Engraved crush time

Chapter 25 The Last Time
Wang Xinrui fulfilled her promise.This is what she said on the phone. She said: "Miss Jiang Hui, I have stopped operating in the milk tea shop. We will leave Zhengzhou in a few days."

I understand what she means. She is telling me that she, as well as Tang Qiming, will walk out of my life soon.From now on, we may never see each other again, forget each other, and live our own lives.Maybe, before long, we'll all get used to living without each other.

Life is always like this.It always uses one kind of blank to fill up another kind of blank, and in the end, the ability to live becomes a blank.We are used to this kind of blankness, and we are also used to repeating day after day, waking up, brushing our teeth, eating, walking through the noise of people coming and going, and living a life without waves.Sometimes, we even forget the meaning of our life, it is no longer for a certain person, or a certain ideal, because our life is only ourselves, this is a matter of time, facing the joys and sorrows of the world alone, Facing the emptiness and loneliness in my heart alone.

It's just that I didn't expect Tang Qiming to accept all of this quietly, and he even accepted everything when he was offered a deal.

Now, he lies in his room and sleeps all day.I know that most of the time he is not asleep, he is awake.But what he was thinking, I don't know.

Several times, I would stand at the door of his bedroom and talk to him.I asked him if he wanted something to eat, and I'll make it. Anything he wants is fine, and I'm willing to do it.But he ignores me.He just buried his head in the pillow, as if he was in deep sleep, although I also knew that he just didn't want to talk to me.

Because the exam was approaching, I didn't have the heart to ask about the milk tea shop, and I was bored in the room reading books all day long.I lost too much homework this semester, if I don't study hard, I will definitely fail the course.Sometimes when I get tired of reading, I play with my phone. Most of the time I try to call Xiao Jiayi. I look forward to his call, to tell me where he is, and to dust off everything. Sure, from now on, don't worry about it.

But the stiff voice is always repeated on the phone.So, I had to put down my phone and continue reading.The textbooks on economics are profound and difficult to understand. I often lose my mind unknowingly, with a lot of thoughts, as if my soul has escaped from my body.I don't even know what I'm thinking, I just feel that such a daze can also become an addictive dependence.

There was always a knock on the door around noon.At first, I was curious.Later, as soon as I heard the knock on the door, I knew it was the delivery man again.Of course, it must not be my name, but Tang Qiming.Only at this time, he would come out of the room, sign and pay, and then walk to the bedroom with the takeaway.

Only at this time can I see his unshaven appearance and his increasingly haggard figure.I tried to talk to him, but he ignored me, didn't look at me, and soon he disappeared from my sight.I was left alone in the living room, as if he had never been out at all.

I don't know how he got used to fast food day in and day out.I still vividly remember him telling me that he would not eat these things.But now, these things have all become his staple food. He faces the same food and the same taste every day. At the end of the meal, he has nothing but a gradually satisfying feeling of satiety.

I always call him when I prepare meals. I don't know what he likes to eat, but I just cook every dish to perfection.The hardships I suffered as a child were not in vain. I can skillfully cook kelp rib soup and cook various dishes.The smell of food floats out from the kitchen, I hope they can float across the living room and into Tang Qiming's room, I hope he can come out, sit at the dining table, and taste my cooking.

But he didn't, even if I went to call him, he didn't come out.

I know, he hates me, he's tired of me, he just avoids seeing me.

Therefore, in the end, I often face the dishes that have dissipated heat alone. The chopsticks and bowls collide with each other to make a crisp sound, and this sound is the only sound that accompanies me to finish every meal.

After two days like this, on the second night, I still couldn't help it.

"Tang Qiming, what exactly do you want?" I tried to keep my voice as calm as possible.

He was eating a hamburger, devouring it as if he had been hungry for a long time.

I suddenly felt sad, and my tears couldn't stop coming out, "What do you want to eat, can I make it for you, let's not eat these things, I know you don't like them at all." I walked into his bedroom , stopped the hamburger in his hand.

He pushed me away with so much force that I almost fell to the ground.He didn't say a word, just continued to eat his burger and ignored me.

"Tang Qiming!" I couldn't help crying, "Don't be like this, okay? Don't be like this, okay? I was wrong. You can beat me or scold me, but please, don't be like this."

He continued to chew his food and glanced sideways at me.

I clearly saw an indescribable undercurrent flickering in his eyes.

Is it hatred, or boredom, or contempt?I don't know, I just feel sad, sad that I caused all this with my own hands, sad that all the time is behind me, and I can't touch anything except tears.

"Please, Tang Qiming, please, don't do this again." I just cried, tears streaming down my face.

He ignored me and just ate his hamburger.

I don't know what to do.I could only beg him over and over again, but no matter what I said, he was indifferent.He finished his fast food, drank the Coke, and then lay down on the bed and continued to sleep.

From beginning to end, he never said a word to me.

I didn't expect him to be so tired of me.It never occurred to me how much harm I had done to him.Each of us is like this. We only care about where to go and how to go from our own point of view, and we let our own thoughts. We don't even think about how this will hurt others.

When I was about to walk out of his bedroom, he stopped me, "Jiang Hui," he said, "I don't blame you."

I was at a loss for a moment.

"I'm leaving the day after tomorrow." He breathed a sigh of relief, and I could see his curled up body twitching on the bed, "I have to face my parents, my family, and my escape An inescapable fate. It’s been a year, I haven’t been home for a year, I haven’t contacted them, I escaped the burden they placed on me. I thought I would be free in this life, live the life I want to live, and The people I like are together, but in the end, I still have to go back."

I waited for him to continue, but he didn't.

He lay silently on the bed.There was no light in the bedroom and he had drawn the curtains too tightly.I began to wonder if the outside world had completely darkened.

I reached out to turn on the light, but he stopped me, "Jiang Hui, don't...don't turn on the light."

His voice was hoarse, and I could hear clearly, "I'm sorry..." I said.

He sighed, "Jiang Hui, as I said, I don't blame you, this is my fate, and I don't blame you."

I didn't know what to say, so I walked over to his bed and sat down.I grabbed his hand and he put it behind his back, he dodged.

"Jiang Hui, do you still remember the scar on my arm? You always talk about it. In fact, this scar is indeed related to Wang Xinrui, or it is an indirect relationship, because I am not a lover. She hurts herself because she loves deeply, but in fact, I don’t love her, not at all.” He paused for a few seconds, “I never mentioned my family to you in front of you, that’s because it’s me The wound hidden in my heart. Who wants to expose their own scars? However, this scar is closely related to them. They forced me to cut my own wrists in exchange for my current life. It was a year The past. I seldom recall the past, because recalling happiness or pain is the past. What a person has to face is the future, the future, not the past. However, I am willing to recall the past for you. I’m afraid that in the future, I mean, after I leave, I will never have a chance to tell you.” He said, “A year ago, my father’s company had a problem with the order. I don’t know if it’s What's the problem? I always find economic issues complicated. Anyway, he lost a lot of money, and half of the company's shares are about to be acquired. You majored in economics, you should understand that half What does it mean that all the shares are acquired. That is to say, my father will see himself roll down from the position of chairman of the company, and hand over his company to others. This is a pair of nearly 50 years old It is absolutely unacceptable for a man who is [-] years old. How could he give up his career so hard to others so easily? So, he pinned his hopes on me."

"Jiang Hui, believe it or not, people are sometimes the most selfish creatures. Often, in order to achieve their own goals, they are even willing to 'sell' their own children. This has been the case in China since ancient times. The rich and powerful use their children Marriages are used to strengthen each other’s status, and poor people exchange the freedom of their children for the security of life. I thought these transactions had existed in ancient times, but I didn’t expect that as long as there are people, such transactions will be inevitable.”

His voice came faintly from the darkness, I couldn't see his face, but I could feel the broken despair.

"I think you can guess it. That's it," he said, "Wang Xinrui's father and my father are family friends. The difference is that my father relied on his own efforts to make the small company bigger. And Wang Xinrui's father relies on his father. However, this does not hinder their cooperation and exchanges in business. You also know that people in business only value profits. This is a common problem in this world. Selling out one's conscience, not to mention others, hypocrisy, double-decker, these are all normal things. Without my knowledge, my father 'sold' me to Wang Xinrui. Said 'Selling' is a bit too much, but it's essentially the same. I was engaged. My dad told me after I took the college entrance exam, and he told me not to worry about doing well or not, he would pay me to get me When I go to the United States or Canada to study in university, as long as I want, he will help me arrange everything. I don’t like to live a life that is arranged by others. Shaking in a circle, the whole route is a circle, and there is no starting point and ending point. So, when it was time to fill in the volunteers, I sneaked to the school, filled in the university I liked, and filled in the major I liked When I handed in the portfolio, I said to myself, this is the life of a person. If you don’t live the life you want to live, if you don’t pursue the life you want to live, then what’s the point of living? The notice is down At that time, my father was helping me with various documents for studying abroad. I still clearly remember that that night, he sat in the resplendent living room and told me all the details after going abroad. I listened absent-mindedly. In fact, I was I was planning a showdown with him in my heart. When he was about to go to sleep, I took out the acceptance letter from the university, and I just said, Dad, I want to live a life I like. "

He paused for a moment, the sound of breathing followed by the sound of his heartbeat.I grabbed his hand, but he didn't pull back.So, I held his hand tightly, and his palm was full of sweat and wet.

"Later, my father and I had a big fight. To be precise, he was fighting and yelling alone, and I just quietly endured the storm. I know, I can't escape. He scolded I have no future, no progress, no ambition, he called me useless, cowardly, unworthy to be his son. I only said one sentence, and it was this sentence that hurt his heart, I said, since you are so great , Why do you need to trade my life as a bet? After saying this, I grabbed the fruit knife on the table and drew it on my arm. Bright red blood gushed out of my wrist like a fountain. My dad was freaking out and a lot of people were freaking out and I could clearly hear my mom screaming but I didn't feel any pain at all, I just felt liberated but being held by the neck Live the days you don't want to live."

I didn't know what to say during the whole process, I just listened silently.I held his palm tightly, and I could easily feel the heat of his palm and the beating of his pulse.

"That's it, my father surrendered." He let out a long sigh of relief, as if he had won a battle, the colorful flags fluttered. "I got rid of the family that ignored me. I came to the school I liked, read the major I liked, and even met the person I liked. I always thought that all these were fate. Live the life I want to live, even if it is poor and tired, as long as it is happiness, I am willing to accept it, and I am willing to accept it. But... I didn't expect that in the end, I would return to the original point, and I would still be a trader The object. Before, it was my father who raised me, and now, it is my beloved woman." He withdrew his hand, and then lay on the bed without saying a word.

The room was dark and silent.I can even feel myself trembling, and the fear spurting from my blood envelops me like a dark wilderness.I ran desperately in this uninhabited mountain suburb, I ran desperately, I could hear the sound of the wind flying up and down from me.The whole years have been polished into cold walls. Every time I run a certain distance, there will be another wall behind me. Those walls are gray and white, full of dust left by time.I know that all my past is blocked by these walls, I can't go back, I can only run forward desperately.

But now, I abandoned Tang Qiming in these cold walls, and I brought him back to the prison he escaped from.For my own sake, I abandoned him.I don't even care whether he can find his way out of these walls, let alone joy and happiness.

"Go out," he breathed out exhaustedly, "I'm tired, I want to sleep for a while." He said, turned over, and soon, he buried his face in the pillow.

I stood up, and when I was about to leave, I leaned down and kissed his face, and I said, "Tang Qiming, I'm sorry." He put his face close to my ear, "Jiang Hui, I don't blame you, Really." He said in a low voice, and he hugged me with both hands naturally, "When Wang Xinrui told me what happened, I suddenly felt that I was worthless compared to you. You were even willing to take money for your mother's milk tea shop. I made a deal, and I couldn't do anything for my dad." He hugged me to his chest, "So, I don't blame you, I should thank you, thank you for helping me, helping me to help My dad do something."

After a short silence, he asked me, "Jiang Hui, tell me, have you ever loved me, even a little bit, a little bit is enough."

I didn't say anything, just hugged him tightly.I think, this may be the last time I held him deeply in my arms, the last time we intertwined each other's heartbeats and silently endured the traces of time, the last time...

(End of this chapter)