College entrance examination full score composition classification Daquan

Chapter 18 Carving the Angel in My Heart (2)
A friend asked me: "This is not an era of hermitage, and why did you ever want to be a real hermit? Are all your ideals and aspirations going to be barren in that desert?"

No!I am not going to a lifeless place, I am taking my dreams to the land where vitality is buried, to the wider world to show my fists.

Who really understands my thoughts?In a piece of jade, who can really know the angel contained in it? !
I have dreamed of seeing the desert since I was a child. Although there may always be a sky full of yellow sand, what makes people yearn for is the vast land, the vast sky and the clear and transparent human mind.I often fantasize about being in the space between the sky and the earth: there is a little figure among the yellow everywhere.Under the reflection of the setting sun, my shadow was stretched very long, and a lonely but not lonely shadow appeared on the sand.In the distance, at the junction of the sky and the earth, the sand is covered with a golden coat, like a burly warrior returning from an expedition.I yelled loudly to the sky and the ground: "Desert, I'm here to see you!" Here, there is no echo hovering in the valley, but that voice always lingers in my ears and my heart.

I never mentioned this image to anyone.Some people will think that I am a typical romantic who cannot see the reality of existence, but in my eyes, it is so exciting.

In fact, many young volunteers have joined the construction team of the Northwest. Why?When such a thing really happened around me, how could people not understand it?Could it be that the praises of those people in the past were just sung for others to hear?
Friends, really don't have to persuade me anymore.Even if you understand it, it doesn’t matter if you don’t.

Going to the Northwest is a mysterious and fascinating idea. How can I let my heart be barren?Don't worry, after a few years, when I come back from the prosperous land, I will tell you with my heart: How I used my heart to carve a wonderful self, where I will deduce A life that amazes everyone!
score review
The article is very accurate on the topic, and the topic is also very close. It can be said that I really understand the meaning of the topic "sculpting the angel in my heart".Due to the lofty and lofty ideals of this candidate, the conception of this article is profound and novel.It is difficult to achieve this state without the usual deliberation and unique broad-mindedness.

carve your own angel

(Candidate [-] from Guangdong)

We should restrain our desire to dominate and stop trying to carve others into our image.

The first who compares women to flowers is a genius, the second to compare women to flowers is a mediocrity, and the third to compare women to flowers is a fool.Appropriate.If people's thoughts were all so square, then our world would no longer be colorful.

Just like in love songs, there is "Love Song Prince" Zhang Xinzhe's lingering "Love is like a tide", there is also "Su-style love song" classic Su Yongkang's sadness of "It's so hard to love someone"; , There is also the meaningfulness of "Prodigal Singer" Qi Qin "About Winter".Without the edges and corners of thought, there will be no diversity of personality, and without diversity of personality, there will be no self, and art will have no vitality.

Don't let your thoughts be covered by other people's words, and don't let your personality be pruned by others' thoughts.

Without the insolent personalities of Su Shi and Xin Qiji, there would be no peerless spirit of the bold and unrestrained school of "Going to the east" and "Looking northwest, shooting Sirius"; " and "People are thinner than yellow flowers" sing and sigh three times.

From Pushkin's surging "To the Sea" to Bing Xin's "Spring Water" full of maternal love, innocence and nature; from Wen Yiduo's long aftertaste "Red Candle" to Shu Ting's subtle and profound "To the Oak Tree".There are thousands of green coins, and the shampoo floats up, and the smell is as if there is nothing, and it is indistinct, vague, and it is fascinating.This is the publicity from one thought to another, from one personality to another. The edges and corners of their thoughts are shining with scorching light.

Because of the edges and corners of thinking, we have a spring of "boundless scenery and a new moment" where all things are awakened and full of vitality; because of the edges and corners of thoughts, we have a summer of "I'm listening to Xuan Chan today but I will return" with sunshine and skirts fluttering. ;Because of the edges and corners of thinking, we have the autumn of "the frosty leaves are red in February flowers" with colorful falling flowers and independent cold autumn; because of the edges and corners of thinking, we have the winter of "thousands of trees and pear blossoms".

Tagore said: "Don't step on my mind." I said: "Don't modify my personality."

This world needs the spirit of "an old man talking about being a teenager" and the indignation of "I only hope the child is stupid and reckless"; "The detached and open-mindedness requires a peerless youth of "the young man listens to the rain song upstairs, and the red candle dims the tent".

The edges and corners of thought are the sprouting of personality. Don't let the edges and corners of your own thoughts be worn away by others' thoughts, and stick to your own unique light.

score review
The point of view of the article is very novel and unique.What the article wants to express is to publicize everyone's personality and highlight the edges and corners of thought.Candidates are able to travel across ancient and modern times, gallop at home and abroad, think for thousands of years, and see thousands of miles, interpreting human personality in a vivid, concrete, popular and clear way.Among the many candidates' compositions, such a conception seems unique.The full text is closely related to the topic, the theme is novel, clear and profound, and the argumentation process can be well-founded.The rhetoric is flexible and precise, the sentence patterns are varied and changeable, and the language is vivid and beautiful.

look at the face of the angel

(Candidate [-] from Guangdong)

When I was young, my mother said that I was a child obsessed with words.

When I couldn't hold a pen, I gently stroked the words on the pages with my little hands, feeling a sense of awe in my heart.

"Mom, I saw an angel singing in the words." I looked up at my mother.

"Stupid child, how can there be an angel in the word?" Mom patted my little forehead.

"The angel is hiding inside so that my mother can't see it. I want to find her out." So, I quickly learned to hold a pen and write.

I stubbornly felt that as long as I could write, the angel in my heart would appear and fly to my mother and me.Therefore, I was very serious and worked hard, holding a pencil, from horizontal and vertical strokes to crooked square characters, to making sentences and writing articles.

And the angel became clear day by day with the dancing of my pen. I carefully used the pen and words to make her more real...

When I was in elementary school, I really loved composition!Every time I go to composition class, I don’t desert my deskmate any more. I take a pen and write my dream full of childlike innocence on the green graph paper to my heart’s content.I firmly believe that the angel must grow up with me in those small words.The words I wrote at that time, although naive, were often praised by teachers, and I was also rewarded by reciting in class or extra writing tutoring.

You see, you see, the faces of angels are emerging, in my primary school composition, in my children's joy...

When I went to middle school, as I became more fond of literary works, I became more determined to love writing, and I also saw the angel in my heart faintly appearing between the lines...

I started to submit manuscripts, but every time I sent out manuscripts, there was no news.My dream of writing began to falter, coupled with growing pains and setbacks in life, I complained about the injustice of my fate and my life, so I stopped writing with a pen and never recovered.

That day I saw a sculptor carving stones into beautiful angels on TV. At that moment, I was shocked like never before: the pen in my hand is the sculptor's carving knife, and I should also use the pen to "carve angels." "Knife", carve out the angel in my heart - my dream, my pursuit of life.

Look, look, the face of the angel is clear again...

I picked up the pen again, swayed my passion, and described my ideal.The sunshine of life also began to cast a new smile on me.

The words I write are more mature and rational, my works are gradually published, and my love for life is also increasing day by day...

On this day, I held the manuscript acceptance notice and the printed article, and hugged my mother with a smile: "Mom, I carved an angel! Look, look, the face of an angel!"

"You silly kid who's obsessed with words."

Time flies, I never tire of writing, a cup of tea, a night light, and then compose a three-dimensional beautiful essay.

My dreams are immortal, my heart is endless, let the angels sing along with my ideals and beliefs in the words.

score review
This is an excellent narrative essay.The author compares his pursuit of writing to "sculpting the angel in his heart", which fits the meaning of the title.The article echoes from the beginning to the end, and the expression is clear; the structure is compact and well-proportioned, and the title cleverly uses lyrics, which is also very distinctive.

greatest artist
(Candidate [-] from Guangdong)

In my mind as a son, my mother is the greatest artist.It is a great mother who carves her son into an angel in her heart.

Many years ago, on that sweltering afternoon, my mother endured incomparable pain and brought me into the world.Seeing the little me, my mother's bitter face became sweet, and the joy of being a mother made her forget the pain on her body, and she shed tears of joy and emotion-this is what my father told me.I know that my mother has become an artist since that day, and she firmly believes in my heart that there is a rough jade in this little rock.She wants to be a sculptor and carve me into the most beautiful angel in her heart.

My mother worked very hard and worked very hard, hoping to provide me with a comfortable living environment materially; my mother also studied diligently, hoping to help me in my studies.No matter how tired and busy she was, my mother took time to talk to me every night to see if the little stone in her heart was troubled and whether she was happy or not.My mother will drive away my troubles with a loving heart and peaceful words, and share my happiness with laughter and romance—just like a sculptor who carves one knife at a time, cutting off the bad parts and making the good ones forming.

What my mother values ​​most is cultivating my moral character and personality.My mother often said this: "If you can't read well, you can make up for it with hard work; if you are not tall or beautiful, you can make up for it with sincerity and sincerity; but if your heart is dirty, there is nothing to make up for it. The heart must Purity, you must make your character noble, so that you can be regarded as a real person.” My mother did so when she said this, and she taught me since childhood to know how to treat others with sincerity and be strict with myself.To the elders, we must be respectful; to our peers, we must love each other as equals and be willing to help others; to our children, we must know how to protect them, care for them, and fulfill the responsibility of an older brother.I have not forgotten my mother's earnest teachings, and I have always demanded myself in this way in my life, so that my popularity has never been bad.My elders praised me for being polite, my friends said that I was lucky to have a friend like me, and children were happy to get along with me.It was my mother's persistence that gave me a head, limbs, and five senses. This is a real person, a real good person, reflected in spirit and character.

Many aunts felt that their children were naughty and did not learn well, so they came to ask my mother why I was so obedient and convinced my mother.The mother smiled softly: "I didn't do anything, I just taught my son to be himself." The aunts were puzzled. "I just let him learn to be his original self. 'At the beginning of human beings, nature is good'. Isn't it a kind person to insist on being the original self?" My mother said, "But I have to teach him by the side. , constantly honed him like a carved stone, and made him a better person. I didn't completely limit his life path according to my own wishes, I let him play and choose by himself, and let him grow according to his own ideals ..."

That's how my mother turned the beautiful angel in her heart into who I am today—it should be said that she sculpted me into what I am today.

The great artist is now in middle age, and can no longer continue to carve hard stone with a knife.But my mother confidently thinks that it is unnecessary. The greatest work in her heart-me, has grown into a real person and a real good person, so she doesn't need to worry about it anymore.She would be proud of me and I would be proud of her.Without her, how could I be where I am today?I love her……

In fact, every mother is a great artist; it is the angels in their hearts that make their children grow up.

score review
This is a self-reported essay.The "I" in the article is a young man who "the elders praised me for being polite, and my friends said that I was lucky enough to make friends with me, and children like to get along with me". How did such a character come into being?It was my mother who sculpted "I" knife by knife. My mother is the "greatest artist" in the mind of "I", and she has worked hard to carve the angel in her mind.The unconventional idea is the biggest feature of this article.

(End of this chapter)