Funny: The Hilarious Life of a Wasted Taoist 1

Chapter 26 The Underworld (2)
Hearing this, King Yan asked, "Did he really say that?"

Fu Qingcheng fell on the ground and trembled: "This incident has changed my life. I have recalled what happened that day no less than a thousand times in the following decades. I can remember every word and deed of that person clearly, and I will never be wrong. !"

Yan Wang said angrily: "It's unreasonable for him to understate such a serious matter of changing your life! He said to change your life, what did he do? How did you change your life?"

"Actually, I don't know how he changed his life. He asked me if I wanted to change my life. I said yes, and then he asked me to do one thing, and then came here to find him the next day." Fu Qingcheng continued, " But what he asked me to do was really unbelievable!"

I asked, "What did he ask you to do?"

"He asked me to take the corpse of a boy about my age, then changed clothes with the corpse, then put a drop of blood on the silk thread he gave me, tied the thread to the corpse, and finally buried the corpse in the A location that I can remember. I didn’t know where to find the body. The man told me to go to the forest in the back mountain. I went over and saw that there was a child’s body there. I did as he said. Especially the place where the corpse is buried, I have memorized it no less than a thousand times."

I said, "Is this the resurrection of the dead? Could it be that the dead person was Leng Baoyuan?"

Sanniang shook her head and said, "Leng Baoyuan should not have died then."

"I don't know who it is, and that person didn't tell me. I was very scared at the time, but I thought it would affect my future fate, so I did it anyway." Fu Qingcheng said, "I will go to the blind man the next day after I have done everything. At the door, the man is indeed there."

"The man was empty-handed, and it looked the same as yesterday. I told him that I had followed his instructions, and asked him if he wanted to do it now. The man smiled and said that his fate had been changed."

I was baffled by what I heard, and asked, "Why did you change it all of a sudden?"

Fu Qingcheng said: "At that time, I was a child after all, and I didn't think so much. The man told me that he found a child's life, and the child's life was the most suitable for me. It's just that although he was born poor, he ended up rich and powerful. "

The hanged ghost exclaimed: "Baoyuan?"

Fu Qingcheng nodded: "That's right, that person is Leng Baoyuan."

Sanniang said: "But you changed Leng Baoyuan's life, but your life did not follow Leng Baoyuan's fate."

Fu Qingcheng said: "He also told me about this. He said that he changed his fate against the sky and violated the cycle of heaven. He can't guarantee what will happen in the future. Although I have been poor all my life, this poverty is also to pay off the debts of my previous life, so I can live To more than 90 years old. Although Leng Baoyuan is rich, he only has a lifespan of more than 50 years. If I regret it, there is still time to change it back. I thought to myself that I would rather live a rich life for decades than be poor for a lifetime, saying that I don’t mind , as long as there is a chance to change my destiny, I will change. So the man nodded and told me to call myself Leng Baoyuan from now on, and give me directions on where to go and what to do to make my journey smooth, and he told me at that time The last thing I want to do is how to get into General Kong’s mansion and meet Kong Ting.”

Hearing this, General Kong was already furious, and cursed: "He also taught you to murder my Kong family?"

Fu Qingcheng quickly clarified: "No, he just told me that I will go to General Kong's mansion in 16 years. If I can't go, I will go to the local school and make a good relationship with the teachers there. They will introduce me and meet a woman there. , and that woman will be my wife and my nobleman, a turning point in the fate of poverty."

Sanniang whispered to me: "Have you noticed that just now he was desperately trying to get himself off the crime, but now he is eager to defend that person, it seems that he is very afraid of that person."

I thought about it, and asked, "It's been 16 years, and you haven't doubted his words?"

Fu Qingcheng said: "Actually, I was skeptical at first, because I didn't see him do anything to prove that he changed my life. But I found that everything he said to me was realized one by one, especially according to his After meeting Kong Ting, all kinds of coincidences make me believe it."

The hanged ghost silently lowered his head when he heard his words.Thinking about it, the mood should be very complicated.

"At that time, there were many people who pursued Kong Ting. Many young men surpassed me in appearance, status, and knowledge. But she fell in love with me and would not marry unless I was the one. After we met, I asked Kong Ting's date of birth. , I was surprised to find that she was born on the same day that man changed my life! I remembered what the man said at that time. He said that after the change of fate, the fate of many related people will also change. Maybe Kong Ting is Because of this change of fate, the time of birth was changed."

"Wait a minute!" I suddenly thought of a question: "That man didn't let you harm the Kong family, and Kong Ting is your nobleman, you want to rely on General Kong to make a fortune, why do you want to harm the Kong family? Isn't this breaking your own way?" ?”

Fu Qingcheng said: "I am in love with Kong Ting, but that old ghost surnamed Kong looks down on me, thinks I am not good enough for his daughter, is demanding on me, and always sneers when he talks. At first I could bear it, but Later, I became more and more unbearable. In addition, the man who changed my life said that the fate will be changed according to my own behavior. At that time, I was attached to the Kong family. If the old man didn’t like me, I would immediately change. Return to the poor life before."

"I started to feel anxious. Sometimes when I woke up in the middle of the night and looked at my wife next to my pillow, I would also think that this woman was someone else's wife and didn't belong to me at all. When I thought about it this way, my heart was empty. I made a mistake and was scolded by the old man Kong for not being able to live up to it. I suddenly realized that I can no longer be attached to the Kong family like this. I saw the letter in the old man's study by accident, and immediately understood, and I quickly climbed up, and there was only one way for me to go."

Yan Wang asked: "So you cheated on Xiaohong, the maid in the study, and brought down the Kong family through informants? Have you ever met the person who changed your life for you?"

Fu Qingcheng trembled, and said: "I've seen... After Kong Ting's death, I became murderous towards Xiaohong, and went to the pharmacy I knew to get poison. After getting the medicine from the back hall, I saw that man sitting in the pharmacy. , I recognized that man immediately. It has been more than ten years, but that man is not old at all, sitting there calmly as if waiting for me. "

"I quickly pulled over the pharmacy clerk to ask when this man came, but the clerk didn't know. Then the man called out, 'Leng Baoyuan.' I was stunned for a moment, and moved away from the shop in fear and panic. I am afraid that he will know my plan, that he will expose me to destroy everything now, and even want to kill him for a moment! But as soon as I thought about it, the man's gaze was full of With a mocking smile, he said, "Don't worry, I won't stop you from doing anything, I'm just here to help you." At that time, I was not as innocent as a six-year-old child, and asked vigilantly, " Why do you help me like this? Do you have a grudge against the Kong family?' The man smiled and said, "Everyone in this world, including the Kong family and you, has nothing to do with me whether they live or die. It's just that I want to do it now." It just happens to be beneficial to you, but harmful to them.” I don’t know why, but just listening to him, I feel that he is omnipotent, omniscient, and really doesn’t care about the affairs of ordinary people in this world.”

Yama asked, "What did he tell you this time?"

Fu Qingcheng said: "He said he did something wrong, and now the real Leng Baoyuan is using my life, but this fate will change if life is changed. If one day I want to change my life back, I will go to the place where the corpse was buried Cut the thread on the little finger of the corpse. After finishing speaking, the man left. Later, my plan went smoothly, and I also got an official position in the army. My poor life! But I didn’t expect that the party I messed with was defeated in the war not long after the prosperity. I fled around with the money I found, and when I was almost in a desperate situation, I remembered what the man said.”

"At that time, I had nowhere to go, so I found the back mountain where the body was buried, dug up the soil, and there was a note inside, which said two things: First, it said that when I was more than 90 years old, I will receive retribution for what I have done. The second is that if I go to the Hall of the King of Hades, I must never tell what he helped me change my life, otherwise I will suffer more. After I read it, I will pick up the corpse And cut off the rope above, and then buried the treasure with me in a hidden place. After that, I went down the mountain and returned to the original village. A catastrophe happened, but I survived as a poor and lower-middle peasant. After that, I made a fortune relying on those treasures and lived the life I have now. But although I am already rich and powerful, Every day, I dreamed that the father and daughter of the Kong family were taking their lives. After that, I went to the eminent monk and asked for the white jade finger to ward off evil, but I didn’t expect that I still didn’t escape the catastrophe.”

I asked: "Isn't Fu Qingcheng poor? How could he be so rich?"

San Niang said: "So many things happened before, so his fate has also changed."

Fu Qingcheng knelt on the ground and kowtowed: "This is what happened, please learn from me!"

The hanged ghost kept her head down and didn't speak. I thought she knew the truth of the matter, and she must be feeling uncomfortable. She comforted her and said, "It's okay if you want to open it up."

The hanged ghost raised his head, looked at me in confusion, and said, "Huh?"

I said, "What were you thinking when you listened to him?"

"I'm thinking about what he's talking about." The hanged ghost said, "I understand."

I slipped on the soles of my feet and almost fell, then I opened my mouth to explain, Sanniang pulled the corner of my clothes and said in a low voice: "She has been in a daze for so many years, it is difficult for her to understand, it is better to let her do nothing Good to know." Then he turned his head, pointed at Fu Qingcheng and said to Kong Ting, "You don't need to delve into what he meant by that, as long as you know that man is a big bastard, a big bitch." Then asked softly: " do you understand?"

The hanged ghost nodded obediently: "Understood."

Sanniang stroked her head and said softly, "Good boy."

The hanged ghost shook his head lightly, with a look of enjoyment.I looked at Xin Qi, and reached out to touch her hair: "Good boy."

The hanged ghost flicked his head and hit my hand with his tongue.

Yo, Sanniang can touch it, but I can't.What's wrong!Anyway, she was also a human being like me when she was alive, and she practiced racial discrimination after her death!

The King of Yama said: "That man has such a great ability, who is he?" The King of Yama was silent for a while, and asked the judge next to him: "Is there such a person in the book of life and death?"

The judge flipped through the book of life and death and replied, "No."

"Is there such a ghost in our underworld?"

The judge shook his head: "No."

"Where are the gods in that world?"

"The subordinates are ignorant and ignorant, and have never heard of it."

"Yes, don't mention you, I have never heard of it." Hades said, "It's strange, who can transcend the Three Realms and have such a great ability to change fate?"

The King of Hades obviously glanced at us, and we were silent. If the King of Hades didn't know, no one else would know.

Finally, Yan Wang's eyes fell on Fu Qingcheng again.The latter immediately prostrated himself on the ground and shouted: "Your Excellency, the villain has already told everything, and there is nothing to hide. The villain really doesn't know who that person is."

Yan Wang nodded, slapped the wood to wake up, and concluded the case: "Fu Qingcheng, a trickster! Changing the destiny without authorization, seeking wealth and killing life, and acting recklessly! You are now sentenced to 4000 years in prison!"

Fu Qingcheng said in surprise: "Didn't it say 100 years before, how did it become 4000 years?!"

The judge said: "How can this be the same? The punishment for changing fate is much more severe than killing someone!"

Fu Qingcheng sat on the ground blankly, and murmured: "He said that I would suffer if he confessed. I thought he was trying to cover up himself, but I didn't expect it to be true!"

A deep voice came from the darkness: "Yan Wang has commuted your sentence."

I saw that Bai Wuchang's mouth didn't move, so the invisible person who spoke should be Hei Wuchang.

Fu Qingcheng heaved a sigh of relief, obviously relieved a lot, and asked, "How many years should I serve in prison?"

Hades replied: "Four thousand and one years."

Several ghost messengers came to pull Fu Qingcheng, and Fu Qingcheng struggled and shouted: "Master, didn't you say that you will be lenient for confessing!? Didn't you say that you can reduce your sentence!?" Far away, only the echo echoed in the hall.

The echo keeps repeating: "Is it... is it... is it... is it..."

"Bold, to curse people in court!" Yama patted Jingmu, and said loudly: "Disturb the court, add another 500 years!"

Fu Qingcheng's voice came from afar: "I love you uncle!"

Don Xiangwang said: "This person is finished. If he didn't scold him before, he will add 500 years. Isn't this scolding will add 2000 years?"

Who knew that Yan Wang said without changing his face: "minus 100 years."

We were all puzzled.

"Don't you know?" Bai Wuchang said in a sharp voice, "Yan Wang has a very bad relationship with his uncle, and he really hates his uncle."

Hades coughed, and turned to look at Kong's family: "As for you, go to Mirror Hell to take photos, those who are guilty go to atone for their sins, and those who are innocent go to wait in line for reincarnation."

The ghost messenger came and pressed all the ghosts of the Kong family to go away. These ghosts were terrified of what happened just now, and they all followed obediently.Only Kong Ting was shocked when she saw the ghost messenger dragging others to Mingjing Hell, she looked at us as if asking for help, and said, "I miss Hui's house..."

She looks really pitiful like this, and I almost feel soft-hearted, but it's not a problem if she is not reincarnated and hangs around the room with her big tongue.I sighed and said, "Go and look in the mirror, you didn't do anything bad during your lifetime, so you should be able to reincarnate soon."

After hearing this, the Hanged Ghost followed suit, still turning around every step of the way.

Gou Fugui sighed: "It's not easy for a lesbian. Now the underworld is full of ghosts waiting to be reincarnated. I don't know how many years it will be when it's her turn."

I said, "It's over, she's too honest, I should remind her to let her jump in line!"

The judge said loudly: "Followers, pay attention to your quality!"

Yama raised his hand, stopped the judge, and asked me in a kind tone: "Is it horsepower?"

When I heard why it was my turn to ask again, I immediately nodded and shouted: "Yes!"

Yan Wang nodded in satisfaction and said, "I have read the previous report. You are a descendant of Taoist Ma and an apprentice of Master Zhang. You must be good at Taoism, right?"

Being praised by the head of the underworld, I was so beautiful in my heart, and replied: "Actually, I am a cultural worker. I like to post my carefully designed works in public places for free viewing."

Yan Wang praised: "It turned out to be an artist."

I happily said: "Don't dare to do it, don't dare to do it."

The judge flipped through the book of life and death, and said to Hades, "He is a small advertisement."

Yan Wang exclaimed: "Able to write and use martial arts, compound talents."

This Hades eyesight is too good!As expected of the chief!

The king of hell said again: "The Taoism is so good and both civil and military, then you must do this."

I was already in high spirits, and said: "If you have anything to say, you can wrap it with me!"

The King of Hades said: "Since you discovered this and the mysterious man is in the Yang Realm, then I will designate you as a special envoy of the Yin Realm and send you to investigate his identity." He lowered his voice and said, "Since that man His magic power is not inferior to yours, this king will give you a special case, allowing you to kill him if necessary!"

Just as I was about to say yes, I suddenly felt something was wrong, and when I figured it out again, I was completely stunned.I picked my ears and asked carefully: "Comrade Chief, what are you talking about? I didn't understand."

Hades said, "I will make you the special envoy of the underworld."

I said, "Not this sentence, but the next sentence?"

Yan Wang said: "This king gives you the privilege to kill him if necessary."

"Comrade Chief." The smile on my face froze, and I asked, "Did I kill him in this 'killing'? Or did he kill me?"

"That's right, you're very humorous!" Yan Wang laughed loudly, very happy: "You are a young talent in horsepower, a hero among men, of course you killed him."

Hey, this old boy is talking nonsense with his eyes open!That person has transcended the Three Realms and changed his fate. Even the King of Hades might not be able to fight him. Tell me to fight him?I'm so angry, if it wasn't for the Hades being stronger than me, I wouldn't be able to beat him, I would definitely go up and beat him now!

I said, "Chief, this matter is serious. I think a meeting should be held to discuss it. I'm afraid I can't afford it. Don't worry about it."

"What are you discussing? No need to discuss!" Yan Wang waved his hand, and said boldly: "This king has always been suspicious of employing people, and I don't need to be suspicious of people!" Then Yan Wang looked at the other ghost servants: "Is anyone suspicious?"

I was very happy to watch the ghosts whispering suspiciously.

The King of Hades said: "Those who doubt stand up and go instead of horsepower!"

The ghost messengers straightened their backs and said in unison: "We believe in horsepower!"

Hades nodded, and said to me solemnly: "On behalf of the entire hell government, I believe in you!"

I scolded my mother in my heart: "I still have difficulties."

Yama said: "Difficulties are not a problem. If there are difficulties, overcome them."

Why don't you overcome it? I was about to open my mouth, but Don't forget to grab me, and said in the tone of someone who has experienced it: "Don't argue, the job of the leader is to assign tasks, and how to complete the tasks is beyond their scope of thinking."

I said, "Isn't this forcing me to die?"

The judge said: "Don't worry about this, since you are the messenger of our underworld, we will definitely give you corresponding benefits."

My eyes lit up: "Give me an immortal body?"

The judge said: "Human life and death cannot transcend time, this is not acceptable. But we will not let you die badly, but we will let you die happily, comfortably, and smoothly."

Well, I finally figured it out, what kind of "Messenger of the Underworld" is that, it is simply the "Dead of the Underworld"!Let the hanged ghost say these four words are the most appropriate.

My heart became angry for no reason, and I supported my waist and shouted: "I don't..."

Before the dry words could be uttered, Gou Fugui covered his mouth, and Gou Fugui smiled and said to Hades, "He knows."

Bai Wuchang said in a shrill voice next to him: "Stupid, want to contradict Hades? Don't look at him pretending to be a ghost, but in fact he is narrow-minded and holds grudges. Now he has made it clear that this matter is too serious, and the underworld is too involved. In the future, it will not be easy to justify it after the investigation, and find the dead ghost to shirk responsibility. He named you to bear the blame, but you don’t bear it? Do you want to stay in hell for thousands of years after death?"

Heiwuchang said in a low voice: "Lord Yama has been the leader of hell for thousands of years, and he has reached a certain level. You are an unlucky ghost who bumped into this place. Recognize it. Don't make him angry. It's not good for you." !"

What they said to me was very awkward. I couldn't tell whether they were helping me or scolding me, but I'm sure Hades would not be happy to hear these words.

Don't forget to see the strangeness and said: "Black and white impermanence has always talked like this. But they are famous in the world and heaven, and they have many fans, so the King of Hades can't do anything to them."

Gou Fugui whispered to me: "Comrade Lei Feng, don't be in such a hurry. There are policies and countermeasures. You agree first, and you and I will slowly find a way."

(End of this chapter)