The Edge of Love and Pain: My Double Husband

Chapter 361 So It Was Lost Here

"No." I said, "It's just because I haven't seen him for a long time, and I miss him very much. When people are very happy, they can't help crying."

"Oh……"

I felt that she had something on her mind, so I asked: "What's the matter? Do you remember what Auntie said? Don't believe her. She's talking nonsense. Your father didn't hit me."

"Oh." Surprisingly, she didn't pursue this question, but said, "Mom, when you were young, was your grandfather nice to you?"

"Great."

"Oh." She wondered for a while, and said, "Does that mean that as long as people grow up, they will be afraid of their father?"

I couldn't help being taken aback, realizing that I couldn't justify myself.After thinking about it, he said, "Mom lied to you. When mom was young, it was very difficult to see grandpa once."

She blinked, obviously not understanding.In fact, in her current world, she is quite happy, and making her feel happy is the only thing I can do to make up for her.

"Grandpa is often very busy and has many children, so he doesn't live with mother." I said, "So, in my mother's heart, grandpa is like a stranger. Unlike your father, although he is not in good health, he still tries to accompany him as much as possible." You don’t have to be afraid, it’s not that you will be afraid of your father as long as you grow up, but if your father loves you, you will never feel afraid of him.”

She nodded and said, "Mom?"

"Ok?"

"Don't cry." She said: "My father said, whoever treats me badly, I will ignore him. Since grandpa treats you badly, then you should ignore him."

My throat was blocked and I couldn't speak.She stretched out her little hand again, wiped the tears on my face, and her tone became anxious: "Anyway, you live with me, sister, sister and father now, and I will live with you forever. It doesn't matter."

It's fine if she doesn't say that, but when she said that, I wanted to cry even more.She is five years old, but I want to send her away again.And this time it was actually sent to the place that was like a nightmare for me.If she is older, I am willing to tell her the matter and let her make her own decision. If she is younger, the harm can be reduced, but why...

I cried for a while before coming out of the hospital with them.Fortunately, Pu Lan didn't ask too many questions, and I didn't explain to him. I just told him it was fine and I didn't want him to know that I had broken up with my adoptive father.

I thought my adoptive father could arrange a place for me, but since I didn't, I listened to Pu Lan and rested at his place.Pu Lan didn't say anything, the cook made us something to eat and let us go to rest. Nian Nian was conquered by his cooking skills and became a little friendly to him, not to mention she was already very tired.

I couldn't sleep well, and when I closed my eyes, all kinds of things happened. I even dreamed of the few minutes when Pu Lan lay on me on New Year's Eve many years ago.

The horror, helplessness and humiliation at that time are still vivid in my mind until now.

When I woke up, I remembered what my adoptive father had said about me, and I still felt more embarrassing than what others said about me.I am also a good person. If there is still a choice, who is willing to let others do nothing and become a ghost?

In the second half of the night, I couldn't fall asleep at all, so I got up to drink coffee after being in a daze to no avail.

Sitting on the terrace for a while, I suddenly heard someone call me: "Miss Su?"

The sound was a little far away, behind the wall was Pu Lan.

I picked up the coffee cup and walked to the corner, and sure enough, I saw him sticking his head out on the balcony next door, with a cigarette between his fingertips, and said with a smile, "When I hear someone moving the cup, I know it's you."

"I can't sleep." I asked, "Why don't you rest."

"I can't sleep either." He took a drag on his cigarette and asked, "What do you want to do tomorrow? Play with the kids?"

"No." I said, "I'm not free this time, and my youngest daughter is still so young."

He nodded, and said again: "How do you want to arrange for the child next? Does your father agree to arrange it?"

"I agree." I didn't expect him to guess it, but this is also normal: "But I'm actually a little bit reluctant."

He looked at me with understanding in his expression.

"Our family knows everything about Niannian. The more I am like this, the more I dare not tell her." I said, "But..."

"I've been looking for a psychiatrist for my father before." He said, "You know, his illness is long-term, slow, but very excruciating. He suffers not only physical pain, but also psychological pain. And so The important matter was handed over to me, an outsider who has no relatives, which proves that there is no one around him who can make him feel at ease."

I didn't speak.

"Although I don't know too much about you, I feel that if he says something harsh to you, it may just be because of inconvenience." He said: "Don't be too sad."

I shook my head and said, "I'm not sad."

"It's all written on your face." He laughed and said, "Don't worry, even if he said today that he doesn't want you anymore and told you to fend for yourself, I won't run away immediately."

I felt that there was something in his words, and asked, "Has he told you anything about my life experience?"

"No." He said, "But I think you are different from those adopted children in his heart."

"Because I married Fanyin."

He laughed: "Based on your words, we can see that if your father divides the family property for you in the future, it must be because he has selfish intentions for you."

I asked: "Why?"

"In the history of your Su family, you can't count the number of princes and nobles who married princes and nobles, and the wealthy and dignitaries. The officials and rich people who proposed to your sisters would have broken the threshold of your family long ago, but you actually think that your father only relies on you. Marrying a gangster and being mentally ill makes you think that you are the most capable person in the family, your vision is too narrow."

"Of course I am narrow." I said, "If you try to live by yourself for 17 years, you will be narrower than I am."

He suppressed his smile and said, "I'm not accusing you."

"I understand what you mean, and this is another reason why I am unhappy today. If he is my biological father, then I would hate him a little bit." I said, "I know you know very well that I used to be Lie to you. He is not my real father. I expected him to visit me every day until I was 17. He never once. I can't even remember what he looks like, but I am very grateful to him. I feel that if Without him, I definitely wouldn't have had a chance to survive. But if he is my biological father, then I can't help but hate him, for whatever reason, even if it is because of his illness, he threw me aside in 17 years , but brought other children with him, no matter what the reason is, I will never forgive him."

He didn't speak.

"You said that, and Fanyin said that, it's because none of you have lived like me." I didn't say these words to him, but I wanted to tell my adoptive father, but he didn't even say that. If I am not asked to confirm, then I am willing not to confirm, just like I do not want to confirm the truth of what old man Fan said at all.Even if I don't want to, I have to admit that my life is like my name, Yu, which is rootless and destined to have no origin.I said: "I have never tried to keep working hard just to let him take me to my side, I have never tried to dream that he can come to see me and say a few words to me. I have always regarded him as the only family member." , but in fact he didn’t come to see me, and he didn’t even call me. Everyone told me that he was a very good person, and it was only me who was bad. I didn’t want to blame him, but Many years ago, the reason why I couldn't leave Fanyin was because I had no bottom line. I didn't have a bottom line, just because I thought it was not easy for someone to love me, even if he was a lunatic. I think, the reason why I don't feel that I will be People love, because he branded me the original sin. He is not my real father, so I don't want to blame him, and I don't want to hate him. But if he is my real father, it will be different, really different . . . I will not forgive him."

He never interrupted me aloud.

I think he could tell I was venting.

In fact, it's not just Fanyin who is sick?I am also sick.In other words, who in this world is not "ill"?Who can have no shadow at all in his heart?

After a long time, he opened his mouth: "I kept thinking, how can I be inferior to that lunatic. It turns out that I lost here."

I knew he was joking to lighten my mood, but I couldn't speak.

"I was wrong to say that just now. Indeed, no matter what the purpose is, your father's behavior has indirectly ruined your life." He said, "I won't speak for him."

I said: "It won't be ruined. If my husband is not sick, he will definitely treat me well. He is also a good father and treats the child very well. It is not on his own mind that he is sick. He is also a very pitiful person. "

"Hey." He suddenly looked over, "I have a question for you."

"Ah."

"At the beginning... did you regret not choosing me?"

I shook my head.

He looked surprised: "Why?"

"Apart from being able to cook, you are not much better than him."

"At least I'm more normal than him."

"Not necessarily." I said, "You are so utilitarian, you are no better than him."

He shook his head with a smile, and said, "I'm so utilitarian, but I've waited for you for so many years. You're not happy about your narrow vision. You always think of people so simple."

I couldn't help but look at him, but couldn't speak.

He glanced at me and asked, "What?"

"It's nothing." I said, "Apart from being stupid, do I have any other advantages?"

"Looks pretty."

"anything else?"

"No more." He said, "I don't know if it works or not. I'll tell when I try it."

I didn't speak.

"Angry?" He laughed: "You are kind, cute, smart, educated, and tolerant. I admit that I did take a fancy to your family at first, but I already guessed that you are not favored." But this did not affect my desire to marry you home as my wife, but unfortunately, you never wanted to be with me for a moment."

(End of this chapter)