Funny: The Hilarious Life of a Wasted Taoist 1

Chapter 32 Countdown (3)
The expression on the man's head was very serious, he thought for a while seriously, and asked: "So the one who talked to you just now is also a person?"

I didn't expect him to say such a sentence suddenly, saying: "It's hard to say, maybe it's a monster. On the Internet, through the network cable, even if you are a dog, no one will know."

The man nodded again, looking worriedly at the computer as if he had something to say but couldn't say it.

I think primitive people who see high technology are more or less afraid of these things, but men’s heads have been kept abroad, so they must have seen this thing, but when I think about it again, it’s wrong again. The man's head was already here at the time, and the hanged ghost has been dead for more than 50 years. When did the man's head stay in the ocean?

So I asked the man's head: "When did you stay in school?"

The man nodded vaguely, "It's been a long time."

My intuition tells me that there is something tricky about it. These days, celebrities can falsify their academic qualifications, let alone him alone.But now that woman's head is gone, his status as a sea turtle can't fool others.

Although the man didn't want to talk about studying abroad, he looked embarrassed when I asked him, but he didn't leave, he was still staring at the computer worriedly.

I saw that he was still not used to high technology, so I explained it to him in detail. As a result, the more the man's head listened to my explanation, the happier he was. In the end, he said that he would write a eulogy about the woman's head, and asked me to post it on the Internet so that more Some people saw the deeds of the woman's head, so I helped him send a post to the Internet.

The man's head gave himself an online name of "Lonely Head", and then asked Yunmei to take a photo of his head with his mobile phone.Yunmei has a foundation in painting, and the angle of the photo is very hazy. The man's head is tilted at 45 degrees and looking at the sky at a melancholy angle.

The post on the man's head reads:
"My love is a beautiful human head
She lives in the refrigerator, which emits a pungent stench.

I love the bone on her right cheek and the rotten flesh on her left cheek
But finally one day

she rots
The soul is taken away by ghosts

oh my baby
I miss you"

Judging from this poem, the man's head is a realist. I posted this passage to a poetry forum, and told him that if someone saw it, he would reply.

As a result, the man's head was missed, and he came to me in the early morning of the next day to read the reply.

I yawned and got up to turn on the computer, and I was shocked when I saw the reply.

There were so many replies to that post that even the moderators of the poetry forum were alarmed.

Everyone downstairs called the poem by the man's head a masterpiece.

One of the replies said: "This poem is a combination of Chinese and Western, with witty words. In just a few lines, it combines elements of romance, magic, horror, thriller, mythology, etc. It is full of post-modern fashion sense, fully expressing The talent of the poet. Looking at the poster's head portrait, he fits perfectly with the poster's poem, which makes people feel like they are on the scene. Moreover, although the head portrait is just a human head, there is no trace of PS at all, which is really high Man! Good! Wonderful!"

This kind of realistic poetry was regarded as a magical masterpiece. I was under a lot of pressure, but when I turned my head, I saw that the man's head had been crushed by sugar-coated cannonballs, and I burst into tears with emotion. Sure enough, the Internet is better, and there are so many bosom friends.

Their world is too deep for me to enter, so I opened "Button" casually.

As soon as I opened it, I heard two beeps, and a dialog box popped up, with a huge "three" written on it in the largest font.

I looked up and saw the profile picture of the person who posted the "three".

Two bloody eyeballs on a black background.

I see this picture is very familiar, I personally dragged it to the blacklist yesterday.

The man leaned over and asked, "What's the matter?" I quickly waved and said, "It's okay, it's okay." While talking, the man's head had already seen the three characters on the computer, and he was stunned for a while.

Pixiu asked, "Did you delete it yesterday?"

Unexpectedly, this mythical beast also knows computers, knowing that I have brought it into the blacklist and deleted it.

I said: "'Kuukou' is such a virtue, maybe the network delay has not been deleted."

After finishing speaking, I deleted that person again. This time I checked it several times, and logged in to "Koukou" several times. I was relieved when I saw that the name was indeed gone, and asked the man next to me: "How is it?" , do you feel better after seeing so many replies?"

I asked several times but didn't hear an answer. I turned my head and saw the man looking at my monitor with a very strange expression on his face.

"Hello!" I said, "Hello?"

The man's head was just like waking up from a dream. He stared blankly at the computer screen, then looked at me, smiled dryly, and said, "The day before yesterday was five, yesterday was four, today is three, so will it be two tomorrow? "

His smile was uglier than crying, so I asked, "You say this is the countdown?"

The man didn't answer my question, and asked again: "Horsepower, do you have any friends here?"

I said, "Of course there is."

The man said: "Then you go to your friend's house to stay for two days, no..." He thought for a while and said, "At least four days and then come back."

I said, "What is this for?"

The man said, "Go out and relax."

I said: "Hey, it's weird, it's you who fell out of love, not me, why should I let go when I'm fine?"

"Hey...forget it, anyway..." The man looked at me and shook his head, muttered something in a low voice, turned his head and walked through the wall.

Ever since the woman's head died, he has been acting weird, especially just now, when he talked to me like a normal person, very abnormal.

I don't know if it's because people who are broken in love are always talking like this.

It's just early in the morning, the best time to put up small advertisements. I picked up the bag containing the paste and paper and got ready to go out to work.

Usually this time is when the first bus arrives, but I waited at the bus station for a long time, but the bus still didn't come.

I stretched my head out to forget, only to see a vast expanse of whiteness in the distance.

It's getting foggy?
I have grown up in this city, and I have never seen such a big fog. Even if I go out by bicycle in this weather, it is not safe.So I came back with my things and stayed in the room for a whole day playing Lianliankan.

Because I am a motivated young man who loves work, during the interval of playing games, I look up from time to time to take a look outside, and the fog outside has not cleared.

At night, I heard someone coming back from outside. I went out to see that it was Yunmei and Sanniang. The former was going to work, and the latter was going shopping. The two walked in the door talking and laughing.

I said, "How dare you go out in a car in such a thick fog?"

Yun Mei was stunned: "Fog? How can there be any fog?"

I looked outside, the sky was full of colorful clouds, and there was no trace of fog at all.

Strange, my eyes are dazzled all day?

I wondered if I had been working too hard recently and had hallucinations, so I went to bed after dinner.

After sleeping until morning, I got up and was about to go out to work with my things, Pixiu suddenly said: "You turn on the computer and look at 'Kukou'."

When he said this, he immediately reminded me that the person who was deleted the day before yesterday was still there yesterday, so if he was deleted yesterday, he should not be here today.

After a moment of silence, there was the sound of Didi clicking on the message, and then a dialog box popped up.

There is a number "two" written on it.

The avatar who sent the message was a bloody eye, staring straight at me.

I felt hairy and said, "It's over, I'm being targeted."

Pixiu said, "Do you know who this person is?"

I said, "Needless to say, this must be the legendary hacker."

Pixiu stopped talking.

I said: "This hacker must have hacked my computer, so he can control my 'Koukou'. You can tell by his profile picture. The background of his profile picture is black, which means he is a hacker."

Pixiu asked: "Then what does the countdown mean?"

"It may be that he will destroy my computer when the electricity is on. You haven't watched movies or cartoons. Some perverts like to post a preview before committing a crime to show their pervert." I said, "It's over, my computer still has There are tens of gigabytes of inventory, all of which are extinct high-definition rare objects that I have painstakingly collected. I have to make a disk quickly! I understand, why are the eyes on the head portrait bloody? That is to say, if I really If something on the computer is deleted, I will have red eyes anxiously!"

Pixiu got angry and scolded: "As a Taoist priest, don't you think about your job?"

"This is the thinking of a normal person." I held my head and said, "Can't you stop reminding me? Why do I encounter dirty things all the time?"

"..." Pai Yao paused, and asked, "Did you hear what the head said when he left yesterday?"

I asked, "What did he say?"

Pixiu said: "He said, 'Forget it, anyway, you can't escape now'."

Hearing Pixiu's words, I was shocked.

I had long thought that the man's head should know something, but I didn't expect him to say such terrifying words, so I hurried out of the room and shouted: "Human head, human head, come out for me."

As soon as he left the room, he saw Wang Liang coming over at some time, sitting at the table and making out with the hanged ghost.

I glanced at the calendar, today is the weekend, no wonder Wang Liang is free to come and sit with the hanged ghost to study how many shapes can be folded with the tongue.

People say that the IQ of creatures in love is zero, and this is well reflected in them. Now even Reddy Gaga looks at them with contempt.

But their IQs are lowered, but my IQ still maintains a height that is difficult for ordinary people to reach.

As soon as I saw Wang Liang, I felt like a mirror in my heart. I slapped my thigh and said, "So that's how it is!"

I said, why is the head portrait with eyeballs so familiar? The first time I saw it was in Wang Liang's office!

At that time the number was 27, and he also told me that this avatar could not be deleted in MSN.

It turned out that he was the source of the disaster, and he might have infected me with this thing.

Thinking of this, I asked Wang Liang: "Wang Liang, do you still remember the person on your MSN who wrote 'dead' in his signature?"

Wang Liang thought for a while and said, "Ah, the one who counts down every day, that person insists on counting down every day, and now he has counted to two."

I asked, "Is he still there?"

"It's still there." Wang Liang said, "I thought it was scary at first, but then I saw him just counting every day without doing anything, so I guessed whether he was a robot made by MSN, probably because of the countdown to the event, so I didn't care anymore. it."

As soon as he finished speaking, he saw a gust of hot wind blowing in, the refrigerator door slammed open, and the man's head flew out of the refrigerator, fixed in front of Wang Liang and asked, "Did you see that too?"

Wang Liang was taken aback, nodded and said, "Yes."

The man nodded and said, "It seems...it seems...it's really the same as last time..."

When I saw him talking like this, I became impatient and said, "Like what? You tell me clearly, if you don't explain clearly, I will kick you out like a ball."

The man smiled bitterly and said, "Now I'm afraid that if you want me to go out, there is no way for me to go out."

I asked: "What do you mean?"

The man nodded and said, "Go out and try to see if you can go far."

Wang Liang and I were already skeptical, but when we heard what he said, we looked at each other, and we immediately got up and walked out of the room.

After leaving the small second floor, the scenery outside was no different from usual. I took two steps outside the door, turned around and said to the man at the door, "Can't this come out?"

The man's head said again: "You go to the distance."

I walked forward for a few meters, but there was still nothing unusual. I looked back at the man's head and was about to speak, but saw that the man's face was serious, and he didn't seem to be joking, so I walked a few steps further away.

I didn't see anything unusual at first, but after walking for a while, I found something was wrong.

The scenery in the distance is like fog, gradually becoming hazy. Obviously, the closer I go, the clearer the scenery, but the actual situation is that the more I walk, the more blurred the scenery, as if covered by a layer of fog. In the end, the fog became thicker and thicker, and I couldn't even see the scenery around me, and it was all white fog as far as I could see.

Don't talk about going forward now, I can't even tell the difference between southeast and north.

I could still vaguely see the small second floor behind me, so I hurried back along the original road.

Looking at Wang Liang who was walking in a different direction from me, he also came back with a look of horror, and asked, "What's going on? Why is there such a heavy fog?"

"The weather is unscientific." I also said, "How can there be such a heavy fog in such a dry day?"

The man sighed and said, "Now you know, right? You can't get out anymore."

Hearing him say that, I said, "Why are you so clear?"

The man's head said: "I have stayed here for more than 100 years just to wait for this moment."

I asked, "More than 100 years? Did you study abroad so early?"

"Actually, I've never been abroad." The man said embarrassingly, "But we are all men, so you have to know that for the sake of love, men will more or less brag to show off."

I said: "Nonsense, I never brag!"

Wang Liang said: "I've always heard you and Sanniang Yunmei say that they are young and promising, handsome and unrestrained."

I asked back: "Look at me, can that be called bragging?"

Wang Liang looked at me carefully and said, "Yes, it can't be called bragging, it should be called lying!"

I said angrily, "That's the truth!" Then I turned around and asked the man, "What are you waiting for?"

"It's a long story. Although I'm bragging, the cause of the matter has a lot to do with studying abroad." The man said, "My real name is Guan Xing, and my family makes a living by farming. I am the eldest in the family. There are three One younger sister and two younger brothers, the youngest younger brother is named Guan Wu. I sent him to study. The teacher at that time thought highly of my younger brother, saying that he was talented and intelligent, and he would become a great weapon in the future. My younger brother is handsome and smart. Everyone I know said that he will be great in the future. Waiting for him to take part in the imperial examination and get a good name to honor his ancestors." The man said with a proud look on his face, it seemed that he was very proud of his younger brother.But now I am anxious to know the truth of the matter, so I have to interrupt him: "Get to the point."

The man said dissatisfiedly: "What I said is the main point, you have to listen carefully? You know?"

I said: "I know, I know, what happened to your brother?"

The man sighed and said: "I don't remember very clearly. It seems that the year was the 11th year of Tongzhi. The imperial court suddenly ordered that young children from all over the country should be selected to study abroad. If they were placed with us, my younger brother was selected. .”

I said, "People study abroad at public expense, and your family is taking advantage of it."

"You don't know about that." The male head said, "If you really think it's a good thing, those high-ranking officials would have gone away long ago. How could it be our turn to ordinary people? Those foreign devils look different from us, with hair color and eyeballs. The color is the same as that of colored stones. We all say that these foreign devils are all monsters, and some people say that they eat people's hearts and drink human blood secretly, so they look different from us. Going to sacrifice those monsters, the child will not come back after leaving, and the teacher said that the place will last for 15 years, and you have to sign a life and death contract. The court will not be responsible for life or death within 15 years. My brother was only 15 at the time. When he was elected, the whole family gathered together and cried for a few days, thinking that he would not live long."

I said, "That was when the conditions were closed. If you really study abroad, you must be well-off when you come back."

"At that time, candidates were selected from all over the country, and then they were selected for the top." The man's head said, "Our family originally counted on my younger brother to be the number one scholar in the imperial examination high school. Said to send my brother off for the last time."

"On the fifth day after we left, we came to this house." The head of the man said, "That's when the nightmare started."

(End of this chapter)