leave this sad place

Chapter 106

Returning to his seat in a daze, Ouyang didn't know how to express his inner voice.In order for the teacher to take a look at the poem I wrote, I waited again and again, wandering between hope and disappointment again and again.But what did you get in the end?Is it possible to say that you are not lost?Maybe it's possible again, that is, Ouyang is kidding himself again.

"Maybe this time she didn't pay attention to it, and she didn't express any opinions because her writing was really bad! She was ashamed to talk about herself, so as not to hurt my confidence." He comforted himself again, and he couldn't help but think of her writing with words in his mind. His eyes quickly scanned the scene of his own poem.How can you not read poetry carefully?He couldn't let go of it, but what could he do?Feeling extremely aggrieved!

"Maybe it's because my level is not enough, otherwise, how could she not pay attention to it so much?" I comforted myself like this again, but also comforted myself with my own shortcomings.It's so ridiculous and pathetic, he feels like he has become humbled by himself.

"Work hard and write some good things in the future. I don't believe that she still treats me like this!" He said cruel words in his heart, but only he knew that he was doing this to comfort himself, so that he could still be able to take care of himself in the future. Show her the poems I wrote without any negative emotions.

"Besides, the purpose of writing poetry is to improve my writing level. Show it to the teacher and let her point out my shortcomings. What is there to hesitate?" He further comforted himself, taking the original purpose of writing poetry as a matter of course. It is said that it is to improve my writing skills.But that real purpose was firmly buried in his heart, because it contained sadness and a past that he didn't want to recall.

"This is for my own dream. No matter how humble it is for my dream, why not?" He once again randomly grabbed some comfort and imposed it on himself to make himself feel better.

Perhaps it was such comfort time after time that made Ouyang's heart recover slowly, and he no longer felt lost.

"I should write some good poems for her to read!" He firmly believed in himself, always admonishing himself like this, as if he wanted to prove something!But he didn't want to think too much about what he was trying to prove.

It's a new day, and a new Chinese class is about to start.

Ouyang ran to the teacher in a hurry like yesterday, wanting to show her a new poem he wrote.

"Teacher, teacher, help me read this poem I wrote yesterday." He said happily.I felt a little bit of pride in my heart, like a child showing off his abilities in front of his parents, so childish!But how can parents be compared with teachers?Maybe more, but not many.

She still glanced quickly, but didn't give him a positive answer--good or bad.Or say some words of encouragement, let him continue to work hard, let him work hard and so on.

Ouyang smiled and listened to her saying some irrelevant words, unable to give himself some useful advice or give him a little help.How could such a thing be what he wished to hear?He felt that she was just perfunctory to himself, and she was too stingy to say a word of encouragement, which made Ouyang feel even more disappointed.

"Maybe it's because I haven't written well enough, and I haven't done well enough!" He convinced himself again and again, thinking that it was his own reason, that his ability was not enough.It is inevitable to suffer some blows like this.

"There will always be a day when she will let her look at me!" He encouraged himself in his heart again, and at this time, he was left with only himself to motivate himself!

"Maybe she won't be like this again tomorrow." He comforted himself, giving himself hope.A life without hope is powerless and gloomy!How could he let himself live like he did during the first year of high school again?

"Teacher, how about you take a look at this poem I wrote again?" It was a new day, and Ouyang still ran to her and asked her with a smile.

"Maybe this time she will tell me something useful." He said such comforting words over and over again in his heart, which is why he could ask her with a smile every time, otherwise If so, isn't his heart filled with disappointment?
However, the result he obtained was still the same as yesterday, which made his heart feel lost again.

Time passed slowly, and Ouyang repeated the obsession in his head like a machine.Lost again and again, comforting himself again and again, under such blows and tortures, his heart was full of pain.

Finally, once, he felt that the teacher seemed to be avoiding him consciously, which made him suddenly wake up.

"Maybe she can't stand it anymore." There was a wry smile on the corner of his mouth.I really don't know what words to use to describe myself like this, should I use perseverance?Or stubborn?
But he already knew that he could no longer be like before, and maybe the teacher would dislike him next time.

His heart also slowly felt a little tired.It seems that if this continues, it will not only be the teacher who is disgusted, but also himself!

"I seem to be extremely humble like this, and I don't even care about being reserved." He felt a bit of grief in his heart, and he had been like this before, and that was when he broke up with Yushu.At that time, I was so humble in front of love that I lost a trace of dignity. What I longed for and expected was just to see her, to know her situation, and to know if she was doing well.So humble, but still did not realize such a small luxury.And this time?He didn't care about a little bit of dignity again.

Just thinking about it like this made his heart hurt even more, heartache, haunting him like a relapse of an old disease!Once such a disease is contracted, it cannot be driven away.

"I will never, never let myself be so humble again!" He secretly made up his mind in his heart, silent oaths are sometimes much more powerful and unforgettable than loud declarations.

This time, he will never let his future self live without dignity. This is his principle, and it is his bottom line. It is his silent silence!

It was another new day, Ouyang sat quietly in his seat and waited for the Chinese class.No longer would he copy his poems neatly to show her; he would no longer run out on purpose to see if she was here.Because he has already decided not to show her his poems anymore, he really doesn't want to make himself so humble in front of her like before, his bones don't allow him to do that anymore!
"Others don't care at all, why should I be so attentive?" He comforted himself, but he didn't know that what these words revealed was his sadness and helplessness.A sincere heart has long faded away in such perfunctory, and the remaining innocence has long since disappeared.

This time, when the Chinese teacher entered the classroom, she was stunned for a moment, and subconsciously glanced at Ouyang under the podium. This guy finally stopped bothering her!

Ouyang watched her look towards him, and smiled at her, but felt an indescribable sense of relief in his heart.I will never treat her so graciously again!Never again!

"Hey, Ouyang. Why don't you run over today and show her the poem you wrote?" Chen Cheng asked curiously. Most of the people in the class knew about it in the past few days.Ouyang didn't know whether to praise himself or satirize himself!

"No more." Ouyang smiled slightly and said lightly. "No more" means never again, never again!But he didn't want to explain.It has long been his habit to hide everything in his heart.

"Oh." Chen Cheng nodded thoughtfully, and didn't say anything more.

(End of this chapter)