The Edge of Love and Pain: My Double Husband

Chapter 126 Lonely
I think what Mrs. Han said makes sense. Although Fan's father looks like a cute little old man, he earned all these family fortunes, so it is impossible for him to be innocent.But I can't quarrel with him, because weak people don't have the right to speak, just like me living here.

So I didn't mention this to Fan's father, and he didn't mention it to me. We chose to skip this question tacitly.

Fan's father only chatted with me about Yinyin, comforted my pain, and asked me about the details of that day.I asked, "Which personality do you think wants to kill me?"

Fan's father laughed: "Don't ask me which one I think it is. Which one do you want?"

"I hope it's the main character." I said, "After all, he's been bullying me from the very beginning. The bad guy has always been the bad guy. It's more acceptable than the good guy suddenly becoming the bad guy."

"Then stop asking for other people's opinions." Fan's father said with a smile, "All you need is to seek approval."

"It's not all." I said, "I'm just afraid. If it's really what everyone said, then what am I? What is the relationship between me and him? The main personality tortured me before. The reason why I didn't Run away, endure, just feel that there is another personality who loves me."

Fan's father pursed his lips, and sighed softly: "Lingling, Dad didn't understand a word until this age, and it's rare to be confused. The less people know, the braver, simpler, and less ignorant they are. Right or wrong, the more you feel at ease. Just like at the beginning, you didn’t know that it was the second personality. Did you have more courage than now? And happier? Every time you know more, do you get more entangled? So Dad advises you not to think about it. The more you think about it, the more you will lose your mind. It is better not to think about anything. Eliminate those meaningless things in the whole thing. In fact, there is only one thing left, that is, he can no longer communicate, and the most important thing is you. And Niannian's safety."

I understand this, but knowing and being able to do it are not the same thing: "I want to know if he loves me or not?"

"There is one who wants to sacrifice himself to protect you, and you can see that." Fan's father looked at me and said, "Then this question already has an answer, what is the No. 1 second personality? One. He is like this, but normal people like you and I have only one side? Dad always thinks that love should only look at the present moment. It is inevitable that they want to use you and want to use you, and want your life as a last resort."

I asked, "Have you ever done that kind of thing where you love and abuse someone at the same time?"

"I did." He said with a smile, "That's why Dad is dying alone now."

"Why did you do that?" I was very curious: "When you love someone, how can you be willing to hurt her? How can you be willing to make her sad? Even kill her? Love someone, don't you want to make the other person happy?"

"That's right." Fan's father's eyes were a little empty, obviously he didn't want to educate me, but just wanted to express his own thoughts: "But when you get older and see more things, you will You will understand that this kind of love you think is only a small probability event. It is your fate to get it, and it is normal not to get it. Don’t think that everyone can get this kind of love. Everyone can get it, but it is actually me The kind I said, love, but you can’t give everything, because there are too many things in front of love. Ordinary people’s love is in front of money, trivial matters, or ideas. We can solve these, but in front of us are bigger obstacles. Trouble, blocking life and death. Even sometimes, people will fall into an embarrassing situation where they cannot sacrifice themselves to fulfill the other party. You may even find that there are always some people who are more important than the one you most want to die for, because they are also implicated. A lot of wealth and status, and even if you die for the person you love, it will only hasten her death, and then you can only live reluctantly."

I didn't speak.

Fan's father seemed to have just come back to his senses, looked at me and smiled again: "Dad has become more and more verbose in recent years, his mind is also confused, and his words don't make sense. Please be patient."

"No." I said, "I was thinking about what you said."

"What did you think of?" Although he was polite just now, he still revealed his lonely old man's nature.

"I didn't expect anything." I was a little hard to express: "I just suddenly felt that love is also a very complicated thing."

"Love is complicated but also simple." Fan's father said, "It's something that requires pure feeling, and you can definitely make it simpler."

"But I don't know how simple Fanyin is, it's really too complicated." My chatterbox was suddenly opened: "If I can be sure now, that Xiao Tiantian really did these bad things, then I I definitely can't find a reason to continue. Because I feel... I can't fall in love with a person who bullied me like that. I can't understand what you just said, but I know that I want to have a stable home, it hurts My husband, and then had a few children. As far back as I can remember, my adoptive family told me that I was picked up by them and that this was not my home. I have always lived where there were only my aunts, who Treat me like a machine, the recipes are all the same every week, I can still remember that I eat fish every Monday, and beef on Tuesday. No one ever asks about my grades, school has any activities about me, No one came to attend the parent-teacher meeting. The auntie was just an observer, but she just finished the task and would not express any opinion on the teacher's evaluation of me. When a classmate bullied me at school, the auntie would talk to the teacher, Putting pressure on the school, but that's just because they think I don't deserve to be bullied, not out of distress. I tried to talk about this with my old best friends, but they think I'm moaning. The family they adopted me made I have no worries about food and clothing, and no one has ever scolded me. This is already the treatment they can't enjoy. But I always feel that there is no emotion in such a family. It has always been cold and unpopular. So I I hope that I can meet a warm person, just like Xiao Yinyin, I can be sure that he will not leave me, he will marry me, we stick together every day, and live a life that smells like fireworks. As you said, love is very complicated, but also very simple. To put it simply, I love him, because before I found out that he has No. I don't know if I love him like this or if I need him. I don't know if I love Fanyin or just the side of him who treats me well."

I spoke intermittently, not because my mind was stuck, but because I couldn't help crying while speaking.I feel that only a few people in this world can understand me, and everyone else will think that I am moaning for nothing, just like that friend.Because they are luckier than me, not spending more than ten years in that kind of utter loneliness and ignorance.When I was in elementary school, there was a boy who was very naughty. The teacher invited his mother to the school. I happened to be in the teacher's office to deliver homework to her.The mother held his hand and apologized to the teacher. After leaving the office, she scolded him fiercely at the door.Seeing this scene, I rejoiced in my heart how lucky I am to not have a mother.

But when school was over that day, I found that the mother hadn't come home, but was waiting at the door of the class with some snacks in her hand.It was raining that day, she held an umbrella, held his hand, took out his coat from her purse and urged him to wear it.

I also dreamed about my "mother" that night, and dreamed that when I walked out of the school gate, it was my mother who was waiting for me instead of the cold black car.She also held an umbrella in the continuous drizzle, prepared a warm coat for me, and urged me to put it on in that kind of fierce but caring tone... just like everyone's mother.She also took my hand and led me home.I will show her the clothes I secretly sew for dolls during recess, and whether she praises my handiness or scolds me for neglecting my studies, I will feel very happy.

But a dream is a dream after all. After waking up, I was still sitting alone in the middle of the table in the restaurant, eating an infinite loop of menus.Wake up, go out, go to class, finish class, sleep at a fixed time in the schedule...

Except for Su Jing, almost no one in that family said a word of nonsense to me.

There is even less concern and scolding.

There is absolutely no emotion under absolute rationality. This is the only truth I have understood in those 18 years.If the other person is never happy because of me, sad because of me, happy because of me, angry because of me; There is no point in mind.

It is also because of so many reasons that I always hope to cherish the relationship between me and Xiao Tiantian as much as possible.But Fanyin's situation made me feel hopeless and confused. Fan's father asked me not to think too complicatedly. I also know that so many people are helpless, and I can't help.But how can I not want to?How not to get entangled?

Deep down in my heart, I still hope to be with him, even foolishly expecting that I can wake up and find that all this is my dream, and I still live in our small house with Fanyin, Living the life in the world of mortals that I am most looking forward to.

I cried for a long time. During this time, Fan’s father kept handing me a handkerchief to wipe my tears. When I calmed down completely, he asked, “Did you tell Yinyin all these words?”

"I told Xiao Yinyin." I said, "He understands everything."

"Da Yinyin also understands." Fan's father said: "Yinyin has been working at home since she was ten years old, and she saw the dead body just a week after she did it. From a certain point of view, he is the same as you, because he didn't There is no way to rely on anyone, and there is no way to trust anyone. He is the only one he can trust. Until now, he has been very careful. Giving you the watch the year before last was the only time he gave power to others in so many years."

(End of this chapter)