The Edge of Love and Pain: My Double Husband

Chapter 155 But I'm Not
Well, I don't believe that it's so rare to be confused. What I believe is that in his heart, I haven't got the qualifications for such words.

But that's fine, if at this moment, he said that he loves me and wants to be with me, I really don't think I will believe it.

Taking advantage of the good atmosphere today, I naturally want to ask more questions: "Mr. Han said that he felt that the second personality hit me that day at the shooting range."

Fan Yin seemed a little surprised: "Why did he say that?"

"He said that you have a clear distinction between public and private, and you would not fight Achang for this kind of thing." I said sourly, "I really hope I am the public one."

"In my next life." He said, "Uncle Han always thinks of me very well."

"He must be a good man." After all, he is a philanthropist.

"Basically, he has always imagined the bad things about me in the second personality, and my mother is influenced by him, so she thinks so."

"So it's you?"

He was silent.

I said again: "I remember you had two times before, and you didn't remember what you were doing. Isn't it a coincidence?"

He still doesn't speak.

"Some people just said they wanted to let me know the whole truth."

"None of this has anything to do with healing."

"But I should have the right to know which personality is trying to kill me?" I said, "Now I feel confused."

"It's right to mess up." He said, "Both want to kill you."

"Can't you just talk a little more normally?" It's killing me!
"I'm already normal, but you insist on asking me questions that I don't want to answer." His tone became unfriendly: "Now I don't know which one is the real Fanyin, me or him. I always I think he and I only have the same name and DNA, but in terms of spirit, I am completely different from him, but no one agrees with this, and they all say that I must understand and accept that he is the same person as me. Then since So, does it matter who shoots you? Isn’t it all me? Besides, he has become more and more like me. When I know he did this, I feel scared. Because it’s shutting you down During the few days when I woke up, I did have the idea of ​​using this method."

He seemed to have answered my question, but he didn't answer directly: "Then tell me, before you drag me to the shooting range, was that you?"

He didn't speak.

"Say, this is the only way I can be sure that you are you!"

He suddenly let out a strange laugh.

"It's you, right?"

"Ah."

"Dead pervert."

"I knew you would say that." He was still laughing: "This is the only way I can prove that I am me."

"Dead pervert."

"I won't scold you anymore."

"I want to ask..." I bit my lips and asked, "What were you planning to do?"

"Make love." His voice was a little lower: "It's all up to that."

"Then what's on your mind?"

"Already counted." He started smoking again.

"How did you know for sure?"

"I can tell by your expression." He said, "After all, I'm a child, and those little tricks can't escape the eyes of adults."

dead old man.

I became uneasy: "So, he really wants to kill me."

"I could feel that he was angry, but maybe it was just jealousy," he said. "It wasn't out of control like before, just angry. And he chose the method I wanted to use before, and he wanted me to take the blame."

"Oh."

I'm really numb, sweetie, sweetie, I really don't know what to say.

After a long silence, Fanyin suddenly said, "I want to ask you a question too."

"Just ask."

"Do you believe what I just said?"

"Believe it, but hope it's not true."

He didn't speak.

"I prefer to be the one who does bad things?"

"Yeah." I said, "I'm sorry, it's the truth."

He was silent again.

I remembered what Fan's father said to me yesterday, and asked, "You don't explain this every time, because you think I won't believe it?"

"I wouldn't believe it in my place."

I don't think I'm overly sensitive: "Why do you feel this way? Has something like this happened before?"

Fanyin stopped talking.

I felt uncomfortable for a while: "Hey, is what you just told me true?"

"It's all objective facts."

"What about your subjectivity?" I said, "What are the different 'facts' for your subjectivity?"

"No." He answered simply.

"Hey!" I really annoyed him to death: "Can you stop being so awkward and just say what you want to say?"

He remained silent.

I thought he was struggling, so I didn't make any noise to disturb him.

As a result, after a while, he pinched his cigarette and stood up, pulled my arm, and said, "Let's go, let's go back."

I couldn't hold on: "Tell me clearly first, are you lying to me so much?"

"I'm not lying to you, those are objective facts." His voice was calm: "I admit that I have concealed some subjective content, but that doesn't affect what happened at all."

"I won't know if it has any effect until you finish talking."

"I'm 30 years old, so I don't even have this judgment." He said, "Get up, I'm going back to cook. Think about what we're having for dinner."

"No."

"Get up." He lost his patience and urged, "Otherwise I will beat you."

"Don't get up!" I said, "Speak clearly, or I'll be lying here."

He stood there for a while, then let go and left.

Although I'm not lying here, I'm sitting there, ready to die like this.If he comes back, I will continue to pester him. If he leaves, someone will come and tell me to go back later.

This sitting has been sitting for a long time, I can't see the time, I can only estimate it, and it feels like at least an hour has passed.The sun made me sweat all over my head, and I was still a little angry.I finally hoped that he would tell me a few words about the black history that might help to study the disease, but he even lied to me!
How insincere!
Just as he was angry, a figure suddenly came up in front of him, the shape of the silhouette looked like Fanyin.

Sure enough, his figure walked in front of me, and the smell of smoke wafted over.

I said nothing, waiting for him to speak.He may also have the same mentality, so after a long time, he said: "I didn't do the shooting range."

"anything else?"

"It's not me who forced you to have a miscarriage the second time."

"anything else?"

"You said you asked me, and I asked you to go to Pu Lan after I promised. That's not what I promised."

"and also?"

"I did the rest," he said, "including shooting you."

"I know." Always say this infuriating thing: "Say something else."

"The other thing is..." He paused and said, "I didn't kill that child, I didn't strangle Amelie, and I didn't push her father down the stairs..."

I couldn't help interrupting him: "What's the matter with her father?"

"It was when you went to the hospital," he said. "Her father died not long after."

I still didn't understand: "I know these are not you. Didn't you just say that the second personality did it?"

"The point is, I'm not the same person as him." His voice was distressed: "I know you all think he did that, but in your hearts, he is my other half, but I am not. This is My subjective opinion. But..."

I didn't stop him, but he stopped himself, and after a while he said: "I don't know how to go on, so be it, let me go."

After Fanyin left, he didn't bring me a meal as promised, but Fan's father brought pork liver.

Although it's hard to eat, I seem to have gotten used to his dark dishes, and I don't find it hard to swallow.

Fan's father said that Fan Yin did not go back to him, but went back to his own home, and called to say that he was a little tired and wanted to take a rest, and asked Fan's father to help deliver meals.

Of course the old man actively asked me what they talked about, so I learned everything.

Fan's father gritted his teeth angrily: "She really lied to him like this!"

"Would the dismemberment be real?"

"I don't know, but the child was definitely not killed by Yinyin." He said: "At that time, Yinyin liked the child very much. Kill, Yinyin will kill immediately?"

"Oh." I asked, "Have you dug the grave yet?"

"Dig it."

"Frustrated?"

"Yeah." Fan's father said, "Her mother and other relatives have also been arrested, and the rest of them are still looking for them, and they haven't been found yet."

"Oh."

"Think dad is a bit vicious?"

"No." I said, "I want to ask you, where is the child's body?"

"She can handle it herself." Fan's father said, "I don't know."

I hurriedly said, "Yinyin said, she said you got rid of it."

"Stupid you? If I deal with that, don't you know what's going on with that child?" Fan's father said, "I didn't even know that the body was dismembered. Yinyin didn't remember it at all before, it seems that it was because we tricked him into reading it." It reminded him of this."

Apparently because of that.

That night, I lay on the bed, unable to fall asleep for a long time, my mind was full of Fanyin's last words.

In fact, it has been written in Fanyin's case that Fanyin's attitude towards the second personality is completely "he is him, I am me". His expectation all along is not fusion, but the disappearance of the second personality. He thinks The second personality is the intruder.

But the doctor and his family have always told him that the second personality is a part of him, and he should face it squarely. Only by facing it can he be cured.

He is now facing up to it rationally, but he still cannot accept it emotionally.

I'm trying to imagine him as myself at the moment, and if I suddenly find out that my body is doing JN while I'm asleep, pregnant and giving birth, what will I think of her?Treat her like a part of me?

If Fanyin and Niannian blame me for this, treat me as a patient, and insist on making me accept the JN me, insisting that she is also a part of me.But my thinking is very clear, my bottom line is that I will never be a JN, so what do I think?
Thinking about it, I feel like I'm going crazy too.

(End of this chapter)