a matter of time.

But when he came, how could he tell her to forget the past?
Her tears deeply shocked Fang Zhenqian.

Even at the moment when she announced that she was going to divorce him, she didn't shed a single tear in front of him.

Let him mistakenly think that maybe she is a free and easy woman who is easy to forget.But now, he suddenly understood that she didn't cry because she hated him so much that she even spared tears for him.

He was in so much pain that he didn't know how to deal with it, his hands and feet were completely messed up, his usual calmness and calmness no longer existed, he hugged her tightly, and tried in vain with a begging tone.

"Jia Jia, forgive me, forgive me? As long as you are willing to forgive, from now on, I will always guard you, forever, I will use my life to compensate you, I..."

In front of Yan Jia flashed a bloody and unformed fetus, and the bloody scene had been deeply burned in her heart, and no matter how much she shed tears, she couldn't wash it away.

"No!" She hardened her heart and pushed away the still warm embrace, she shouldn't stay there.

Fang Zhen stopped talking, and looked at her with ashen face.

Yan Jia staggered and got out of bed, pointed to the door, and said coldly: "You go."

Fang Zhenqian paused, his face paler than the moonlight, he stared at her desperately, but just didn't move.

Yan Jia couldn't bear to look at him, so she didn't turn her face away, suppressed the sadness in her heart, and said in a voice like ice: "Fang Zhenqian, there is no future between us."

He finally got off the bed and walked slowly in front of her. Yan Jia didn't retreat, she froze and didn't move.

For a long time, Fang Zhenqian slowly turned her face away. He was searching her eyes, trying to find a trace of lying, but she always lowered her eyes and refused to show her.All he could capture was a lifeless face, frosted and dead silent.

It's all his fault, he thought, and smiled a little, as if giving up on himself.

Once some mistakes are made, there is no turning back, and he, after racking his brains for a long time, finally found that this is still a dead end.

His eyes dimmed little by little until they were completely dull.

When he woke up suddenly, there were already stars outside the house.

Yan Jia looked around the room, there was no one there, Fang Zhenqian had already left.

She rolled over and got out of bed, because the movement was a little violent, her nerve endings throbbed, and she couldn't help moaning.

The dining table in the small living room was clean, and all the cups and plates were gone, as if nothing had happened.

A farewell that had been played out in this room hours ago now seemed like a messy dream.

At this moment, she was standing blankly at the "performance" scene. Apart from the headache of the hangover, she could still vaguely recall the chaotic scene here a few hours ago, drunk, kissing...

Her face was a little hot, as if she had uttered some harsh words for fun, and the last memory was fixed on Fang Zhenqian's dead eyes.

Yan Jia sighed, and shook her head again. At the moment, she just felt tired and couldn't do any extra thinking. She went to the bathroom to clean up a little, and climbed back to bed.

Soon, she fell asleep again.

It was finally bright, and the soft autumn sunlight shone into Yan Jia's eyes through the curtains as soft as gauze.

She stretched comfortably, slept well, and was in good spirits.

She didn't get up immediately, she lay on her back on the bed, stared straight at the ceiling, and was stunned for a while.

Some thoughts are stuck in my mind and are messy, and I need to sort them out.

I don't know if Fang Zhenqian will come today.

Yan Jia sensed her thoughts, and unconsciously knocked hard on her forehead.

After going through last night, she believed that he would not bother her again.

He is actually not a thick-skinned man, he has always known how to hold himself back, if it wasn't for the sake of redeeming him this time, he probably wouldn't let her be sarcastic.

Yan Jia's heart trembled suddenly, and his pale face from last night flashed before his eyes again.

She sat up hastily, ordering herself not to sympathize with him.

"He deserves it!" She muttered angrily to herself, and then she felt better.

The whole day, Fang Zhenqian really didn't come to the door, and he didn't even bother her on the phone.Yan Jia breathed a sigh of relief, if he came again, she really didn't know how to face him.

Bored at home until night, always depressed, Yan Jia felt that if she continued to huddle in this narrow and stuffy space, she would go crazy.

Tomorrow, tomorrow must go out.

So, when the first morning light of the next day spilled on the floor through the curtains, Yan Jia began to pack her bags.

This time, the place she is going to is Shaoxing, an ancient cultural town full of strong Jiangnan atmosphere and completely different from modern cities.

This is her second visit to Shaoxing, and she can't find the tranquility and joy of the last time she came when she stepped on the thick bluestone road of Cangqiaozhi Street.All you can see are tourists rushing by like a tide, and it is difficult to even turn around.In such a crowded place, she felt increasingly lonely and uninterested.

Bracing herself up, she insisted on visiting several scenic spots, such as Xianheng Hotel, Lu Xun Memorial Hall, Jianhu Lake, competing for photo space with hundreds of thousands of tourists, and was often persuaded by people, "Sorry, please let me go , we're going to take a picture."

Towards dusk, she went from three hotels until she finally found a room at twice the usual price.

Sleeping badly, the next day, after checking out early, she went to Zhuji.

"Xishi Yuexi Girl, from Zhuluo Mountain", this is a poem by Li Bai, a great poet of the Tang Dynasty.The peerless beauty Xi Shi grew up here.The white Xishi sculpture quietly appeared in the valley, attracting countless tourists to take photos.

Going forward, not far from the hometown of Xishi, there is the famous Wuxie Waterfall, which is famous for its strange and unpredictable posture.

Standing at the bottom of the empty canyon, looking up at the white water curtain hanging down from the sky, the fine and dense water droplets floated on the face, which was cold and refreshing.Close your eyes, the sound of turbulent water covers all the hustle and bustle of the mundane world, gradually calming Yan Jia's impetuous mood, and washing the dusty heart.

Climbing up to the Guanpu Pavilion on Hanqiu Ridge, Yan Jia stood there for a long time. Tourists came, left, and came again. Gradually, the crowd dispersed.

Yan Jia also began to walk down the mountain slowly.

In the middle of the mountain, there is a small shop, the shop is not big, there is a game of chess at the door, and two people are sitting quietly playing chess.

When Yan Jia walked over, she couldn't help but glanced at them, and her eyes happened to bump into one of them. It was an old man with a kind face and a hale and hearty face. He had a long white beard, which gave him a sense of immortality.

"Girl, do you want to be a gown?"

Yan Jia stopped in astonishment, looked at the old man carefully, and then at the dilapidated signboard hanging on the tree next to him, on which the word 'fortune-telling' was written crookedly.

She has never done fortune-telling before, and when a middle-aged man and woman with bright eyes come up to do the fortune-telling for her in a crowded place by chance, she would avoid it, full of disgust.

However, in this paradise-like mountain town, there is an atmosphere of leisure everywhere, and the old man in front of her does have such a mysterious character, she did not refuse by some coincidence, but sat down in the seat indicated by the other party.

Seeing that the old man had something to do, the other chess player tactfully put away the chessboard and went into the shop.

"Mr., with so many people coming and going, why do you ask me for fortune-telling alone?" Yan Jia wondered.

"You have something on your mind." He looked at her firmly.

The old man sat at the door all day long, and there were so many people watching, how could he not see Yan Jia's preoccupied footsteps and preoccupied eyes.

Yan Jia became interested, "What algorithm?"

"Choose whatever you want. You can test characters, read palms, and draw lots."

Yan Jia thought for a while, "Then let's draw lots."

The old man gave her a tube of bamboo sticks, which must have various stamps written on it.

Yan Jia held the lottery jar in her hand, looked at the black and dirty jar body and stick, and couldn't help but have doubts in her heart. Can a person's fate be controlled by this insignificant little thing?
Even though he was thinking this way, his hands were already shaking according to the old man's instructions.

The bamboo sticks collided in the bamboo tube, making a crisp sound, and with the rattling sound, one of the sticks finally couldn't bear it, broke away from the barrel, and was the first to throw it out.

The moment Yan Jia picked up the sign, her childish mentality suddenly became heavy, as if she was really about to face the second half of her life.

She took a deep breath, carefully turned the lottery over, and silently recited the poem above: This feeling can be regarded as a memory, but it was already at a loss.

Yan Jia read it twice in a row, feeling a vague melancholy wrapping her heart.

The old man took the bamboo stick, glanced at it, and then looked at Yan Jia's expression. He already figured out that fortune-telling is actually a kind of psychology.

"Trapped by marriage?"

Yan Jia nodded.

"Are you both interested in each other?"

Yan Jia hesitated for a moment, "That's right." She couldn't lie to the sky.

"If you can cross the same boat after a hundred years of cultivation, and sleep together if you can sleep together after a thousand years of cultivation, then cherish it." The old man laughed.

Yan Jia frowned slightly, facing strangers, she found that it was actually easy to express her inner troubles, "But, he hurt me, I can't forgive him, and I can't pass my own test."

The old man put away his smile, stroked his white beard, half closed his eyes, thought for a while, and said, "Let me tell you a story."

"In a famous monastery, there lived a very Taoist priest. He raised a dog. The dog's name was very strange, called 'put down'. Every time at sunset, the Taoist priest gave 'put down' The meal was over, and he was still calling: "Put it down! Put it down!" The little disciple felt very strange, so he asked the chief: "Why do you give the dog such a strange name? People's dogs are called Ahuang, Laifu, etc. Why does your dog bark 'put down'? The Taoist priest didn't say a word, let them realize it by themselves. The young disciples observed the old Taoist priest, and finally found that: every day after the Taoist priest finished feeding the dog, he stopped reading scriptures and went to the courtyard to do Tai Chi fist, take a walk. The little disciples went to the Taoist priest and told the results of their observations. The senior Taoist nodded with a smile and said: You finally understand. In fact, when I called the dog, I was actually telling myself to let go. Many things. You will definitely find that the sky will not fall down. It’s not that you don’t want to make progress, but that you know how to let go, and you will win in the end.”

Yan Jia rested her chin and listened carefully.

"Life is short, and there are many disasters. If you carry every burden on your back, you will be very tired, and you may even be unable to walk one day. Therefore, you have to let go of many things to be relaxed. More importantly, Only by letting go can you let yourself and others live, and only by letting go can you find a real solution to the problem."

A few words from the old man hit Yan Jia's heart hard, as if something like a shell had been cracked in several cracks, and it might shatter at any time.

Such an old story, the old man has told many people, it is almost a panacea, but everyone's perception after listening to it is different.

People, sometimes what is needed is not fortune-telling, but enlightenment.

Yan Jia seemed to understand something.

After paying the money and thanking the old man, she hurried down the mountain, and it was almost dark.

(End of this chapter)