let me look at you

Chapter 80 Poison Apple

What's there to cry about, aren't you dancing Snow White?Don't you know that, before the prince came, Snow White ate a poisoned apple, and that's how she fell ill.

Early the next morning, Ju Nian got up from the poor-quality folding bed provided by the hospital. After washing up, he called the store and asked for a day off. When he came back, he found that Feiming was awake.

In fact, Feiming didn't open her eyes, Ju Nian could see the clue from her closed eyes and trembling eyelashes than when she was asleep.A long time ago, Ju Nian was also a child who liked to pretend to be asleep. When her parents were talking about her brother who was about to be born, and when her aunt and uncle were yelling and scolding, she also closed her eyes so hard. The more she wanted to fall asleep, the harder it was for her to fall asleep. Fall asleep.Later, there was another Wu Yu beside her, and the two often lay on the grass next to the pomegranate tree, the sun passing through the closed eyelids, rendering an orange-red color in the darkness.Wu Yu's breath was on the side, even and long. She tried to adjust her breath to the same rhythm as his, but she couldn't fall asleep, her mind was filled with the faint smell of grass, and the smell of the sun shining on the pine branches.Occasionally, fallen leaves hit her face, itching, but she didn't want to disturb the people around her, so she wrinkled her nose and endured it, only to hear Wu Yu's laughter... Han Shu said that Feiming was not like her at all, that It was natural, but Ju Nian seemed to see himself in Feiming for a second, after all, it was the child she brought up.

She sat by the bed and called softly, "Feiming, are you awake?"

Feiming didn't move at all, but after a few seconds, big tears flowed from the corners of his closed eyes.

"Are you hungry? Auntie is going to buy you breakfast. What do you want?"

"Don't cry, is there something uncomfortable?"

"Feiming, did you hear what my aunt said?"

Even though Ju Nian was on the sidelines, Feiming seemed to be doing nothing but crying.

"Wait, aunt will call you a doctor." Ju Nian was helpless, and also afraid that the child might have some unobserved symptoms, so he stood up.

But Feiming burst into a sharp cry at this moment, shaking her head on the pillow as hard as she could, but still refused to open her eyes, shouting: "I don't want a doctor, I don't want a doctor... I'm not sick. "

Ju Nian was also a little panicked, and hurriedly wiped Feiming's tears, "Okay, you are not sick, then open your eyes and see Auntie first."

Feiming's voice was sobbing heavily, "I don't open my eyes. If I open my eyes, the dream I had before will come true. The teacher is urging me, I'm going to dance... the next program It's our..."

"After you wake up, we are discharged from the hospital, and we can still dance."

"You lied to me. No one wants me to dance anymore. Others have seen my strange appearance, and Li Te has seen it too..."

She cried so desperately, twisting the sheets on both sides with both hands, Ju Nian's heart was also slowly clenched amidst the child's cries.It's not that she doesn't understand Feiming's sadness, this blow must be too heavy for a child like Feiming.

The nurse came and left, and the family members of other patients in the same ward were kind-hearted, and helped Ju Nian to coax him for a while, but found that there was no way to do it, so they had no choice but to help.Ju Nian didn't bother to persuade him any more, and sat aside, watching Feiming cry with all his strength until he was powerless, there were no more tears to shed, only intermittent sobbing.She hated herself at this moment. If she was smarter, she might be able to give Feiming more relief, and she wouldn't be unable to do anything like she is now.

The doctor also came in several times and told him that it was time to send Feiming to take a CT scan, but Feiming's state was really not a good time for observation.Ju Nian spent a while helpless, Han Shu came in like a gust of wind, without saying a word, opened a box in his hand, and filled the whole bedside table with the messy gadgets inside.

Presumably he also noticed Feiming's terrible appearance, Han Shu cast a questioning look at Ju Nian, and Ju Nian lowered his head.

Han Shu cleared his throat and sat beside Feiming, "Little beauty, look what I brought you."

No one expected that Feiming heard his voice close at hand, sat up surprisingly, hugged him, and started crying again while calling "Uncle Han Shu".Han Shu glanced at Ju Nian, then quickly patted Feiming on the back to coax him, "What is there to be so sad about, my face is wrinkled from crying, how ugly...don't cry, my nose is all on my shirt Alright, how will Uncle Han Shu go to work later?"

Feiming doesn't care, how to rub or how to rub, "I can't go to school anymore, others have seen it."

"What did you see?" Han Shu deliberately asked casually.

Feiming refused to answer, but cried even more sadly.

"Oh...you mean what happened last night, I heard about it." Han Shu drew his tone, blinked at Ju Nian, and said to Feiming, "There's no need to cry, you didn't dance Snow White Don't you know that, before the prince came, Snow White ate a poisoned apple, and that's how she fell ill."

"I...I didn't eat the apple..." Feiming said intermittently.

"You ate it a long time ago, it's just chronic." Han Shu rubbed Feiming's hair, "No one laughed at you. When I rushed there, my classmates were very concerned about you. What is the name of the boy you mentioned last time?" with..."

"Li Te." Ju Nian hurriedly reminded him from the side.

"Yes, Li Te, he is anxious like a little old man..."

"You're talking nonsense!" Feiming protested.

Han Shu laughed, "Look, the prince will definitely not laugh at Snow White, only witches will. Come on, see what Uncle Han Shu brought you, I brought it here specially for you, I have to go right away Go to work."

Although Ju Nian couldn't believe it, Feiming really opened his eyes slowly under Han Shu's cajoling nonsense, picked up one of the Winnie the Pooh with one hand, and looked at it while sniffing.

Seeing this, Ju Nian hurried out to contact the doctor for the next examination, while Han Shu and Feiming were left chatting.When she came back, Han Shu was already waiting for her outside the ward with a briefcase on his back.

Ju Nian still couldn't help feeling embarrassed, but Han Shu's appearance did her a favor, which I had to admit.Putting aside the past, as far as the present is concerned, it doesn't make sense for her to ignore him.

"You...Aren't you in a hurry to go to work? You're going to be late."

Han Shu nodded, "There is an important meeting to be held today."

"Then...bye."

"You seem to be in a hurry than me." Han Shu said with a smile.

Ju Nian couldn't smile, and forced the corners of his lips together, "I'm going in, and I'm going to accompany Feiming to do a CT scan later."

"If you have any results, you must tell me. Let's go, I'm really going to be late." After Han Shu finished speaking, he saw Ju Nian holding a cup of soy milk with a straw in one hand, and snatched it before she had time to react. , muttering, "I'm starving, I didn't even eat breakfast!"

Ju Nian suddenly petrified, looked at his empty hand, and said seemingly reluctantly: "This cup..."

Although he knew that there was no obvious reaction due to her temper, Han Shu took a step back and proudly shook the half-cup of soy milk, and drank it through a straw like raw rice cooked rice He took a sip, and then saw Ju Nian's wide-open eyes in a daze, and immediately felt great joy in his heart.

"Xie Ju Nian, it's just a cup of soy milk, you won't be so stingy, will you?" Han Shu was so good that he was cheap.

"The problem is...the problem is..." When Ju Nian was in a hurry, his mouth would be clumsy, which couldn't compare to Han Shu's rascal and quick talk.

He snapped up and said, "What's the problem? I don't mind if I drank it. Why are you nervous? Do you have an infectious disease?"

Han Shu drank and walked away, Ju Nian blushed from holding back, saw someone approaching, and said cautiously: "I'm not sick, but the grandma of the kid next door has a cold."

Han Shu froze for a moment, unable to keep up with Ju Nian's jumping speed of thinking, until he saw the old lady walking towards them from a distance, her face was somewhat familiar, both hands were holding a hot water bottle, and one finger of her right hand was hooked. With a bag of buns.He seemed to have suddenly learned a terrible truth. He glanced at the cup of soy milk again, with a strange expression, as if he wanted to say something, but was interrupted by a disgusted expression, and then quickly disappeared in Ju Nian. within sight.

Ju Nian had no choice but to see the old lady approaching, greeted her, took a kettle for her, and made up a reason why the soy milk disappeared. The old lady graciously forgave her.

Nearly eleven o'clock, Pingfeng came to see Feiming again. The makeup on her face was not removed completely, and her eyes were dark and blue. She seemed to have just returned from "off work".When she arrived, Feiming had just finished various inspections and fell asleep again tiredly, holding a Winnie the Pooh in his hand. Ju Nian was looking down at the serials in the newspaper, when he heard Pingfeng's footsteps, he raised his head Laughed a bit.

Pingfeng moved a stool lightly and sat beside Ju Nian, looked at Feiming, "It's not a big problem, this kid is really pitiful."

Ju Nian put the newspaper on his knees and nodded, "The doctor said that when the test results come out, you can leave the hospital tomorrow if there is nothing wrong."

"Looking at you like this, I feel much more at ease, kid, no one has three disasters and five disasters." Ping Feng said, took out an old envelope from his bag, and stuffed it under Ju Nian's newspaper.

Ju Nian opened it slightly and was taken aback, "Where do you get so many?"

Pingfeng picked up an apple she brought and peeled it, "I earned it. It's not for you, it's for you. Did you forget what happened last time?" She was referring to the time when she broke her leg. Later, she repaid the 5000 yuan that Tang Ye had "blackmailed".

Ju Nian lowered his voice, "I'm asking where did you get so much at once?"

Pingfeng's life style is more or less known, the money is not easy to come by, Pingfeng's family is burdened, and sometimes she is more flexible, in addition to subsidizing those younger siblings who look down on her, she buys all kinds of clothes and clothes for herself. Skin care products have the attitude of not giving up until they spend the last penny. They have never had any savings, and after emptying them out, they earn a round day and night. It is really urgent, and they often ask fifty or one hundred borrow.In Pingfeng's own words, being a monk for one day hits the clock for one day, life is too short, and who can control tomorrow's affairs.

Ping Feng lowered his head and smiled and said, "You really don't believe that I will meet a big fish with 'stupid people and rich money'? Recently, money has come easily... Anyway, you take this money, and now is the time to use it. See This child's face is as white as a wall, and I will buy her some delicious food after being discharged from the hospital."

Ju Nian did not shirk, took out part of the envelope, put it in his pocket, and stuffed the rest back into Pingfeng's hands, "You should save some for yourself, we are not young... especially you, I have to have some money for self-defense, and Feiming is not in good health now, so I can’t help you with anything.” Seeing that Pingfeng didn’t pick it up, she simply put it in Pingfeng’s unpacked bag. That's right, but as long as one has breath, tomorrow will always come, and there's nothing to do about it."

Pingfeng listened silently, saw a bunch of gadgets on Feiming's bed, changed the subject, smiled and kicked Ju Nian lightly, "Is it a gift from someone?"

Ju Nian smiled and didn't answer.

Pingfeng said: "I really can't see that he looks serious and knows how to buy this." Seeing that Ju Nian still didn't respond, she continued, "Don't pretend to be stupid, I saw him yesterday, I didn't expect you to keep in touch, How about he can be so coincidental, rushing over when the child is sick? I think he is not bad."

Only then did Ju Nian realize that she was talking about Tang Ye, and said with a smile: "Don't talk nonsense, others..." She stopped, of course she couldn't say it, Tang Ye likes men, or he said he "liked men", Although this does not make any difference to the Year of the Orange.

"What's the matter with others? You said it." Ping Feng didn't let it go so easily, "I can't tell, I said why you didn't look bad when you first came here, are you thinking about him? Say To be honest, yesterday I found out that he looks at you differently, the way a man looks at a woman..."

Ju Nian hurriedly "hush" and stopped Ping Feng from getting more and more excited with a smile, "Please, this is Pediatrics."

Pingfeng restrained a little, lowered her voice to the lowest, but still insisted on saying: "Sometimes I feel that you have become a fairy, and you have no emotions or desires. You don’t have to worry about anything, but can you really do that? People have to eat whole grains to live, and they cannot avoid mundane things. Take the present as an example, you are alone with a sick child, dare you say that it’s not bitter at all? The facts are obvious, Why don't you want money? You always say that I don't plan for the future. I think you are talking about yourself... Ju Nian, after all, you are different from me. I don't plan because I have nothing to do, but you still have... "

"Really?" Ju Nian smiled, and Ping Feng preached to her, that feeling was a bit weird.

"Why not? I can't explain the truth, but there are some things everyone understands. To put it bluntly, a woman should have a man. Someone to hug when she sleeps, and someone to lean on when she is unlucky. It's as simple as that. What do you say? There's nothing wrong with the surname Tang. He has a few pennies. He looks decent and doesn't look bad. The most important thing is that he treats you a little bit like that. You know, we've all been there before. Find someone else It’s not easy to be a good man, someone with a clean net worth, who can find someone released after serving his sentence, you think he is Jesus? By the way, does he know that you have stayed in it?”

"Who?" Ju Nian was startled, "Oh... I told him."

"Then what else do you want? I said Ju Nian, you burned high incense in your last life, listen to me, don't be stupid, even if it's for this child, live a normal life, after this village, there will be no such shop Yes. If someone asks me what kind of person I want to find, I only want one thing, to give me someone who doesn't care about my past and has nothing to do with my past."

"Don't care about my past, and it has nothing to do with my past?" Ju Nian repeated mechanically.

Although the two spoke in a low voice, they still alarmed Feiming on the bed.Feiming moved, opened his eyes in a daze, and opened his mouth to ask, "Is Uncle Han Shu gone?"

Ju Nian hurriedly said, "Aunt Pingfeng has come to see you."

Pingfeng handed a peeled apple to Feiming. Feiming glanced at her but didn't reach out to pick it up.

"Still thinking about your poisonous apple?" Ju Nian hurriedly took it on behalf of Feiming, then smiled at Pingfeng, "This kid really blamed the apple for his illness."

Pingfeng didn't say anything, and stood up with the opportunity, hanging the backpack on his shoulder, "I should go back to sleep too."

Ju Nian sent Pingfeng out, but Feiming didn't say goodbye to Pingfeng.This is not the first time she has been so indifferent to "Aunt Pingfeng". Since she indirectly learned about the starting point of this aunt and aunt's acquaintance, this attitude has not changed. No matter how much Ju Nian blames and persuades, it is useless.

Perhaps for Feiming, Ju Nian is her aunt, she has no choice, so she has to ignore the fact that her aunt was also a prisoner and love her aunt, but Pingfeng is an outsider, an outsider with an unbearable past.

Sometimes Ju Nian doesn’t know how to teach Feiming to judge good and evil. The child doesn’t understand the complicated things. Even if she grows up, she may not be able to understand it. Maybe it has nothing to do with age. That's it.She didn't know whether to feel sad or happy for the child's increasingly clear concept of right and wrong.But no matter what, it is always good for Feiming to have a clean life, unlike her, who lived half her life in the gray of chaos, she was in love with the son of a murderer, and was loved by a boy who might have committed a rape , imprisoned for robbery and shelter, adopted a child of unknown origin, and befriended a prostitute, and finally a man said that he might give her a new life, but he turned out to be gay.Ju Nian thought, how talented the god who ruled her destiny must be to be able to direct this crazy humorous drama.

In the afternoon, unable to bear Feiming's repeated complaints about the disgusting smell of the hospital's disinfectant, Ju Nian slowly began to pack her things. She knew Feiming's physical condition and the cause of the disease in her mind, and maybe she could get it from the doctor soon. After the test results, you can be discharged from the hospital. After all, this disease cannot be cured by lying in the hospital.

Feiming lives in a room with three beds, one of which is empty, and the other is a bed with a seriously ill child who has no energy to eat and get up, so he can only rely on his grandmother to take care of him.The girl was a bit older than Feiming, but her development was very slow, she looked less than ten years old, and she had very little hair left.Feiming didn't dare to look at the girl directly, she already knew that she was afraid of the fragility of life, so she kept asking Ju Nian for information about her discharge from the hospital.

"Auntie, when can we leave?"

"Will Uncle Han Shu come to pick me up?"

"When we leave the hospital later, remember to take the things Uncle Han Shu gave me."

……

Finally, near the time for the doctor to leave work, a nurse came in and asked Ju Nian to go to the doctor's office.When Ju Nian nodded, Feiming's expression seemed to be seeing the dawn.

A few minutes later, Ju Nian was sitting in the doctor's office.The doctor in charge of Feiming was a very kind-looking old man. After asking about Ju Nian's identity and the reason why Feiming's parents could not come, he flipped through Feiming's medical records and examination reports over and over again.

Although she had been mentally prepared before the orange year, the silent atmosphere and the sound of slowly turning the pages still made her feel uneasy.

"Xie Feiming is your niece...then, do you know something about her physical condition?" After a long time, the doctor finally opened his mouth.

Ju Nian nodded, no matter how hard it was to say it, it was just the word "epilepsy".She has known since the day she adopted Feiming.In the first few years, she was always worried, fearing that this disease like a time bomb would strike Feiming at any time, but Feiming grew up like a healthy child, but the disease had been latent for too long. It's been so long that even Ju Nian mistakenly thought it didn't exist.

The doctor glanced at Ju Nian, then pulled out the image of Feiming's head from a stack of inspection reports, and then pointed to a certain place in the picture with the tip of the pen in his hand.

Ju Nian only saw a small white dot.

The doctor said slowly: "Our preliminary diagnosis is that the brain hemisphere of the child has a glioblastoma with a size of about 4cm×3cm."

Ju Nian was silent, looking at the doctor quietly, as if it was difficult to understand what the doctor meant for a while.

"In other words, we believe that Xie Feiming has a brain tumor, which is likely the root cause of her seizures."

This time, Ju Nian understood.She found herself making a mistake again, like so many times in the past, in the face of fear, she thought she was prepared enough, but she was not.

(End of this chapter)